agnes grey(艾格尼丝·格累)-第1章
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AGNES GREY
AGNES GREY
By Anne Bronte
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AGNES GREY
CHAPTER I … THE PARSONAGE
ALL true histories contain instruction； though； in some； the treasure
may be hard to find； and when found； so trivial in quantity； that the dry；
shrivelled kernel scarcely compensates for the trouble of cracking the nut。
Whether this be the case with my history or not； I am hardly competent to
judge。 I sometimes think it might prove useful to some； and entertaining
to others； but the world may judge for itself。 Shielded by my own
obscurity； and by the lapse of years； and a few fictitious names； I do not
fear to venture； and will candidly lay before the public what I would not
disclose to the most intimate friend。
My father was a clergyman of the north of England； who was
deservedly respected by all who knew him； and； in his younger days； lived
pretty comfortably on the joint income of a small incumbency and a snug
little property of his own。 My mother； who married him against the
wishes of her friends； was a squire's daughter； and a woman of spirit。 In
vain it was represented to her； that if she became the poor parson's wife；
she must relinquish her carriage and her lady's…maid； and all the luxuries
and elegancies of affluence； which to her were little less than the
necessaries of life。 A carriage and a lady's…maid were great conveniences；
but； thank heaven； she had feet to carry her； and hands to minister to her
own necessities。 An elegant house and spacious grounds were not to be
despised； but she would rather live in a cottage with Richard Grey than in
a palace with any other man in the world。
Finding arguments of no avail； her father； at length； told the lovers
they might marry if they pleased； but； in so doing； his daughter would
forfeit every fraction of her fortune。 He expected this would cool the
ardour of both； but he was mistaken。 My father knew too well my
mother's superior worth not to be sensible that she was a valuable fortune
in herself： and if she would but consent to embellish his humble hearth
he should be happy to take her on any terms； while she； on her part； would
rather labour with her own hands than be divided from the man she loved；
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AGNES GREY
whose happiness it would be her joy to make； and who was already one
with her in heart and soul。 So her fortune went to swell the purse of a
wiser sister； who had married a rich nabob； and she； to the wonder and
compassionate regret of all who knew her； went to bury herself in the
homely village parsonage among the hills of …。 And yet； in spite of all
this； and in spite of my mother's high spirit and my father's whims； I
believe you might search all England through； and fail to find a happier
couple。
Of six children； my sister Mary and myself were the only two that
survived the perils of infancy and early childhood。 I； being the younger
by five or six years； was always regarded as THE child； and the pet of the
family： father； mother； and sister； all combined to spoil me … not by
foolish indulgence； to render me fractious and ungovernable； but by
ceaseless kindness； to make me too helpless and dependent … too unfit for
buffeting with the cares and turmoils of life。
Mary and I were brought up in the strictest seclusion。 My mother；
being at once highly accomplished； well informed； and fond of
employment； took the whole charge of our education on herself； with the
exception of Latin … which my father undertook to teach us … so that we
never even went to school； and； as there was no society in the
neighbourhood； our only intercourse with the world consisted in a stately
tea…party； now and then； with the principal farmers and tradespeople of the
vicinity （just to avoid being stigmatized as too proud to consort with our
neighbours）； and an annual visit to our paternal grandfather's； where
himself； our kind grandmamma； a maiden aunt； and two or three elderly
ladies and gentlemen； were the only persons we ever saw。 Sometimes
our mother would amuse us with stories and anecdotes of her younger
days； which； while they entertained us amazingly； frequently awoke … in
ME； at least … a secret wish to see a little more of the world。
I thought she must have been very happy： but she never seemed to
regret past times。 My father； however； whose temper was neither tranquil
nor cheerful by nature； often unduly vexed himself with thinking of the
sacrifices his dear wife had made for him； and troubled his head with
revolving endless schemes for the augmentation of his little fortune； for
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her sake and ours。 In vain my mother assured him she was quite satisfied；
and if he would but lay by a little for the children； we should all have
plenty； both for time present and to come： but saving was not my father's
forte。 He would not run in debt （at least； my mother took good care he
should not）； but while he had money he must spend it： he liked to see his
house comfortable； and his wife and daughters well clothed； and well
attended； and besides； he was charitably disposed； and liked to give to the
poor； according to his means： or； as some might think； beyond them。
At length； however； a kind friend suggested to him a means of
doubling his private property at one stroke； and further increasing it；
hereafter； to an untold amount。 This friend was a merchant； a man of
enterprising spirit and undoubted talent； who was somewhat straitened in
his mercantile pursuits for want of capital； but generously proposed to
give my father a fair share of his profits； if he would only entrust him with
what he could spare； and he thought he might safely promise that whatever
sum the latter chose to put into his hands； it should bring him in cent。 per
cent。 The small patrimony was speedily sold； and the whole of its price
was deposited in the hands of the friendly merchant； who as promptly
proceeded to ship his cargo； and prepare for his voyage。
My father was delighted； so were we all； with our brightening
prospects。 For the present； it is true； we were reduced to the narrow
income of the curacy； but my father seemed to think there was no
necessity for scrupulously restricting our expenditure to that； so； with a
standing bill at Mr。 Jackson's； another at Smith's； and a third at Hobson's；
we got along even more comfortably than before： though my mother
affirmed we had better keep within bounds； for our prospects of wealth
were but precarious； after all； and if my father would only trust everything
to her management； he should never feel himself stinted： but he； for once；
was incorrigible。
What happy hours Mary and I have passed while sitting at our work by
the fire； or wandering on the heath…clad hills； or idling under the weeping
birch （the only considerable tree in the garden）； talking of future happiness
to ourselves and our parents； of what we would do； and see； and possess；
with no firmer foundation for our goodly superstructure than the riches
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that were expected to flow in upon us from the success of the worthy
merchant's speculations。 Our father was nearly as bad as ourselves； only
that he affected not to be so much in earnest： expressing his bright hopes
and sanguine expectations in jests and playful sallies； that always struck
me as being exceedingly witty and pleasant。 Our mother laughed with
delight to see him so hopeful and happy： but still she feared he was
setting his heart too much upon the matter； and once I heard her whisper
as she left the room； 'God grant he be not disappointed！ I know not how
he would bear it。'
Disappointed he was； and bitterly； too。 It came like a thunder… clap
on us all； that the vessel which contained our fortune had been wrecked；
and gone to the bottom with all its stores； together with several of the crew；
and the unfortunate merchant himself。 I was grieved for him； I was
grieved for the overthrow of all our air…built castles： but； with the
elasticity of youth； I soon recovered the shook。
Though riches had charms； poverty had no terrors for an inexperienced
girl like me。 Indeed； to say the truth； there was something exhilarating in
the idea of being driven to straits； and thrown upon our own resources。 I
only wished papa； mamma； and Mary were all of the same mind as myself；
and then； instead of lamenting past calamities we might all cheerfully set
to work to remedy them； and the greater the difficulties； the harder our
present privations； the greater should be our cheerfulness to endure the
latter； and our vigour to contend against the former。
Mary did not lament； but she brooded continually over the misfortune；
and sank into a state of dejection from which no effort of mine could rouse
her。 I could not possibly bring her to regard the matter on its bright side
as I did： and indeed I was so fearful of being charged with childish
frivolity； or stupid insensibility； that I carefully kept most of my bright
ideas
