a face illumined-第46章

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her。〃



These　thoughts　passed　through　his　mind　as　he　stole　an　occasional

glance　at　their　object；　who　sat　with　her　profile　towards　him　almost

in　the　line　of　his　vision。　　At　the　same　time　he　was　apparently

listening　to　a　prosy　and　interminable　story　from　one　of　the　group

of　which　he　was　a　member。　　They　had　been　telling　anecdotes　of　travel；

and　the　last　speaker's　experience　was；　like　his　journey；　long　and

uninteresting。



Van　Berg　soon　observed　that　many　others　besides　himself　were　observing

Miss　Mayhew。　　She　seemed　to　fascinate；　perplex；　and　trouble　all

who　looked　towards　her。　　The　singular　beauty　and　striking　toilet

might　account；　in　part；　for　the　lingering　glances；　but　not　for　the

perplexity　and　uneasiness　they　caused。　　If　Ida　had　been　dead　her

features　could　not　have　been　more　colorless；　and　they　had　a　stern；

hard；　desperate　expression　that　was　sadly　out　of　harmony　with　what

should　be　the　appearance　of　a　happy　young　girl。



Her　presence　seemed　to　cause　an　increasing　chill　and　restraint。

The　healthful　and　normal　minds　of　those　about　her　grew　vaguely

conscious　of　another　mind　that　had　been　deeply　moved；　shaken　to

its　foundations；　and　so　had　become　almost　abnormal　and　dangerous

in　its　impulses。



There　is　a　very　general　tendency　both　to　observe　and　to　shrink

from　that　which　is　unnatural；　and　if　the　departure　from　what　is

customary　is　shown　in　unexpected　and　unusual　mental　action；　the

stronger　become　the　uneasiness　and　dread　in　those　who　witness　it。

All　who　saw　Ida　recognized　that　she　was　not　only　unlike　herself；

but　unlike　any　one　in　an　ordinary　state　of　mind；　and　people　who　were

intimate　looked　at　each　other　significantly；　as　if　to　ask〃What

is　the　matter　with　Miss　Mayhew？　　What　is　the　matter　with　us　all？〃



Were　it　not　that　the　maiden　occasionally　turned　a　leaf；　in　order

to　keep　up　the　illusion　that　she　was　reading；　she　might　have　been

a　statue；　so　motionless　was　her　form；　and　so　pallid　her　face。

But　she　felt　that　she　was　perplexing　and　troubling　those　who　had

wounded　her；　and　the　consciousness　gave　secret　satisfaction。　　Her

past　experience　taught　her　to　appreciate　stage　effect；　and；　since

she　meditated　a　tragedy；　she　proposed　that　everything　should　be　as

tragic　and　blood…curdling　as　possible。



There　is　usually　but　a　short　step　between　high　tragedy　and　painful

absurdity；　which　exasperates　us　while　we　laugh　at　it；　but　poor

Ida's　thoughts　were　so　desperately　dark　and　despairing；　and　her

exquisite　features；　made　almost　transparent　by　grief　and　fasting；

so　perfectly　interpreted　her　unfeigned　wretchedness；　that　even　those

who　knew　her　but　slightly　were　touched　and　troubled　in　a　way　that

they　could　not　explain　even　to　themselves。



Miss　Burton　was　evidently　meditating　how　she　could　approach　Ida；

who　seemed　encased　in　a　repellant　atmosphere。　　Van　Berg　saw　that

Stanton　looked　anxious　and　perplexed；　and　that　Mrs。　Mayhew　was

exceedingly　worried　and　annoyed。　　At　last　he　hastily　approached

her　daughter　and　whispered；



〃For　heaven's　sake；　Ida；　what's　the　matter？　　You　look　as　if　you

had　gone　into　mourning。〃



The　young　lady　glanced　coldly　up　and　said　stonily：



〃You　have　at　least　taught　me　to　dress　appropriately。〃



〃Nonsense；〃　continued　the　mother；　in　a　low；　irritable　tone。　　〃Why

can't　you　cheer　up　and　act　like　other　people？　　Don't　you　see　you're

giving　us　all　the　shivers？〃



She　slowly　swept　the　room　with　her　eyes；　and　saw　that　not　a　few

curious　glances　were　directed　towards　her。　　Then；　with　bowed　head；

she　glided　from　the　room　without　a　word。



Miss　Burton　caught　up　with　her　in　the　hall…way。　　〃You　are　ill；　Miss

Mayhew；〃　she　said；　with　gentle　solicitude。



〃Yes；〃　Ida　replied；　in　the　same　stony；　repellant　manner；　〃but　you

are　not　a　physician；　Miss　Burton。　　Good　evening。〃　　And　she　went

swiftly　up　to　her　own　room；　as　if　determined　to　speak　with　no　one

else　that　evening。











Chapter　XXXVI。　　Temptation's　Voice









Van　Berg　had　been　so　near　that　he　could　not　help　overhearing　Mrs。

Mayhew's　words　which　had　led　to　the　abrupt　and　silent　departure　of

her　daughter　from　the　parlor。



〃There　is　some　misunderstanding　here；〃　he　thought；　〃whose　effects

are　becoming　outrageously　cruel。　　The　poor　girl　was　driven　away

from　the　supper…table；　and　now　she　is　driven　out　of　the　parlor。

She　has　been　an　anomaly　from　the　moment　I　saw　her；　and　I　now　mean

to　fathom　the　mystery。　　Her　exquisite　face　indicates　that　she

is　almost　desperate　from　some　kind　of　trouble。　　She　is　becoming

illshe　is　wasting　under　it。　　Sibley　would　be　a　fatal　malady　to

any　respectable　girl；　but　I　must　give　up　all　pretence　of　skill　at

diagnosis　if　he　is　the　cause；　for　were　her　heart　set　on　him　why　the

mischief　can't　she　go　to　him　with　all　her　old　reckless　flippancy？

There　is　no　need　of　any　elopement；　as　Ik　fears。　　She　can　easily

compel　her　mother　to　go　to　the　city；　and　her　father　would　have　no

power　to　prevent　the　alliance；　were　she　bent　upon　it。　　I　believe　her

family　misunderstand　and　are　wronging　her；　and　I　may　have　occasion

to　go　down　on　my　knees　myself；　metaphorically；　and　ask　her　pardon

for　my　superior　airs。〃



These　and　kindred　other　thoughts　passed　through　his　mind　as　he

slowly　paced　up　and　down　a　side　piazza　which　he　often　sought　when

he　wished　to　be　alone。　　Stanton；　having　lost　Miss　Burton　for　the

evening；　soon　joined　him；　and　threw　himself　dejectedly　into　a　chair。



〃Van；〃　he　said；　〃I　used　to　be　rather　self…complacent。　　I　thought

I　had　learned　to　take　life　so　philosophically　that　I　should　have　a

good　time　as　long　as　my　health　lasted。　　But　to…night　I　feel　as　if

life　were　a　horribly　heavy　burden　which　I；　an　overladen　jackass；

must　carry　for　many　a　weary　day。　　How　little　we　know　what　we　are

and　what　is　before　us！　　I've　been　a　fool；　I　am　a　fool！〃



〃Well；　Ik；〃　replied　Van　Berg　with　a　shrug；　〃I　imagine　there　is　a

pair　of　us。　　My　reasonall　that's　decent　in　merefuses　to　regard

Sibley　as　the　cause　of　your　cousin's　most　evident　distress。　　For

heaven's　sake　don't　confirm　your　words　of　this　afternoon；　or　I　shall

feel　like　taking　the　first　train；　in　order　to　escape　from　the　most

exasperating　paradox　that　ever　contradicted　a　man's　senses。〃



〃Van；　you　are　right。　　I　am　mortified　with　myself　beyond　measure；

and　I　am　bitterly　ashamed　that　my　aunt；　her　own　mother；　should

have　so　grossly　misjudged　her。　　Sibley；　no　doubt；　IS　the　occasion

of　her　trouble　in　part；　for　she　seems　fairly　to　writhe　under　the

false　position　in　which　he　has　placed　her　by　leading　every　one　to

associate　her　name　with　his；　but　I　now　believe　that　she　loathes

and　detests　him　more　than　you　or　I　can。　　Certainly　no　woman　could

speak　of　a　man　in　harsher　or　more　scathing　terms　than　she　spoke

of　him　to…night。　　Well；　to　sum　up　the　whole　miserable　trough；　by

taking　her　mother's　view　for　granted；　I　made　such　a　mess　of　it　that

I　doubt　if　she　ever　speaks　civilly　to　either　of　us　again。〃



〃Why！　was　my　name　mentioned？〃　asked　Van　Berg；　quickly。



〃Yes；　confound　it　all！　　When　things　are　going　wrong　there　is　a

miserable　fatality　about　them；　and　the　worst　always　happens。　　She

asked　me　point…blank　if　you　shared　my　estimate　of　her；　and　I　suppose

got　the　impression　you　did。〃



〃Well　really；　Stanton；〃　said　Van　Berg；　with　some　irritation；　〃I

think　you　must　have　been　unfortunate　in　your　language。〃



〃Worse　than　unfortunate。　　The　whole　blunder　is　unpardonable。

Still；　do　me　justice。　　I　could　not　answer　her　question　with　a　bold

lie。　　And　what　would　have　been　its　use？　　How　could　you　explain　your

bearing　towards　her　at　the　supper　table？　　Your　manner　would　have

frozen　Jezebel　herself。〃



〃I　was　an　infernal　fool；〃　groaned　Van　Berg。



〃It　is　due　to　us　both　that　I　should　say　I　told　her　you　had　tried

to　form　a　good　opinion　of　her；　and　very　reluctantly　received　the

view　her　mother　suggested。　　I　said；　in　effect；　you　wished　to　think

well　of　her；　although　she　had　treated　you　so　badly。〃



〃Treated　me　badly！　　I　have　treated　her　a　thousandfold　worse。　　She；

at　least；　has　never　insulted　me；　and　I　can　never　forgive　myself

for　the　insult　I　have　offered　her。



〃Well；　I　hope　to　find　her　in　the　mood　to　accept　an　apology　in　the

morning；〃　said　Stanton。



〃I'm　in　a　confoundedly　awkward　position　to　apologize；〃　growled

Van　Berg。　　〃Any　reference　to　such　an　affair　will　be　like　another

insult；〃　and　the　friends　parted　in　an　unsatisfactory　state　of　mind

towards　each　other；　and　especially　towards　themselves。



But　that　was　a　sad　and　memorable　night　to　Ida　Mayhew。　　She　felt

that　it　might　be　her　last　on　earth；　for　her　dark　purpose　was　rapidly

taking　definite　form。



she　was　passing　into　that　unhealthful　condition　of　mental　excitement；

in　which　the　salutary　restraints　of　the　physical　nature　lose　their

power。　　In　the　place　of　drowsiness　and　weariness；　she　began　to

experience　an　unnatural　exaltation　which　would　make　any　reckless

folly　possible；　if　it　took　the　guise　of　sublime　and　tragic　action。



Few　realize　to　what　degree　the　mind　can　become　warped　and　disordered；

even　with　a　brief　time；　by　trouble　and　the　violation　of　the　laws

of　health；　and　some；　by　education　and　temperament；　are　peculiarly

predisposed　to　abnormal　conditions。　　Science　has　taught　men　how

to　build　ships　with　water…tight　compartments；　so　that　if　disaster

crushes　in　on　one　side；　the　other　parts　may　save　from　sinking。

There　are　fortunate　people　who　are　built　on　the　same　safe　principle。

They　have　cultivated　minds；　and　varied　resources　in　artistic　and

scientific　pursuits。　　Above　all　else；　they　may　have　faith　in　God　and

a　better　life　to　come；　such　possessions　are　like　the　compartments

of　a　modern　ship。　　Few　disasters　can　destroy　them　all；　and　in　the

loss　of　one　or　more　the　soul　is　kept　afloat　by　the　others。



But　it　would　seem　that　poor　Ida's　character　had　been　constructed

with　fatal　simplicity；　and　when　the　cold　waves　of　trouble　rushed

in　there　was　nothing　to　prevent　her　from　sinking　beneath　them　like

a　stone。　　Her　mind　was　uncultivated；　and　art；　science；　literature

offered　her　as　yet　no　resources；　no　pursuits。　　She　had　a　woman's

heart　that　might　have　been　filled　with　sustaining　love；　but　in　its

place　had　come　a　sudden　and　icy　flood　of　disappointment　and　despair。

She　loved；　with　all　the　passion　and　simplicity　of　a　narrow；　yet

earnest　nature；　the　man　who　had　awakened　the　woman　within　her；

and　he；　she　believed；　would　never　give　her　aught　in　return；　save

contempt。　　She　naturally　thought　that　she　had　been　degraded　in　his

estimation　beyond　all　ordinary　means　of　redemption；　therefore；　in

her　desperation　and　despair；　she　was　ready　to　take　an　extraordinary

method　of　compelling　at　least　his　respect。



Moreover；　Ida　was　impatient　and　impetuous　by　nature。　　She　had　a

large　capacity　for　action；　but　little　for　endurance。　　It　would　be

almost　impossible　for　her　to　reach　woman's　loftiest　heroism；　and

sit　〃like　Patience　on　a　monument；　smiling　at　grief。〃　　It　would　b