the pursuit of the house-boat-第7章

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ime　for　divisions　in　our　councils。　　An　entirely　unexpected　element　has　entered　into　our　affairs；　and　it　behooveth　us　to　act　in　concert。　　It　is　no　light　matter〃

〃Excuse　me；　captain；〃　said　Abeuchapeta；　〃but　that　is　where　you　and　I　do　not　agree。　　We've　got　our　ship　and　we've　got　our　crew；　and　in　addition　we　find　that　the　Fates　have　thrown　in　a　hundred　or　more　women　to　act　as　ballast。　　Now　I；　for　one；　do　not　fear　a　woman。　　We　can　set　them　to　work。　　There　is　plenty　for　them　to　do　keeping　things　tidy；　and　if　we　get　into　a　very　hard　fight；　and　come　out　of　the　melee　somewhat　the　worse　for　wear；　it　will　be　a　blessing　to　have　'em　along　to　mend　our　togas；　sew　buttons　on　our　uniforms；　and　darn　our　hosiery。〃

Morgan　laughed　sarcastically。　　〃When　did　you　flourish；　if　ever；　colonel？〃　he　asked。

〃Do　you　refer　to　me？〃　queried　Abeuchapeta；　with　a　frown。

〃You　have　guessed　correctly；〃　replied　Morgan；　icily。　　〃I　have　quite　forgotten　your　date；　were　you　a　success　in　the　year　one；　or　when？〃

〃Admiral　Abeuchapeta；　Sir　Henry；〃　interposed　Kidd；　fearing　a　further　outbreak　of　hostilities〃Admiral　Abeuchapeta　was　the　terror　of　the　seas　in　the　seventh　century；　and　what　he　undertook　to　do　he　did；　and　his　piratical　enterprises　were　carried　on　on　a　scale　of　magnificence　which　is　without　parallel　off　the　comic…opera　stage。　　He　never　went　forth　without　at　least　seventy　galleys　and　a　hundred　other　vessels。〃

Abeuchapeta　drew　himself　up　proudly。　　〃Six…ninety…eight　was　my　great　year；〃　he　said。

〃That's　what　I　thought；〃　said　Morgan。　　〃That　is　to　say；　you　got　your　ideas　of　women　twelve　hundred　years　ago；　and　the　ladies　have　changed　somewhat　since　that　time。　　I　have　great　respect　for　you；　sir；　as　a　ruffian。　　I　have　no　doubt　that　as　a　ruffian　you　are　a　complete　success；　but　when　it　comes　to　'feminology'　you　are　sailing　in　unknown　waters。　　The　study　of　women；　my　dear　Abeuchadnezzar〃

〃Peta；〃　retorted　Abeuchapeta；　irritably。

〃I　stand　corrected。　　The　study　of　women；　my　dear　Peter；〃　said　Morgan；　with　a　wink　at　Conrad；　which　fortunately　the　seventh…century　pirate　did　not　see；　else　there　would　have　been　an　open　break〃the　study　of　women　is　more　difficult　than　that　of　astronomy；　there　may　be　two　stars　alike；　but　all　women　are　unique。　　Because　she　was　this；　that；　or　the　other　thing　in　your　day　does　not　prove　that　she　is　any　one　of　those　things　in　our　dayin　fact；　it　proves　the　contrary。　　Why；　I　venture　even　to　say　that　no　individual　woman　is　alike。〃

〃That's　rather　a　hazy　thought；〃　said　Kidd；　scratching　his　head　in　a　puzzled　sort　of　way。

〃I　mean　that　she's　different　from　herself　at　different　times；〃　said　Morgan。　　〃What　is　it　the　poet　called　her？'an　infinite　variety　show；'　or　something　of　that　sort；　a　perpetual　vaudevillea　continuous　performance；　as　it　were；　from　twelve　to　twelve。〃

〃Morgan　is　right；　admiral！〃　put　in　Conrad　the　corsair；　acting　temporarily　as　bo'sun。　　〃The　times　are　sadly　changed；　and　woman　is　no　longer　what　she　was。　　She　is　hardly　what　she　is；　much　less　what　she　was。　　The　Roman　Gynaeceum　would　be　an　impossibility　to…day。　　You　might　as　well　expect　Delilah　to　open　a　barber…shop　on　board　this　boat　as　ask　any　of　these　advanced　females　below…stairs　to　sew　buttons　on　a　pirate's　uniform　after　a　fray；　or　to　keep　the　fringe　on　his　epaulets　curled。　　They're　no　longer　sewing…machinesthey　are　Keeley　motors　for　mystery　and　perpetual　motion。　　Women　have　views　now　they　are　no　longer　content　to　be　looked　at　merely；　they　must　see　for　themselves；　and　the　more　they　see；　the　more　they　wish　to　domesticate　man　and　emancipate　woman。　　It's　my　private　opinion　that　if　we　are　to　get　along　with　them　at　all　the　best　thing　to　do　is　to　let　'em　alone。　　I　have　always　found　I　was　better　off　in　the　abstract；　and　if　this　question　is　going　to　be　settled　in　a　purely　democratic　fashion　by　submitting　it　to　a　vote；　I'll　vote　for　any　measure　which　involves　leaving　them　strictly　to　themselves。　　They're　nothing　but　a　lot　of　ghosts　anyhow；　like　ourselves；　and　we　can　pretend　we　don't　see　them。〃

〃If　that　could　be；　it　would　be　excellent；〃　said　Morgan；　〃but　it　is　impossible。　　For　a　pirate　of　the　Byronic　order；　my　dear　Conrad；　you　are　strangely　unversed　in　the　ways　of　the　sex　which　cheers　but　not　inebriates。　　We　can　no　more　ignore　their　presence　upon　this　boat　than　we　can　expect　whales　to　spout　kerosene。　　In　the　first　place；　it　would　be　excessively　impolite　of　us　to　cut　themto　decline　to　speak　to　them　if　they　should　address　us。　　We　may　be　pirates；　ruffians；　cutthroats；　but　I　hope　we　shall　never　forget　that　we　are　gentlemen。〃

〃The　whole　situation　is　rather　contrary　to　etiquette；　don't　you　think？〃　suggested　Conrad。　　〃There's　nobody　to　introduce　us；　and　I　can't　really　see　how　we　can　do　otherwise　than　ignore　them。　　I　certainly　am　not　going　to　stand　on　deck　and　make　eyes　at　them；　to　try　and　pick　up　an　acquaintance　with　them；　even　if　I　am　of　a　Byronic　strain。〃


〃You　forget；〃　said　Kidd；　〃two　essential　features　of　the　situation。　These　women　are　at　presentor　shortly　will　be；　when　they　realize　their　situationin　distress；　and　a　true　gentleman　may　always　fly　to　the　rescue　of　a　distressed　female；　and；　the　second　point；　we　shall　soon　be　on　the　seas；　and　I　understand　that　on　the　fashionable　transatlantic　lines　it　is　now　considered　de　rigueur　to　speak　to　anybody　you　choose　to。　　The　introduction　business　isn't　going　to　stand　in　my　way。〃

〃Well；　may　I　ask；〃　put　in　Abeuchapeta；　〃just　what　it　is　that　is　worrying　you？　　You　said　something　about　feeding　them；　and　dressing　them；　and　keeping　them　in　bonnets。　　I　fancy　there's　fish　enough　in　the　sea　to　feed　'em；　and　as　for　their　gowns　and　hats；　they　can　make　'em　themselves。　　Every　woman　is　a　milliner　at　heart。〃

〃Exactly；　and　we'll　have　to　pay　the　milliners。　　That　is　what　bothers　me。　　I　was　going　to　lead　this　expedition　to　London；　Paris；　and　New　York；　admiral。　　That　is　where　the　money　is；　and　to　get　it　you've　got　to　go　ashore；　to　headquarters。　　You　cannot　nowadays　find　it　on　the　high　seas。　　Modern　civilization；〃　said　Kidd；　〃has　ruined　the　pirate's　business。　　The　latest　news　from　the　other　world　has　really　opened　my　eyes　to　certain　facts　that　I　never　dreamed　of。　　The　conditions　of　the　day　of　which　I　speak　are　interestingly　shown　in　the　experience　of　our　friend　Hawkins　here。　　Captain　Hawkins；　would　you　have　any　objection　to　stating　to　these　gentlemen　the　condition　of　affairs　which　led　you　to　give　up　piracy　on　the　high　seas？〃

〃Not　the　slightest；　Captain　Kidd；〃　returned　Captain　Hawkins；　who　was　a　recent　arrival　in　Hades。　　〃It　is　a　sad　little　story；　and　it　gives　me　a　pain　for　to　think　on　it；　but　none　the　less　I'll　tell　it；　since　you　ask　me。　　When　I　were　a　mere　boy；　fellow…pirates；　I　had　but　one　ambition；　due　to　my　readin'；　which　was　confined　to　stories　of　a　Sunday…school　naterto　become　somethin'　different　from　the　little　Willies　an'　the　clever　Tommies　what　I　read　about　therein。　　They　was　all　good；　an'　they　went　to　their　reward　too　soon　in　life　for　me；　who　even　in　them　days　regarded　death　as　a　stuffy　an'　unpleasant　diversion。　　Learnin'　at　an　early　period　that　virtue　was　its　only　reward；　an'　a…wish…in'　others；　I　says　to　myself：　　'Jim；'　says　I；　'if　you　wishes　to　become　a　magnet　in　this　village；　be　sinful。　　If　so　be　as　you　are　a　good　boy；　an'　kind　to　your　sister　an'　all　other　animals；　you'll　end　up　as　a　prosperous　father　with　fifteen　hundred　a　year　sure；　with　never　no　hope　for　no　public　preferment　beyond　bein'　made　the　super…intendent　of　the　Sunday…school；　but　if　so　be　as　how　you're　bad；　you　may　become　famous；　an'　go　to　Congress；　an'　have　your　picture　in　the　Sunday　noospapers。'　　So　I　looks　around　for　books　tellin'　how　to　get　'Famous　in　Fifty　Ways；'　an'　after　due　reflection　I　settles　in　my　mind　that　to　be　a　pirate's　just　the　thing　for　me；　seein'　as　how　it's　both　profitable　an'　healthy。　　Pass…in'　over　details；　let　me　tell　you　that　I　became　a　pirate。　　I　ran　away　to　sea；　an'　by　dint　of　perseverance；　as　the　Sunday…school　book　useter　say；　in　my　badness　I　soon　became　the　centre　of　a　evil　lot；　an'　when　I　says　to　'em；　'Boys；　I　wants　to　be　a　pirate　chief；'　they　hollers　back；　loud　like；　'Jim；　we're　with　you；'　an'　they　was。　　For　years　I　was　the　terror　of　the　Venezuelan　Gulf；　the　Spanish　Main；　an'　the　Pacific　seas；　but　there　was　precious　little　money　into　it。　　The　best　pay　I　got　was　from　a　Sunday　noospaper　which　paid　me　well　to　sign　an　article　on　'Modern　Piracy'　which　I　didn't　write。　　Finally　business　got　so　bad　the　crew　began　to　murmur；　an'　I　was　at　my　wits'　ends　to　please　'em；　when　one　mornin'；　havin'　passed　a　restless　night；　I　picks　up　a　noospaper　and　sees　in　it　that　'Next　Saturday's　steamer　is　a　weritable　treasure…　ship；　takin'　out　twelve　million　dollars；　and　the　jewels　of　a　certain　prima　donna　valued　at　five　hundred　thousand。'　　'Here's　my　chance；'　says　I；　an'　I　goes　to　sea　and　lies　in　wait　for　the　steamer。　　I　captures　her　easy；　my　crew　bein'　hungry；　an'　fightin　according　like。　We　steals　the　box　a…hold…in'　the　jewels　an'　the　bag　containin'　the　millions；　hustles　back　to　our　own　ship；　an'　makes　for　our　rondyvoo；　me　with　two　bullets　in　my　leg；　four　o'　my　crew　killed；　and　one　engin'　of　my　ship　disabled　by　a　shotbut　happy。　　Twelve　an'　a　half　millions　at　one　break　is　enough　to　make　anybody　happy。〃

〃I　should　say　so；〃　said　Abeuchapeta；　with　an　ecstatic　shake　of　his　head。　　〃I　didn't　get　that　in　all　my　career。〃

〃Nor　I；〃　sighed　Kidd。　　〃But　go　on；　Hawkins。〃

〃Well；　as　I　says；〃　continued　Captain　Hawkins；　〃we　goes　to　the　rondyvoo　to　look　over　our　booty。　　'Captain　'Awkins；'　says　my　valet　for　I　was　a　swell　pirate；　gents；　an'　never　travelled　nowhere　without　a　man　to　keep　my　clothes　brushed　and　the　proper　wrinkles　in　my　trousers'this　'ere　twelve　millions；'　says　he；　'is　werry　light；'　says　he；　carryin'　the　bag　ashore。　　'I　don't　care　how　light　it　is；　so　long　as　it's　twelve　millions；　Henderson；'　says　I；　but　my　heart　sinks　inside　o'　me　at　his　words；　an'　the　minute　we　lands　I　sits　down　to　investigate　right　there　on　the　beach。　　I　opens　the　bag；　an'　it's　the　one　I　was　afterbut　the　twelve　millions！〃

〃Weren't　there？〃　cried　Conrad。

〃Yes；　they　was　there；〃　sighed　Hawkins；　〃but　every　bloomin'　million　was　represented　by　a　certified　check；　an'　payable　in　London！〃

〃By　Jingo！〃　cried　Morgan。　　〃What　fearful　luck！　　But　you　had　the　prima　donna's　jewels。〃

〃Yes；〃　said　Hawkins；　with　a　moan。　　〃But　they　was　like　all　other　prima　donna's　jewelsfor　advertisin'　purposes　only；　an'　made　o'　gum…　arabic！〃

〃Horrible！〃　said　Abeuchapeta。　　〃And　the　crew；　what　did　they　say？〃

〃They　was　a　crew　of　a　few　words；〃　sighed　Hawkins。　　〃Werry　few　words；　an'　not　a　civil　word　in　the　lotmostly　adjectives　of　a　profane　kind。　When　I　told　'em　what　had　happened；　they　got　mad　at　Fortune　for　a…　jiltin'　of　'em；　an'well；　I　came　here。　　I　was　'sas'inated　that　werry　night！〃

〃They　killed　you？〃　cried　Morgan。

〃A　dozen　times；〃　nodded　Hawkins。　　〃They　always　was　a　lavish　lot。　　I　met　death　in　all　its　most　horrid　forms。　　First　they　stabbed　me；　then　they　shot　me；　then　they　clubbed　me；　and　so　on；　endin'　up　with　a　lynchin'but　I　didn't　mind　much　after　the　first；　which　hurt　a　bit。　But　now　that　I'm　here　I'm　glad　it　happened。　　This　life　is　sort　of　less　responsible　than　that　other。　　You　can't　hurt　a　ghost　by　shooting　him；　because　there　ain't　nothing　to　hurt；　an'　I　must　say　I　like　bein'　a　mere　vision　what　everybody　can　see　through。〃

〃All　of　which