beasts and super-beasts(野兽与超级野兽)-第15章
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might have animated a general of ancient warfaring days； on beholding
his heaviest battle…elephant ignominiously driven off the field by
slingers and javelin throwers。
At dinner that evening； although reinforced by her husband； who
usually duplicated her opinions and lent her moral support generally；
Mrs。 Quabarl regained none of her lost ground。 The governess not only
helped herself well and truly to wine； but held forth with considerable
show of critical knowledge on various vintage matters； concerning
which the Quabarls were in no wise able to pose as authorities。
Previous governesses had limited their conversation on the wine topic to
a respectful and doubtless sincere expression of a preference for water。
When this one went as far as to recommend a wine firm in whose hands
you could not go very far wrong Mrs。 Quabarl thought it time to turn the
conversation into more usual channels。
〃We got very satisfactory references about you from Canon Teep；〃
she observed； 〃a very estimable man； I should think。〃
〃Drinks like a fish and beats his wife； otherwise a very lovable
character；〃 said the governess imperturbably。
〃MY DEAR Miss Hope！ I trust you are exaggerating；〃 exclaimed
the Quabarls in unison。
〃One must in justice admit that there is some provocation；〃
continued the romancer。 〃Mrs。 Teep is quite the most irritating bridge…
player that I have ever sat down with； her leads and declarations would
condone a certain amount of brutality in her partner； but to souse her
with the contents of the only soda…water syphon in the house on a
Sunday afternoon； when one couldn't get another； argues an indifference
to the comfort of others which I cannot altogether overlook。 You may
think me hasty in my judgments； but it was practically on account of
the syphon incident that I left。〃
〃We will talk of this some other time；〃 said Mrs。 Quabarl hastily。
〃I shall never allude to it again；〃 said the governess with decision。
Mr。 Quabarl made a welcome diversion by asking what studies the
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new instructress proposed to inaugurate on the morrow。
〃History to begin with；〃 she informed him。
〃Ah； history；〃 he observed sagely； 〃now in teaching them history you
must take care to interest them in what they learn。 You must make
them feel that they are being introduced to the life…stories of men and
women who really lived … 〃
〃I've told her all that；〃 interposed Mrs。 Quabarl。
〃I teach history on the Schartz…Metterklume method；〃 said the
governess loftily。
〃Ah； yes；〃 said her listeners； thinking it expedient to assume an
acquaintance at least with the name。
* * * *
〃What are you children doing out here？〃 demanded Mrs。 Quabarl
the next morning； on finding Irene sitting rather glumly at the head of
the stairs； while her sister was perched in an attitude of depressed
discomfort on the window…seat behind her； with a wolf…skin rug almost
covering her。
〃We are having a history lesson；〃 came the unexpected reply。 〃I am
supposed to be Rome； and Viola up there is the she…wolf； not a real wolf；
but the figure of one that the Romans used to set store by … I forget
why。 Claude and Wilfrid have gone to fetch the shabby women。〃
〃The shabby women？〃
〃Yes； they've got to carry them off。 They didn't want to； but Miss
Hope got one of father's fives…bats and said she'd give them a number
nine spanking if they didn't； so they've gone to do it。〃
A loud； angry screaming from the direction of the lawn drew Mrs。
Quabarl thither in hot haste； fearful lest the threatened castigation might
even now be in process of infliction。 The outcry； however； came
principally from the two small daughters of the lodge…keeper； who
were being hauled and pushed towards the house by the panting and
dishevelled Claude and Wilfrid； whose task was rendered even more
arduous by the incessant； if not very effectual； attacks of the captured
maidens' small brother。 The governess； fives…bat in hand； sat
negligently on the stone balustrade； presiding over the scene with the
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cold impartiality of a Goddess of Battles。 A furious and repeated chorus
of 〃I'll tell muvver〃 rose from the lodge…children； but the lodge…mother；
who was hard of hearing； was for the moment immersed in the
preoccupation of her washtub。
After an apprehensive glance in the direction of the lodge （the good
woman was gifted with the highly militant temper which is sometimes
the privilege of deafness） Mrs。 Quabarl flew indignantly to the rescue of
the struggling captives。
〃Wilfrid！ Claude！ Let those children go at once。 Miss Hope；
what on earth is the meaning of this scene？〃
〃Early Roman history； the Sabine Women； don't you know？ It's the
Schartz…Metterklume method to make children understand history by
acting it themselves； fixes it in their memory； you know。 Of course； if；
thanks to your interference； your boys go through life thinking that the
Sabine women ultimately escaped； I really cannot be held responsible。〃
〃You may be very clever and modern； Miss Hope；〃 said Mrs。
Quabarl firmly； 〃but I should like you to leave here by the next train。
Your luggage will be sent after you as soon as it arrives。〃
〃I'm not certain exactly where I shall be for the next few days；〃 said
the dismissed instructress of youth； 〃you might keep my luggage till I
wire my address。 There are only a couple of trunks and some golf…
clubs and a leopard cub。〃
〃A leopard cub！〃 gasped Mrs。 Quabarl。 Even in her departure this
extraordinary person seemed destined to leave a trail of embarrassment
behind her。
〃Well； it's rather left off being a cub； it's more than half…grown； you
know。 A fowl every day and a rabbit on Sundays is what it usually gets。
Raw beef makes it too excitable。 Don't trouble about getting the car for
me； I'm rather inclined for a walk。〃
And Lady Carlotta strode out of the Quabarl horizon。
The advent of the genuine Miss Hope； who had made a mistake as to
the day on which she was due to arrive； caused a turmoil which that
good lady was quite unused to inspiring。 Obviously the Quabarl family
had been woefully befooled； but a certain amount of relief came with
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the knowledge。
〃How tiresome for you； dear Carlotta；〃 said her hostess； when the
overdue guest ultimately arrived； 〃how very tiresome losing your train
and having to stop overnight in a strange place。〃
〃Oh dear； no；〃 said Lady Carlotta； 〃not at all tiresome … for me。〃
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THE SEVENTH PULLET
〃IT'S not the daily grind that I complain of；〃 said Blenkinthrope
resentfully； 〃it's the dull grey sameness of my life outside of office hours。
Nothing of interest comes my way； nothing remarkable or out of the
common。 Even the little things that I do try to find some interest in
don't seem to interest other people。 Things in my garden； for instance。〃
〃The potato that weighed just over two pounds；〃 said his friend
Gorworth。
〃Did I tell you about that？〃 said Blenkinthrope； 〃I was telling the
others in the train this morning。 I forgot if I'd told you。〃
〃To be exact you told me that it weighed just under two pounds； but I
took into account the fact that abnormal vegetables and freshwater fish
have an after… life； in which growth is not arrested。〃
〃You're just like the others；〃 said Blenkinthrope sadly； 〃you only
make fun of it。〃
〃The fault is with the potato； not with us；〃 said Gorworth； 〃we are
not in the least interested in it because it is not in the least interesting。
The men you go up in the train with every day are just in the same case
as yourself； their lives are commonplace and not very interesting to
themselves； and they certainly are not going to wax enthusiastic over the
commonplace events in other men's lives。 Tell them something
startling； dramatic； piquant that has happened to yourself or to
someone in your family； and you will capture their interest at once。
They will talk about you with a certain personal pride to all their
acquaintances。 'Man I know intimately； fellow called Blenkinthrope；
lives down my way； had two of his fingers clawed clean off by a
lobster he was carrying home to supper。 Doctor says entire hand may
have to come off。' Now that is conversation of a very high order。 But
imagine walking into a tennis club with the r
