crime and punishment(罪与罚)-第5章
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landlady。 'And why not？' said Katerina Ivanovna with a jeer； 'you
are something mighty precious to be so careful of！' But don't blame
her； don't blame her； honoured sir； don't blame her！ She was not
herself when she spoke； but driven to distraction by her illness and
the crying of the hungry children； and it was said more to wound her
than anything else。。。。 For that's Katerina Ivanovna's character； and
when children cry； even from hunger； she falls to beating them at
once。 At six o'clock I saw Sonia get up； put on her kerchief and her
cape； and go out of the room and about nine o'clock she came back。 She
walked straight up to Katerina Ivanovna and she laid thirty roubles on
the table before her in silence。 She did not utter a word； she did not
even look at her； she simply picked up our big green drap de dames
shawl （we have a shawl； made of drap de dames）； put it over her head
and face and lay down on the bed with her face to the wall； only her
little shoulders and her body kept shuddering。。。。 And I went on
lying there； just as before。。。。 And then I saw； young man； I saw
Katerina Ivanovna； in the same silence go up to Sonia's little bed；
she was on her knees all the evening kissing Sonia's feet； and would
not get up； and then they both fell asleep in each other's arms。。。
together； together。。。 yes。。。 and I。。。 lay drunk。〃
Marmeladov stopped short； as though his voice had failed him。 Then
he hurriedly filled his glass； drank； and cleared his throat。
〃Since then； sir；〃 he went on after a brief pause… 〃Since then；
owing to an unfortunate occurrence and through information given by
evil…intentioned persons… in all which Darya Frantsovna took a leading
part on the pretext that she had been treated with want of respect…
since then my daughter Sofya Semyonovna has been forced to take a
yellow ticket； and owing to that she is unable to go on living with
us。 For our landlady； Amalia Fyodorovna would not hear of it （though
she had backed up Darya Frantsovna before） and Mr。 Lebeziatnikov
too。。。 hm。。。。 All the trouble between him and Katerina Ivanovna was on
Sonia's account。 At first he was for making up to Sonia himself and
then all of a sudden he stood on his dignity： 'how；' said he； 'can a
highly educated man like me live in the same rooms with a girl like
that？' And Katerina Ivanovna would not let it pass； she stood up for
her。。。 and so that's how it happened。 And Sonia comes to us now；
mostly after dark； she comforts Katerina Ivanovna and gives her all
she can。。。。 She has a room at the Kapernaumovs； the tailors； she
lodges with them； Kapernaumov is a lame man with a cleft palate and
all of his numerous family have cleft palates too。 And his wife；
too； has a cleft palate。 They all live in one room； but Sonia has
her own； partitioned off。。。。 Hm。。。 yes。。。 very poor people and all
with cleft palates。。。 yes。 Then I got up in the morning； and put on my
rags； lifted up my hands to heaven and set off to his excellency
Ivan Afanasyevitch。 His excellency Ivan Afanasyevitch； do you know
him？ No？ Well； then； it's a man of God you don't know。 He is wax。。。
wax before the face of the Lord； even as wax melteth！。。。 His eyes were
dim when he heard my story。 'Marmeladov； once already you have
deceived my expectations。。。 I'll take you once more on my own
responsibility'… that's what he said； 'remember；' he said； 'and now
you can go。' I kissed the dust at his feet… in thought only； for in
reality he would not have allowed me to do it； being a statesman and a
man of modern political and enlightened ideas。 I returned home； and
when I announced that I'd been taken back into the service and
should receive a salary； heavens； what a to…do there was。。。！〃
Marmeladov stopped again in violent excitement。 At that moment a
whole party of revellers already drunk came in from the street； and
the sounds of a hired concertina and the cracked piping voice of a
child of seven singing 〃The Hamlet〃 were heard in the entry。 The
room was filled with noise。 The tavern…keeper and the boys were busy
with the new…comers。 Marmeladov paying no attention to the new
arrivals continued his story。 He appeared by now to be extremely weak；
but as he became more and more drunk； he became more and more
talkative。 The recollection of his recent success in getting the
situation seemed to revive him； and was positively reflected in a sort
of radiance on his face。 Raskolnikov listened attentively。
〃That was five weeks ago； sir。 Yes。。。。 As soon as Katerina
Ivanovna and Sonia heard of it； mercy on us； it was as though I
stepped into the kingdom of Heaven。 It used to be： you can lie like
a beast； nothing but abuse。 Now they were walking on tiptoe； hushing
the children。 'Semyon Zaharovitch is tired with his work at the
office； he is resting； shh！' They made me coffee before I went to work
and boiled cream for me！ They began to get real cream for me； do you
hear that？ And how they managed to get together the money for a decent
outfit… eleven roubles； fifty copecks； I can't guess。 Boots； cotton
shirt…fronts… most magnificent； a uniform； they got up all in splendid
style； for eleven roubles and a half。 The first morning I came back
from the office I found Katerina Ivanovna had cooked two courses for
dinner… soup and salt meat with horse radish… which we had never
dreamed of till then。 She had not any dresses。。。 none at all； but
she got herself up as though she were going on a visit； and not that
she'd anything to do it with； she smartened herself up with nothing at
all； she'd done her hair nicely； put on a clean collar of some sort；
cuffs； and there she was； quite a different person； she was younger
and better looking。 Sonia； my little darling； had only helped with
money 'for the time；' she said； 'it won't do for me to come and see
you too often。 After dark maybe when no one can see。' Do you hear；
do you hear？ I lay down for a nap after dinner and what do you
think： though Katerina Ivanovna had quarrelled to the last degree with
our landlady Amalia Fyodorovna only a week before； she could not
resist then asking her in to coffee。 For two hours they were
sitting； whispering together。 'Semyon Zaharovitch is in the service
again； now； and receiving a salary；' says she； 'and he went himself to
his excellency and his excellency himself came out to him； made all
the others wait and led Semyon Zaharovitch by the hand before
everybody into his study。' Do you hear； do you hear？ 'To be sure；'
says he； 'Semyon Zaharovitch； remembering your past services；' says
he； 'and in spite of your propensity to that foolish weakness； since
you promise now and since moreover we've got on badly without you；'
（do you hear； do you hear；） 'and so；' says he； 'I rely now on your
word as a gentleman。' And all that； let me tell you； she has simply
made up for herself； and not simply out of wantonness； for the sake of
bragging； no； she believes it all herself； she amuses herself with her
own fancies； upon my word she does！ And I don't blame her for it；
no； I don't blame her！。。。 Six days ago when I brought her my first
earnings in full… twenty…three roubles forty copecks altogether… she
called me her poppet： 'poppet；' said she； 'my little poppet。' And when
we were by ourselves； you understand？ You would not think me a beauty；
you would not think much of me as a husband； would you？。。。 Well； she
pinched my cheek 'my little poppet；' said she。〃
Marmeladov broke off； tried to smile； but suddenly his chin began to
twitch。 He controlled himself however。 The tavern； the degraded
appearance of the man； the five nights in the hay barge； and the pot
of spirits； and yet this poignant love for his wife and children
bewildered his listener。 Raskolnikov listened intently but with a sick
sensation。 He felt vexed that he had come here。
〃Honoured sir； honoured sir；〃 cried Marmeladov recovering himself…
〃Oh； sir； perhaps all this seems a laughing matter to you； as it
does to others； and perhaps I am only worrying you with the
stupidity of all the trivial details of my home life； but it is not
a laughing matter to me。 For I can feel it all。。。。 And the whole of
that heavenly day of my life and the whole of that evening I passed in
fleeting dreams of how I would arrange it all； and how I would dress
all the children； and how I should give her rest； and how I should
rescue my own daughter from dishonour and restore her to the bosom
of her family。。。。 And a great deal more。。。。 Quite excusable； sir。
Well； then； sir （Marmeladov suddenly gave a sort of start； raised
his head and gazed intently at his listener） well； on the very next
day after all those dreams； that is to say； exactly five days ago；
in the evening； by a cunning trick； like a thief in the night； I stole
from Katerina Ivanovna the key of her box； took out what was left of
my earnings； how much it was I have forgotten； and now look at me； all
of you！ It's the fifth day since I left home； and they are looking for
me there and it's the end of my employment； and my uniform is lying in
a tavern on the Egyptian bridge。 I exchanged it for the garments I
have on。。。 and it's the end of everything！〃
Marmeladov struck his forehead with his fist； clenched his teeth；
closed his eyes and leaned heavily with his elbow on the table。 But
a minute later his face suddenly changed and with a certain assumed
slyness and affectation of bravado； he glanced at Raskolnikov； laughed
and said：
〃This morning I went to see Sonia； I went to ask her for a
pick…me…up！ He…he…he！〃
〃You don't say she gave it to you？〃 cried one of the new…comers；
he shouted the words and went off into a guffaw。
〃This very quart was bought with her money；〃 Marmela
