agnes grey(艾格尼丝·格累)-第15章
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at all； they were slurred over； at any time and in any way； but generally at
the least convenient times； and in the way least beneficial to herself； and
least satisfactory to me： the short half…hour of practising was horribly
strummed through； she； meantime； unsparingly abusing me； either for
interrupting her with corrections； or for not rectifying her mistakes before
they were made； or something equally unreasonable。 Once or twice； I
ventured to remonstrate with her seriously for such irrational conduct； but
on each of those occasions； I received such reprehensive expostulations
from her mother； as convinced me that； if I wished to keep the situation； I
must even let Miss Matilda go on in her own way。
When her lessons were over； however； her ill…humour was generally
over too： while riding her spirited pony； or romping with the dogs or her
brothers and sister； but especially with her dear brother John； she was as
happy as a lark。 As an animal； Matilda was all right； full of life； vigour；
and activity； as an intelligent being； she was barbarously ignorant； indocile；
careless and irrational； and； consequently； very distressing to one who had
the task of cultivating her understanding； reforming her manners； and
aiding her to acquire those ornamental attainments which； unlike her sister；
she despised as much as the rest。 Her mother was partly aware of her
deficiencies； and gave me many a lecture as to how I should try to form
her tastes； and endeavour to rouse and cherish her dormant vanity； and； by
insinuating； skilful flattery； to win her attention to the desired objects …
which I would not do； and how I should prepare and smooth the path of
learning till she could glide along it without the least exertion to herself：
which I could not； for nothing can be taught to any purpose without some
little exertion on the part of the learner。
As a moral agent； Matilda was reckless； headstrong； violent； and
unamenable to reason。 One proof of the deplorable state of her mind was；
that from her father's example she had learned to swear like a trooper。
Her mother was greatly shocked at the 'unlady…like trick；' and wondered
'how she had picked it up。' 'But you can soon break her of it； Miss Grey；'
said she： 'it is only a habit； and if you will just gently remind her every
time she does so； I am sure she will soon lay it aside。' I not only 'gently
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reminded' her； I tried to impress upon her how wrong it was； and how
distressing to the ears of decent people： but all in vain： I was only
answered by a careless laugh； and； 'Oh； Miss Grey； how shocked you are！
I'm so glad！' or； 'Well！ I can't help it； papa shouldn't have taught me： I
learned it all from him； and maybe a bit from the coachman。'
Her brother John； ALIAS Master Murray； was about eleven when I
came： a fine； stout； healthy boy； frank and good…natured in the main； and
might have been a decent lad had he been properly educated； but now he
was as rough as a young bear； boisterous； unruly； unprincipled； untaught；
unteachable … at least； for a governess under his mother's eye。 His
masters at school might be able to manage him better … for to school he
was sent； greatly to my relief； in the course of a year； in a state； it is true；
of scandalous ignorance as to Latin； as well as the more useful though
more neglected things： and this； doubtless； would all be laid to the
account of his education having been entrusted to an ignorant female
teacher； who had presumed to take in hand what she was wholly
incompetent to perform。 I was not delivered from his brother till full
twelve months after； when he also was despatched in the same state of
disgraceful ignorance as the former。
Master Charles was his mother's peculiar darling。 He was little more
than a year younger than John； but much smaller； paler； and less active and
robust； a pettish； cowardly； capricious； selfish little fellow； only active in
doing mischief； and only clever in inventing falsehoods： not simply to
hide his faults； but； in mere malicious wantonness； to bring odium upon
others。 In fact； Master Charles was a very great nuisance to me： it was
a trial of patience to live with him peaceably； to watch over him was
worse； and to teach him； or pretend to teach him； was inconceivable。 At
ten years old； he could not read correctly the easiest line in the simplest
book； and as； according to his mother's principle； he was to be told every
word； before he had time to hesitate or examine its orthography； and never
even to be informed； as a stimulant to exertion； that other boys were more
forward than he； it is not surprising that he made but little progress during
the two years I had charge of his education。 His minute portions of Latin
grammar； &c。； were to be repeated over to him； till he chose to say he
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knew them； and then he was to be helped to say them； if he made mistakes
in his little easy sums in arithmetic； they were to be shown him at once；
and the sum done for him； instead of his being left to exercise his faculties
in finding them out himself； so that； of course； he took no pains to avoid
mistakes； but frequently set down his figures at random； without any
calculation at all。
I did not invariably confine myself to these rules： it was against my
conscience to do so； but I seldom could venture to deviate from them in
the slightest degree； without incurring the wrath of my little pupil； and
subsequently of his mamma； to whom he would relate my transgressions
maliciously exaggerated； or adorned with embellishments of his own； and
often； in consequence； was I on the point of losing or resigning my
situation。 But； for their sakes at home； I smothered my pride and
suppressed my indignation； and managed to struggle on till my little
tormentor was despatched to school； his father declaring that home
education was 'no go； for him； it was plain； his mother spoiled him
outrageously； and his governess could make no hand of him at all。'
A few more observations about Horton Lodge and its ongoings； and I
have done with dry description for the present。 The house was a very
respectable one； superior to Mr。 Bloomfield's； both in age； size； and
magnificence： the garden was not so tastefully laid out； but instead of
the smooth…shaven lawn； the young trees guarded by palings； the grove of
upstart poplars； and the plantation of firs； there was a wide park； stocked
with deer； and beautified by fine old trees。 The surrounding country
itself was pleasant； as far as fertile fields； flourishing trees； quiet green
lanes； and smiling hedges with wild…flowers scattered along their banks；
could make it； but it was depressingly flat to one born and nurtured among
the rugged hills of …。
We were situated nearly two miles from the village church； and；
consequently； the family carriage was put in requisition every Sunday
morning； and sometimes oftener。 Mr。 and Mrs。 Murray generally thought
it sufficient to show themselves at church once in the course of the day；
but frequently the children preferred going a second time to wandering
about the grounds all the day with nothing to do。 If some of my pupils
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chose to walk and take me with them； it was well for me； for otherwise my
position in the carriage was to be crushed into the corner farthest from the
open window； and with my back to the horses： a position which
invariably made me sick； and if I were not actually obliged to leave the
church in the middle of the service； my devotions were disturbed with a
feeling of languor and sickliness； and the tormenting fear of its becoming
worse： and a depressing headache was generally my companion
throughout the day； which would otherwise have been one of welcome rest；
and holy； calm enjoyment。
'It's very odd； Miss Grey； that the carriage should always make you
sick： it never makes ME；' remarked Miss Matilda；
'Nor me either；' said her sister； 'but I dare say it would； if I sat where
she does … such a nasty； horrid place； Miss Grey； I wonder how you can
bear it！'
'I am obliged to bear it； since no choice is left me；' … I might have
answered； but in tenderness for their feelings I only replied； … 'Oh！ it is but
a short way； and if I am not sick in church； I don't mind it。'
If I were called upon to give a description of the usual divisions and
arrangements of the day； I should find it a very difficult matter。 I had all
my meals in the schoolroom with my pupils； at such times as suited their
fancy： sometimes they would ring for dinner before it was half cooked；
sometimes they would keep it waiting on the table for above an hour； and
then be out of humour because the potatoes were cold； and the gravy
covered with cakes of solid fat； sometimes they would have tea at four；
frequently； they would storm at the servants because it was not in precisely
at five； and when these orders were obeyed； by way of encouragement to
punctuality； they would keep it on the table till seven or eight。
Their hours of study were managed in much the same way； my
judgment or convenience was never once consulted。 Sometimes Matilda
