a face illumined-第33章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！



make；　he　took　too　much　for　grantednamely；　that　all　his　hearers

understood　sufficiently　the　character　of　God；　and　the　sense　in　which

the　Bible　uses　the　term　〃world；〃　not　to　misapprehend　the　nature

of　his　〃enmity。〃　To　seasoned　church…goers　the　sermon　was　both　true

and　very　satisfactory。



But　when　the　minister　reached　the　conclusion　of　his　argument　with

the　words；　〃So　then；　they　that　are　in　the　flesh　cannot　please　God；〃

poor　Ida　drew　a　long　dreary　sigh；　and　wished　she　had　remained　at

home。　　She　was　certainly　〃in　the　flesh；〃　if　any　one　were；　and　in

addition　to　the　fact　that　she　neither　pleased　herself　nor　any　one

else　that　she　respected　and　loved；　she　was　now　given　the　assurance；

apparently　fortified　by　Holy　Writ；　that　she　could　not　〃please　God。〃

The　simple　and　divine　diplomacy　by　which　this　〃enmity〃　is　removed

was　unknown　to　her。



She　turned　to　note　how　Miss　Burton　received　a　message　that　was　so

unwelcome　to　herself；　and　saw　that　she　was　not　listening。　　There

was　a　dreamy　far…away　look　in　her　eyes　that　clearly　was　not　inspired

by　the　thought　of　〃enmity。〃



〃She　is　probably　thinking　of　the　artist　and　the　ideal　future　that

he　can　give　her。　　How　foolish　it　is　in　poor　Ik　there　to　try　to　rival

HIM！　　It　was　an　unlucky　day　for　us　both；　cousin　of　mine；　when　we

came　to　this　place！〃



More　disheartened　and　despondent　than　ever；　she　rode　homeward　with

her　mother；　answering　questions　only　in　monosyllables。　　All　that

religion　had　said　to　her　that　morning　was：　　〃Give　up　the　worldall

with　which　you　have　hitherto　been　familiar；　and　have　enjoyed。〃　　God

was　an　infinite；　all…powerful；　remote　abstraction；　and　yet　for　His

sake　she　must　resign　everything　which　would　enable　her　to　forget；

or　at　least　disguise　the　pain　and　jealousy　which　were　at　times

almost　unendurable；　and　she　knew　of　no　substitute　with　which　to

replace　〃the　world〃　she　was　asked　to　forego。



This　religion　of　mere　negation；　expulsion；　and　restraint　is　too

often　presented　to　the　mind。　　Dykes　and　levees　are　very　useful；

and　in　some　places　essential；　but　if　low　malarial　shores　could　be

lifted　up　into　breezy　hills　and　table…lands；　this　would　be　better。

This　is　not　only　possible；　but　it　is　the　true　method　in　respect　to

the　human　soul；　and　one　should　seek　to　grow　better　not　by　sedulous

effort　to　keep　out　an　evil　world；　but　rather　to　fill　up　his　heart

with　a　good　pure　world　such　as　God　made　and　blessed。



The　sermon　Ida　heard　that　morning；　therefore；　only　added　to　the

burden　that　was　already　too　heavy　to　be　carried　much　longer。











Chapter　XXVI。　　Sunday　Table…talk。









To　the　relief　of　all　save　Mrs。　Mayhew；　Sibley　dined　with　a　couple

of　young；　fast　men；　who　enforced　their　invitation　by　the　irresistible

attraction　of　a　bottle　of　wine。



〃There　is　too　much　starch　and　dignity　at　that　table　to　suit　me；

any　way；〃　he　remarked。　　〃There　are　those　two　model　saints；　who　led

our　devotions　last　Sunday　evening；　flirting　with　ponderous　gravity

with　that　deep　little　school…ma'am；　who　has　turned　both　their

heads；　but　can't　make　up　her　mind　which　of　them　to　capture；　both

being　such　marvellously　good　game　for　one　of　her　class。　　Cute　Yankee

as　she　believes　herself　to　be；　she's　a　fool　to　think　that　either

of　them　is　more　than　playing　with　her。　　By　Jupiter！　but　it　would

be　sport　to　cut　'em　both　out；　and　I　could　do　it　if　I　were　up　here

a　week。　　Those　who　know　the　world　know　that　such　women　cipher　out

these　matters　in　the　spirit　of　New　England　thrift；　and　you　have

only　to　mislead　them　with　sufficient　plausible　data　to　capture　them

body　and　soul。〃　And　Sibley　complacently　sipped　his　wine　as　if　he

had　stated　all　there　was　to　be　said　on　the　subject。　　Few　men　prided

themselves　more　on　a　profound　knowledge　of　the　world　than　he。



Ida's　despondency　while　at　dinner　was　so　great　she　could　not　throw

it　off。　　Listlessly　and　wearily　she　barely　tasted　of　the　different

courses　as　they　were　passed　to　her。　　She　consciously　made　only　one

effort；　and　that　was　to　appear　utterly　indifferent　to　Van　Berg；　and

both　circumstances　and　his　contemptuous　neglect　made　but　little

feigning　necessary。　　The　evening　before　had　associated　her　so

inseparably　in　his　mind　with　Sibley；　that　he　was　beginning　to　regard

her　with　aversion。



〃Trivial　natures　are　disturbed　by　trivial　causes；〃　he　thought；　〃and

she　looks　as　if　the　world　had　turned　black　because　Sibley　has　been

lured　from　her　side　for　an　hour　by　a　bottle　of　wine。　　He'll　revive

her　again　before　supper。〃



〃How　wintry　that　old　gentleman　looks　who　is　just　entering！〃　Stanton

remarked。　　〃It　makes　one　shiver　to　think　of　becoming　as　frosty　and

white　as　he。〃



〃Oh；　don't　speak　of　being　old！〃　cried　Mrs。　Mayhew。　　〃Remember

there　are　some　at　the　table　who　are　in　greater　danger　of　that　final

misfortune　than　you　young　people。〃



〃Do　you　dread　being　old；　Miss　Burton？〃　Van　Berg　asked。



〃No；　but　I　do　the　process　of　growing　old。〃



〃For　once　we　think　alike；　Miss　Burton；〃　said　Ida　abruptly。　　〃To

think　of　plodding　on　through　indefinite　dreary　years　toward　the

miserable　conclusion　of　old　age！　and　yet　it　is　said　nothing　is　so

sweet　as　life。〃



〃Really；　Cousin；　your　advance　down　the　ages　reminds　one　more　of　a

quickstep　than　of　'plodding；'〃　remarked　Stanton。



〃The　step　matters　little；〃　she　retorted；　〃as　long　as　you　feel　as

if　you　were　going　to　your　own　funeral。　　I　agree　with　Miss　Burton；

that　growing　old　is　worse　than　being　old；　thought　Heaven　knows　that

both　are　bad　enough。〃



〃I'm　not　sure　that　Heaven　would　agree　with　either　of　us；〃　said　Miss

Burton；　gently。



〃I　fear　the　sermon　did　not　do　you　much　good；　Coz；〃　said　Stanton；

maliciously。



〃No；　it　did　not。　　It　did　me　harm；　if　such　a　thing　were　possible；〃

was　the　reckless　reply。



〃Human　nature　is　generally　regarded　as　capable　of　improvement；〃

remarked　Stanton；　sententiously。



〃I　was　not　speaking　of　human　nature　generally；〃　said　Ida；　〃I　was

thinking　of　myself。〃



〃As　usual；　my　charming　Cousin。〃



She　flushed　resentfully；　but　did　not　reply。



〃And　I　feel　that　Miss　Mayhew　has　done　herself　injustice　in　her

thought；〃　said　Miss　Burton；　with　a　sympathetic　glance　at　Ida。　　〃And

how　is　it　with　you；　Mr。　Van　Berg？　　Do　you　dread　growing　old？〃



〃I　fear　my　opinion　will　remind　you　of　Jack　Bunsby；〃　replied

the　artist。　　〃Growing　old　is　like　a　prospective　journey。　　So　much

depends　upon　the　country　through　which　you　travel　and　your　company。

My　father　and　mother　are　taking　a　summer　excursion　through　Norway

and　Sweden；　and　I　know　they　are　enjoying　themselves　abundantly。

They　have　had　a　good　time　growing　old。　　Why　should　not　others？〃



Ida　appeared　to　resent　his　words　bitterly；　and　with　a　tone　and

manner　that　surprised　every　one　she　said：



〃Mr。　Van　Berg；　I　could　not　have　believed　that　you　were　capable

of　making　so　superficial　a　reply。　　Why　not　say；　if　the　poor　were

rich；　if　the　ugly　were　beautiful；　if　the　sick　were　well；　if　the　bad

were　good；　and　we　all　had　our　heart's　desires；　we　could　journey　on

complacently　and　prosperously？〃



The　artist　flushed　deeply　under　this　address；　coming　from　such　an

unexpected　quarter；　but　he　replied　quietly：



〃That　allusion　with　which　I　prefaced　my　remark；　Miss　Mayhew；　proved

that　I　regard　my　opinion　as　of　little　value；　and　yet　I　have　no

better　one　to　offer。　　Nothing　is　more　trite　than　the　comparison

of　life　to　a　journey　or　a　pilgrimage。　　If　one　were　compelled　to

travel　with　very　disagreeable　people；　in　fifth…rate　conveyances；

and　through　regions　uninteresting　or　repulsive；　the　journey；　or　to

abandon　the　figure；　growing　old；　might　well　be　dreaded。　　From　my

soul　I　would　pity　one　condemned　to　such　a　fate。　　It　would；　indeed；

be　'dreary　plodding'　where　one's　best　hope　would　be　that　he　might

stumble　upon　his　grave　as　soon　as　possible。　　But　I　do　not　believe

in　any　such　dreary　fatalism。　　We　are　endowed　with　intelligence

to　choose　carefully　our　paths　and　companions；　and　I　cannot　help

thinking　that　the　majority　might　choose　wisely　enough　to　make　life

an　agreeable　journey　in　the　main。〃



〃Look　here；　Van；　I'm　no　casuist；〃　said　Stanton　with　a　shrug；　〃but

I　can　detect　a　flaw　in　your　philosophy　at　once。　　Suppose　one　wanted

good　company　and　could　not　get　it。〃



〃He　had　better　jog　on　alone；　in　that　case；　than　take　bad　company。〃



〃And　heavy　jogging　it　might　be　too；〃　muttered　Stanton；　with　a　frown。



Ida's　head　dropped　low　and　her　face　became　very　pale。　　Her　impulsive

cousin　in　expressing　his　own　tormenting　fear；　had　unconsciously

defined　what　promised　to　be　her　wretched　experience。　　She　felt

that　the　artist's　eyes　were　upon　her；　and　in　the　blind　impulse　to

shield　her　secret；　which　then　was　so　vividly　plain　to　her　consciousness；

she　raised　her　head　suddenly；　and　with　a　reckless　laugh　remarked：



〃For　a　wonder　I　also　can　half　agree　with　Mr。　Van　Bergcongenial

society　for　me　or　none　at　all。〃



A　second　later　she　could　have　bitten　her　tongue　out　before　uttering

words　virtually　claimed　Sibley　as　her　most　congenial　companion。



〃Miss　Mayhew　is　better　than　most　of　us　in　that　she　lives　up　to　her

theories；〃　Van　Berg　remarked；　coldly。



Her　eyes　shot　at　him　a　sudden　flash　of　impotent　protest　and　resentment；

and　then　she　lowered　her　head　with　a　flush　of　the　deepest　shame。



At　that　moment　a　loud　discordant　laugh　from　Sibley　caused　many　to

look　around　toward　him；　and　not　a　few　shook　their　heads　and　exchanged

significant　glances；　intimating　that　they　thought　the　young　man

was　in　a　〃bad　way。〃



〃Your　philosophy；　Mr。　Van　Berg；〃　said　Miss　Burton；　〃may　answer　very

well　for　the　wise　and　fortunate；　for　those　whose　lives　are　as　yet

unspoiled　and　unblighted　by　themselves　or　others。　　But　even　an

artist；　who　by　his　vocation　gives　his　attention　to　the　beautiful；

must　nevertheless　see　that　there　are　many　in　the　world　who　are　neither

wise　nor　fortunatewho　seem　predestined　by　their　circumstances；

folly；　and　defective　natures　to　blunder　and　sin　till　they　reach

a　point　where　reason　and　intelligence　can　do　little　more　for　them

than　reveal　how　foolish　and　wrong　they　have　been；　or　how　great

a　good　they　have　missed　and　lost　irrevocably。　　The　past；　with　its

opportunities；　has　gone；　and　the　remnant　of　earthly　life　offers

such　a　dismal　prospect；　and　they　find　themselves　so　shut　up　to

a　certain　lot；　so　shackled　by　the　very　conditions　in　which　they

exist；　that　they　are　disheartened。　　It　is　hard　for　many　of　us　not

to　feel　that　we　have　been　utterly　defeated　and　so　sink　into　fatal

apathy。〃



Mr。　Mayhew；　who　had　been　coldly　impassive　and　resolutely　taciturn

thus　far；　now　leaned　back　in　his　chair；　and　his　eyes　glowed　like

two　lamps　from　beneath　the　eaves　of　his　shaggy　brows。　　A　young　and

lovely　woman　was　giving　voice　to　his　own　crushed　and　ill…starred

nature；　and　strange　to　say；　she　identified　herself　with　the　class

for　which　she　spoke。　　in　the　depths　of　his　heart　he　bowed　down；

reverenced；　and