the diary of a nobody-第20章

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rds　me。　　I　gave　the　alphabet；　and　it　spelled　out　S　P　O　O　F。　　As　I　have　heard　both　Gowing　and　Lupin　use　the　word；　and　as　I　could　hear　Gowing　silently　laughing；　I　directly　accused　him　of　pushing　the　table。　　He　denied　it；　but；　I　regret　to　say；　I　did　not　believe　him。

Gowing　said：　　〃Perhaps　it　means　'Spook；'　a　ghost。〃

I　said：　　〃YOU　know　it　doesn't　mean　anything　of　the　sort。〃

Gowing　said：　　〃Oh！　very　well　…　I'm　sorry　I　'spook；'〃　and　he　rose　from　the　table。

No　one　took　any　notice　of　the　stupid　joke；　and　Mrs。　James　suggested　he　should　sit　out　for　a　while。　　Gowing　consented　and　sat　in　the　arm…chair。

The　table　began　to　move　again；　and　we　might　have　had　a　wonderful　seance　but　for　Gowing's　stupid　interruptions。　　In　answer　to　the　alphabet　from　Carrie　the　table　spelt　〃NIPUL；〃　then　the　〃WARN〃　three　times。　　We　could　not　think　what　it　meant　till　Cummings　pointed　out　that　〃NIPUL〃　was　Lupin　spelled　backwards。　　This　was　quite　exciting。　Carrie　was　particularly　excited；　and　said　she　hoped　nothing　horrible　was　going　to　happen。

Mrs。　James　asked　if　〃Lina〃　was　the　spirit。　　The　table　replied　firmly；　〃No；〃　and　the　spirit　would　not　give　his　or　her　name。　　We　then　had　the　message；　〃NIPUL　will　be　very　rich。〃

Carrie　said　she　felt　quite　relieved；　but　the　word　〃WARN〃　was　again　spelt　out。　　The　table　then　began　to　oscillate　violently；　and　in　reply　to　Mrs。　James；　who　spoke　very　softly　to　the　table；　the　spirit　began　to　spell　its　name。　　It　first　spelled　〃DRINK。〃

Gowing　here　said：　　〃Ah！　that's　more　in　my　line。〃

I　asked　him　to　be　quiet　as　the　name　might　not　be　completed。

The　table　then　spelt　〃WATER。〃

Gowing　here　interrupted　again；　and　said：　　〃Ah！　that's　NOT　in　my　line。　　OUTSIDE　if　you　like；　but　not　inside。〃

Carrie　appealed　to　him　to　be　quiet。

The　table　then　spelt　〃CAPTAIN；〃　and　Mrs。　James　startled　us　by　crying　out；　〃Captain　Drinkwater；　a　very　old　friend　of　my　father's；　who　has　been　dead　some　years。〃

This　was　more　interesting；　and　I　could　not　help　thinking　that　after　all　there　must　be　something　in　Spiritualism。

Mrs。　James　asked　the　spirit　to　interpret　the　meaning　of　the　word　〃Warn〃　as　applied　to　〃NIPUL。〃　　The　alphabet　was　given　again；　and　we　got　the　word　〃BOSH。〃

Gowing　here　muttered：　　〃So　it　is。〃

Mrs。　James　said　she　did　not　think　the　spirit　meant　that；　as　Captain　Drinkwater　was　a　perfect　gentleman；　and　would　never　have　used　the　word　in　answer　to　a　lady's　question。　　Accordingly　the　alphabet　was　given　again。

This　time　the　table　spelled　distinctly　〃POSH。〃　　We　all　thought　of　Mrs。　Murray　Posh　and　Lupin。　　Carrie　was　getting　a　little　distressed；　and　as　it　was　getting　late　we　broke　up　the　circle。

We　arranged　to　have　one　more　to…morrow；　as　it　will　be　Mrs。　James'　last　night　in　town。　　We　also　determined　NOT　to　have　Gowing　present。

Cummings；　before　leaving；　said　it　was　certainly　interesting；　but　he　wished　the　spirits　would　say　something　about　him。

June　4。　…　Quite　looking　forward　to　the　seance　this　evening。　　Was　thinking　of　it　all　the　day　at　the　office。

Just　as　we　sat　down　at　the　table　we　were　annoyed　by　Gowing　entering　without　knocking。

He　said：　　〃I　am　not　going　to　stop；　but　I　have　brought　with　me　a　sealed　envelope；　which　I　know　I　can　trust　with　Mrs。　Pooter。　　In　that　sealed　envelope　is　a　strip　of　paper　on　which　I　have　asked　a　simple　question。　　If　the　spirits　can　answer　that　question；　I　will　believe　in　Spiritualism。〃

I　ventured　the　expression　that　it　might　be　impossible。

Mrs。　James　said：　　〃Oh　no！　it　is　of　common　occurrence　for　the　spirits　to　answer　questions　under　such　conditions　…　and　even　for　them　to　write　on　locked　slates。　　It　is　quite　worth　trying。　　If　'Lina'　is　in　a　good　temper；　she　is　certain　to　do　it。〃

Gowing　said：　　〃All　right；　then　I　shall　be　a　firm　believer。　　I　shall　perhaps　drop　in　about　half…past　nine　or　ten；　and　hear　the　result。〃

He　then　left　and　we　sat　a　long　time。　　Cummings　wanted　to　know　something　about　some　undertaking　in　which　he　was　concerned；　but　he　could　get　no　answer　of　any　description　whatever　…　at　which　he　said　he　was　very　disappointed　and　was　afraid　there　was　not　much　in　table…turning　after　all。　　I　thought　this　rather　selfish　of　him。　The　seance　was　very　similar　to　the　one　last　night；　almost　the　same　in　fact。　　So　we　turned　to　the　letter。　　〃Lina〃　took　a　long　time　answering　the　question；　but　eventually　spelt　out　〃ROSES；　LILIES；　AND　COWS。〃　　There　was　great　rocking　of　the　table　at　this　time；　and　Mrs。　James　said：　　〃If　that　is　Captain　Drinkwater；　let　us　ask　him　the　answer　as　well？〃

It　was　the　spirit　of　the　Captain；　and；　most　singular；　he　gave　the　same　identical　answer：　　〃ROSES；　LILIES；　AND　COWS。〃

I　cannot　describe　the　agitation　with　which　Carrie　broke　the　seal；　or　the　disappointment　we　felt　on　reading　the　question；　to　which　the　answer　was　so　inappropriate。　　The　question　was；　〃WHAT'S　OLD　POOTER'S　AGE？〃

This　quite　decided　me。

As　I　had　put　my　foot　down　on　Spiritualism　years　ago；　so　I　would　again。

I　am　pretty　easy…going　as　a　rule；　but　I　can　be　extremely　firm　when　driven　to　it。

I　said　slowly；　as　I　turned　up　the　gas：　　〃This　is　the　last　of　this　nonsense　that　shall　ever　take　place　under　my　roof。　　I　regret　I　permitted　myself　to　be　a　party　to　such　tomfoolery。　　If　there　is　anything　in　it　…　which　I　doubt　…　it　is　nothing　of　any　good；　and　I　WON'T　HAVE　IT　AGAIN。　　That　is　enough。〃

Mrs。　James　said：　　〃I　think；　Mr。　Pooter；　you　are　rather　over…　stepping　…　〃

I　said：　　〃Hush；　madam。　　I　am　master　of　this　house　…　please　understand　that。〃

Mrs。　James　made　an　observation　which　I　sincerely　hope　I　was　mistaken　in。　　I　was　in　such　a　rage　I　could　not　quite　catch　what　she　said。　　But　if　I　thought　she　said　what　it　sounded　like；　she　should　never　enter　the　house　again。



CHAPTER　XXIII。



Lupin　leaves　us。　　We　dine　at　his　new　apartments；　and　hear　some　extraordinary　information　respecting　the　wealth　of　Mr。　Murray　Posh。　Meet　Miss　Lilian　Posh。　　Am　sent　for　by　Mr。　Hardfur　Huttle。　Important。


July　1。　…　I　find；　on　looking　over　my　diary；　nothing　of　any　consequence　has　taken　place　during　the　last　month。　　To…day　we　lose　Lupin；　who　has　taken　furnished　apartments　at　Bayswater；　near　his　friends；　Mr。　and　Mrs。　Murray　Posh；　at　two　guineas　a　week。　　I　think　this　is　most　extravagant　of　him；　as　it　is　half　his　salary。　　Lupin　says　one　never　loses　by　a　good　address；　and；　to　use　his　own　expression；　Brickfield　Terrace　is　a　bit　〃off。〃　　Whether　he　means　it　is　〃far　off〃　I　do　not　know。　　I　have　long　since　given　up　trying　to　understand　his　curious　expressions。　　I　said　the　neighbourhood　had　always　been　good　enough　for　his　parents。　　His　reply　was：　　〃It　is　no　question　of　being　good　or　bad。　　There　is　no　money　in　it；　and　I　am　not　going　to　rot　away　my　life　in　the　suburbs。〃

We　are　sorry　to　lose　him；　but　perhaps　he　will　get　on　better　by　himself；　and　there　may　be　some　truth　in　his　remark　that　an　old　and　a　young　horse　can't　pull　together　in　the　same　cart。

Gowing　called；　and　said　that　the　house　seemed　quite　peaceful；　and　like　old　times。　　He　liked　Master　Lupin　very　well；　but　he　occasionally　suffered　from　what　he　could　not　help　…　youth。

July　2。　…　Cummings　called；　looked　very　pale；　and　said　he　had　been　very　ill　again；　and　of　course　not　a　single　friend　had　been　near　him。　　Carrie　said　she　had　never　heard　of　it；　whereupon　he　threw　down　a　copy　of　the　BICYCLE　NEWS　on　the　table；　with　the　following　paragraph：　　〃We　regret　to　hear　that　that　favourite　old　roadster；　Mr。　Cummings　（'Long'　Cummings）；　has　met　with　what　might　have　been　a　serious　accident　in　Rye　Lane。　　A　mischievous　boy　threw　a　stick　between　the　spokes　of　one　of　the　back　wheels；　and　the　machine　overturned；　bringing　our　brother　tricyclist　heavily　to　the　ground。　Fortunately　he　was　more　frightened　than　hurt；　but　we　missed　his　merry　face　at　the　dinner　at　Chingford；　where　they　turned　up　in　good　numbers。　　'Long'　Cummings'　health　was　proposed　by　our　popular　Vice；　Mr。　Westropp；　the　prince　of　bicyclists；　who　in　his　happiest　vein　said　it　was　a　case　of　'CUMMING（s）　thro'　the　RYE；　but　fortunately　there　was　more　WHEEL　than　WOE；'　a　joke　which　created　roars　of　laughter。〃

We　all　said　we　were　very　sorry；　and　pressed　Cummings　to　stay　to　supper。　　Cummings　said　it　was　like　old　times　being　without　Lupin；　and　he　was　much　better　away。

July　3；　Sunday。　…　In　the　afternoon；　as　I　was　looking　out　of　the　parlour　window；　which　was　open；　a　grand　trap；　driven　by　a　lady；　with　a　gentleman　seated　by　the　side　of　her；　stopped　at　our　door。　Not　wishing　to　be　seen；　I　withdrew　my　head　very　quickly；　knocking　the　back　of　it　violently　against　the　sharp　edge　of　the　window…sash。　I　was　nearly　stunned。　　There　was　a　loud　double…knock　at　the　front　door；　Carrie　rushed　out　of　the　parlour；　upstairs　to　her　room；　and　I　followed；　as　Carrie　thought　it　was　Mr。　Perkupp。　　I　thought　it　was　Mr。　Franching。　…　I　whispered　to　Sarah　over　the　banisters：　　〃Show　them　into　the　drawing…room。〃　　Sarah　said；　as　the　shutters　were　not　opened；　the　room　would　smell　musty。　　There　was　another　loud　rat…　tat。　　I　whispered：　　〃Then　show　them　into　the　parlour；　and　say　Mr。　Pooter　will　be　down　directly。〃　　I　changed　my　coat；　but　could　not　see　to　do　my　hair；　as　Carrie　was　occupying　the　glass。

Sarah　came　up；　and　said　it　was　Mrs。　Murray　Posh　and　Mr。　Lupin。

This　was　quite　a　relief。　　I　went　down　with　Carrie；　and　Lupin　met　me　with　the　remark：　　〃I　say；　what　did　you　run　away　from　the　window　for？　　Did　we　frighten　you？〃

I　foolishly　said：　　〃What　window？〃

Lupin　said：　　〃Oh；　you　know。　　Shut　it。　　You　looked　as　if　you　were　playing　at　Punch　and　Judy。〃

On　Carrie　asking　if　she　could　offer　them　anything；　Lupin　said：　〃Oh；　I　think　Daisy　will　take　on　a　cup　of　tea。　　I　can　do　with　a　B。　and　S。〃

I　said：　　〃I　am　afraid　we　have　no　soda。〃

Lupin　said：　　〃Don't　bother　about　that。　　You　just　trip　out　and　hold　the　horse；　I　don't　think　Sarah　understands　it。〃

They　stayed　a　very　short　time；　and　as　they　were　leaving；　Lupin　said：　　〃I　want　you　both　to　come　and　dine　with　me　next　Wednesday；　and　see　my　new　place。　　Mr。　and　Mrs。　Murray　Posh；　Miss　Posh　（Murray's　sister）　are　coming。　　Eight　o'clock　sharp。　　No　one　else。〃

I　said　we　did　not　pretend　to　be　fashionable　people；　and　would　like　the　dinner　earlier；　as　it　made　it　so　late　before　we　got　home。

Lupin　said：　　〃Rats！　　You　must　get　used　to　it。　　If　it　comes　to　that；　Daisy　and　I　can　drive　you　home。〃

We　promised　to　go；　but　I　must　say　in　my　simple　mind　the　familiar　way　in　which　Mrs。　Posh　and　Lupin　addressed　each　other　is　reprehensible。　　Anybody　would　think　they　had　been　children　together。　　I　certainly　should　object　to　a　six　months'　acquaintance　calling　MY　wife　〃Carrie；〃　and　driving　out　with　her。

July　4。　…　Lupin's　rooms　looked　very　nice；　but　the　dinner　was；　I　thought；　a　little　too　grand；　especially　as　he　commenced　with　champagne　straight　off。　　I　also　think　Lupin　might　have　told　us　that　he　and　Mr。　and　Mrs。　Murray　Posh　and　Miss　Posh　were　going　to　put　on　full　evening　dress。　　Knowing　that　the　dinner　was　only　for　us　six；　we　never　dreamed　it　would　be　a　full　dress　affair。　　I　had　no　appetite。　　It　was　quite　twenty　minutes　past　eight　before　we　sat　down　to　dinner。　　At　six　I　could　have　eaten　a　hearty　meal。　　I　had　a　bit　of　bread…and…butter　at　that　hour；　feeling　famished；　and　I　expect　that　partly　spoiled　my　appetite。

We　were　introduced　to　Miss　Posh；　whom　Lupin　called　〃Little　Girl；〃　as　if　he　had　known　her　all　his　life。　　She　was　very　tall；　rather　plain；　and