crime and punishment(罪与罚)-第49章
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
regard as the highest point of progress。 If only their nonsense were
their own； but as it is。。。〃
〃Listen！〃 Pulcheria Alexandrovna interrupted timidly； but it only
added fuel to the flames。
〃What do you think？〃 shouted Razumihin； louder than ever； 〃you think
I am attacking them for talking nonsense？ Not a bit！ I like them to
talk nonsense。 That's man's one privilege over all creation。 Through
error you come to the truth！ I am a man because I err！ You never reach
any truth without making fourteen mistakes and very likely a hundred
and fourteen。 And a fine thing； too； in its way； but we can't even
make mistakes on our own account！ Talk nonsense； but talk your own
nonsense； and I'll kiss you for it。 To go wrong in one's own way is
better than to go right in some one else's。 In the first case you
are a man； in the second you're no better than a bird。 Truth won't
escape you； but life can be cramped。 There have been examples。 And
what are we doing now？ In science； development； thought； invention；
ideals； aims； liberalism； judgment； experience and everything；
everything； everything； we are still in the preparatory class at
school。 We prefer to live on other people's ideas； it's what we are
used to！ Am I right； am I right？〃 cried Razumihin； pressing and
shaking the two ladies' hands。
〃Oh； mercy； I do not know；〃 cried poor Pulcheria Alexandrovna。
〃Yes； yes。。。 though I don't agree with you in everything；〃 added
Avdotya Romanovna earnestly and at once uttered a cry； for he squeezed
her hand so painfully。
〃Yes； you say yes。。。 well after that you。。。 you。。。〃 he cried in a
transport； 〃you are a fount of goodness； purity； sense。。。 and
perfection。 Give me your hand。。。 you give me yours； too！ I want to
kiss your hands here at once； on my knees。。。〃 and he fell on his knees
on the pavement； fortunately at that time deserted。
〃Leave off； I entreat you； what are you doing？〃 Pulcheria
Alexandrovna cried； greatly distressed。
〃Get up； get up！〃 said Dounia laughing； though she； too； was upset。
〃Not for anything till you let me kiss your hands！ That's it！
Enough！ I get up and we'll go on！ I am a luckless fool； I am
unworthy of you and drunk。。。 and I am ashamed。。。。 I am not worthy to
love you； but to do homage to you is the duty of every man who is
not a perfect beast！ And I've done homage。。。。 Here are your
lodgings； and for that alone Rodya was right in driving your Pyotr
Petrovitch away。。。。 How dare he！ how dare he put you in such lodgings！
It's a scandal！ Do you know the sort of people they take in here？
And you his betrothed！ You are his betrothed？ Yes； well； then； I'll
tell you； your fiance is a scoundrel。〃
〃Excuse me； Mr。 Razumihin； you are forgetting。。。〃 Pulcheria
Alexandrovna was beginning。
〃Yes； yes； you are right； I did forget myself； I am ashamed of
it；〃 Razumihin made haste to apologise。 〃But。。。 but you can't be angry
with me for speaking so！ For I speak sincerely and not because。。。
hm； hm！ That would be disgraceful； in fact not because I'm in。。。 hm！
Well； anyway I won't say why； I daren't。。。。 But we all saw to…day when
he came in that that man is not of our sort。 Not because he had his
hair curled at the barber's； not because he was in such a hurry to
show his wit； but because he is a spy； a speculator； because he is a
skin…flint and a buffoon。 That's evident。 Do you think him clever？ No；
he is a fool； a fool。 And is he a match for you？ Good heavens！ Do
you see； ladies？〃 he stopped suddenly on the way upstairs to their
rooms； 〃though all my friends there are drunk； yet they are all
honest； and though we do talk a lot of trash； and I do； too； yet we
shall talk our way to the truth at last； for we are on the right path；
while Pyotr Petrovitch。。。 is not on the right path。 Though I've been
calling them all sorts of names just now； I do respect them all。。。
though I don't respect Zametov； I like him； for he is a puppy； and
that bullock Zossimov； because he is an honest man and knows his work。
But enough； it's all said and forgiven。 Is it forgiven？ Well； then；
let's go on。 I know this corridor； I've been here； there was a scandal
here at Number 3。。。。 Where are you here？ Which number？ eight？ Well；
lock yourselves in for the night； then。 Don't let anybody in。 In a
quarter of an hour I'll come back with news； and half an hour later
I'll bring Zossimov； you'll see！ Good…bye； I'll run。〃
〃Good heavens； Dounia； what is going to happen？〃 said Pulcheria
Alexandrovna； addressing her daughter with anxiety and dismay。
〃Don't worry yourself； mother；〃 said Dounia； taking off her hat
and cape。 〃God has sent this gentleman to our aid； though he has
come from a drinking party。 We can depend on him； I assure you。 And
all that he has done for Rodya。。。。〃
〃Ah。 Dounia； goodness knows whether he will come！ How could I
bring myself to leave Rodya？。。。 And how different； how different I had
fancied our meeting！ How sullen he was； as though not pleased to see
us。。。。〃
Tears came into her eyes。
〃No； it's not that； mother。 You didn't see； you were crying all
the time。 He is quite unhinged by serious illness… that's the reason。〃
〃Ah； that illness！ What will happen； what will happen？ And how he
talked to you； Dounia！〃 said the mother； looking timidly at her
daughter； trying to read her thoughts and； already half consoled by
Dounia's standing up for her brother； which meant that she had already
forgiven him。 〃I am sure he will think better of it to…morrow；〃 she
added； probing her further。
〃And I am sure that he will say the same to…morrow。。。 about that；〃
Avdotya Romanovna said finally。 And； of course； there was no going
beyond that； for this was a point which Pulcheria Alexandrovna was
afraid to discuss。 Dounia went up and kissed her mother。 The latter
warmly embraced her without speaking。 Then she sat down to wait
anxiously for Razumihin's return； timidly watching her daughter who
walked up and down the room with her arms folded； lost in thought。
This walking up and down when she was thinking was a habit of
Avdotya Romanovna's and the mother was always afraid to break in on
her daughter's mood at such moments。
Razumihin； of course； was ridiculous in his sudden drunken
infatuation for Avdotya Romanovna。 Yet apart from his eccentric
condition； many people would have thought it justified if they had
seen Avdotya Romanovna； especially at that moment when she was walking
to and fro with folded arms； pensive and melancholy。 Avdotya Romanovna
was remarkably good looking； she was tall； strikingly
well…proportioned； strong and self…reliant… the latter quality was
apparent in every gesture； though it did not in the least detract from
the grace and softness of her movements。 In face she resembled her
brother； but she might be described as really beautiful。 Her hair
was dark brown； a little lighter than her brother's； there was a proud
light in her almost black eyes and yet at times a look of
extraordinary kindness。 She was pale； but it was a healthy pallor； her
face was radiant with freshness and vigour。 Her mouth was rather
small； the full red lower lip projected a little as did her chin； it
was the only irregularity in her beautiful face； but it gave it a
peculiarly individual and almost haughty expression。 Her face was
always more serious and thoughtful than gay； but how well smiles；
how well youthful； lighthearted； irresponsible； laughter suited her
face！ It was natural enough that a warm； open； simple…hearted；
honest giant like Razumihin； who had never seen any one like her and
was not quite sober at the time； should lose his head immediately。
Besides； as chance would have it； he saw Dounia for the first time
transfigured by her love for her brother and her joy at meeting him。
Afterwards he saw her lower lip quiver with indignation at her
brother's insolent； cruel and ungrateful words… and his fate was
sealed。
He had spoken the truth； moreover； when he blurted out in his
drunken talk on the stairs that Praskovya Pavlovna； Raskolnikov's
eccentric landlady； would be jealous of Pulcheria Alexandrovna as well
as of Avdotya Romanovna on his account。 Although Pulcheria
Alexandrovna was forty…three； her face still retained traces of her
former beauty； she looked much younger than her age； indeed； which
is almost always the case with women who retain serenity of spirit；
sensitiveness and pure sincere warmth of heart to old age。 We may
add in parenthesis that to preserve all this is the only means of
retaining beauty to old age。 Her hair had begun to grow grey and thin；
there had long been little crow's foot wrinkles round her eyes； her
cheeks were hollow and sunken from anxiety and grief； and yet it was a
handsome face。 She was Dounia over again； twenty years older； but
without the projecting underlip。 Pulcheria Alexandrovna was emotional；
but not sentimental； timid and yielding； but only to a certain
point。 She could give way and accept a great deal even of what was
contrary to her convictions； but there was a certain barrier fixed
by honesty； principle and the deepest convictions which nothing
would induce her to cross。
Exactly twenty minutes after Razumihin's departure； there came two
subdued but hurried knocks at the door： he had come ba
