crime and punishment(罪与罚)-第48章
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〃Brother； think what you are saying！〃 Avdotya Romanovna began
impetuously； but immediately checked herself。 〃You are not fit to talk
now； perhaps； you are tired；〃 she added gently。
〃You think I am delirious？ No。。。 You are marrying Luzhin for my
sake。 But I won't accept the sacrifice。 And so write a letter before
to…morrow； to refuse him。。。 Let me read it in the morning and that
will be the end of it！〃
〃That I can't do！〃 the girl cried； offended； 〃what right have
you。。。〃
〃Dounia； you are hasty； too； be quiet； to…morrow。。。 Don't you
see。。。〃 the mother interposed in dismay。 〃Better come away！〃
〃He is raving；〃 Razumihin cried tipsily； 〃or how would he dare！
To…morrow all this nonsense will be over。。。 to…day he certainly did
drive him away。 That was so。 And Luzhin got angry； too。。。 He made
speeches here； wanted to show off his learning and he went out
crest…fallen。。。。〃
〃Then it's true？〃 cried Pulcheria Alexandrovna。
〃Good…bye till to…morrow； brother；〃 said Dounia compassionately…
〃let us go； mother。。。 Good…bye； Rodya。〃
〃Do you hear； sister；〃 he repeated after them； making a last effort；
〃I am not delirious； this marriage is… an infamy。 Let me act like a
scoundrel； but you mustn't。。。 one is enough。。。 and though I am a
scoundrel； I wouldn't own such a sister。 It's me or Luzhin！ Go
now。。。。〃
〃But you're out of your mind！ Despot！〃 roared Razumihin； but
Raskolnikov did not and perhaps could not answer。 He lay down on the
sofa； and turned to the wall； utterly exhausted。 Avdotya Romanovna
looked with interest at Razumihin； her black eyes flashed； Razumihin
positively started at her glance。
Pulcheria Alexandrovna stood overwhelmed。
〃Nothing would induce me to go；〃 she whispered in despair to
Razumihin。 〃I will stay somewhere here。。。 escort Dounia home。〃
〃You'll spoil everything；〃 Razumihin answered in the same whisper；
losing patience… 〃come out on to the stairs； anyway。 Nastasya； show
a light！ I assure you；〃 he went on in a half whisper on the stairs…
〃that he was almost beating the doctor and me this afternoon！ Do you
understand？ The doctor himself！ Even he gave way and left him； so as
not to irritate him。 I remained downstairs on guard； but he dressed at
once and slipped off。 And he will slip off again if you irritate
him； at this time of night； and will do himself some mischief。。。。〃
〃What are you saying？〃
〃And Avdotya Romanovna can't possibly be left in those lodgings
without you。 Just think where you are staying！ That blackguard Pyotr
Petrovitch couldn't find you better lodgings。。。 But you know I've
had a little to drink； and that's what makes me。。。 swear； don't mind
it。。。。〃
〃But I'll go to the landlady here；〃 Pulcheria Alexandrovna insisted；
〃Ill beseech her to find some corner for Dounia and me for the
night。 I can't leave him like that； I cannot！〃
This conversation took place on the landing just before the
landlady's door。 Nastasya lighted them from a step below。 Razumihin
was in extraordinary excitement。 Half an hour earlier； while he was
bringing Raskolnikov home； he had indeed talked too freely； but he was
aware of it himself； and his head was clear in spite of the vast
quantities he had imbibed。 Now he was in a state bordering on ecstasy；
and all that he had drunk seemed to fly to his head with redoubled
effect。 He stood with the two ladies； seizing both by their hands；
persuading them； and giving them reasons with astonishing plainness of
speech； and at almost every word he uttered； probably to emphasize his
arguments； he squeezed their hands painfully as in a vise。 He stared
at Avdotya Romanovna without the least regard for good manners。 They
sometimes pulled their hands out of his huge bony paws； but far from
noticing what was the matter； he drew them all the closer to him。 If
they'd told him to jump head foremost from the staircase； he would
have done it without thought or hesitation in their service。 Though
Pulcheria Alexandrovna felt that the young man was really too
eccentric and pinched her hand too much； in her anxiety over her Rodya
she looked on his presence as providential and was unwilling to notice
all his peculiarities。 But though Avdotya Romanovna shared her
anxiety； and was not of timorous disposition； she could not see the
glowing light in his eyes without wonder and almost alarm。 It was only
the unbounded confidence inspired by Nastasya's account of her
brother's queer friend； which prevented her from trying to run away
from him； and to persuade her mother to do the same。 She realised；
too； that even running away was perhaps impossible now。 Ten minutes
later； however； she was considerably reassured； it was
characteristic of Razumihin that he showed his true nature at once；
whatever mood he might be in； so that people quickly saw the sort of
man they had to deal with。
〃You can't go to the landlady； that's perfect nonsense！〃 he cried。
〃If you stay； though you are his mother； you'll drive him to a frenzy；
and then goodness knows what will happen！ Listen； I'll tell you what
I'll do： Nastasya will stay with him now； and I'll conduct you both
home； you can't be in the streets alone； Petersburg is an awful
place in that way。。。 But no matter！ Then I'll run straight back here
and a quarter of an hour later； on my word of honour； I'll bring you
news how he is； whether he is asleep； and all that。 Then； listen！ Then
I'll run home in a twinkling… I've a lot of friends there； all
drunk… I'll fetch Zossimov… that's the doctor who is looking after
him； he is there； too； but he is not drunk； he is not drunk； he is
never drunk！ I'll drag him to Rodya； and then to you； so that you'll
get two reports in the hour… from the doctor； you understand； from the
doctor himself； that's a very different thing from my account of
him！ If there's anything wrong； I swear I'll bring you here myself；
but； if it's all right； you go to bed。 And I'll spend the night
here； in the passage； he won't hear me； and I'll tell Zossimov to
sleep at the landlady's； to be at hand。 Which is better for him： you
or the doctor？ So come home then！ But the landlady is out of the
question； it's all right for me； but it's out of the question for you：
she wouldn't take you； for she's。。。 for she's a fool。。。 She'd be
jealous on my account of Avdotya Romanovna and of you； too； if you
want to know。。。 of Avdotya Romanovna certainly。 She is an
absolutely； absolutely unaccountable character！ But I am a fool；
too！。。。 No matter！ Come along！ Do you trust me？ Come； do you trust
me or not？〃
〃Let us go； mother；〃 said Avdotya Romanovna； 〃he will certainly do
what he has promised。 He has saved Rodya already； and if the doctor
really will consent to spend the night here； what could be better？〃
〃You see； you。。。 you。。。 understand me； because you are an angel！〃
Razumihin cried in ecstasy； 〃let us go！ Nastasya！ Fly upstairs and sit
with him with a light； I'll come in a quarter of an hour。〃
Though Pulcheria Alexandrovna was not perfectly convinced； she
made no further resistance。 Razumihin gave an arm to each and drew
them down the stairs。 He still made her uneasy； as though he was
competent and good…natured； was he capable of carrying out his
promise？ He seemed in such a condition。。。。
〃Ah； I see you think I am in such a condition！〃 Razumihin broke in
upon her thoughts； guessing them； as he strolled along the pavement
with huge steps； so that the two ladies could hardly keep up with him；
a fact he did not observe； however。 〃Nonsense！ That is。。。 I am drunk
like a fool； but that's not it； I am not drunk from wine。 It's
seeing you has turned my head。。。 But don't mind me！ Don't take any
notice： I am talking nonsense； I am not worthy of you。。。 I am
utterly unworthy of you！ The minute I've taken you home； I'll pour a
couple of pailfuls of water over my head in the gutter here； and
then I shall be all right。。。 If only you knew how I love you both！
Don't laugh； and don't be angry！ You may be angry with any one； but
not with me！ I am his friend； and therefore I am your friend； too； I
want to be。。。 I had a presentiment。。。 Last year there was a
moment。。。 though it wasn't a presentiment really； for you seem to have
fallen from heaven。 And I expect I shan't sleep all night。。。
Zossimov was afraid a little time ago that he would go mad。。。 that's
why he mustn't be irritated。〃
〃What do you say？〃 cried the mother。
〃Did the doctor really say that？〃 asked Avdotya Romanovna； alarmed。
〃Yes； but it's not so； not a bit of it。 He gave him some medicine； a
powder； I saw it； and then your coming here。。。。 Ah！ It would have been
better if you had come to…morrow。 It's a good thing we went away。
And in an hour Zossimov himself will report to you about everything。
He is not drunk！ And I shan't be drunk。。。 And what made me get so
tight？ Because they got me into an argument； damn them！ I've sworn
never to argue！ They talk such trash！ I almost came to blows！ I've
left my uncle to preside。 Would you believe； they insist on complete
absence of individualism and that's just what they relish！ Not to be
themselves； to be as unlike themselves as they can。 That's what they
regard as the highest point of progress。 If only their
