part 6-第14章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！

















in　the　Park　to…morrow　afternoon；　on　the　reservoir　path；



between　four　and　five；　if　you　care　to　join　me。　　You　know



that　after　Harsanyi　I'd　rather　please　you　than　anyone　else。



You　know　a　lot；　but　he　knows　even　more　than　you。〃







　　　　　〃Thank　you。　　Don't　try　to　analyze　it。　　SCHLAFEN　SIE



WOHL！〃　he　kissed　her　fingers　and　waved　from　the　door；



closing　it　behind　him。







　　　　　〃He's　the　right　sort；　Thea。〃　　Dr。　Archie　looked　warmly



after　his　disappearing　friend。　　〃I've　always　hoped　you'd



make　it　up　with　Fred。〃







　　　　　〃Well；　haven't　I？　　Oh；　marry　him；　you　mean！　　Perhaps



it　may　come　about；　some　day。　　Just　at　present　he's　not



in　the　marriage　market　any　more　than　I　am；　is　he？〃







　　　　　〃No；　I　suppose　not。　　It's　a　damned　shame　that　a　man



like　Ottenburg　should　be　tied　up　as　he　is；　wasting　all　the



best　years　of　his　life。　　A　woman　with　general　paresis　ought



to　be　legally　dead。〃







　　　　　〃Don't　let　us　talk　about　Fred's　wife；　please。　　He　had　no



business　to　get　into　such　a　mess；　and　he　had　no　business　to



stay　in　it。　　He's　always　been　a　softy　where　women　were



concerned。〃







　　　　　〃Most　of　us　are；　I'm　afraid；〃　Dr。　Archie　admitted



meekly。







　　　　　〃Too　much　light　in　here；　isn't　there？　　Tires　one's　eyes。



The　stage　lights　are　hard　on　mine。〃　　Thea　began　turning



them　out。　　〃We'll　leave　the　little　one；　over　the　piano。〃



She　sank　down　by　Archie　on　the　deep　sofa。　　〃We　two　have



so　much　to　talk　about　that　we　keep　away　from　it　altogether；



have　you　noticed？　　We　don't　even　nibble　the　edges。　　I　wish



we　had　Landry　here　to…night　to　play　for　us。　　He's　very



comforting。〃







　　　　　〃I'm　afraid　you　don't　have　enough　personal　life；　outside



your　work；　Thea。〃　　The　doctor　looked　at　her　anxiously。







　　　　　She　smiled　at　him　with　her　eyes　half　closed。　　〃My　dear



doctor；　I　don't　have　any。　　Your　work　becomes　your　per…



sonal　life。　　You　are　not　much　good　until　it　does。　　It's　like















being　woven　into　a　big　web。　　You　can't　pull　away；　because



all　your　little　tendrils　are　woven　into　the　picture。　　It　takes



you　up；　and　uses　you；　and　spins　you　out；　and　that　is　your



life。　　Not　much　else　can　happen　to　you。〃







　　　　　〃Didn't　you　think　of　marrying；　several　years　ago？〃







　　　　　〃You　mean　Nordquist？　　Yes；　but　I　changed　my　mind。



We　had　been　singing　a　good　deal　together。　　He's　a　splendid



creature。〃







　　　　　〃Were　you　much　in　love　with　him；　Thea？〃　the　doctor



asked　hopefully。







　　　　　She　smiled　again。　　〃I　don't　think　I　know　just　what　that



expression　means。　　I've　never　been　able　to　find　out。　　I



think　I　was　in　love　with　you　when　I　was　little；　but　not



with　any　one　since　then。　　There　are　a　great　many　ways　of



caring　for　people。　　It's　not；　after　all；　a　simple　state；　like



measles　or　tonsilitis。　　Nordquist　is　a　taking　sort　of　man。



He　and　I　were　out　in　a　rowboat　once　in　a　terrible　storm。



The　lake　was　fed　by　glaciers；ice　water；and　we



couldn't　have　swum　a　stroke　if　the　boat　had　filled。　　If　we



hadn't　both　been　strong　and　kept　our　heads；　we'd　have



gone　down。　　We　pulled　for　every　ounce　there　was　in　us；



and　we　just　got　off　with　our　lives。　　We　were　always　being



thrown　together　like　that；　under　some　kind　of　pressure。



Yes；　for　a　while　I　thought　he　would　make　everything



right。〃　　She　paused　and　sank　back；　resting　her　head　on　a



cushion；　pressing　her　eyelids　down　with　her　fingers。　　〃You



see；〃　she　went　on　abruptly；　〃he　had　a　wife　and　two　chil…



dren。　　He　hadn't　lived　with　her　for　several　years；　but



when　she　heard　that　he　wanted　to　marry　again；　she　began



to　make　trouble。　　He　earned　a　good　deal　of　money；　but　he



was　careless　and　always　wretchedly　in　debt。　　He　came　to



me　one　day　and　told　me　he　thought　his　wife　would　settle



for　a　hundred　thousand　marks　and　consent　to　a　divorce。



I　got　very　angry　and　sent　him　away。　　Next　day　he　came



back　and　said　he　thought　she'd　take　fifty　thousand。〃







　　　　　Dr。　Archie　drew　away　from　her；　to　the　end　of　the　sofa。



















　　　　　〃Good　God；　Thea；〃　　He　ran　his　handkerchief　over　his



forehead。　　〃What　sort　of　people〃　　He　stopped　and　shook



his　head。







　　　　　Thea　rose　and　stood　beside　him；　her　hand　on　his　shoul…



der。　　〃That's　exactly　how　it　struck　me；〃　she　said　quietly。



〃Oh；　we　have　things　in　common；　things　that　go　away　back；



under　everything。　　You　understand；　of　course。　　Nordquist



didn't。　　He　thought　I　wasn't　willing　to　part　with　the



money。　　I　couldn't　let　myself　buy　him　from　Fru　Nord…



quist；　and　he　couldn't　see　why。　　He　had　always　thought　I



was　close　about　money；　so　he　attributed　it　to　that。　　I　am



careful；〃she　ran　her　arm　through　Archie's　and　when



he　rose　began　to　walk　about　the　room　with　him。　　〃I



can't　be　careless　with　money。　　I　began　the　world　on　six



hundred　dollars；　and　it　was　the　price　of　a　man's　life。　　Ray



Kennedy　had　worked　hard　and　been　sober　and　denied　him…



self；　and　when　he　died　he　had　six　hundred　dollars　to　show



for　it。　　I　always　measure　things　by　that　six　hundred　dol…



lars；　just　as　I　measure　high　buildings　by　the　Moonstone



standpipe。　　There　are　standards　we　can't　get　away　from。〃







　　　　　Dr。　Archie　took　her　hand。　　〃I　don't　believe　we　should



be　any　happier　if　we　did　get　away　from　them。　　I　think　it



gives　you　some　of　your　poise；　having　that　anchor。　　You



look；〃　glancing　down　at　her　head　and　shoulders；　〃some…



times　so　like　your　mother。〃







　　　　　〃Thank　you。　　You　couldn't　say　anything　nicer　to　me



than　that。　　On　Friday　afternoon；　didn't　you　think？〃







　　　　　〃Yes；　but　at　other　times；　too。　　I　love　to　see　it。　　Do　you



know　what　I　thought　about　that　first　night　when　I　heard



you　sing？　　I　kept　remembering　the　night　I　took　care　of　you



when　you　had　pneumonia；　when　you　were　ten　years　old。



You　were　a　terribly　sick　child；　and　I　was　a　country　doctor



without　much　experience。　　There　were　no　oxygen　tanks



about　then。　　You　pretty　nearly　slipped　away　from　me。



If　you　had〃







　　　　　Thea　dropped　her　head　on　his　shoulder。　　〃I'd　have















saved　myself　and　you　a　lot　of　trouble；　wouldn't　I？　　Dear



Dr。　Archie！〃　she　murmured。







　　　　　〃As　for　me；　life　would　have　been　a　pretty　bleak　stretch；



with　you　left　out。〃　　The　doctor　took　one　of　the　crystal



pendants　that　hung　from　her　shoulder　and　looked　into　it



thoughtfully。　　〃I　guess　I'm　a　romantic　old　fellow；　under…



neath。　　And　you've　always　been　my　romance。　　Those



years　when　you　were　growing　up　were　my　happiest。　　When



I　dream　about　you；　I　always　see　you　as　a　little　girl。〃







　　　　　They　paused　by　the　open　window。　　〃Do　you？　　Nearly



all　my　dreams；　except　those　about　breaking　down　on　the



stage　or　missing　trains；　are　about　Moonstone。　　You　tell



me　the　old　house　has　been　pulled　down；　but　it　stands　in



my　mind；　every　stick　and　timber。　　In　my　sleep　I　go　all



about　it；　and　look　in　the　right　drawers　and　cupboards　for



everything。　　I　often　dream　that　I'm　hunting　for　my　rub…



bers　in　that　pile　of　overshoes　that　was　always　under　the



hatrack　in　the　hall。　　I　pick　up　every　overshoe　and　know



whose　it　is；　but　I　can't　find　my　own。　　Then　the　school　bell



begins　to　ring　and　I　begin　to　cry。　　That's　the　house　I　rest



in　when　I'm　tired。　　All　the　old　furniture　and　the　worn



spots　in　the　carpetit　rests　my　mind　to　go　over　them。〃







　　　　　They　were　looking　out　of　the　window。　　Thea　kept　his



arm。　　Down　on　the　river　four　battleships　were　anchored　in



line；　brilliantly　lighted；　and　launches　were　coming　and



going；　bringing　the　men　ashore。　　A　searchlight　from　one



of　the　ironclads　was　playing　on　the　great　headland　up　the



river；　where　it　makes　its　first　resolute　turn。　　Overhead　the



night…blue　sky　was　intense　and　clear。







　　　　　〃There's　so　much　that　I　want　to　tell　you；〃　she　said　at



last；　〃and　it's　hard　to　explain。　　My　life　is　full　of　jealousies



and　disappointments；　you　know。　　You　get　to　hating　people



who　do　contemptible　work　and　who　get　on　just　as　well　as　you



do。　　There　are　many　disappointments　in　my　profession；　and



bitter；　bitter　contempts！〃　　Her　face　hardened；　and　looked



much　older。　　〃If　you　love　the　good　thing　vitally；　enough　to















give　up　for　it　all　that　one　must　give　up　for　it；　then　you



must　hate　the　cheap　thing　just　as　hard。　　I　tell　you；　there



is　such　a　thing　as　creative　hate！　　A　contempt　that　drives



you　through　fire；　makes　you　risk　everything　and　lose



everything；　makes　you　a　long　sight　better　than　you　ever



knew　you　could　be。〃　　As　she　glanced　at　Dr。　Archie's　face；



Thea　stopped　short　and　turned　her　own　face　away。　　Her



eyes　followed　the　path　of　the　searchlight　up　the　river　and



rested　upon　the　illumined　headland。







　　　　　〃You　see；〃　she　went　on　more　calmly；　〃voices　are　acci…



dental　things。　　You　find　plenty　of　good　voices　in　common



women；　with　common　minds　and　common　hearts。　　Look



at　that　woman　who　sang　ORTRUDE　with　me　last　week。　　She's



new　here　and　the　people　are　wild　about　her。　　‘Such　a　beau…



tiful　volume　of　tone！'　they　say。　　I　give　you　my　word　she's



as　stupid　as　an　owl　and　as　coarse　as　a　pig；　and　any　one



who　knows　anything　about　singing　would　see　that　in　an



instant。　　Yet　she's　quite　as　popular　as　Necker；　who's　a



great　artist。　　How　can　I　get　much　satisfaction　out　of　the



enthusiasm　of　a　house　that　likes　her　atrociously　bad　per…



formance　at　the　same　time　that　it　pretends　to　like　mine？



If　they　like　her；　then　they　ought　to　hiss　me　off　the　stage。



We　stand　for　things　that　are　irreconcilable；　absolutely。



You　can't　try　to　do　things　right　and　not　despise　the　peo…



ple　who　do　them　wrong。　　How　can　I　be　indifferent？　　If



that　doesn't　matter；　then　nothing　matters。　　Well；　some…



times　I've　come　home　as　I　did　the　other　night　when　you



first　saw　me；　so　full　of　bitterness　that　it　was　as　if　my　mind



were　full　of　daggers。　　And　I've　gone　to　sleep　and　wakened



up　in　the　Kohlers'　garden；　with　the　pigeons　and　the　white



rabbits；　so　happy！　　And　that　saves　me。〃　　She　sat　down



on　the　piano　bench。　　Archie　thought　she　had　forgotten　all



about　him；　until　she　called　his　name。　　Her　voice　was　soft



now；　and　wonderfully　sweet。　　It　seemed　to　come　from　some…



where　deep　within　her；　there　were　such　strong　vibrations



in　it。　　〃You　see；　Dr。　Archie；　what　one　really　strives　for　in















art　i