white fang(白牙)-第12章
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exchange for pottage。
So the grey cub knew fear； though he knew not the stuff of which fear
was made。 Possibly he accepted it as one of the restrictions of life。 For he
had already learned that there were such restrictions。 Hunger he had
known； and when he could not appease his hunger he had felt restriction。
The hard obstruction of the cave…wall； the sharp nudge of his mother's
nose； the smashing stroke of her paw； the hunger unappeased of several
famines； had borne in upon him that all was not freedom in the world； that
to life there was limitations and restraints。 These limitations and restraints
were laws。 To be obedient to them was to escape hurt and make for
happiness。
He did not reason the question out in this man fashion。 He merely
classified the things that hurt and the things that did not hurt。 And after
such classification he avoided the things that hurt； the restrictions and
restraints； in order to enjoy the satisfactions and the remunerations of life。
Thus it was that in obedience to the law laid down by his mother； and
in obedience to the law of that unknown and nameless thing； fear； he kept
away from the mouth of the cave。 It remained to him a white wall of light。
When his mother was absent； he slept most of the time； while during the
intervals that he was awake he kept very quiet； suppressing the
whimpering cries that tickled in his throat and strove for noise。
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Once； lying awake； he heard a strange sound in the white wall。 He did
not know that it was a wolverine； standing outside； all a… trembling with its
own daring； and cautiously scenting out the contents of the cave。 The cub
knew only that the sniff was strange； a something unclassified； therefore
unknown and terrible … for the unknown was one of the chief elements that
went into the making of fear。
The hair bristled upon the grey cub's back； but it bristled silently。 How
was he to know that this thing that sniffed was a thing at which to bristle？
It was not born of any knowledge of his； yet it was the visible expression
of the fear that was in him； and for which； in his own life； there was no
accounting。 But fear was accompanied by another instinct … that of
concealment。 The cub was in a frenzy of terror； yet he lay without
movement or sound； frozen； petrified into immobility； to all appearances
dead。 His mother； coming home； growled as she smelt the wolverine's
track； and bounded into the cave and licked and nozzled him with undue
vehemence of affection。 And the cub felt that somehow he had escaped a
great hurt。
But there were other forces at work in the cub； the greatest of which
was growth。 Instinct and law demanded of him obedience。 But growth
demanded disobedience。 His mother and fear impelled him to keep away
from the white wall。 Growth is life； and life is for ever destined to make
for light。 So there was no damming up the tide of life that was rising
within him … rising with every mouthful of meat he swallowed； with every
breath he drew。 In the end； one day； fear and obedience were swept away
by the rush of life； and the cub straddled and sprawled toward the
entrance。
Unlike any other wall with which he had had experience； this wall
seemed to recede from him as he approached。 No hard surface collided
with the tender little nose he thrust out tentatively before him。 The
substance of the wall seemed as permeable and yielding as light。 And as
condition； in his eyes； had the seeming of form； so he entered into what
had been wall to him and bathed in the substance that composed it。
It was bewildering。 He was sprawling through solidity。 And ever the
light grew brighter。 Fear urged him to go back； but growth drove him on。
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Suddenly he found himself at the mouth of the cave。 The wall； inside
which he had thought himself； as suddenly leaped back before him to an
immeasurable distance。 The light had become painfully bright。 He was
dazzled by it。 Likewise he was made dizzy by this abrupt and tremendous
extension of space。 Automatically； his eyes were adjusting themselves to
the brightness； focusing themselves to meet the increased distance of
objects。 At first； the wall had leaped beyond his vision。 He now saw it
again； but it had taken upon itself a remarkable remoteness。 Also； its
appearance had changed。 It was now a variegated wall； composed of the
trees that fringed the stream； the opposing mountain that towered above
the trees； and the sky that out…towered the mountain。
A great fear came upon him。 This was more of the terrible unknown。
He crouched down on the lip of the cave and gazed out on the world。 He
was very much afraid。 Because it was unknown； it was hostile to him。
Therefore the hair stood up on end along his back and his lips wrinkled
weakly in an attempt at a ferocious and intimidating snarl。 Out of his
puniness and fright he challenged and menaced the whole wide world。
Nothing happened。 He continued to gaze； and in his interest he forgot
to snarl。 Also； he forgot to be afraid。 For the time； fear had been routed by
growth； while growth had assumed the guise of curiosity。 He began to
notice near objects … an open portion of the stream that flashed in the sun；
the blasted pine…tree that stood at the base of the slope； and the slope itself；
that ran right up to him and ceased two feet beneath the lip of the cave on
which he crouched。
Now the grey cub had lived all his days on a level floor。 He had never
experienced the hurt of a fall。 He did not know what a fall was。 So he
stepped boldly out upon the air。 His hind…legs still rested on the cave…lip；
so he fell forward head downward。 The earth struck him a harsh blow on
the nose that made him yelp。 Then he began rolling down the slope； over
and over。 He was in a panic of terror。 The unknown had caught him at last。
It had gripped savagely hold of him and was about to wreak upon him
some terrific hurt。 Growth was now routed by fear； and he ki…yi'd like any
frightened puppy。
The unknown bore him on he knew not to what frightful hurt； and he
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yelped and ki…yi'd unceasingly。 This was a different proposition from
crouching in frozen fear while the unknown lurked just alongside。 Now
the unknown had caught tight hold of him。 Silence would do no good。
Besides； it was not fear； but terror； that convulsed him。
But the slope grew more gradual； and its base was grass…covered。 Here
the cub lost momentum。 When at last he came to a stop； he gave one last
agonised yell and then a long； whimpering wail。 Also； and quite as a
matter of course； as though in his life he had already made a thousand
toilets； he proceeded to lick away the dry clay that soiled him。
After that he sat up and gazed about him； as might the first man of the
earth who landed upon Mars。 The cub had broken through the wall of the
world； the unknown had let go its hold of him； and here he was without
hurt。 But the first man on Mars would have experienced less unfamiliarity
than did he。 Without any antecedent knowledge； without any warning
whatever that such existed； he found himself an explorer in a totally new
world。
Now that the terrible unknown had let go of him； he forgot that the
unknown had any terrors。 He was aware only of curiosity in all the things
about him。 He inspected the grass beneath him； the moss… berry plant just
beyond； and the dead trunk of the blasted pine that stood on the edge of an
open space among the trees。 A squirrel； running around the base of the
trunk； came full upon him； and gave him a great fright。 He cowered down
and snarled。 But the squirrel was as badly scared。 It ran up the tree； and
from a point of safety chattered back savagely。
This helped the cub's courage； and though the woodpecker he next
encountered gave him a start； he proceeded confidently on his way。 Such
was his confidence； that when a moose…bird impudently hopped up to him；
he reached out at it with a playful paw。 The result was a sharp peck on the
end of his nose that made him cower down and ki…yi。 The noise he made
was too much for the moose…bird； who sought safety in flight。
But the cub was learning。 His misty little mind had already made an
unconscious classification。 There were live things and things not alive。
Also； he must watch out for the live things。 The things not alive remained
always in one place； but the live things moved about； and there was no
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telling what they might do。 The thing to expect of them was the
unexpected； and for this he must be prepared。
He travelled very clumsily。 He ran into sticks and things。 A twig that
he thought a long way off； would the next instant hit him on the nose or
rake along his ribs。 There were inequalities of surface。 Sometimes he
overstepped and stubbed his nose。 Quite as often he understepped and
stubbed his feet。 Then there were the pebbles and stones that turned under
him when he trod upon them； and from them he came to know that the
things not alive were not all in the same state of stable equilibrium as was
his cave … also； that small things not alive were more liable than large
things to fall down or turn over。 But with every mishap he was learning。
The longer he walked； the better he walked。 He was adjusting himself。 He
was learning to calculate his own muscular movements； to
