a journey in other worlds-第46章

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〃What　is　life？〃　he　continued。　　〃In　the　retrospect；　nothing。　　It
seems　to　me　already　as　but　an　infinitesimal　point。　　Things　that
engrossed　me；　and　seemed　of　such　moment；　that　overshadowed　the
duty　of　obeying　my　consciencewhat　were　they；　and　where？　　Ah；
where？　　They　endured　but　a　moment。　　Reality　and　evanescence
evanescence　and　reality。〃
　　　
The　light　in　Sylvia's　room　was　out　now；　and　in　the　east　he　beheld
the　dawn。　　The　ubiquitous　grey　which　he　saw　at　night　was　invaded
by　streams　of　glorious　crimson　and　blue　that　reached　far　up　into
the　sky。　　He　gazed　at　the　spectacle；　and　then　once　more　at　that
house　in　which　his　love　was　centred。
　　　
〃Would　I　might　be　her　guardian　angel；　to　guide　her　in　the　right
and　keep　her　from　all　harm！　　Sleep　on；　Sylvia。　　Sweet　one；　sleep。　
Yon　stars　fade　beside　your　eyes。　　Your　thoughts　and　your　soul　are
fairer　far　than　the　east　in　this　day's　sunrise。　　I　know　what　I
have　lost。　　Ah；　desolating　knowledge！　for　I　have　read　Sylvia's
heart；　and　know　I　was　loved　as　truly　as　I　loved。　　When　Bearwarden
and　Cortlandt　break　her　the　newsah；　God！　will　she　live；　and　do
they　yet　know　I　am　dead？〃
　　　
Again　came　that　spasm　to　shed　spirit　tears；　and　had　he　not　known
it　impossible　he　would　have　thought　his　heart　must　break。
　　　
The　birds　twittered；　and　the　light　grew；　but　Ayrault　lay　with　his
face　upon　the　ground。　　Finally　the　spirit　of　unrest　drove　him　on。　
He　passed　the　barred　door　of　his　own　house；　through　which　he　had
entered　so　often。　　It　was　unchanged；　but　seemed　deserted。　　Next；
he　went　to　the　water…front；　where　he　had　left　his　yacht。　
Invisibly　and　sadly　he　stood　upon　her　upper　deck；　and　gazed　at
the　levers；　in　response　to　his　touch　on　which　the　craft　had　cleft
the　waves；　reversed；　or　turned　like　a　thing　of　life。
　　
〃'Twas　a　pretty　toy；〃　he　mused；　〃and　many　hours　of　joy　have　I　had
as　I　floated　through　life　on　board　of　her。〃
　　　
As　he　moped　along　he　beheld　two　unkempt　Italians　having　a
piano…organ　and　a　violin。　　The　music　was　not　fine；　but　it　touched
a　chord　in　Ayrault's　breast；　for　he　had　waltzed　with　Sylvia　to
that　air；　and　it　made　his　heart　ache。
　　　
〃Oh；　the　acuteness　of　my　distress；〃　he　cried；　〃the　utter　depth　of
my　sorrow！　　Can　I　have　no　peace　in　death；　no　oblivion　in　the
grave？　　I　am　reminded　of　my　blighted；　hopeless　love　in　all　kinds
of　unexpected　ways；　by　unforeseen　trifles。　　Oh；　would　I　might；
indeed；　die！　　May　obliteration　be　my　deliverer！〃
　　　
〃Poor　fellows；〃　he　continued；　glancing　at　the　Italians；　for　he
perceived　that　neither　of　the　players　was　happy；　the　pianist　was
avaricious；　while　the　violinist's　natural　and　habitual　jealousy
destroyed　his　peace　of　mind。
　　　
〃Unhappiness　seems　the　common　lot；〃　thought　Ayrault。　　〃Earth
cannot　give　that　joy　for　which　we　sigh。　　Poor　fellows！　though　you
rack　my　ears　and　distress　my　heart；　I　cannot　help　you　now。〃　



　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　CHAPTER　XIII。

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　THE　PRIEST'S　SERMON。

It　being　the　first　day　of　the　week；　the　morning　air　was　filled
with　chimes　from　many　steeples。
　　　
〃Divine　service　always　comforted　in　life；〃　thought　Ayrault；
〃perchance　it　may　do　so　now；　when　I　have　reached　the　state　for
which　it　tried　to　prepare　me。〃
　　　
Accordingly；　he　moved　on　with　the　throng；　and　soon　was　ascending
the　heights　of　Morningside　Park；　after　which；　he　entered　the
cathedral。　　The　priest　whose　voice　had　so　often　thrilled　him
stood　at　his　post　in　his　surplice；　and　the　choir　had　finished　the
processional　hymn。　　During　the　responses　in　the　litany；　and
between　the　commandments；　while　the　congregation　and　the　choir
sang；　he　heard　their　natural　voices　as　of　old　ascending　to　the
vaulted　roof　and　arrested　there。　　He　now　also　heard　their
spiritual　voices　resulting　from　the　earnestness　of　their　prayers。　
These　were　rung　through　the　vaster　vault　of　space；　arousing　a
spiritual　echo　beyond　the　constellations　and　the　nebulae。　　The
service；　which　was　that　of　the　Protestant　Episcopal　Church；
touched　him　as　deeply　as　usual；　after　which　the　rector　ascended
the　steps　to　the　pulpit。
　　　
〃The　text；　this　morning；〃　he　began；　〃is　from　the　eighth　chapter
of　St。　Paul's　Epistle　to　the　Romans；　at　the　eighteenth　verse：　
'For　I　reckon　that　the　sufferings　of　this　present　time　are　not
worthy　to　be　compared　to　the　glory　that　shall　be　revealed　in　us。'　
Let　us　suppose　that　you　or　I；　brethren；　should　become　a　free　and
disembodied　spirit。　　A　minute　vein　in　the　brain　bursts；　or　a　clot
forms　in　the　heart。　　It　may　be　a　mere　trifle；　some　unexpected
thing；　yet　the　career　in　the　flesh　is　ended；　the　eternal　life　of
the　liberated　spirit　begun。　　The　soul　slips　from　earth's　grasp；
as　air　from　our　fingers；　and　finds　itself　in　the　frigid；
boundless　void　of　space。　　Yet；　through　some　longing　this　soul
might　rejoin　us；　and；　though　invisible；　might　hear　the
church…bells　ring；　and　long　to　recall　some　one　of　the　many　bright
Sunday　mornings　spent　here　on　earth。　　Has　a　direful　misfortune
befallen　this　brother；　or　has　a　slave　been　set　free？　　Let　us
suppose　for　a　moment　that　the　first　has　occurred。　　'Vanity　of
vanities；'　said　the　old　preacher。　　'Calamity　of　calamities；'　says
the　new。　　That　soul's　probationary　period　is　ended；　his　record；
on　which　he　must　go；　is　forever　made。　　He　has　been　in　the　flesh；
let　us　say；　one；　two；　three　or　four　score　years；　before　him　are
the　countless　aeons　of　eternity。　　He　may　have　had　a　reasonably
satisfactory　life；　from　his　point　of　view；　and　been　fairly
successful　in　stilling　conscience。　　That　still；　small　voice
doubtless　spoke　pretty　sharply　at　first；　but　after　a　while　it
rarely　troubled　him；　and　in　the　end　it　spoke　not　at　all。　　He　may；
in　a　way；　have　enjoyed　life　and　the　beauties　of　nature。　　He　has
seen　the　fresh　leaves　come　and　go；　but　he　forgot　the　moral；　that
be　himself　was　but　a　leaf；　and　that；　as　they　all　dropped　to　earth
to　make　more　soil；　his　ashes　must　also　return　to　the　ground。　　But
his　soul；　friends　and　brethren；　what　becomes　of　that？　　Ah！　it　is
the　study　of　this　question　that　moistens　our　eyes　with　tears。　　No
evil　man　is　really　happy　here；　and　what　must　be　his　suffering　in
the　cold；　cold　land　of　spirits？　　No　slumber　or　forgetfulness　can
ease　his　lot　in　hades；　and　after　his　condemnation　at　the　last
judgment　he　must　forever　face　the　unsoftened　realities　of
eternity。　　No　evil　thing　or　thought　can　find　lodgment　in　heaven。　
If　it　could；　heaven　would　not　be　a　happy　place；　neither　can　any
man　improve　in　the　abyss　of　hell。　　As　the　horizon　gradually
darkens；　and　this　soul　recedes　from　God；　the　time　spent　in　the
flesh　must　come　to　seem　the　most　infinitesimal　moment；　more
evanescent　than　the　tick　of　a　clock。　　It　seems　dreadful　that　for
such　short　misdoings　a　soul　should　suffer　so　long；　but　no　man　can
be　saved　in　spite　of　himself。　　He　had　the　opportunitiesand　the
knowledge　of　this　must　give　a　soul　the　most　acute　pang。
　　　
〃In　Revelation；　xx；　6；　we　find　these　words；　'Blessed　and　holy　is
he　that　hath　part　in　the　first　resurrection：　on　such　the　second
death　hath　no　power。'　　I　have　often　asked　myself；　May　not　this
mean　that　those　with　a　bad　record　in　the　general　resurrection
after　a　time　cease　to　exist；　since　all　suffer　one　death　at　the
close　of　their　period　here？　

〃This　is　somewhat　suggested　by　Proverbs；　xii；　28；。　　'In　the　way
of　righteousness　is　life；　and　in　the　pathway　thereof　there　is　no
death。'　　This　might　limit　the　everlasting　damnation；　so　often
repeated　elsewhere；　to　the　lives　of　the　condemned；　since　to　them；
in　a　sense；　it　would　be　everlasting。
　　　
〃Let　us　now　turn　to　the　bright　picturethe　soul　that　has
weathered　the　storms　of　life　and　has　reached　the　haven　of　rest。　
The　struggles；　temptations；　and　trials　overcome；　have　done　their
work　of　refining　with　a　rapidity　that　could　not　have　been
equalled　in　any　other　way；　and　though；　perhaps；　very　imperfect
still；　the　journey　is　ever　on。　　The　reward　is　tenfold；　yet　in
proportion　to　what　this　soul　has　done；　for　we　know　that　the
servant　who　best　used　his　ten　talents　was　made　ruler　over　ten
cities；　while　he　that　increased　his　five　talents　by　five　received
five；　and　the　Saviour　in　whom　he　trusted；　by　whose　aid　he　made
his　fight；　stands　ready　to　receive　him；　saying；　'Enter　thou　into
the　joy　of　thy　Lord。'
　　　
〃As　the　dark；　earthly　background　recedes；　the　clouds　break　and
the　glorious　light　appears；　the　contrast　heightening　the
ever…unfolding　and　increasing　delights；　which　are　as　great　as　the
recipients　have　power　to　enjoy；　since　these　righteous　souls
receive　their　rewards　in　proportion　to　the　weight　of　the　crosses
that　they　have　borne　in　the　right　spirit。　　These　souls　are　a　joy
to　their　Creator；　and　are　the　heirs　of　Him　in　heaven。　　The
ceaseless；　sleepless　activity　that　must　obtain　in　both　paradise
and　hades；　and　that　must　make　the　hearts　of　the　godless　grow
faint　at　the　contemplation；　is　also　a　boundless　promise　to　those
who　have　Him　who　is　all　in　all。
　　　
〃Where　is　now　thy　Saviour？　where　is　now　thy　God？　the　unjust　man
has　asked　in　his　heart　when　he　saw　his　just　neighbour　struggling
and　unsuccessful。　　Both　the　righteous　and　the　unrighteous　man　are
dead。　　The　one　has　found　his　Saviour；　the　other　is　yearly　losing
God。　　What　is　the　suffering　of　the　present　momentary　time；　eased
as　it　is　by　God's　mercy　and　presence；　compared　with　the　glories
that　await　us？　　What　would　it　be　if　our　lives　here　were　filled
with　nothing　else；　as　ye　know　that　your　labour　is　not　vain　in　the
Lord？　　Time　and　eternitythe　finite　and　the　infinite。　　Death
was；　indeed；　a　deliverer；　and　the　sunset　of　the　body　is　the
sunrise　of　the　soul。〃
　　　
The　priest　held　himself　erect　as　a　soldier　while　delivering　this
sermon；　making　the　great　cathedral　ring　with　his　earnest　and
solemn　voice；　while　Ayrault；　as　a　spirit；　saw　how　absolutely　he
meant　and　believed　every　word　that　he　said。
　　　
Nearly　all　the　members　of　the　congregation　were　movedsome　more；
some　less　than　they　appeared。　　After　the　benediction　they　rapidly
dispersed；　carrying　in　their　hearts　the　germs　he　had　sown；　but
whether　these　would　bear　fruit　or　wither；　time　alone　could　show。
　　　
Ayrault　had　noticed　Sylvia's　father　and　mother　in　church；　but
Sylvia　herself　was　not　there；　and　he　was　distressed　to　think　she
might　be　ill。
　　　
〃Why；〃　pondered　Ayrault；　〃am　I　so　unhappy？　　I　was　baptized；
confirmed；　and　have　taken　the　sacrament。　　I　have　always　had　an
unshaken　faith；　and；　though　often　unsuccessful；　have　striven　to
obey　my　conscience。　　The　spirits　also　on　Saturn　kept　saying　I
should　be　happy。　　Now；　did　this　mean　it　was　incumbent　upon　me　to
rejoice；　because　of　some　blessing　I　already　had；　and　did　not
appreciate；　or　did　their　prescience　show　them　some　prospective
happiness　I　was　to　enjoy？　　The　visions　also　of　Violet；　the　angel；
and　the　lily；　which　I　believed；　and　still　believe；　were　no　mere
empty　fancies；　should　have　given　me　the　most　unspeakable　joy。　　It
may　be　a　mistake　to　apply　earthly　logic　to　heavenly　things；　but
the　fundamental　laws　of　science　cannot　change。
　　　
〃Why　am　I　so　unhappy？〃　he　continued；　returning　to　his　original
question。　　〃The　visions　gave　promise　of　special　grace；　perhaps
some　special　favour。　　True；　my　prayer　to　see　Sylvia　was　heard；
but；　considering　the　sacrifice；　this　has　been　no　blessing。　　The
request　cannot　have　been　wro