the diary of a nobody-第13章

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Lupin　gave　three　cheers；　and　we　rapped　the　table　furiously；　which　brought　in　Sarah　to　see　what　the　matter　was。　　Lupin　ordered　us　to　〃fill　up〃　again；　and　addressing　us　upstanding；　said：　　〃Having　been　in　the　firm　of　Job　Cleanands；　stock　and　share…brokers；　a　few　weeks；　and　not　having　paid　particular　attention　to　the　interests　of　my　superiors　in　office；　my　Guv'nor；　as　a　reward　to　me；　allotted　me　5　pounds　worth　of　shares　in　a　really　good　thing。　　The　result　is；　to…　day　I　have　made　200　pounds。〃　　I　said：　　〃Lupin；　you　are　joking。〃　〃No；　Guv。；　it's　the　good　old　truth；　Job　Cleanands　PUT　ME　ON　TO　CHLORATES。〃

January　21。　…　I　am　very　much　concerned　at　Lupin　having　started　a　pony…trap。　　I　said：　　〃Lupin；　are　you　justified　in　this　outrageous　extravagance？〃　　Lupin　replied：　　〃Well；　one　must　get　to　the　City　somehow。　　I've　only　hired　it；　and　can　give　it　up　any　time　I　like。〃　I　repeated　my　question：　　〃Are　you　justified　in　this　extravagance？〃　He　replied：　　〃Look　here；　Guv。；　excuse　me　saying　so；　but　you're　a　bit　out　of　date。　　It　does　not　pay　nowadays；　fiddling　about　over　small　things。　　I　don't　mean　anything　personal；　Guv'nor。　　My　boss　says　if　I　take　his　tip；　and　stick　to　big　things；　I　can　make　big　money！〃　　I　said　I　thought　the　very　idea　of　speculation　most　horrifying。　　Lupin　said　〃It　is　not　speculation；　it's　a　dead　cert。〃　I　advised　him；　at　all　events；　not　to　continue　the　pony　and　cart；　but　he　replied：　　〃I　made　200　pounds　in　one　day；　now　suppose　I　only　make　200　pounds　in　a　month；　or　put　it　at　100　pounds　a　month；　which　is　ridiculously　low　…　why；　that　is　1；250　pounds　a　year。　　What's　a　few　pounds　a　week　for　a　trap？〃

I　did　not　pursue　the　subject　further；　beyond　saying　that　I　should　feel　glad　when　the　autumn　came；　and　Lupin　would　be　of　age　and　responsible　for　his　own　debts。　　He　answered：　　〃My　dear　Guv。；　I　promise　you　faithfully　that　I　will　never　speculate　with　what　I　have　not　got。　　I　shall　only　go　on　Job　Cleanands'　tips；　and　as　he　is　in　the　'know'　it　is　pretty　safe　sailing。〃　　I　felt　somewhat　relieved。　Gowing　called　in　the　evening　and；　to　my　surprise；　informed　me　that；　as　he　had　made　10　pounds　by　one　of　Lupin's　tips；　he　intended　asking　us　and　the　Cummings　round　next　Saturday。　　Carrie　and　I　said　we　should　be　delighted。

January　22。　…　I　don't　generally　lose　my　temper　with　servants；　but　I　had　to　speak　to　Sarah　rather　sharply　about　a　careless　habit　she　has　recently　contracted　of　shaking　the　table…cloth；　after　removing　the　breakfast　things；　in　a　manner　which　causes　all　the　crumbs　to　fall　on　the　carpet；　eventually　to　be　trodden　in。　　Sarah　answered　very　rudely：　　〃Oh；　you　are　always　complaining。〃　　I　replied：　　〃Indeed；　I　am　not。　　I　spoke　to　you　last　week　about　walking　all　over　the　drawing…room　carpet　with　a　piece　of　yellow　soap　on　the　heel　of　your　boot。〃　　She　said：　　〃And　you're　always　grumbling　about　your　breakfast。〃　　I　said：　　〃No；　I　am　not；　but　I　feel　perfectly　justified　in　complaining　that　I　never　can　get　a　hard…boiled　egg。　　The　moment　I　crack　the　shell　it　spurts　all　over　the　plate；　and　I　have　spoken　to　you　at　least　fifty　times　about　it。〃　　She　began　to　cry　and　make　a　scene；　but　fortunately　my　'bus　came　by；　so　I　had　a　good　excuse　for　leaving　her。　　Gowing　left　a　message　in　the　evening；　that　we　were　not　to　forget　next　Saturday。　　Carrie　amusingly　said：　　As　he　has　never　asked　any　friends　before；　we　are　not　likely　to　forget　it。

January　23。　…　I　asked　Lupin　to　try　and　change　the　hard　brushes；　he　recently　made　me　a　present　of；　for　some　softer　ones；　as　my　hair…　dresser　tells　me　I　ought　not　to　brush　my　hair　too　much　just　now。

January　24。　…　The　new　chimney…glass　came　home　for　the　back　drawing…　room。　　Carrie　arranged　some　fans　very　prettily　on　the　top　and　on　each　side。　　It　is　an　immense　improvement　to　the　room。

January　25。　…　We　had　just　finished　our　tea；　when　who　should　come　in　but　Cummings；　who　has　not　been　here　for　over　three　weeks。　　I　noticed　that　he　looked　anything　but　well；　so　I　said：　　〃Well；　Cummings；　how　are　you？　　You　look　a　little　blue。〃　　He　replied：　〃Yes！　and　I　feel　blue　too。〃　　I　said：　　〃Why；　what's　the　matter？〃　　He　said：　　〃Oh；　nothing；　except　that　I　have　been　on　my　back　for　a　couple　of　weeks；　that's　all。　　At　one　time　my　doctor　nearly　gave　me　up；　yet　not　a　soul　has　come　near　me。　　No　one　has　even　taken　the　trouble　to　inquire　whether　I　was　alive　or　dead。〃

I　said：　　〃This　is　the　first　I　have　heard　of　it。　　I　have　passed　your　house　several　nights；　and　presumed　you　had　company；　as　the　rooms　were　so　brilliantly　lighted。〃

Cummings　replied：　　〃No！　　The　only　company　I　have　had　was　my　wife；　the　doctor；　and　the　landlady　…　the　last…named　having　turned　out　a　perfect　trump。　　I　wonder　you　did　not　see　it　in　the　paper。　　I　know　it　was　mentioned　in　the　BICYCLE　NEWS。〃

I　thought　to　cheer　him　up；　and　said：　　〃Well；　you　are　all　right　now？〃

He　replied：　　〃That's　not　the　question。　　The　question　is　whether　an　illness　does　not　enable　you　to　discover　who　are　your　TRUE　friends。〃

I　said　such　an　observation　was　unworthy　of　him。　　To　make　matters　worse；　in　came　Gowing；　who　gave　Cummings　a　violent　slap　on　the　back；　and　said：　　〃Hulloh！　　Have　you　seen　a　ghost？　　You　look　scared　to　death；　like　Irving　in　MACBETH。〃　　I　said：　　〃Gently；　Gowing；　the　poor　fellow　has　been　very　ill。〃　　Gowing　roared　with　laughter　and　said：　　〃Yes；　and　you　look　it；　too。〃　　Cummings　quietly　said：　　〃Yes；　and　I　feel　it　too　…　not　that　I　suppose　you　care。〃

An　awkward　silence　followed。　　Gowing　said：　　〃Never　mind；　Cummings；　you　and　the　missis　come　round　to　my　place　to…morrow；　and　it　will　cheer　you　up　a　bit；　for　we'll　open　a　bottle　of　wine。〃

January　26。　…　An　extraordinary　thing　happened。　　Carrie　and　I　went　round　to　Gowing's；　as　arranged；　at　half…past　seven。　　We　knocked　and　rang　several　times　without　getting　an　answer。　　At　last　the　latch　was　drawn　and　the　door　opened　a　little　way；　the　chain　still　being　up。　　A　man　in　shirt…sleeves　put　his　head　through　and　said：　　〃Who　is　it？　　What　do　you　want？〃　I　said：　　〃Mr。　Gowing；　he　is　expecting　us。〃　The　man　said　（as　well　as　I　could　hear；　owing　to　the　yapping　of　a　little　dog）：　　〃I　don't　think　he　is。　　Mr。　Gowing　is　not　at　home。〃　　I　said：　　〃He　will　be　in　directly。〃

With　that　observation　he　slammed　the　door；　leaving　Carrie　and　me　standing　on　the　steps　with　a　cutting　wind　blowing　round　the　corner。

Carrie　advised　me　to　knock　again。　　I　did　so；　and　then　discovered　for　the　first　time　that　the　knocker　had　been　newly　painted；　and　the　paint　had　come　off　on　my　gloves　…　which　were；　in　consequence；　completely　spoiled。

I　knocked　at　the　door　with　my　stick　two　or　three　times。

The　man　opened　the　door；　taking　the　chain　off　this　time；　and　began　abusing　me。　　He　said：　　〃What　do　you　mean　by　scratching　the　paint　with　your　stick　like　that；　spoiling　the　varnish？　　You　ought　to　be　ashamed　of　yourself。〃

I　said：　　〃Pardon　me；　Mr。　Gowing　invited　…　〃

He　interrupted　and　said：　　〃I　don't　care　for　Mr。　Gowing；　or　any　of　his　friends。　　This　is　MY　door；　not　Mr。　Gowing's。　　There　are　people　here　besides　Mr。　Gowing。〃

The　impertinence　of　this　man　was　nothing。　　I　scarcely　noticed　it；　it　was　so　trivial　in　comparison　with　the　scandalous　conduct　of　Gowing。

At　this　moment　Cummings　and　his　wife　arrived。　　Cummings　was　very　lame　and　leaning　on　a　stick；　but　got　up　the　steps　and　asked　what　the　matter　was。

The　man　said：　　〃Mr。　Gowing　said　nothing　about　expecting　anyone。　All　he　said　was　he　had　just　received　an　invitation　to　Croydon；　and　he　should　not　be　back　till　Monday　evening。　　He　took　his　bag　with　him。〃

With　that　he　slammed　the　door　again。　　I　was　too　indignant　with　Gowing's　conduct　to　say　anything。　　Cummings　looked　white　with　rage；　and　as　he　descended　the　steps　struck　his　stick　violently　on　the　ground　and　said：　　〃Scoundrel！〃



CHAPTER　XV。



Gowing　explains　his　conduct。　　Lupin　takes　us　for　a　drive；　which　we　don't　enjoy。　　Lupin　introduces　us　to　Mr。　Murray　Posh。


February　8。　…　It　does　seem　hard　I　cannot　get　good　sausages　for　breakfast。　　They　are　either　full　of　bread　or　spice；　or　are　as　red　as　beef。　　Still　anxious　about　the　20　pounds　I　invested　last　week　by　Lupin's　advice。　　However；　Cummings　has　done　the　same。

February　9。　…　Exactly　a　fortnight　has　passed；　and　I　have　neither　seen　nor　heard　from　Gowing　respecting　his　extraordinary　conduct　in　asking　us　round　to　his　house；　and　then　being　out。　　In　the　evening　Carrie　was　engaged　marking　a　half…dozen　new　collars　I　had　purchased。　　I'll　back　Carrie's　marking　against　anybody's。　　While　I　was　drying　them　at　the　fire；　and　Carrie　was　rebuking　me　for　scorching　them；　Cummings　came　in。

He　seemed　quite　well　again；　and　chaffed　us　about　marking　the　collars。　　I　asked　him　if　he　had　heard　from　Gowing；　and　he　replied　that　he　had　not。　　I　said　I　should　not　have　believed　that　Gowing　could　have　acted　in　such　an　ungentlemanly　manner。　　Cummings　said：　〃You　are　mild　in　your　description　of　him；　I　think　he　has　acted　like　a　cad。〃

The　words　were　scarcely　out　of　his　mouth　when　the　door　opened；　and　Gowing；　putting　in　his　head；　said：　　〃May　I　come　in？〃　　I　said：　〃Certainly。〃　　Carrie　said　very　pointedly：　　〃Well；　you　ARE　a　stranger。〃　　Gowing　said：　　〃Yes；　I've　been　on　and　off　to　Croydon　during　the　last　fortnight。〃　　I　could　see　Cummings　was　boiling　over；　and　eventually　he　tackled　Gowing　very　strongly　respecting　his　conduct　last　Saturday　week。　　Gowing　appeared　surprised；　and　said：　〃Why；　I　posted　a　letter　to　you　in　the　morning　announcing　that　the　party　was　'off；　very　much　off。'〃　　I　said：　　〃I　never　got　it。〃　Gowing；　turning　to　Carrie；　said：　　〃I　suppose　letters　sometimes　MISCARRY；　don't　they；　MRS。　Carrie？〃　　Cummings　sharply　said：　　〃This　is　not　a　time　for　joking。　　I　had　no　notice　of　the　party　being　put　off。〃　　Gowing　replied：　　〃I　told　Pooter　in　my　note　to　tell　you；　as　I　was　in　a　hurry。　　However；　I'll　inquire　at　the　post…office；　and　we　must　meet　again　at　my　place。〃　　I　added　that　I　hoped　he　would　be　present　at　the　next　meeting。　　Carrie　roared　at　this；　and　even　Cummings　could　not　help　laughing。

February　10；　Sunday。　…　Contrary　to　my　wishes；　Carrie　allowed　Lupin　to　persuade　her　to　take　her　for　a　drive　in　the　afternoon　in　his　trap。　　I　quite　disapprove　of　driving　on　a　Sunday；　but　I　did　not　like　to　trust　Carrie　alone　with　Lupin；　so　I　offered　to　go　too。　Lupin　said：　　〃Now；　that　is　nice　of　you；　Guv。；　but　you　won't　mind　sitting　on　the　back…seat　of　the　cart？〃

Lupin　proceeded　to　put　on　a　bright…blue　coat　that　seemed　miles　too　large　for　him。　　Carrie　said　it　wanted　taking　in　considerably　at　the　back。　　Lupin　said：　　〃Haven't　you　seen　a　box…coat　before？　　You　can't　drive　in　anything　else。〃

He　may　wear　what　he　likes　in　the　future；　for　I　shall　never　drive　with　him　again。　　His　conduct　was　shocking。　　When　we　passed　Highgate　Archway；　he　tried　to　pass　everything　and　everybody。　　He　shouted　to　respectable　people　who　were　walking　quietly　in　the　road　to　get　out　of　the　way；　he　flicked　at　the　horse　of　an　old　man　who　was　riding；　causing　it　to　rear；　and；　as　I　had　to　ride　backwards；　I　was　compelled　to　face　a　gang　of　roughs　in　a　donkey…cart；　whom　Lupin　had　chaffed；　and　who　turned　and　followed　us　for　nearly　a　mile；　bellowing；　indulging　in　coarse　jokes　and　laughter；　to　say　nothing　of　occasionally　pelting　us　with　orange…peel。

Lupin's　excuse　…　that　the　Prince　of　Wales　would　have　to　put　up　with　the　same　sort　of　thing　if　he　drove　to　the　Derby　…　was　of　little　consolation　to　either　Carrie　or　myself。　　Frank　Mutlar　called　in　the　evening；