a confession(忏悔录)-第6章

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and　self…destruction　of　the　will　all　those　phenomena　also

disappear；　that　constant　striving　and　effort　without　aim　or　rest　on

all　the　stages　of　objectivity　in　which　and　through　which　the　world

exists；　the　diversity　of　successive　forms　will　disappear；　and

together　with　the　form　all　the　manifestations　of　will；　with　its

most　universal　forms；　space　and　time；　and　finally　its　most

fundamental　form　　subject　and　object。　　Without　will　there　is　no

concept　and　no　world。　　Before　us；　certainly；　nothing　remains。　　But

what　resists　this　transition　into　annihilation；　our　nature；　is　only

that　same　wish　to　live　　*Wille　zum　Leben*　　which　forms

ourselves　as　well　as　our　world。　　That　we　are　so　afraid　of

annihilation　or；　what　is　the　same　thing；　that　we　so　wish　to　live；

merely　means　that　we　are　ourselves　nothing　else　but　this　desire　to

live；　and　know　nothing　but　it。　　And　so　what　remains　after　the

complete　annihilation　of　the　will；　for　us　who　are　so　full　of　the

will；　is；　of　course；　nothing；　but　on　the　other　hand；　for　those　in

whom　the　will　has　turned　and　renounced　itself；　this　so　real　world

of　ours　with　all　its　suns　and　milky　way　is　nothing。〃

　　　　　〃Vanity　of　vanities〃；　says　Solomon　　〃vanity　of　vanities　

all　is　vanity。　　What　profit　hath　a　man　of　all　his　labor　which　he

taketh　under　the　sun？　　One　generation　passeth　away；　and　another

generation　commeth：　but　the　earth　abideth　for　ever。。。。The　thing

that　hath　been；　is　that　which　shall　be；　and　that　which　is　done　is

that　which　shall　be　done：　and　there　is　no　new　thing　under　the　sun。　

Is　there　anything　whereof　it　may　be　said；　See；　this　is　new？　it　hath

been　already　of　old　time；　which　was　before　us。　　there　is　no

remembrance　of　former　things；　neither　shall　there　be　any

remembrance　of　things　that　are　to　come　with　those　that　shall　come

after。　　I　the　Preacher　was　King　over　Israel　in　Jerusalem。　　And　I

gave　my　heart　to　seek　and　search　out　by　wisdom　concerning　all　that

is　done　under　heaven：　　this　sore　travail　hath　God　given　to　the　sons

of　man　to　be　exercised　therewith。　　I　have　seen　all　the　works　that

are　done　under　the　sun；　and　behold；　all　is　vanity　and　vexation　of

spirit。。。。I　communed　with　my　own　heart；　saying；　Lo；　I　am　come　to

great　estate；　and　have　gotten　more　wisdom　than　all　they　that　have

been　before　me　over　Jerusalem：　yea；　my　heart　hath　great　experience

of　wisdom　and　knowledge。　　And　I　gave　my　heart　to　know　wisdom；　and

to　know　madness　and　folly：　I　perceived　that　this　also　is　vexation

of　spirit。　　For　in　much　wisdom　is　much　grief：　and　he　that

increaseth　knowledge　increaseth　sorrow。

　　　　　〃I　said　in　my　heart；　Go　to　now；　I　will　prove　thee　with　mirth；

therefore　enjoy　pleasure：　and　behold　this　also　is　vanity。　I　said　of

laughter；　It　is　mad：　　and　of　mirth；　What　doeth　it？　　I　sought　in　my

heart　how　to　cheer　my　flesh　with　wine；　and　while　my　heart　was

guided　by　wisdom；　to　lay　hold　on　folly；　till　I　might　see　what　it

was　good　for　the　sons　of　men　that　they　should　do　under　heaven　the

number　of　the　days　of　their　life。　　I　made　me　great　works；　I　builded

me　houses；　I　planted　me　vineyards；　I　made　me　gardens　and　orchards；

and　I　planted　trees　in　them　of　all　kinds　of　fruits：　I　made　me　pools

of　water；　to　water　therefrom　the　forest　where　trees　were　reared：　I

got　me　servants　and　maidens；　and　had　servants　born　in　my　house；

also　I　had　great　possessions　of　herds　and　flocks　above　all　that

were　before　me　in　Jerusalem：　I　gathered　me　also　silver　and　gold　and

the　peculiar　treasure　from　kings　and　from　the　provinces：　I　got　me

men　singers　and　women　singers；　and　the　delights　of　the　sons　of　men；

as　musical　instruments　and　all　that　of　all　sorts。　　So　I　was　great；

and　increased　more　than　all　that　were　before　me　in　Jerusalem：　also

my　wisdom　remained　with　me。　　And　whatever　mine　eyes　desired　I　kept

not　from　them。　　I　withheld　not　my　heart　from　any　joy。。。。Then　I

looked　on　all　the　works　that　my　hands　had　wrought；　and　on　the

labour　that　I　had　laboured　to　do：　and；　behold；　all　was　vanity　and

vexation　of　spirit；　and　there　was　no　profit　from　them　under　the

sun。　　And　I　turned　myself　to　behold　wisdom；　and　madness；　and

folly。。。。　But　I　perceived　that　one　even　happeneth　to　them　all。　

Then　said　I　in　my　heart；　As　it　happeneth　to　the　fool；　so　it

happeneth　even　to　me；　and　why　was　I　then　more　wise？　　then　I　said　in

my　heart；　that　this　also　is　vanity。　　For　there　is　no　remembrance　of

the　wise　more　than　of　the　fool　for　ever；　seeing　that　which　now　is

in　the　days　to　come　shall　all　be　forgotten。　　And　how　dieth　the　wise

man？　as　the　fool。　　Therefore　I　hated　life；　because　the　work　that　is

wrought　under　the　sun　is　grievous　unto　me：　for　all　is　vanity　and

vexation　of　spirit。　　Yea；　I　hated　all　my　labour　which　I　had　taken

under　the　sun：　seeing　that　I　must　leave　it　unto　the　man　that　shall

be　after　me。。。。　For　what　hath　　man　of　all　his　labour；　and　of　the

vexation　of　his　heart；　wherein　he　hath　laboured　under　the　sun？　　For

all　his　days　are　sorrows；　and　his　travail　grief；　yea；　even　in　the

night　his　heart　taketh　no　rest。　　this　is　also　vanity。　　Man　is　not

blessed　with　security　that　he　should　eat　and　drink　and　cheer　his

soul　from　his　own　labour。。。。　All　things　come　alike　to　all：　there　is

one　event　to　the　righteous　and　to　the　wicked；　to　the　good　and　to

the　evil；　to　the　clean　and　to　the　unclean；　to　him　that　sacrificeth

and　to　him　that　sacrificeth　not；　as　is　the　good；　so　is　the　sinner；

and　he　that　sweareth；　as　he　that　feareth　an　oath。　　This　is　an　evil

in　all　that　is　done　under　the　sun；　that　there　is　one　event　unto

all；　yea；　also　the　heart　of　the　sons　of　men　is　full　of　evil；　and

madness　is　in　their　heart　while　they　live；　and　after　that　they　go

to　the　dead。　　For　him　that　is　among　the　living　there　is　hope：　for

a　living　dog　is　better　than　a　dead　lion。　　For　the　living　know　that

they　shall　die：　but　the　dead　know　not　any　thing；　neither　have　they

any　more　a　reward；　for　the　memory　of　them　is　forgotten。　　also　their

love；　and　their　hatred；　and　their　envy；　is　now　perished；　neither

have　they　any　more　a　portion　for　ever　in　any　thing　that　is　done

under　the　sun。〃

　　　　　So　said　Solomon；　or　whoever　wrote　those　words。　　＇Footnote：

tolstoy's　version　differs　slightly　in　a　few　places　from　our　own

Authorized　or　Revised　version。　　I　have　followed　his　text；　for　in　a

letter　to　Fet；　quoted　on　p。　18；　vol。　ii；　of　my　〃Life　of　Tolstoy；〃

he　says　that　〃The　Authorized　English　version　＇of　Ecclesiastes＇　is

bad。〃　　A。M。＇

　　　　　And　this　is　what　the　Indian　wisdom　tells：

　　　　　Sakya　Muni；　a　young；　happy　prince；　from　whom　the　existence　of

sickness；　old　age；　and　death　had　been　hidden；　went　out　to　drive　and

saw　a　terrible　old　man；　toothless　and　slobbering。　　the　prince；　from

whom　till　then　old　age　had　been　concealed；　was　amazed；　and　asked

his　driver　what　it　was；　and　how　that　man　had　come　to　such　a

wretched　and　disgusting　condition；　and　when　he　learnt　that　this　was

the　common　fate　of　all　men；　that　the　same　thing　inevitably　awaited

him　　the　young　prince　　he　could　not　continue　his　drive；　but

gave　orders　to　go　home；　that　he　might　consider　this　fact。　　So　he

shut　himself　up　alone　and　considered　it。　　and　he　probably　devised

some　consolation　for　himself；　for　he　subsequently　again　went　out　to

drive；　feeling　merry　and　happy。　　But　this　time　he　saw　a　sick　man。　

He　saw　an　emaciated；　livid；　trembling　man　with　dim　eyes。　　The

prince；　from　whom　sickness　had　been　concealed；　stopped　and　asked

what　this　was。　　And　when　he　learnt　that　this　was　sickness；　to　which

all　men　are　liable；　and　that　he　himself　　a　healthy　and　happy

prince　　might　himself　fall　ill　tomorrow；　he　again　was　in　no　mood

to　enjoy　himself　but　gave　orders　to　drive　home；　and　again　sought

some　solace；　and　probably　found　it；　for　he　drove　out　a　third　time

for　pleasure。　　But　this　third　time　he　saw　another　new　sight：　he　saw

men　carrying　something。　　'What　is　that？'　　'A　dead　man。'　　'What　does

*dead*　mean？'　asked　the　prince。　　He　was　told　that　to　become　dead

means　to　become　like　that　man。　　The　prince　approached　the　corpse；

uncovered　it；　and　looked　at　it。　　'What　will　happen　to　him　now？'

asked　the　prince。　　He　was　told　that　the　corpse　would　be　buried　in

the　ground。　　'Why？'　　'Because　he　will　certainly　not　return　to　life；

and　will　only　produce　a　stench　and　worms。'　　'And　is　that　the　fate

of　all　men？　　Will　the　same　thing　happen　to　me？　　Will　they　bury　me；

and　shall　I　cause　a　stench　and　be　eaten　by　worms？'　　'Yes。'　　'Home！　

I　shall　not　drive　out　for　pleasure；　and　never　will　so　drive　out

again！'

　　　　　And　Sakya　Muni　could　find　no　consolation　in　life；　and　decided

that　life　is　the　greatest　of　evils；　and　he　devoted　all　the　strength

of　his　soul　to　free　himself　from　it；　and　to　free　others；　and　to　do

this　so　that；　even　after　death；　life　shall　not　be　renewed　any　more

but　be　completely　destroyed　at　its　very　roots。　　So　speaks　all　the

wisdom　of　India。

　　　　　These　are　the　direct　replies　that　human　wisdom　gives　when　it

replies　to　life's　question。

　　　　　〃The　life　of　the　body　is　an　evil　and　a　lie。　　Therefore　the

destruction　of　the　life　of　the　body　is　a　blessing；　and　we　should

desire　it；〃　says　Socrates。

　　　　　〃Life　is　that　which　should　not　be　　an　evil；　and　the　passage

into　Nothingness　is　the　only　good　in　life；〃　says　Schopenhauer。

　　　　　〃All　that　is　in　the　world　　folly　and　wisdom　and　riches　and

poverty　and　mirth　and　grief　　is　vanity　and　emptiness。　　Man　dies

and　nothing　is　left　of　him。　　And　that　is　stupid；〃　says　Solomon。

　　　　　〃To　life　in　the　consciousness　of　the　inevitability　of

suffering；　of　becoming　enfeebled；　of　old　age　and　of　death；　is

impossible　　we　must　free　ourselves　from　life；　from　all　possible

life；〃　says　Buddha。

　　　　　And　what　these　strong　minds　said　has　been　said　and　thought　and

felt　by　millions　upon　millions　of　people　like　them。　　And　I　have

thought　it　and　felt　it。

　　　　　So　my　wandering　among　the　sciences；　far　from　freeing　me　from

my　despair；　only　strengthened　it。　　One　kind　of　knowledge　did　not

reply　to　life's　question；　the　other　kind　replied　directly

confirming　my　despair；　indicating　not　that　the　result　at　which　I

had　arrived　was　the　fruit　of　error　or　of　a　diseased　state　of　my

mind；　but　on　the　contrary　that　I　had　thought　correctly；　and　that　my

thoughts　coincided　with　the　conclusions　of　the　most　powerful　of

human　minds。

　　　　　It　is　no　good　deceiving　oneself。　It　is　all　　vanity！　　Happy

is　he　who　has　not　been　born：　　death　is　better　than　life；　and　one

must　free　oneself　from　life。





　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　VII



　　　　　Not　finding　an　explanation　in　science　I　began　to　seek　for　it

in　life；　hoping　to　find　it　among　the　people　around　me。　　And　I　began

to　observe　how　the　people　around　me　　people　like　myself　　lived；

and　what　their　attitude　was　to　this　question　which　had　brought　me

to　despair。

　　　　　And　this　is　what　I　found　among　people　who　were　in　the　same

position　as　myself　as　regards　education　and　manner　of　life。

　　　　　I　found　that　for　people　of　my　circle　there　were　four　ways　out

of　the　terrible　position　in　which　we　are　all　placed。

　　　　　The　first　was　th