a face illumined-第75章

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never　be　able　to　do　any　more　than　furnish　a　little　simple　home

music　to　friends；　not　critics。〃



〃I'm　content　with　that　arrangement；　for　I　have　finally　dropped　my

character　of　critic。〃



〃But　true　friends　never　flatter；〃　she　said。　　〃If　you　won't　help　me

overcome　my　faults　I　shall　have　to　find　another　friend。〃



〃As　you　recommended　an　ancient　woman　as　nurse；　so　I　will　recommend

the　venerable　friend　you　have　already　found；　and　ask　you　to　let

him　do　all　the　fault…finding。〃



She　turned　to　him　and　said　earnestly：　　〃Mr。　Van　Berg；　are　you　not

a　sufficiently　sincere　friend　to　tell　me　my　faults？〃



〃Yes；　Miss　Ida；　if　you　ask　me　to。〃



〃Only　as　you　do　so　can　you　keep　my　respect。〃



〃You　are　very　much　in　earnest。　　I　never　saw　greater　fidelity　to

conscience　before；　and　I　should　be　very　sorry　if；　for　any　cause；

your　conscience　were　arrayed　against　me。〃



She　suddenly　buried　her　face　in　her　hands　and　trembled。　　Then

turning　from　him　to　her　piano　again　she　faltered：　　〃I　disregarded

conscience　once　and　I　suffered　deeply；〃　and　in　the　depths　of　her

soul　she　added；　〃and　I　fear　I　shall　again。〃



〃Miss　Ida；〃　he　said　impetuously；　〃I　cannot　tell　you　what

a　fascination　your　new；　beautiful　life　has　for　me　as　seen　against

the　dark　background　of　memories　which　neither　you　nor　I　can　ever

wholly　banish。　　But　I　am　causing　you　pain　now；〃　for　she　became　very

pale；　as　was　ever　the　case　when　there　was　the　faintest　allusion

to　the　awful　crime　which　she　had　contemplated。　　〃Forgive　me；〃　he

added　earnestly；　〃and　sing；　please；　that　little　meadow　brook　song；

of　which　I　caught　a　few　bars　last　evening。　　That；　I　think；　must

contain　an　antidote　against　all　morbid　thoughts。〃



〃You　are　mistaken；〃　she　said。　　〃It's　very　silly　and　sentimental；

you　won't　like　it。〃



〃Nevertheless　please　sing　it；　for　if　not　to　my　taste；　you　will

prevent　it　from　running　in　my　head　any　longer；　as　it　has　ever　since

I　heard　it。〃



〃You　will　never　ask　for　it　again；〃　she　said；　and　she　sang　the

following　words　to　a　low…gliding　melody　designed　to　suggest　the

murmur　of　a　small　stream：





'Twas　down　in　a　meadow；　close　by　a　brook；

A　violet　bloomed　in　a　shadowy　nook。

She　gazed　at　the　rill　with　a　wistful　eye…

〃He　cares　not　for　me；　he's　hastening　by；〃

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　She　sighed。

In　sunshine　and　shade　the　brook　sped　along；

Nor　ceased　for　a　moment　his　gurgling　song。

〃'Twould　sing　all　the　same　were　I　withered　and　dead〃…

And　the　blue…eyed　violet　bowed　her　head

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　And　died。



But　the　rill　and　the　song　went　on　the　same

Till　the　pitiless　frost　of　winter　came；

When　the　song　was　hushed　in　an　icy　chill；

And　the　gay　little　brook　at　last　stood　still

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　And　thought…

〃Oh；　could　I　now　see　the　violet　blue

that　looked　at　me　once　with　eyes　of　dew；

I'd　spring　to　her　feet　and　lingering　stay

Till　sure　I　was　bearing　her　love　away；

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　Well　sought。〃





The　song　seemed　to　disturb　the　artist　somewhat。　　〃The　stupid　brook！〃

he　exclaimed。　　〃It　was　so　stupid　as　to　be　almost　human。〃



〃I　knew　you　wouldn't　like　it；〃　she　said；　looking　up　at　him　in

surprise。



〃I　like　your　singing　and　the　music；　but　that　brook　provokes　me；

the　little　idiot！　　Why　didn't　it　stop　before？〃



〃I　take　the　brook's　part；〃　said　Ida。　　〃Because　the　violet　gazed　at

it　in　a　lackadaisical　way　was　no　reason　for　its　stopping　unless　it

wanted　to。　　Indeed；　if　I　were　the　violet　I　should　want　the　brook

to　go　on；　unless　it　couldn't　help　stopping。〃



〃It　did　stop　when　it　couldn't　help　itself；　and　then　it　was　too

late；〃　said　Van　Berg；　with　a　frown。



Ida　trilled　out　one　of　her　sudden　laughs；　as　she　said；　〃Don't　take

the　matter　so　to　heart；　Mr。　Van　Berg。　　When　spring　came　the　brook

went　on　as　merrily　as　ever；　and　was　well　contented　to　have　other

violets　look　at　it。〃



〃Miss　Ida；　you　are　a　witch；〃　said　the　artist；　and　with　an　odd；

involuntary　gesture　he　passed　his　hand　across　his　brow　as　if　to

brush　away　a　mist　or　film　from　his　mind。



〃Oh！〃　thought　Ida；　with　passionate　longing；　〃may　my　spells　hold；

or　else　I　may　feel　like　following　the　example　of　the　silly　little

violet。〃　But　she　pirouetted　up　to　her　father；　who　was　just　entering；

and　said：　〃It's　time　you　came；　father。　　Mr。　Van　berg　has　begun

calling　me　names。〃



〃I　shall　follow　his　example　by　calling　you　my　good　fairy。　　Mr。　Van

Berg；　I　have　been　in　paradise　all　the　week。〃



〃I　shall　not　join　this　mutual　admiration　society；　and　I　insist　that

you　two　gentlemen　talk　in　a　sensible　way。〃



But　Van　Berg　seemed　to　find　it　difficult　to　come　down　to

a　matter…of…fact　conversation　with　Mr。　Mayhew；　and　soon　after　took

his　leave。　　Before　going　he　tried　to　induce　Ida　to　come　to　the

studio　again；　but　she　declined；　saying：



〃Mother　has　entrusted　to　me　several　commissions；　and　I　must　attend

to　them　to…morrow　morning。　　As　it　is；　my　conscience　troubles　me

very　much　that　I　have　left　her　alone　all　the　week；　and　I　shall　try

to　make　all　the　amends　I　can　by　getting　what　she　wishes。〃



〃Oh！　your　terrible　conscience！〃　he　said。



〃Yes；　it　has　been　scolding　me　all　day　for　wasting　so　much　of　your

time。　　Now　don't　burden　yours　with　any　denials。　　Good…night。〃



He　turned　eagerly　to　protest　against　her　words；　but　she　was　retreating

rapidly；　she　gave　him　a　smile　over　her　shoulder；　however；　that　was

at　once　full　of　mirth　and　something　moresomething　that　he　could

not　explain　or　grasp　any　more　than　he　could　the　soft；　silvery　light

of　the　moon　that　filled　the　sky；　and　was　as　real　as　it　was　intangible。

He　walked　away　as　if　in　a　dream；　he　continued　his　aimless　wanderings

for　hours；　but　swift　as　were　his　strides　a　swifter　current　of

passion；　deep　and　strong；　was　sweeping　him　away　from　Jennie　Burton

and　the　power　to　make　good　his　open　pledge　to　win　her　if　he　could。

He　still　was　dreaming；　he　still　was　lost　in　the　luminous　mists

of　his　own　imagination。　　But　the　hour　of　waking　and　clear　vision

was　drawing　near；　and　Harold　Van　Berg　would　learn　anew　that　the

cool；　well…balanced　reason　on　which　he　had　once　so　prided　himself

was　scarcely　equal　to　all　the　questions　which　complex　human　life

presents。











Chapter　LI。　　From　Deep　Experience。









With　the　night　dreams　began　to　vanish　and　the　prose　of　reality

gradually　to　take　form　and　outline　in　Van　Berg's　mind。　　He　was

compelled　to　admit　that　the　plausible　theories　by　which　he　had

hitherto　satisfied　himself　scarcely　accounted　for　his　moods　and

sensations　the　past　few　days；　and　memory　quietly　informed　him　that

it　had　never　had　any　consciousness　of　such　a　friendship　as　he　now

was　forming。　　But　like　many　another　man　in　the　process　of　conviction

against　his　will；　he　became　irritable　and　angrily　blind　to　a　truth

that　would　place　him　in　an　intolerable　dilemma。　　He　went　to　his

studio；　and　worded　with　dogged　obstinacy　on　the　picture　designed　for

Ida；　giving　his　time　to　those　details　which　required　only　artistic

skill；　for　his　perturbed　mind　was　in　no　mood　for　any　nice　creative

work。



He　had　agreed　to　meet　Ida　and　her　father　on　the　afternoon　boat；

and　his　impatience；　and　the　early　hour　he　started　to　keep　the

appointment；　was　another　straw　which　he　was　compelled　to　see　in

spite　of　himself；　nor　could　he　fail　to　note　which　way　the　current

was　bearing　him。



〃Well；〃　he　muttered；　with　the　fatuity　common　in　all　strong　temptations；

〃I'll　spend　a　few　more　hours　with　this　rare　Undine；　this　genuine

woman；　whoinfinitely　more　beautiful　than　Venusis　rising　out　of

the　dark　waters　of　sorrow；　shame；　and　despair；　and　then　if　I　find

that　it　will　be　wiser　and　safer　to　be　only　a　somewhat　unobtrusive　and

distant　friend；　showing　my　good…will　more　by　deeds　than　by　seeking

her　society；　I　can　gradually　take　this　course　without　wounding

her　feelings　or　exciting　suspicion　of　the　cause。　　She　was　right；

although　she　little　imagines　the　reason；　we　could　never　have　those

readings　together；　and　I　fear　I　must　manage　with　far　fewer　visits

to　my　studio　than　I　had　hoped　for。　　What　an　accursed　chaotic　old

world　it　is　anyway！　　How　grateful　she　is　because　I　merely　treat

her　father　politely！　　It　would　be　impossible　to　do　anything　else；

now　that　he　is　himself　again；　and　yet；　by　this　simple；　easy　method；

I　have　won　a　friendlier　regard　than　I　could　by　any　other　means。

Like　an　idiot；　I　once　thought　she　would　have　to　withdraw　from　her

father　to　develop　her　new　and　beautiful　life。　　If　even　in　faintest

suggestion　I　had　revealed　that　thought　to　her；　I　don't　believe

she　would　have　spoken　to　me　again；　and　I　foresee　that　I　shall　have

to　be　exceedingly　polite　to　Mrs。　Mayhew　also；　for　my　Undine　is

developing　a　conscience　that　might　become　a　man's　implacable　enemy。

But　what　am　I　thinking　about！　　If　I　do　not　intend　to　see　much　of

the　daughter；　I　shall　not　waste　any　time　on　the　mother。　　I　wonder

if　Miss　Mayhew　meant　anything　by　that　odd　little　ballad　last　evening。

Could　she　have　intended　to　remind　me　of　blue…eyed　Jennie　Burton？

No；　for　she　was　singing　it　by　herself；　when　she　did　not　know　I　was

listening。　　The　idiotic　brook！　　If　I　had　given　my　whole　heart　to

the　effort　I　might　have　won　Jennie　Burton　by　this　time。　　Ida　Mayhew

was　right；　no　woman　that　I　wish　to　win　will　show　a　lover　any　favor

till　he　cannot　help　stopping　and　staying；　too。〃



A　moment　later　he　stopped　short　in　the　street。　　〃Great　God！〃　muttered

he；　〃do　I　wish　to　win　Jennie　Burton？　　Whither　am　I　drifting？　　Would

to　heaven　I　had　not　made　this　appointment　this　afternoon。　　Well；

I'm　in　for　it　now；〃　and　he　strode　along　as　if　he　were　going　to

battle；　resolving　to　be　guarded　to　the　last　degree；　lest　Ida　should

suspect　his　weakness。



He　saw　her　come　on　the　boat　with　her　father　at　the　last　moment；

her　cheeks　flushed　with　the　heat　and　her　eyes　aglow　with　the　hurry

and　excitement　of　the　occasion。　　He　saw　one　and　another　of　her

young　gentlemen　acquaintances　step　eagerly　forward　to　speak　to　her

and　admiring　eyes　turning　towards　her　on　every　side。　　〃She　won't

lack　for　friends　and　companions　now；　and　I　soon　will　be　little

missed；〃　he　thought　bitterly。　　One　gentleman；　in　his　impatience

for　her　society；　sought　to　obtain　her　small　travelling…bag；　ad　was

assuring　her　that　he　could　obtain　seats　for　herself　and　father　on

the　crowded　boat；　when；　by　her　timid　glance　around；　she　showed　that

she　was　expecting　some　one；　and　Van　Berg　hastened　forward　and　said

quietly；　〃I　have　seats　reserved　in　the　pilot…house。〃



She　gave　him　a　glad　smile　of　welcome；　but　almost　instantly　her　face

became　grave　and　questioning　in　its　expression；　and　she　looked　at

him　keenly　as　he　cordially　shook　hands　with　her　father。　　As　they

went　away　with　him；　as　if　by　a　prearrangement　several　guests　of　the

Lake　House　looked　at　each　other　and　nodded　their　heads　significantly。



While　on　the　way　to　the　pilot…house；　and　during　their　conversation

after　arrivi