beasts and super-beasts(野兽与超级野兽)-第21章
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been snowing for the last hour。〃
〃I expect there'll be a cottage or farmhouse somewhere if they walk a
mile or two。〃
〃But why on earth have you done it？〃
The question came in a chorus of indignant bewilderment。
〃THAT would be telling what our characters are meant to be；〃 said
Vera。
〃Didn't I warn you？〃 said Sir Nicholas tragically to his wife。
〃It's something to do with Spanish history； we don't mind giving you
that clue；〃 said Skatterly； helping himself cheerfully to salad； and then
Bertie van Tahn broke forth into peals of joyous laughter。
〃I've got it！ Ferdinand and Isabella deporting the Jews！ Oh；
lovely！ Those two have certainly won the prize； we shan't get anything
to beat that for thoroughness。〃
Lady Blonze's Christmas party was talked about and written about to
an extent that she had not anticipated in her most ambitious moments。
The letters from Waldo's mother would alone have made it memorable。
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COUSIN TERESA
BASSET HARROWCLUFF returned to the home of his fathers；
after an absence of four years； distinctly well pleased with himself。 He
was only thirty…one； but he had put in some useful service in an out…of…
the…way； though not unimportant； corner of the world。 He had quieted
a province； kept open a trade route； enforced the tradition of respect
which is worth the ransom of many kings in out…of…the…way regions； and
done the whole business on rather less expenditure than would be
requisite for organising a charity in the home country。 In Whitehall
and places where they think； they doubtless thought well of him。 It was
not inconceivable； his father allowed himself to imagine； that Basset's
name might figure in the next list of Honours。
Basset was inclined to be rather contemptuous of his half…brother；
Lucas； whom he found feverishly engrossed in the same medley of
elaborate futilities that had claimed his whole time and energies； such as
they were； four years ago； and almost as far back before that as he
could remember。 It was the contempt of the man of action for the man
of activities； and it was probably reciprocated。 Lucas was an over…well
nourished individual； some nine years Basset's senior； with a colouring
that would have been accepted as a sign of intensive culture in an
asparagus； but probably meant in this case mere abstention from exercise。
His hair and forehead furnished a recessional note in a personality that
was in all other respects obtrusive and assertive。 There was certainly no
Semitic blood in Lucas's parentage； but his appearance contrived to
convey at least a suggestion of Jewish extraction。 Clovis Sangrail；
who knew most of his associates by sight； said it was undoubtedly a case
of protective mimicry。
Two days after Basset's return； Lucas frisked in to lunch in a state of
twittering excitement that could not be restrained even for the immediate
consideration of soup； but had to be verbally discharged in spluttering
competition with mouthfuls of vermicelli。
〃I've got hold of an idea for something immense；〃 he babbled；
〃something that is simply It。〃
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Basset gave a short laugh that would have done equally well as a
snort； if one had wanted to make the exchange。 His half…brother was in
the habit of discovering futilities that were 〃simply It〃 at frequently
recurring intervals。 The discovery generally meant that he flew up to
town； preceded by glowingly… worded telegrams； to see some one
connected with the stage or the publishing world； got together one or
two momentous luncheon parties； flitted in and out of 〃Gambrinus〃 for
one or two evenings； and returned home with an air of subdued
importance and the asparagus tint slightly intensified。 The great idea
was generally forgotten a few weeks later in the excitement of some new
discovery。
〃The inspiration came to me whilst I was dressing；〃 announced
Lucas； 〃it will be THE thing in the next music… hall REVUE。 All London
will go mad over it。 It's just a couplet； of course there will be other
words； but they won't matter。 Listen：
Cousin Teresa takes out Caesar； Fido； Jock； and the big borzoi。
A lifting； catchy sort of refrain； you see； and big… drum business on
the two syllables of bor…zoi。 It's immense。 And I've thought out all
the business of it； the singer will sing the first verse alone； then during
the second verse Cousin Teresa will walk through； followed by four
wooden dogs on wheels； Caesar will be an Irish terrier； Fido a black
poodle； Jock a fox…terrier； and the borzoi； of course； will be a borzoi。
During the third verse Cousin Teresa will come on alone； and the dogs
will be drawn across by themselves from the opposite wing； then Cousin
Teresa will catch on to the singer and go off…stage in one direction； while
the dogs' procession goes off in the other； crossing en route； which is
always very effective。 There'll be a lot of applause there； and for the
fourth verse Cousin Teresa will come on in sables and the dogs will all
have coats on。 Then I've got a great idea for the fifth verse； each of the
dogs will be led on by a Nut； and Cousin Teresa will come on from the
opposite side； crossing en route； always effective； and then she turns
round and leads the whole lot of them off on a string； and all the time
every one singing like mad：
Cousin Teresa takes out Caesar Fido； Jock； and the big borzoi。
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Tum…Tum！ Drum business on the two last syllables。 I'm so
excited； I shan't sleep a wink to…night。 I'm off to…morrow by the ten…
fifteen。 I've wired to Hermanova to lunch with me。〃
If any of the rest of the family felt any excitement over the creation
of Cousin Teresa； they were signally successful in concealing the fact。
〃Poor Lucas does take his silly little ideas seriously；〃 said Colonel
Harrowcluff afterwards in the smoking…room。
〃Yes；〃 said his younger son； in a slightly less tolerant tone； 〃in a day
or two he'll come back and tell us that his sensational masterpiece is
above the heads of the public； and in about three weeks' time he'll be
wild with enthusiasm over a scheme to dramatise the poems of Herrick
or something equally promising。〃
And then an extraordinary thing befell。 In defiance of all precedent
Lucas's glowing anticipations were justified and endorsed by the course
of events。 If Cousin Teresa was above the heads of the public； the
public heroically adapted itself to her altitude。 Introduced as an
experiment at a dull moment in a new REVUE； the success of the item
was unmistakable； the calls were so insistent and uproarious that even
Lucas' ample devisings of additional 〃business〃 scarcely sufficed to
keep pace with the demand。 Packed houses on successive evenings
confirmed the verdict of the first night audience； stalls and boxes filled
significantly just before the turn came on； and emptied significantly
after the last ENCORE had been given。 The manager tearfully
acknowledged that Cousin Teresa was It。 Stage hands and supers and
programme sellers acknowledged it to one another without the least
reservation。 The name of the REVUE dwindled to secondary
importance； and vast letters of electric blue blazoned the words 〃Cousin
Teresa〃 from the front of the great palace of pleasure。 And； of course；
the magic of the famous refrain laid its spell all over the Metropolis。
Restaurant proprietors were obliged to provide the members of their
orchestras with painted wooden dogs on wheels； in order that the
much…demanded and always conceded melody should be rendered with
the necessary spectacular effects； and the crash of bottles and forks on
the tables at the mention of the big borzoi usually drowned the sincerest
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efforts of drum or cymbals。 Nowhere and at no time could one get
away from the double thump that brought up the rear of the refrain；
revellers reeling home at night banged it on doors and hoardings；
milkmen clashed their cans to its cadence； messenger boys hit smaller
messenger boys resounding double smacks on the same principle。 And
the more thoughtful circles of the great city were not deaf to the claims
and significance of the popular melody。 An enterprising and
emancipated preacher discoursed from his pulpit on
