a face illumined-第53章

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encourage　them；　as　far　as　he　could；　and　then　retire　from　the　scene

as　soon　as　circumstances　permitted。　　He　had　been　too　thoroughly

frightened　to　wish　to　continue　in　the　role　of　a　spiritual　reformer；

and　he　had　a　growing　perception　that；　with　his　present　motive　and

knowledge；　the　work　was　infinitely　beyond　him。　　He　began　to　fear

that　he　was　like　certain　physicians；　whose　skill　consists　chiefly

in　their　power　to　aggravate　disease　rather　than　to　cure　it。　　He

had　found　Ida　a　vain；　silly　girl；　apparently。　　He　had　parted　the

previous　evening　from　a　desperate　woman；　capable　of　self…destruction；

and　her　letter　inseparably　linked　him　with　the　marvellous　change。

Thus　he　gained　the　uneasy　impression　that　there　was　too　much

nitro…glycerine　in　human　nature　in　general；　and　in　Ida　Mayhew　in

particular；　for　him　to　use　such　material　in　working　out　metaphysical

and　artistic　problems。



At　the　end　of　his　long　morning　walk　he　concluded：



〃Poor　child！　after　her　eyes　were　opened　she　could　not　help　seeing

a　great　deal　that　was　exceedingly　depressing。　　In　regard　to　her

parents；　she　is　far　worse　off　than　if　orphaned。　　In　regard　to　herself；

she　finds　that　her　best　years　are　gone；　and　she　has　neither　culture

of　mind　nor　heartthat　her　beauty　is　but　a　mask　that　cannot　long

conceal　the　enduring　imperfection　and　deformity　of　her　character。

She　associates　these　discoveries　with　me　because　I　first　disturbed

her　vanity；　but　the　beauty　of　Jennie　Burton's　life；　the　dastardly

behavior　of　Sibley；　and　the　deep　humiliation　received　through　him；

with　other　circumstances；　have　all　combined　to　bring　about　the

revelation。　　And　yet；　confound　it　all！　I　did　act　the　stupid　Pharisee

on　several　occasions；　and　I　might　as　well　own　it　both　to　her　and

myself。　　A　Pharisee　is　a　fool　'per　se。'　Well；　I'm　sorry　to　say；　her

outlook　for　life　is　dark　at　best；　even　if　she　were　not　so　fearfully

rash　and　unbalanced。　　As　it　is　I　expect　to　hear　some　sad　story　of

Ida　Mayhew　before　many　years　pass。　　I'll　try　to　brighten　a　few　days

for　her；　however；　before　I　go　to　town；　and　then　the　farther　we　can

drift　apart　the　better。　　How　delightful；　in　contrast；　is　the　sense

of　rest　and　security　that　Jennie　Burton　always　inspires　in　spite

of　her　sad　mystery。〃











Chapter　XLI。　　The　Protestant　Confessional。









Ida's　sleep　was　almost　as　deep　and　quiet；　and　when　her　mother　stole

in　to　look　at　her　from　time　to　time　the　following　morning；　her　face

was　as　colorless；　as　if　she　had　taken　the　drug　which　Van　Berg's

heel　had　ground　into　the　earth；　but　Mrs。　Mayhew　observed　with

satisfaction　that　her　respiration　was　as　regular　and　natural　as

that　of　a　little　child。　　Wronged　nature　will；　to　a　certain　extent；

forgive　the　young　and　restore　to　them　the　priceless　treasures　of

health　and　strength　they　throw　away。　　Ida　had　been　a　sad　spendthrift

of　both　lately；　but　now　that　the　evil　spell　was　broken；　the　poor

worn　body　and　mind　sank　into　a　long　and　merciful　oblivion；　during

which　a　new　life　began　to　flow　back　from　the；　as　yet；　unexhausted

fountain　of　youth。



She　awoke　late　in　the　morning；　and　it　was　some　moments　before　she

could　recall　all　that　had　happened。　　Then；　as　she　remembered　her

dreadful　purpose；　there　came　a　strong　rush　of　grateful　feeling　that

she　HAD　awakenedthat　life　and　its　opportunities　were　still　hers。



For　a　moment　she　portrayed　to　herself　what　she　had　supposed　would

have　happened　that　dayshe　imagined　herself　lying　white　and

stillthe　people　coming　and　going　on　tiptoe　and　speaking　in　hushed

tones；　as　if　death　were　but　a　troubled　and　easily　broken　sleep；

while　they　looked　at　her　with　faces　in　which　curiosity　and　horror

were　equally　blended；　she　saw　her　father　staring　at　her　in　utter

despair；　and　her　mother　trying；　in　a　pitifully　helpless　way；　to

think　how　appearances　might　still　be　kept　up　and　a　little　shred　of

respectability　retained。　　She　saw　the　artist　looking　at　her　with

stern；　white　face；　and　heard　him　mutter：　　〃What　were　you　to　me

that　you　should　commit　this　awful　deed　and　lay　it　at　my　door；　thus

blighting　a　life　full　of　the　richest　promise　with　your　horrible

shadow？〃



〃Thank　God；　thank　God！〃　she　cried　passionately。　　〃It's　all　like　a

dreadful　dream　and　never　happened。〃



〃Why；　Ida；　what　IS　the　matter？〃　said　Mrs。　Mayhew；　coming　in　hastily。



〃I　had　a　bad　dream；〃　said　Ida；　with　something　like　a　low　sob。



〃Ida；　I　want　you　to　see　the　doctor；　to…day。　　You　haven't　acted　like

yourself　for　over　two　weeks。〃



〃Mother；　what　time　is　it？〃



〃Ten　o'clock　and　after。〃



〃Please　draw　the　curtain。　　I　want　to　see　the　sunlight。〃



〃The　sun　is　very　hot　to…day。〃



〃Is　it？〃　　Then　under　her　breath　she　murmured：　　〃Thank　God；　so　it

is。〃



She　arose　and　began　making　her　toilet　slowly；　for　the　languor　of

her　long　sleep　and　excessive　fatigue　was　on　her　still。　　But　thought

was　very　busy。　　The　subject　uppermost　in　her　mind　was　the　promised

visit　to　old　Mr。　Eltinge；　and　she　resolved　to　go　at　once；　if　it

were　a　possible　thing。　　Mrs。　Mayhew　having　again　referred　to　her

purpose　of　sending　for　a　physician；　Ida　turned　to　her　and　said；

decisively：



〃Mother；　do　you　not　realize　that　I　am　not　a　child？　　What　is　the　use

of　sending　for　a　doctor　when　I　will　not　see　him？　　I　askI　insist

that　you　and　Mr。　Stanton　interfere　with　me　no　longer。〃



〃My　goodness；　Ida；　shall　not　I；　your　own　mother；　take　any　care　of

you？〃



〃It　is　too　late　in　the　day　now　to　commence　taking　care　of　me。　　You

have　permitted　me　to　grow　up　so　wanting　in　mental　and　moral　culture

that　you　naturally　suspect　me　of　the　vilest　action。　　Henceforth

I　take　care　of　myself；　and　act　for　myself；〃　and　she　abruptly　left

the　room　and　went　to　Mr。　Burleigh's　office；　requesting　that　the

light　phaeton　and　a　safe　horse；　such　as　she　could　drive；　should　be

sent　around　to　he　door　at　once。



〃Miss　Ida；　you've　not　been　well。　　Do　you　think　you　had　better　go

out　in　the　heat　of　the　day？〃　asked　Mr。　Burleigh；　kindly。



She　looked　at　him　a　moment；　and　then　said；　a　little　impulsively；

〃Mr。　　Burleigh；　I　thank　you　for　speaking　to　me　in　that　way。　　Yes；

I　wish　to　go；　and　think　I　shall　be　better　for　it。〃



As　she　entered　the　large　hall；　Van　Berg；　who　had　been　on　the　watch；

rose　to　greet　her；　but　she　merely　bowed　politely　and　distantly；

and　passed　at　once　into　the　dining　room。　　After　a　hasty　breakfast

she　returned　to　her　room　by　a　side　passage；　and　prepared　for　her

expedition；　paying　no　heed　to　her　mother's　expostulations。



Van　Berg　was　on　the　piazza　when　she　came　down；　but　she　passed　him

swiftly；　giving　him　no　time　to　speak　to　her；　and　springing　into　the

phaeton；　drove　away。　　His　anxiety　was　so　deep　that　he　took　pains　to

note　the　road　she　took；　and　then　waited　impatiently　for　her　return。



After　driving　several　miles；　and　making　a　few　inquiries　by　the

way；　Ida　found　herself　approaching　an　old…fashioned　house　secluded

among　the　hills。



It　was　on　a　shady　side　road；　into　which　but　few　eddies　from　the

turbulent　current　of　worldly　life　found　their　way。



The　gate　stood　hospitably　open；　and　she　drove　in　under　the　shade　of

an　enormous　silver　poplar；　whose　leaves　fluttered　in　the　breathless

summer　air；　as　if　each　one　possessed　a　separate　life　of　its　own。



As　she　drew　near　to　the　house　she　saw　old　Mr。　Eltinge　coming　from

his　garden　to　greet　her。



〃I　had　about　given　you　up；〃　he　said；　〃and　so　you　are　doubly　welcome。

Old　people　are　like　children；　and　don't　bear　disappointments　very

well。〃



〃Did　you　really　want　to　see　me　very　much？〃　Ida　asked；　as　he　assisted

her　to　alight。



〃Yes；　my　child；〃　he　replied；　gravely；　holding　her　hand　in　a　strong；

warm　grasp。　　〃I　felt；　from　your　manner　last　evening；　you　were

sincere。　　You　come　on　an　errand　that　is　most　pleasing　to　my　Master；

and　I　welcome　you　in　his　name　as　well　as　my　own。〃



〃Perhaps　if　you　knew　all　you　would　not　welcome　me；〃　she　said　in　a

low　tone；　turning　away。



〃Only　for　one　cause　could　I　withdraw　my　welcome；〃　he　said；　still

more　gravely。



〃What　is　that？〃　she　asked　in　a　lower　tone；　not　daring　to　look　at

him。



〃If　you　are　not　sincere；〃　he　replied；　looking　at　her　keenly。



Giving　him　her　hand　again；　and　looking　up　into　his　face；　she　said；

earnestly：



〃Mr。　Eltinge；　I　am　sincere。　　I　could　not　be　otherwise　with　you

after　your　words　last　night。　　I　come　to　you　in　great　trouble；　with

a　burdened　heart　and　conscience；　and　I　shall　tell　you　everything；

and　then　you　must　advise　me；　for　I　have　no　other　friend　to　whom　I

can　go。〃



〃Oh；　yes；　you　have；　my　child；〃　said　the　old　man；　cheerily。　　〃The

One　they　called　the　'Friend　of　sinners'　is　here　to…day　to　welcome

you；　and　is　more　ready　to　receive　and　advise　you　than　I　am。　　I'm

not　going　to　do　anything　for　you　but　lead　you　to　him　who　said；

'Come　unto　me；　all　ye　that　are　heavy　laden；'　and；　'Whosoever　cometh

I　will　in　nowise　cast　out。'〃



〃How　much　you　make　those　words　mean；　as　you　speak　them；〃　faltered

Ida。　　〃You　almost　lead　me　to　feel　that　not　far　away　there　is　some

one；　good　and　tender…hearted；　who　will　take　me　by　the　hand　with

reassuring　kindness；　as　you　have。〃



〃And　you　are　right。　　Why；　bless　you；　my　child；　religion　doesn't　do

us　much　good　until　we　learn　to　know　our　Lord　as　'good　and　tender…hearted；'

and　so　near；　too；　that　we　can　speak　to　him；　whenever　we　wish；　as

the　disciples　did　in　old　times。　　So　don't　be　one　bit　discouraged；

see；　I'll　fasten　your　horse　right　here　in　the　shade；　and　by　and　by

I'll　have　him　fed；　for　you　must　spend　the　day　with　us；　and　not　go

back　until　the　cool　of　the　evening。　　It　hasn't　seemed　hospitable

that　you　should　have　stood　so　long　here　under　the　trees；　and　I

didn't　mean　that　you　should；　but　things　never　turn　out　as　we　expect。〃



〃It　is　often　well　they　don't；〃　thought　Ida；　as　she　looked　around

the　quiet　and　quaintly　beautiful　spot；　to　which　a　kind　Providence

had　brought　her。　　It　seemed　as　if　her　burden　already　were　beginning

to　grow　lighter。



〃Now　come　in；　my　child；　and　tell　me　all　your　trouble。〃



〃Please；　Mr。　Eltinge；　may　I　not　go　back　with　you　into　the　garden？〃



〃Yes；　why　not？　　We　can　talk　there　just　as　well；〃　and　he　led　her

to　a　rustic　seat　in　a　shady　walk；　while　from　a　tool…house　near　he

brought　out　for　himself　a　chair　that　had　lost　its　back。



〃I'll　lean　against　this　pear…tree；〃　he　said。　　〃It's　young　and

strong；　and　owes　me　a　good　turn。　　Now；　my　child；　tell　me　what　you

think　best；　and　then　I'll　tell　you　of　One　whose　word　and　touch

cures　every　trouble。〃



But　poor　Ida　had　sudden　and　strong　misgivings。　　As　she　saw　the

old　gentleman　surrounded　by　his　flowers　and　fruits；　as　she　glanced

hesitatingly　into　his　serene；　quiet　face；　from　which　the　fire　and

passion　of　youth　had　long　since　faded；　she　thought。　　〃So　Adam　might

have　looked　had　he　never　sinned　but　grown　old　in　his　beautiful

garden。　　This　aged　man；　who　lives　nearer　heaven　than　earth；　can't

understand　my　wicked；　passionate　hea