agnes grey(艾格尼丝·格累)-第39章
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about any of them … except Harry；' said she； blushing slightly； and smiling
again。 'I saw a great deal of him while we were in London； for； as soon
as he heard we were there； he came up under pretence of visiting his
brother； and either followed me； like a shadow； wherever I went； or met
me； like a reflection； at every turn。 You needn't look so shocked； Miss
Grey； I was very discreet； I assure you； but； you know； one can't help
being admired。 Poor fellow！ He was not my only worshipper； though
he was certainly the most conspicuous； and； I think； the most devoted
among them all。 And that detestable … ahem … and Sir Thomas chose to
take offence at him … or my profuse expenditure； or something … I don't
exactly know what … and hurried me down to the country at a moment's
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notice； where I'm to play the hermit； I suppose； for life。'
And she bit her lip； and frowned vindictively upon the fair domain she
had once so coveted to call her own。
'And Mr。 Hatfield；' said I； 'what is become of him？'
Again she brightened up； and answered gaily … 'Oh！ he made up to an
elderly spinster； and married her； not long since； weighing her heavy purse
against her faded charms； and expecting to find that solace in gold which
was denied him in love … ha； ha！'
'Well； and I think that's all … except Mr。 Weston： what is he doing？'
'I don't know； I'm sure。 He's gone from Horton。'
'How long since？ and where is he gone to？'
'I know nothing about him；' replied she； yawning … 'except that he went
about a month ago … I never asked where' （I would have asked whether it
was to a living or merely another curacy； but thought it better not）； 'and the
people made a great rout about his leaving；' continued she； 'much to Mr。
Hatfield's displeasure； for Hatfield didn't like him； because he had too
much influence with the common people； and because he was not
sufficiently tractable and submissive to him … and for some other
unpardonable sins； I don't know what。 But now I positively must go and
dress： the second bell will ring directly； and if I come to dinner in this
guise； I shall never hear the end of it from Lady Ashby。 It's a strange
thing one can't be mistress in one's own house！ Just ring the bell； and I'll
send for my maid； and tell them to get you some tea。 Only think of that
intolerable woman … '
'Who … your maid？'
'No； … my mother…in…law … and my unfortunate mistake！ Instead of
letting her take herself off to some other house； as she offered to do when I
married； I was fool enough to ask her to live here still； and direct the
affairs of the house for me； because； in the first place； I hoped we should
spend the greater part of the year； in town； and in the second place； being
so young and inexperienced； I was frightened at the idea of having a
houseful of servants to manage； and dinners to order； and parties to
entertain； and all the rest of it； and I thought she might assist me with her
experience； never dreaming she would prove a usurper； a tyrant； an
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incubus； a spy； and everything else that's detestable。 I wish she was
dead！'
She then turned to give her orders to the footman； who had been
standing bolt upright within the door for the last half minute； and had
heard the latter part of her animadversions； and； of course； made his own
reflections upon them； notwithstanding the inflexible； wooden
countenance he thought proper to preserve in the drawing… room。 On my
remarking afterwards that he must have heard her； she replied … 'Oh； no
matter！ I never care about the footmen； they're mere automatons： it's
nothing to them what their superiors say or do； they won't dare to repeat it；
and as to what they think … if they presume to think at all … of course；
nobody cares for that。 It would be a pretty thing indeed； it we were to be
tongue…tied by our servants！'
So saying； she ran off to make her hasty toilet； leaving me to pilot my
way back to my sitting…room； where； in due time； I was served with a cup
of tea。 After that； I sat musing on Lady Ashby's past and present
condition； and on what little information I had obtained respecting Mr。
Weston； and the small chance there was of ever seeing or hearing anything
more of him throughout my quiet； drab…colour life： which； henceforth；
seemed to offer no alternative between positive rainy days； and days of
dull grey clouds without downfall。 At length； however； I began to weary
of my thoughts； and to wish I knew where to find the library my hostess
had spoken of； and to wonder whether I was to remain there doing nothing
till bedtime。
As I was not rich enough to possess a watch； I could not tell how time
was passing； except by observing the slowly lengthening shadows from
the window； which presented a side view； including a corner of the park； a
clump of trees whose topmost branches had been colonized by an
innumerable company of noisy rooks； and a high wall with a massive
wooden gate： no doubt communicating with the stable…yard； as a broad
carriage…road swept up to it from the park。 The shadow of this wall soon
took posession of the whole of the ground as far as I could see； forcing the
golden sunlight to retreat inch by inch； and at last take refuge in the very
tops of the trees。 Ere long； even they were left in shadow … the shadow of
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the distant hills； or of the earth itself； and； in sympathy for the busy
citizens of the rookery； I regretted to see their habitation； so lately bathed
in glorious light； reduced to the sombre； work…a… day hue of the lower
world； or of my own world within。 For a moment； such birds as soared
above the rest might still receive the lustre on their wings； which imparted
to their sable plumage the hue and brilliance of deep red gold； at last； that
too departed。 Twilight came stealing on； the rooks became more quiet； I
became more weary； and wished I were going home to…morrow。 At
length it grew dark； and I was thinking of ringing for a candle； and
betaking myself to bed； when my hostess appeared； with many apologies
for having neglected me so long； and laying all the blame upon that 'nasty
old woman；' as she called her mother…in…law。
'If I didn't sit with her in the drawing…room while Sir Thomas is taking
his wine；' said she； 'she would never forgive me； and then； if I leave the
room the instant he comes … as I have done once or twice … it is an
unpardonable offence against her dear Thomas。 SHE never showed such
disrespect to HER husband： and as for affection； wives never think of
that now…a…days； she supposes： but things were different in HER time …
as if there was any good to be done by staying in the room； when he does
nothing but grumble and scold when he's in a bad humour； talk disgusting
nonsense when he's in a good one； and go to sleep on the sofa when he's
too stupid for either； which is most frequently the case now； when he has
nothing to do but to sot over his wine。'
'But could you not try to occupy his mind with something better； and
engage him to give up such habits？ I'm sure you have powers of
persuasion； and qualifications for amusing a gentleman； which many
ladies would be glad to possess。'
'And so you think I would lay myself out for his amusement！ No：
that's not MY idea of a wife。 It's the husband's part to please the wife；
not hers to please him； and if he isn't satisfied with her as she is … and
thankful to possess her too … he isn't worthy of her； that's all。 And as for
persuasion； I assure you I shan't trouble myself with that： I've enough to
do to bear with him as he is； without attempting to work a reform。 But
I'm sorry I left you so long alone； Miss Grey。 How have you passed the
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time？'
'Chiefly in watching the rooks。'
'Mercy； how dull you must have been！ I really must show you the
library； and you must ring for everything you want； just as you would in
an inn； and make yourself comfortable。 I have selfish reasons for
wishing to make you happy； because I want you to stay with me； and not
fulfil your horrid threat of running away in a day or two。'
'Well； don't let me keep you out of the drawing…room any longer to…
night； for at present I am tired and wish to go to bed。'
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CHAPTER XXIII … THE PARK
I CAME down a little before eight； next morning； as I knew by the
striking of a distant clock。 There was no appearance of breakfast。 I
waited above an hour before it came； still vainly longing for access to the
library； and； after that lonely repast was concluded； I waited again about
an hour and a half in great suspense and discomfort； uncertain what to do。
At length Lady Ashby came to bid me good…morning。 She informed me
she had only just breakfasted； and now wanted me to take an early walk
with her in the park。 She asked how long I had been up； and on receiving
my answer； expressed the deepest regret； and again promised to show me
