northanger abbey(诺桑觉奇)-第48章
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“Alas！ for my feelings as a daughter； all that I know； all that I
answer for； is that you can have given him no just cause of offence。
He certainly is greatly； very greatly discomposed； I have seldom
seen him more so。 His temper is not happy； and something has
now occurred to ruffle it in an uncommon degree； some
disappointment； some vexation； which just at this moment seems
important； but which I can hardly suppose you to have any
concern in； for how is it possible？”
It was with pain that Catherine could speak at all； and it was
only for Eleanor’s sake that she attempted it。 “I am sure；” said she；
“I am very sorry if I have offended him。 It was the last thing I
would willingly have done。 But do not be unhappy； Eleanor。 An
engagement； you know； must be kept。 I am only sorry it was not
recollected sooner； that I might have written home。 But it is of
very little consequence。”
“I hope； I earnestly hope； that to your real safety it will be of
none； but to every thing else it is of the greatest consequence； to
comfort； appearance； propriety； to your family； to the world。 Were
your friends； the Allens； still in Bath； you might go to them with
comparative ease； a few hours would take you there； but a journey
of seventy miles； to be taken post by you； at your age； alone；
unattended！”
“Oh； the journey is nothing。 Do not think about that。 And if we
are to part； a few hours sooner or later； you know； makes no
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difference。 I can be ready by seven。 Let me be called in time。”
Eleanor saw that she wished to be alone； and believing it better for
each that they should avoid any further conversation； now left her
with； “I shall see you in the morning。”
Catherine’s swelling heart needed relief。 In Eleanor’s presence
friendship and pride had equally restrained her tears； but no
sooner was she gone than they burst forth in torrents。 Turned
from the house； and in such a way！—Without any reason that
could justify； any apology that could atone for the abruptness； the
rudeness； nay； the insolence of it。 Henry at a distance—not able
even to bid him farewell。 Every hope； every expectation from him
suspended； at least； and who could say how long？—Who could say
when they might meet again？—And all this by such a man as
General Tilney； so polite； so well bred； and heretofore so
particularly fond of her！ It was as incomprehensible as it was
mortifying and grievous。 From what it could arise； and where it
would end； were considerations of equal perplexity and alarm。
The manner in which it was done so grossly uncivil； hurrying her
away without any reference to her own convenience； or allowing
her even the appearance of choice as to the time or mode of her
travelling； of two days； the earliest fixed on； and of that almost the
earliest hour； as if resolved to have her gone before he was stirring
in the morning； that he might not be obliged even to see her。 What
could all this mean but an intentional affront？ By some means or
other she must have had the misfortune to offend him。 Eleanor
had wished to spare her from so painful a notion； but Catherine
could not believe it possible that any injury or any misfortune
could provoke such ill…will against a person not connected； or； at
least； not supposed to be connected with it。
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Heavily passed the night。 Sleep； or repose that deserved the
name of sleep； was out of the question。 That room； in which her
disturbed imagination had tormented her on her first arrival； was
again the scene of agitated spirits and unquiet slumbers。 Yet how
different now the source of her inquietude from what it had been
then—how mournfully superior in reality and substance！ Her
anxiety had foundation in fact； her fears in probability； and with a
mind so occupied in the contemplation of actual and natural evil；
the solitude of her situation； the darkness of her chamber； the
antiquity of the building； were felt and considered without the
smallest emotion； and though the wind was high； and often
produced strange and sudden noises throughout the house； she
heard it all as she lay awake； hour after hour； without curiosity or
terror。
Soon after six Eleanor entered her room； eager to show
attention or give assistance where it was possible； but very little
remained to be done。 Catherine had not loitered； she was almost
dressed； and her packing almost finished。 The possibility of some
conciliatory message from the General occurred to her as his
daughter appeared。 What so natural； as that anger should pass
away and repentance succeed it？ And she only wanted to know
how far； after what had passed； an apology might properly be
received by her。 But the knowledge would have been useless here；
it was not called for； neither clemency nor dignity was put to the
trial—Eleanor brought no message。 Very little passed between
them on meeting； each found her greatest safety in silence； and
few and trivial were the sentences exchanged while they remained
upstairs； Catherine in busy agitation completing her dress； and
Eleanor with more good…will than experience intent upon filling
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the trunk。 When every thing was done they left the room；
Catherine lingering only half a minute behind her friend to throw
a parting glance on every well…known； cherished object； and went
down to the breakfast…parlour； where breakfast was prepared。 She
tried to eat； as well to save herself from the pain of being urged as
to make her friend comfortable； but she had no appetite； and
could not swallow many mouthfuls。 The contrast between this and
her last breakfast in that room gave her fresh misery； and
strengthened her distaste for every thing before her。 It was not
four and twenty hours ago since they had met there to the same
repast； but in circumstances how different！ With what cheerful
ease； what happy； though false； security； had she then looked
around her； enjoying every thing present； and fearing little in
future； beyond Henry’s going to Woodston for a day！ Happy；
happy breakfast！ For Henry had been there； Henry had sat by her
and helped her。 These reflections were long indulged undisturbed
by any address from her companion； who sat as deep in thought as
herself； and the appearance of the carriage was the first thing to
startle and recall them to the present moment。 Catherine’s colour
rose at the sight of it； and the indignity with which she was
treated； striking at that instant on her mind with peculiar force；
made her for a short time sensible only of resentment。 Eleanor
seemed now impelled into resolution and speech。
“You must write to me； Catherine；” she cried； “you must let me
hear from you as soon as possible。 Till I know you to be safe at
home； I shall not have an hour’s comfort。 For one letter； at all
risks； all hazards； I must entreat。 Let me have the satisfaction of
knowing that you are safe at Fullerton； and have found your
family well； and then； till I can ask for your correspondence as I
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ought to do； I will not expect more。 Direct to me at Lord
Longtown’s； and； I must ask it； under cover to Alice。”
“No； Eleanor； if you are not allowed to receive a letter from me；
I am sure I had better not write。 There can be no doubt of my
getting home safe。”
Eleanor only replied； “I cannot wonder at your feelings。 I will
not importune you。 I will trust to your own kindness of heart when
I am at a distance from you。” But this； with the look of sorrow
accompanying it； was enough to melt Catherine’s pride in a
moment； and she instantly said； “Oh； Eleanor； I will write to you
indeed。”
There was yet another point which Miss Tilney was anxious to
settle； though somewhat embarrassed in speaking of。 It had
occurred to her that after so long an absence from home；
Catherine might not be provided with money enough for the
expenses of her journey； and； upon suggesting it to her with most
affectionate offers of accommodation； it proved to be exactly the
case。 Catherine had never thought on the subject till that moment；
but； upon examining her purse； was convinced that but for this
kindness of her friend； she might have been turned from the house
without even the means of getting home； and the distress in which
she must have been thereby involved filling the minds of both；
scarcely another word was said by either during the time of their
remaining together。
