the pursuit of the house-boat-第8章

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to　hurt；　an'　I　must　say　I　like　bein'　a　mere　vision　what　everybody　can　see　through。〃

〃All　of　which　interesting　tale　proves　what？〃　queried　Abeuchapeta。

〃That　piracy　on　the　sea　is　not　profitable　in　these　days　of　the　check　banking　system；〃　said　Kidd。　　〃If　you　can　get　a　chance　at　real　gold　it's　all　right；　but　it's　of　no　earthly　use　to　steal　checks　that　people　can　stop　payment　on。　　Therefore　it　was　my　plan　to　visit　the　cities　and　do　a　little　freebooting　there；　where　solid　material　wealth　is　to　be　found。〃

〃Well？　　Can't　we　do　it　now？〃　asked　Abeuchapeta。

〃Not　with　these　women　tagging　after　us；〃　returned　Kidd。　　〃If　we　went　to　London　and　lifted　the　whole　Bank　of　England；　these　women　would　have　it　spent　on　Regent　Street　inside　of　twenty…four　hours。〃

〃Then　leave　them　on　board；〃　said　Abeuchapeta。

〃And　have　them　steal　the　ship！〃　retorted　Kidd。　　〃No。　　There　are　but　two　things　to　do。　　Take　'em　back；　or　land　them　in　Paris。　　Tell　them　to　spend　a　week　on　shore　while　we　are　provisioning。　　Tell　'em　to　shop　to　their　hearts'　content；　and　while　they　are　doing　it　we　can　sneak　off　and　leave　them　stranded。〃

〃Splendid！〃　cried　Morgan。

〃But　will　they　consent？〃　asked　Abeuchapeta。

〃Consent！　　To　shop？　　In　Paris？　　For　a　week？〃　cried　Morgan。

〃Ha；　ha！〃　laughed　Hawkins。　　〃Will　they　consent！　　Will　a　duck　swim？〃

And　so　it　was　decided；　which　was　the　first　incident　in　the　career　of　the　House…boat　upon　which　the　astute　Mr。　Sherlock　Holmes　had　failed　to　count。



CHAPTER　VI：　　A　CONFERENCE　BELOW…STAIRS



When；　with　a　resounding　slam；　the　door　to　the　upper　deck　of　the　House…boat　was　shut　in　the　faces　of　queens　Elizabeth　and　Cleopatra　by　the　unmannerly　Kidd；　these　ladies　turned　and　gazed　at　those　who　thronged　the　stairs　behind　them　in　blank　amazement；　and　the　heart　of　Xanthippe；　had　one　chosen　to　gaze　through　that　diaphanous　person's　ribs；　could　have　been　seen　to　beat　angrily。

Queen　Elizabeth　was　so　excited　at　this　wholly　novel　attitude　towards　her　regal　self　that；　having　turned；　she　sat　down　plump　upon　the　floor　in　the　most　unroyal　fashion。

〃Well！〃　she　ejaculated。　　〃If　this　does　not　surpass　everything！　　The　idea　of　it！　　Oh　for　one　hour　of　my　olden　power；　one　hour　of　the　axe；　one　hour　of　the　block！〃

〃Get　up；〃　retorted　Cleopatra；　〃and　let　us　all　return　to　the　billiard…　room　and　discuss　this　matter　calmly。　　It　is　quite　evident　that　something　has　happened　of　which　we　wotted　little　when　we　came　aboard　this　craft。〃

〃That　is　a　good　idea；〃　said　Calpurnia；　retreating　below。　　〃I　can　see　through　the　window　that　we　are　in　motion。　　The　vessel　has　left　her　moorings；　and　is　making　considerable　headway　down　the　stream；　and　the　distinctly　masculine　voices　we　have　heard　are　indications　to　my　mind　that　the　ship　is　manned；　and　that　this　is　the　result　of　design　rather　than　of　accident。　　Let　us　below。〃

Elizabeth　rose　up　and　readjusted　her　ruff；　which　in　the　excitement　of　the　moment　had　been　forced　to　assume　a　position　about　her　forehead　which　gave　one　the　impression　that　its　royal　wearer　had　suddenly　donned　a　sombrero。

〃Very　well；〃　she　said。　　〃Let　us　below；　but　oh；　for　the　axe！〃

〃Bring　the　lady　an　axe；〃　cried　Xanthippe；　sarcastically。　　〃She　wants　to　cut　somebody。〃

The　sally　was　not　greeted　with　applause。　　The　situation　was　regarded　as　being　too　serious　to　admit　of　humor；　and　in　silence　they　filed　back　into　the　billiard…room；　and；　arranging　themselves　in　groups；　stood　about　anxiously　discussing　the　situation。

〃It's　getting　rougher　every　minute；〃　sobbed　Ophelia。　　〃Look　at　those　pool…balls！〃　　These　were　in　very　truth　chasing　each　other　about　the　table　in　an　extraordinary　fashion。　　〃And　I　wish　I'd　never　followed　you　horrid　new　creatures　on　board！〃　the　poor　girl　added；　in　an　agony　of　despair。

〃I　believe　we've　crossed　the　bar　already！〃　said　Cleopatra；　gazing　out　of　the　window　at　a　nasty　choppy　sea　that　was　adding　somewhat　to　the　disquietude　of　the　fair　gathering。　　〃If　this　is　merely　a　joke　on　the　part　of　the　Associated　Shades；　it　is　a　mighty　poor　one；　and　I　think　it　is　time　it　should　cease。〃

〃Oh；　for　an　axe！〃　moaned　Elizabeth；　again。

〃Excuse　me；　your　Majesty；〃　put　in　Xanthippe。　　〃You　said　that　before；　and　I　must　say　it　is　getting　tiresome。　　You　couldn't　do　anything　with　an　axe。　　Suppose　you　had　one。　　What　earthly　good　would　it　do　you；　who　were　accustomed　to　doing　all　your　killing　by　proxy？　　I　don't　believe；　if　you　had　the　unmannerly　person　who　slammed　the　door　in　your　face　lying　prostrate　upon　the　billiard…table　here；　you　could　hit　him　a　square　blow　in　the　neck　if　you　had　a　hundred　axes。　　Delilah　might　as　well　cry　for　her　scissors；　for　all　the　good　it　would　do　us　in　our　predicament。　　If　Cleopatra　had　her　asp　with　her　it　might　be　more　to　the　purpose。　　One　deadly　little　snake　like　that　let　loose　on　the　upper　deck　would　doubtless　drive　these　boors　into　the　sea；　and　even　then　our　condition　would　not　be　bettered；　for　there　isn't　any　of　us　that　can　sail　a　boat。　　There　isn't　an　old　salt　among　us。〃

〃Too　bad　Mrs。　Lot　isn't　along；〃　giggled　Marguerite　de　Valois；　whose　Gallic　spirits　were　by　no　means　overshadowed　by　the　unhappy　predicament　in　which　she　found　herself。

〃I'm　here；〃　piped　up　Mrs。　Lot。　　〃But　I'm　not　that　kind　of　a　salt。〃

〃I　am　present；〃　said　Mrs。　Noah。　　〃Though　why　I　ever　came　I　don't　know；　for　I　vowed　the　minute　I　set　my　foot　on　Ararat　that　dry　land　was　good　enough　for　me；　and　that　I'd　never　step　aboard　another　boat　as　long　as　I　lived。　　If；　however；　now　that　I　am　here；　I　can　give　you　the　benefit　of　my　nautical　experience；　you　are　all　perfectly　welcome　to　it。〃

〃I'm　sure　we're　very　much　obliged　for　the　offer；〃　said　Portia；　〃but　in　the　emergency　which　has　arisen　we　cannot　say　how　much　obliged　we　are　until　we　know　what　your　experience　amounted　to。　　Before　relying　upon　you　we　ought　to　know　how　far　that　reliance　can　gonot　that　I　lack　confidence　in　you；　my　dear　madam；　but　that　in　an　hour　of　peril　one　must　take　care；　to　rely　upon　the　oak；　not　upon　the　reed。〃

〃The　point　is　properly　taken；〃　said　Elizabeth；　〃and　I　wish　to　say　here　that　I　am　easier　in　my　mind　when　I　realize　that　we　have　with　us　so　level…headed　a　person　as　the　lady　who　has　just　spoken。　　She　has　spoken　truly　and　to　the　point。　　If　I　were　to　become　queen　again；　I　should　make　her　my　attorney…general。　　We　must　not　go　ahead　impulsively；　but　look　at　all　things　in　a　calm；　judicial　manner。〃

〃Which　is　pretty　hard　work　with　a　sea　like　this　on；〃　remarked　Ophelia；　faintly；　for　she　was　getting　a　trifle　sallow；　as　indeed　she　might；　for　the　House…boat　was　beginning　to　roll　tremendously　with　no　alleviation　save　an　occasional　pitch；　which　was　an　alleviation　only　in　the　sense　that　it　gave　variety　to　their　discomfort。　　〃I　don't　believe　a　chief…justice　could　look　at　things　calmly　and　in　a　judicial　manner　if　he　felt　as　I　do。〃

〃Poor　dear！〃　said　the　matronly　Mrs。　Noah；　sympathetically。　　〃I　know　exactly　how　you　feel。　　I　have　been　there　myself。　　The　fourth　day　out　I　and　my　whole　family　were　in　the　same　condition；　except　that　Noah；　my　husband；　was　so　very　far　gone　that　I　could　not　afford　to　yield。　　I　nursed　him　for　six　days　before　he　got　his　sea…legs　on；　and　then　succumbed　myself。〃

〃But；〃　gasped　Ophelia；　〃that　doesn't　help　me　…

〃It　did　my　husband；〃　said　Mrs。　Noah。

〃When　he　heard　that　the　boys　were　seasick　too；　he　actually　laughed　and　began　to　get　better　right　away。　　There　is　really　only　one　cure　for　the　mal　de　mer；　and　that　is　the　fun　of　knowing　that　somebody　else　is　suffering　too。　　If　some　of　you　ladies　would　kindly　yield　to　the　seductions　of　the　sea；　I　think　we　could　get　this　poor　girl　on　her　feet　in　an　instant。〃

Unfortunately　for　poor　Ophelia；　there　was　no　immediate　response　to　this　appeal；　and　the　unhappy　young　woman　was　forced　to　suffer　in　solitude。

〃We　have　no　time　for　untimely　diversions　of　this　sort；〃　snapped　Xanthippe；　with　a　scornful　glance　at　the　suffering　Ophelia；　who；　having　retired　to　a　comfortable　lounge　at　an　end　of　the　room；　was　evidently　improving。　　〃I　have　no　sympathy　with　this　habit　some　of　my　sex　seem　to　have　acquired　of　succumbing　to　an　immediate　sensation　of　this　nature。〃

〃I　hope　to　be　pardoned　for　interrupting；〃　said　Mrs。　Noah；　with　a　great　deal　of　firmness；　〃but　I　wish　Mrs。　Socrates　to　understand　that　it　is　rather　early　in　the　voyage　for　her　to　lay　down　any　such　broad　principle　as　that；　and　for　her　own　sake　to…morrow；　I　think　it　would　be　well　if　she　withdrew　the　sentiment。　　There　are　certain　things　about　a　sea…voyage　that　are　more　or　less　beyond　the　control　of　man　or　woman；　and　any　one　who　chides　that　poor　suffering　child　on　yonder　sofa　ought　to　be　more　confident　than　Mrs。　Socrates　can　possibly　be　that　within　an　hour　she　will　not　be　as　badly　off。　　People　who　live　in　glass　houses　should　not　throw　dice。〃

〃I　shall　never　yield　to　anything　so　undignified　as　seasickness；　let　me　tell　you　that；〃　retorted　Xanthippe。　　〃Furthermore；　the　proverb　is　not　as　the　lady　has　quoted　it。　　'People　who　live　in　glass　houses　should　not　throw　stones'　is　the　proper　version。〃

〃I　was　not　quoting；〃　returned　Mrs。　Noah；　calmly。　　〃When　I　said　that　people　who　live　in　glass　houses　should　not　throw　dice；　I　meant　precisely　what　I　said。　　People　who　live　in　glass　houses　should　not　take　chances。　　In　assuming　with　such　vainglorious　positiveness　that　she　will　not　be　seasick；　the　lady　who　has　just　spoken　is　giving　tremendous　odds；　as　the　boys　used　to　say　on　the　Ark　when　we　gathered　about　the　table　at　night　and　began　to　make　small　wagers　on　the　day's　run。〃

〃I　think　we　had　better　suspend　this　discussion；〃　suggested　Cleopatra。　〃It　is　of　no　immediate　interest　to　any　one　but　Ophelia；　and　I　fancy　she　does　not　care　to　dwell　upon　it　at　any　great　length。　　It　is　more　important　that　we　should　decide　upon　our　future　course　of　action。　　In　the　first　place；　the　question　is　who　these　people　up　on　deck　are。　　If　they　are　the　members　of　the　club；　we　are　all　right。　　They　will　give　us　our　scare；　and　land　us　safely　again　at　the　pier。　　In　that　event　it　is　our　womanly　duty　to　manifest　no　concern；　and　to　seem　to　be　aware　of　nothing　unusual　in　the　proceeding。　　It　would　never　do　to　let　them　think　that　their　joke　has　been　a　good　one。　　If；　on　the　other　hand；　as　I　fear；　we　are　the　victims　of　some　horde　of　ruffians；　who　have　pounced　upon　us　unawares；　and　are　going　into　the　business　of　abduction　on　a　wholesale　basis；　we　must　meet　treachery　with　treachery；　strategy　with　strategy。　　I；　for　one；　am　perfectly　willing　to　make　every　man　on　board　walk　the　plank；　having　confidence　in　the　seawomanship　of　Mrs。　Noah　and　her　ability　to　steer　us　into　port。〃

〃I　am　quite　in　accord　with　these　views；〃　put　in　Madame　Recamier；　〃and　I　move　you；　Mrs。　President；　that　we　organize　a　series　of　sub…　committeesone　on　treachery；　with　Lucretia　Borgia　and　Delilah　as　members；　one　on　strategy；　consisting　of　Portia　and　Queen　Elizabeth；　one　on　navigation；　headed　by　Mrs。　Noah；　with　a　final　sub…committee　on　reconnoitre；　with　Cassandra　to　look　forward；　and　Mrs。　Lot　to　look　aftall　of　these　subordinated　to　a　central　committee　of　safety　headed　by　Cleopatra　and　Calpurnia。　　The　rest　of　us　can　then　commit　ourselves　and　our　interests　unreservedly　to　these　ladies；　and　proceed　to　enjoy　ourselves　without　thought　of　the　morrow。〃

〃I　second　the　motion；〃　said　Ophelia；　〃with　the　amendment　that　Madame　Recamier　be　appointed　chair…lady　of　another　sub…committee；　on