a face illumined-第31章

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her　face　as　he　spoke；　〃but　it　does　not　make　much　difference　with

me。〃



〃There　are　other　remedies；〃　she　resumed　in　her　low　gentle　tone；

〃which；　like　the　air；　are　not　exactly　tangible；　and　yet　are　more

potent。〃



〃Indeed；〃　he　said；　the　dawning　interest　deepening　in　his　face；

〃what　are　they？〃



〃I　do　not　mean　to　tell　you；〃　she　replied　with　a　little　piquant

nod　and　smile。　　〃I've　learned　better　than　those　people　who　have　a

dozen　infallible　medicines　at　their　tongues'　end　for　every　trouble

under　heaven。　　I　never　name　my　remedies；　for　if　I　did；　people　would

turn　away　in　contempt　for　such　commonplace　simples。〃



〃I　can　guess　one　of　them　already；〃　he　said　with　a　pleased　light

coming　into　his　eyes。



〃So　quickly；　Mr。　Mayhew？　　I　doubt　it。〃



〃Kindness；〃　he　said；　in　a　low　tone。



〃Well；〃　she　replied　with　a　slight　flush；　〃I　can　stoutly　assert

that　this　remedy　did　me　good　when　all　the　long…named　drugs　in　the

'Materia　Medica'　could　not　have　helped　me。〃



He　looked　at　her　searchingly　a　moment；　and　then　said　in　the　same

low　tone：



〃And　so　you　are　trying　to　apply　your　remedy　to　me？　　It　certainly

is　very　good　of　you。　　Most　people　when　they　are　cured；　throw　away

the　medicine；　forgetting　how　many　others　are　sick。〃



〃Perhaps　we　can　never　exactly　say　we　are　cured　in　this　life；　but

I　think　we　can　all　get　better。〃



〃It　depends　a　great　deal　upon　the　disease；〃　he　replied；　with　a

shrug。



〃No；　Mr。　Mayhew；〃　she　said；　and；　although　her　tone　was　low；　it

was　almost　passionate　in　its　earnestness。　　〃God　forbid　that　there

should　be　a　disease　without　a　remedy。〃



He　again　looked　at　her　with　a　peculiar　expression；　and　then　slowly

turned　toward　his　wife　and　daughter。　　Mrs。　Mayhew　was　too　preoccupied

to　heed　him；　and　Sibley　was　just　saying：



〃Miss　Ida；　I　claim　you　for　the　first　waltz　this　evening；　and　only

wish　that　it　would　last　indefinitely。〃



〃Pardon　me　for　saying　it　to　one　so　young　and　hopeful　as　yourself；

Miss　Burton；〃　Mr。　Mayhew　resumed　gloomily；　〃but　that　which　both

God　and　good…sense　forbid　seems　the　thing　most　sure　to　take　place

in　this　world。〃



Although　so　dissimilar；　deep　and　sad　experiences　made　them　kin；　and

Miss　Burton　found　she　must　make　an　effort　not　to　let　their　thoughts

color　their　words　too　darkly　for　the　time　and　place。



〃I　shall　not　let　you　destroy　my　faith　in　my　old…fashioned　simples；〃

she　said　in　tones　that　were　lighter　than　her　meaning。　　〃You　must　not

be　sure　that　because　you　are　so　much　my　senior；　all　my　complaints

have　been　merely　children's　troubles。　　Appearances　are　often

misleading；　you　know。〃



〃Not　in　your　case；　I　think；　Miss　Burton。　　I　have　lost　faith　in

almost　everything；　and　most　of　all　in　myself；　but　this　unexpected

little　talk　has　touched　me　deeper　than　you　can　know；　and　I　cannot

help　having　faith　in　you。〃



〃I　will　believe　it；〃　she　said　with　a　smile；　〃if　you　will　give　me

a　little　of　your　society　before　you　go　back　to　the　city。〃



He　looked　at　her　with　sudden　suspicion。　　〃Do　you　mean　what　you

say？〃



〃I　do。〃



〃Why　do　you　wish　my　society？〃



She　hesitated。



His　face　darkened　still　more；　for　he　remembered　what　he　was；　and

how　little　this　young　and　lovely　girl　had　in　common　with　him。



〃Answer　me　truly；〃　he　insisted；　〃why　should　you　wish　my　society？

I've　not　a　particle　of　vanity。　　I　know　what　I　am；　and　you　undoubtedly

know　also。　　If　you　wish　to　advise　me　and　preach　at　me；　let　me

tell　you　plainly　but　courteously　that　your　efforts；　however；　well

intentioned；　would　be　in　vain；　and　not　altogether　welcome。　　I　can

conceive　of　no　other　reason　why　you　should　wish　for　my　society。〃



Her　face　became　very　pale；　but　she　looked　him　full　in　his　eyes　as

she　replied：



〃I　do　not　wish　to　preach　or　advise　at　all。　　Can　you　not　understand

that　one　may　ease　one's　own　pain　by　trying　to　relieve　the　suffering

of　another？　　Now　you　see　how　selfish　I　am。〃



His　face　softened　instantly；　and　he　said：



〃Miss　Burton；　that　is　too　divine　a　philosophy　for　me　to　grasp　at

once。　　As　the　world　goes　now；　I　think　you　are　founding　a　school

of　your　own。　　You　will　find　me　an　eager　listener；　if　not　an　apt

scholar；　whenever　you　will　honor　me　with　your　company。〃　　And　smiling

his　thanks　he　rose　and　left　the　table。



This　conversation　had　been　carried　on　in　tones　too　low　and　quiet

to　be　heard　by　others　in　the　crowded　and　noisy　dining…room。　　Van

Berg；　who　sat　opposite；　had　taken　pains　not　to　follow　it　and　to

appear　oblivious；　and　yet　he　could　not　refrain　from　observing　its

general　drift　and　scope　in　Mr。　Mayhew's　manner；　and　his　eyes　glowed

with　admiration　for　her　winning　tact　and　kindness。　　The　glance　he

bent　upon　her　was　perhaps　more　ardent　and　approving　than　he　was

aware；　for　she；　looking　up　from　the　abstraction　which　the　recent

conversation　had　occasioned；　seemed　strangely　affected　by　it；　for

she　trembled　and　her　face　blanched　with　a　sudden　pallor；　while　her

eyes　were　riveted　to　his　face。



〃You　are　not　well；　Miss　Burton；〃　said　Stanton　hastily；　but　in　a

low　tone。　　〃Let　me　get　you　some　wine。〃



She　started　perceptibly；　and　then　a　sudden　crimson　suffused　her

face　as　she　became　conscious　that　other　eyes　were　upon　her。



In　almost　a　second　she　recovered　herself　fully；　and　replied；　with

a　smile：



〃No；　I　think　you；　Mr。　Stanton。　　A　cup　of　tea　is　a　panacea　for　all

a　woman's　troubles；　and　you　see　I　have　it　here。　　I　did　not　feel

well　for　a　moment；　but　am　better　now。〃



The　eyes　of　Stanton　and　Ida　met。　　Both　had　seen　this　little

episode；　and　each　drew　from　it　conclusions　that　were　anything　but

inspiriting。　　But　Van　Berg　was　thoroughly　puzzled。　　While　as　he　felt

hen　he　would　have　gladly　drawn　encouragement　from　it；　and　perhaps

did　so　to　some　extent；　he　still　felt　there　was　something　peculiar

in　her　manner；　of　which　he　seemed　the　occasion；　but　was　not　the

adequate　cause。



Miss　Burton　soon　after　sought　her　room；　and　for　a　few　moments　paced

it　in　deep　disquiet；　and　her　whole　form　seemed　to　become　tense　and

rigid。　　In　low　tones　she　communed　with　herself：



〃Is　my　will　so　weak？　　Shall　I　continue　betraying　myself　at　any

unexpected　moment？　　Shall　I　show　to　strangers　something　that　I

would　hide　from　all　eyes　save　those　of　God？　　Let　me　realize　it　at

once；　and　so　maintain　self…control　henceforth。　　This　is　an　illusiona

mere　trick　of　my　overwrought　mind；　and　yet　it　seemed　so　like…〃



A　passion　of　grief　interrupted　further　words。　　Such　bitter；

uncontrollable　sorrow　in　one　so　young　was　terrible。　　She　writhed

and　struggled　with　this　anguish　for　a　time　as　helplessly　as　if　she

were　in　the　grasp　of　a　giant。



At　last　she　grew　calm。　　There　were　no　tears　in　her　eyes。　　She

was　beyond　such　simple　and　natural　expression　of　sorrow。　　She　had

ready　tears　for　the　troubles　of　others；　but　now　her　eyes　were　dry

and　feverish。



〃O　God；〃　she　gasped；　〃teach　me　patience！　　Keep　me　submissive。　　Let

me　still　say；　'Thy　will　be　done。'　　And　yet　the　time　is　drawing　near

whenoh；　hush！　hush！　　Let　me　not　think　of　it…



〃There；　there；　be　still；〃　she　said　more　quietly　with　her　hand　upon

her　side。　　〃Hundreds　of　other　hearts　besides　your　own　are　aching。

Forget　yourself　in　relieving　them。〃



She　bathed　her　face；　put　some　brighter　flowers　in　her　hair；　and

went　down　among　the　other　guests；　seemingly　the　very　embodiment

of　sunshine。　　All　eyes　save　those　of　Ida　Mayhew　welcomed　her；　the

children　gathered　round　her；　Stanton　and　Van　Berg　were　both　eager

for　her　society　in　the　dance；　or　better　still；　for　a　promenade；　but

she　saw　Mr。　Mayhew　looking　wistfully　at　her；　and　she　went　straight

to　him。



With　unerring　tact　she　found　out　the　subjects　that　were　interesting

to　him；　and　reviving　his　faith　in　his　own　intelligence；　led　his

mind　through　sunny；　breezy　ranges　of　thought　that　made　the　time　he

spent　with　her　like　an　escape　from　the　narrow　walls　and　stifling

air　and　gloom　of　a　prison。











Chapter　XXIV。　　A　Hateful；　Wretched　Life。









The　advent　of　half　a　score　of　young　men　from　the　city　naturally

made　dancing　the　order　of　the　occasion　on　Saturday　evening。　　Mr。

Burleigh；　however；　gave　Sibley　a　hint　that　the　features　he　had

introduced　the　previous　week　must　be　omitted　tonight；　since　nothing

that　would　in　the　slightest　degree　lower　the　character　of　his

house　would　be　tolerated。　　The　excitement　therefore　that　Sibley　had

formerly　received　from　Cognac；　he　now　sought　to　obtain　by　pursuing

with　greater　ardor　his　flirtation　with　Ida。　　Indeed；　to　such　a

nature　as　his；　her　beauty　was　quite　as　intoxicating　as　the　〃spirit

of　wine。〃　　There　was　a　brilliancy　in　her　appearance　to　night　and

a　piquancy　in　her　words　that　struck　him　as　very　unusual。



Nor　was　he　alone　in　his　admiration。　　The　young　men　from　the

city　thronged　about　her；　and　her　hand　was　soon　engaged　for　every

dance　until　late　in　the　evening；　but　on　this　occasion　she　had　no

opportunity；　as　before；　of　declining　invitations　from　Van　Berg。

The　solicitations　of　others　went　for　little；　the　admiring　eyes

that　she　saw　following　her　on　every　side　could　not　compensate　for

the　lack　of　all　attention　from　him。　　He　danced　several　times；　but

it　was　with　those　who　seemed　to　be　neglected　by　others。　　In　his

quiet；　dignified　bearing；　in　his　unselfish　affability　toward　those

who　otherwise　would　have　had　a　dull　evening；　he　appeared　to　her　in

most　favorable　contrast　to　the　giddy　young　fellows　who　fluttered

around　her；　and　whose　supreme　thoughts　were　always　of　themselves；

and　of　her　only　as　she　could　minister　to　their　pleasure。



〃Miss　Burton　has　so　plainly　won　him；〃　she　thought；　〃that　he　has

adopted　her　tactics　of　looking　after　those　whom　every　one　neglects。

I　could　soon　show　him　the　one　he　has　the　greatest　power　of　cheering；

and　I　know　that　she　has　the　deepest　need　of　cheer　of　any　one　in

this　crowded　house；　but　I'd　rather　die　than　give　one　hint　of　our

first　meeting　he　has　humiliated　me；　and　I　in　return　love　him！　　But

he　shall　never　know　it。　　My　looks　can　be　as　cold　as　his。〃



And　so　they　were　toward　him；　but　for　all　others　she　had　had　the

gayest　smiles　and　repartee。　　Vividly　conscious　of　the　secret　she

would　so　jealously　guard；　she　sought　by　every　means　in　her　power

to　mask　it　from　him　and　all　others。　　She　would　even　permit　her　name

for　a　time　to　be　associated　with　a　man　she　detested　and　despised；

since　thus　the　truth　could　be　more　effectively　concealed。



Sibley's　attentions　were　certainly　ardent　enough　to　attract　attention；

and　occasionally　there　was　a　boldness　in　his　compliments；　which

she；　even　in　her　reckless　mood；　sharply　resented。　　His　eyes　seemed

to　grow　more　wolfish　every　time　she　encountered　them；　and　more　than

once　the　thought　crossed　her　mind：



〃What　a　heaven　it　would　be　to　look　up　into　the　eyes　of　a　man　I

could　trust；　and　who　honored　me。〃



What　torture　it　was　to　see　such　a　man　present；　and　yet　to　feel　that

he　justly　scorned　her。



Excitement　a