the pursuit of the house-boat-第14章

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；　the　romance　which　clung　about　its　walls　is　as　much　a　part　of　the　dead　past　as　yourselves；　and　were　you　to　materialize　suddenly　therein　you　would　find　yourselves　jostled　and　hustled　and　trodden　upon　by　the　curious　from　other　lands；　with　Argus　eyes　taking　in　five　hundred　pictures　a　minute；　and　traversing　those　halls　at　a　rate　of　speed　at　which　Mercury　himself　would　stand　aghast。〃

〃But　my　beloved　Tuileries？〃　cried　Marie　Antoinette。

〃Has　been　swallowed　up　by　a　play…ground　for　the　people；　my　dear；〃　said　Cassandra；　gently。　　〃Paris　is　no　place　for　us；　and　it　is　the　intention　of　these　men；　in　whose　hands　we　are；　to　take　us　there　and　then　desert　us。　　Can　you　imagine　anything　worse　than　ourselves；　the　phantoms　of　a　glorious　romantic　past；　basely　deserted　in　the　streets　of　a　wholly　strange；　superficial；　material　city　of　to…day？　　What　do　you　think；　Elizabeth；　would　be　your　fate　if；　faint　and　famished；　you　begged　for　sustenance　at　an　English　door　to…day；　and　when　asked　your　name　and　profession　were　to　reply；　'Elizabeth；　Queen　of　England'？〃

〃Insane　asylum；〃　said　Elizabeth；　shortly。

〃Precisely。　　So　in　Paris　with　the　rest　of　us；〃　said　Cassandra。

〃How　do　you　know　all　this？〃　asked　Trilby；　still　unconvinced。

〃I　know　it　just　as　you　knew　how　to　become　a　prima　donna；〃　said　Cassandra。　　〃I　am；　however；　my　own　Svengali；　which　is　rather　preferable　to　the　patent　detachable　hypnotizer　you　had。　　I　hypnotize　myself；　and　direct　my　mind　into　the　future。　　I　was　a　professional　forecaster　in　the　days　of　ancient　Troy；　and　if　my　revelations　had　been　heeded　the　Priam　family　would；　I　doubt　not；　still　be　doing　business　at　the　old　stand；　and　Mr。　AEneas　would　not　have　grown　round…　shouldered　giving　his　poor　father　a　picky…back　ride　on　the　opening　night　of　the　horse…show；　so　graphically　depicted　by　Virgil。〃

〃I　never　heard　about　that；〃　said　Trilby。　　〃It　sounds　like　a　very　funny　story；　though。〃

〃Well；　it　wasn't　so　humorous　for　some　as　it　was　for　others；〃　said　Cassandra；　with　a　sly　glance　at　Helen。　　〃The　fact　is；　until　you　mentioned　it　yourself；　it　never　occurred　to　me　that　there　was　much　fun　in　any　portion　of　the　Trojan　incident；　excepting　perhaps　the　delirium　tremens　of　old　Laocoon；　who　got　no　more　than　he　deserved　for　stealing　my　thunder。　　I　had　warned　Troy　against　the　Greeks；　and　they　all　laughed　at　me；　and　said　my　eye　to　the　future　was　strabismatic；　that　the　Greeks　couldn't　get　into　Troy　at　all；　even　if　they　wanted　to。　　And　then　the　Greeks　made　a　great　wooden　horse　as　a　gift　for　the　Trojans；　and　when　I　turned　my　X…ray　gaze　upon　it　I　saw　that　it　contained　about　six　brigades　of　infantry；　three　artillery　regiments；　and　sharp…shooters　by　the　score。　　It　was　a　sort　of　military　Noah's　Ark；　but　I　knew　that　the　prejudice　against　me　was　so　strong　that　nobody　would　believe　what　I　told　them。　　So　I　said　nothing。　　My　prophecies　never　came　true；　they　said；　failing　to　observe　that　my　warning　as　to　what　would　be　was　in　itself　the　cause　of　their　non…　fulfilment。　　But　desiring　to　save　Troy；　I　sent　for　Laocoon　and　told　him　all　about　it；　and　he　went　out　and　announced　it　as　his　own　private　prophecy；　and　then；　having　tried　to　drown　his　conscience　in　strong　waters；　he　fell　a　victim　to　the　usual　serpentine　hallucination；　and　everybody　said　he　wasn't　sober；　and　therefore　unworthy　of　belief。　The　horse　was　accepted；　hauled　into　the　city；　and　that　night　orders　came　from　hindquarters　to　the　regiments　concealed　inside　to　march。　They　marched；　and　next　morning　Troy　had　been　removed　from　the　map；　ninety　per　cent　of　the　Trojans　died　suddenly；　and　AEneas；　grabbing　up　his　family　in　one　hand　and　his　gods　in　the　other；　went　yachting　for　several　seasons；　ultimately　settling　down　in　Italy。　　All　of　this　could　have　been　avoided　if　the　Trojans　would　have　taken　the　hint　from　my　prophecies。　　They　preferred；　however；　not　to　do　it；　with　the　result　that　to…day　no　one　but　Helen　and　myself　knows　even　where　Troy　was；　and　we'll　never　tell。〃

〃It　is　all　true；〃　said　Helen；　proudly。　　〃I　was　the　woman　who　was　at　the　bottom　of　it　all；　and　I　can　testify　that　Cassandra　always　told　the　truth；　which　is　why　she　was　always　so　unpopular。　　When　anything　that　was　unpleasant　happened；　after　it　was　all　over　she　would　turn　and　say；　sweetly；　'I　told　you　so。'　　She　was　the　original　'I　told　you　so'　nuisance；　and　of　course　she　had　the　newspapyruses　down　on　her；　because　she　never　left　them　any　sensation　to　spring　upon　the　public。　If　she　had　only　told　a　fib　once　in　a　while；　the　public　would　have　had　more　confidence　in　her。〃

〃Thank　you　for　your　endorsement；〃　said　Cassandra；　with　a　nod　at　Helen。　　〃With　such　testimony　I　cannot　see　how　you　can　refrain　from　taking　my　advice　in　this　matter；　and　I　tell　you；　ladies；　that　this　man　Kidd　has　made　his　story　up　out　of　whole　cloth；　the　men　of　Hades　had　no　more　to　do　with　our　being　here　than　we　had；　they　were　as　much　surprised　as　we　are　to　find　us　gone。　　Kidd　himself　was　not　aware　of　our　presence；　and　his　object　in　taking　us　to　Paris　is　to　leave　us　stranded　there；　disembodied　spirits；　vagrant　souls　with　no　familiar　haunts　to　haunt；　no　place　to　rest；　and　nothing　before　us　save　perpetual　exile　in　a　world　that　would　have　no　sympathy　for　us　in　our　misfortune；　and　no　belief　in　our　continued　existence。〃

〃But　what；　then；　shall　we　do？〃　cried　Ophelia；　wringing　her　hands　in　despair。

〃It　is　a　terrible　problem；〃　said　Cleopatra；　anxiously；　〃and　yet　it　does　seem　as　if　our　woman's　instinct　ought　to　show　us　some　way　out　of　our　trouble。〃

〃The　Committee　on　Treachery；〃　said　Delilah；　〃has　already　suggested　a　chafing…dish　party；　with　Lucretia　Borgia　in　charge　of　the　lobster　Newberg。〃

〃That　is　true；〃　said　Lucretia；　〃but　I　find；　in　going　through　my　reticule；　that　my　maid；　for　some　reason　unknown　to　me；　has　failed　to　renew　my　supply　of　poisons。　　I　shall　discharge　her　on　my　return　home；　for　she　knows　that　I　never　go　anywhere　without　them；　but　that　does　not　help　matters　at　this　juncture。　　The　sad　fact　remains　that　I　could　prepare　a　thousand　delicacies　for　these　pirates　without　fatal　results。〃

〃You　mean　immediately　fatal；　do　you　not？〃　suggested　Xanthippe。　　〃I　could　myself　prepare　a　cake　which　would　in　time　reduce　our　captors　to　a　state　of　absolute　dependence；　but　of　course　the　effect　is　not　immediate。〃

〃We　might　give　a　musicale；　and　let　Trilby　sing　'Ben　Bolt'　to　them；〃　suggested　Marguerite　de　Valois；　with　a　giggle。

〃Don't　be　flippant；　please；〃　said　Portia。　　〃We　haven't　time　to　waste　on　flippant　suggestions。　　Perhaps　a　court…martial　of　these　pirates；　supplemented　by　a　yard…arm；　wouldn't　be　a　bad　thing。　　I'll　prosecute　the　case。〃

〃You　forget　that　you　are　dealing　with　immortal　spirits；〃　observed　Cleopatra。　　〃If　these　creatures　were　mortals；　hanging　them　would　be　all　right；　and　comparatively　easy；　considering　that　we　outnumber　them　ten　to　one；　and　have　many　resources　for　getting　them；　more　or　less；　in　our　power；　but　they　are　not。　　They　have　gone　through　the　refining　process　of　dissolution　once；　and　there's　an　end　to　that。　　Our　only　resource　is　in　the　line　of　deception；　and　if　we　cannot　deceive　them；　then　we　have　ceased　to　be　women。〃

〃That　is　truly　said；〃　observed　Elizabeth。　　〃And　inasmuch　as　we　have　already　provided　ourselves　with　a　suitable　committee　for　the　preparation　of　our　plans　of　a　deceptive　nature；　I　move；　as　the　easiest　possible　solution　of　the　difficulty　for　the　rest　of　us；　that　the　Committee　on　Treachery　be　requested　to　go　at　once　into　executive　session；　with　orders　not　to　come　out　of　it　until　they　have　suggested　a　plausible　plan　of　campaign　against　our　abductors。　　We　must　be　rid　of　them。　　Let　the　Committee　on　Treachery　say　how。〃

〃Second　the　motion；〃　said　Mrs。　Noah。　　〃You　are　a　very　clear…headed　young　woman；　Lizzie；　and　your　grandmother　is　proud　of　you。〃

The　Committee　on　Treachery　were　about　to　protest；　but　the　chair　refused　to　entertain　any　debate　upon　the　question；　which　was　put　and　carried　with　a　storm　of　approval。

Five　minutes　later　a　note　was　handed　through　the　port；　addressed　to　Cleopatra；　which　read　as　follows：


〃Dear　Madame；Six　bells　has　just　struck；　and　the　officers　and　crew　are　hungry。　　Will　you　and　your　fair　companions　co…operate　with　us　in　our　enterprise　by　having　a　hearty　dinner　ready　within　two　hours？　　A　speck　has　appeared　on　the　horizon　which　betokens　a　coming　storm；　else　we　would　prepare　our　supper　ourselves。　　As　it　is；　we　feel　that　your　safety　depends　on　our　remaining　on　deck。　　If　there　is　any　beer　on　the　ice；　we　prefer　it　to　tea。　　Two　cases　will　suffice。

〃Yours　respectfully；

〃HENRY　MORGAN；　Bart。；　First　Mate。〃


〃Hurrah！〃　cried　Cleopatra；　as　she　read　this　communication。　　〃I　have　an　idea。　　Tell　the　Committee　on　Treachery　to　appear　before　the　full　meeting　at　once。〃

The　committee　was　summoned；　and　Cleopatra　announced　her　plan　of　operation；　and　it　was　unanimously　adopted；　but　what　it　was　we　shall　have　to　wait　for　another　chapter　to　learn。



CHAPTER　XI：　　MAROONED



When　Captain　Holmes　arrived　upon　deck　he　seized　his　glass；　and；　gazing　intently　through　it　for　a　moment；　perceived　that　the　faithful　Shem　had　not　deceived　him。　　Flying　at　half…mast　from　a　rude；　roughly　hewn　pole　set　upon　a　rocky　height　was　the　black　flag；　emblem　of　piracy；　and；　as　Artemus　Ward　put　it；　〃with　the　second　joints　reversed。〃　　It　was　in　very　truth　a　signal　of　distress。

〃I　make　it　a　point　never　to　be　surprised；〃　observed　Holmes；　as　he　peered　through　the　glass；　〃but　this　beats　me。　　I　didn't　know　there　was　an　island　of　this　nature　in　these　latitudes。　　Blackstone；　go　below　and　pipe　Captain　Cook　on　deck。　　Perhaps　he　knows　what　island　that　is。〃

〃You'll　have　to　excuse　me；　Captain　Holmes；〃　replied　the　Judge。　　〃I　didn't　ship　on　this　voyage　as　a　cabin…boy　or　a　messenger…boy。　Therefore　I〃

〃Bonaparte；　put　the　Judge　in　irons；〃　interrupted　Holmes；　sternly。　　〃I　expect　to　be　obeyed；　Judge　Blackstone；　whether　you　shipped　as　a　Lord　Chief…Justice　or　a　state…room　steward。　　When　I　issue　an　order　it　must　be　obeyed。　　Step　lively　there；　Bonaparte。　　Get　his　honor　ironed　and　summon　your　marines。　　We　may　have　work　to　do　before　night。　　Hamlet；　pipe　Captain　Cook　on　deck。〃

〃Aye；　aye；　sir；〃　replied　Hamlet；　with　alacrity；　as　he　made　off。

〃That's　the　way　to　obey　orders；〃　said　Holmes；　with　a　scornful　glance　at　Blackstone。

〃I　was　only　jesting；　Captain；〃　said　the　latter；　paling　somewhat。

〃That's　all　right；〃　said　Holmes；　taking　up　his　glass　again。　　〃So　was　I　when　I　ordered　you　in　irons；　and　in　order　that　you　may　appreciate　the　full　force　of　the　joke　I　repeat　it。　　Bonaparte；　do　your　duty。〃

In　an　instant　the　order　was　obeyed；　and　the　unhappy　Judge　shortly　found　himself　manacled　and　alone　in　the　forecastle。　　Meanwhile　Captain　Cook；　in　response　to　the　commander's　order；　repaired　to　the　deck　and　scanned　the　distant　coast。

〃I　can't　place　it；〃　he　said。　　〃It　can't　be　Monte　Cristo；　can　it？〃

〃No；　it　can't；〃　said　the　Count；　who　stood　hard　by。　　〃My　island　was　in　the　Mediterranean；　and　even　if　it　dragged　anchor　it　couldn't　have　got　out　through　the　Strait　of　Gibraltar。〃

〃Perhaps　it's　Robinson　Crusoe's　island；〃　suggested　Doctor　Johnson。

〃Not　it；〃　observed　De　Foe。　　〃If　it　is；　the　rest　of　you　will　please　keep　off。　　It's　mine；　and　I　may　want　to　use　it　again。　　I've　been　having　a　number　of　interviews　with　Crusoe　latterly；　and　he's　given　me　a　lot　of　new　points；　which　I　intend　incorporating　in　a