vailima letters-第7章
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stuff is better yet: time will show; and time will make
perfect。 Is something of this sort practicable for the
dedication?
TERRA MARIQUE
PER PERICULA PER ARDUA
AMICAE COMITI
D。D。
AMANS VIATOR
'Tis a first shot concocted this morning in my berth: I had
always before been trying it in English; which insisted on
being either insignificant or fulsome: I cannot think of a
better word than COMES; there being not the shadow of a Latin
book on board; yet sure there is some other。 Then VIATOR
(though it SOUNDS all right) is doubtful; it has too much;
perhaps; the sense of wayfarer? Last; will it mark
sufficiently that I mean my wife? And first; how about
blunders? I scarce wish it longer。
Have had a swingeing sharp attack in Sydney; beating the
fields for two nights; Saturday and Sunday。 Wednesday was
brought on board; TEL QUEL; a wonderful wreck; and now;
Wednesday week; am a good deal picked up; but yet not quite a
Samson; being still groggy afoot and vague in the head。 My
chess; for instance; which is usually a pretty strong game;
and defies all rivalry aboard; is vacillating; devoid of
resource and observation; and hitherto not covered with
customary laurels。 As for work; it is impossible。 We shall
be in the saddle before long; no doubt; and the pen once more
couched。 You must not expect a letter under these
circumstances; but be very thankful for a note。 Once at
Samoa; I shall try to resume my late excellent habits; and
delight you with journals; you unaccustomed; I unaccustomed;
but it is never too late to mend。
It is vastly annoying that I cannot go even to Sydney without
an attack; and heaven knows my life was anodyne。 I only once
dined with anybody; at the club with Wise; worked all morning
… a terrible dead pull; a month only produced the imperfect
embryos of two chapters; lunched in the boarding…house;
played on my pipe; went out and did some of my messages;
dined at a French restaurant; and returned to play draughts;
whist; or Van John with my family。 This makes a cheery life
after Samoa; but it isn't what you call burning the candle at
both ends; is it? (It appears to me not one word of this
letter will be legible by the time I am done with it; this
dreadful ink rubs off。) I have a strange kind of novel under
construction; it begins about 1660 and ends 1830; or perhaps
I may continue it to 1875 or so; with another life。 One;
two; three; four; five; six generations; perhaps seven;
figure therein; two of my old stories; 'Delafield' and
'Shovel;' are incorporated; it is to be told in the third
person; with some of the brevity of history; some of the
detail of romance。 THE SHOVELS OF NEWTON FRENCH will be the
name。 The idea is an old one; it was brought to birth by an
accident; a friend in the islands who picked up F。 Jenkin;
read a part; and said: 'Do you know; that's a strange book?
I like it; I don't believe the public will; but I like it。'
He thought it was a novel! 'Very well;' said I; 'we'll see
whether the public will like it or not; they shall have the
chance。'
Yours ever;
R。 L。 S。
CHAPTER VI
FRIDAY; MARCH 19TH。
MY DEAR S。 C。; … You probably expect that now I am back at
Vailima I shall resume the practice of the diary letter。 A
good deal is changed。 We are more; solitude does not attend
me as before; the night is passed playing Van John for
shells; and; what is not less important; I have just
recovered from a severe illness; and am easily tired。
I will give you to…day。 I sleep now in one of the lower
rooms of the new house; where my wife has recently joined me。
We have two beds; an empty case for a table; a chair; a tin
basin; a bucket and a jug; next door in the dining…room; the
carpenters camp on the floor; which is covered with their
mosquito nets。 Before the sun rises; at 5。45 or 5。50; Paul
brings me tea; bread; and a couple of eggs; and by about six
I am at work。 I work in bed … my bed is of mats; no
mattress; sheets; or filth … mats; a pillow; and a blanket …
and put in some three hours。 It was 9。5 this morning when I
set off to the stream…side to my weeding; where I toiled;
manuring the ground with the best enricher; human sweat; till
the conch…shell was blown from our verandah at 10。30。 At
eleven we dine; about half…past twelve I tried (by exception)
to work again; could make nothing on't; and by one was on my
way to the weeding; where I wrought till three。 Half…past
five is our next meal; and I read Flaubert's Letters till the
hour came round; dined; and then; Fanny having a cold; and I
being tired; came over to my den in the unfinished house;
where I now write to you; to the tune of the carpenters'
voices; and by the light … I crave your pardon … by the
twilight of three vile candles filtered through the medium of
my mosquito bar。 Bad ink being of the party; I write quite
blindfold; and can only hope you may be granted to read that
which I am unable to see while writing。
I said I was tired; it is a mild phrase; my back aches like
toothache; when I shut my eyes to sleep; I know I shall see
before them … a phenomenon to which both Fanny and I are
quite accustomed … endless vivid deeps of grass and weed;
each plant particular and distinct; so that I shall lie inert
in body; and transact for hours the mental part of my day
business; choosing the noxious from the useful。 And in my
dreams I shall be hauling on recalcitrants; and suffering
stings from nettles; stabs from citron thorns; fiery bites
from ants; sickening resistances of mud and slime; evasions
of slimy roots; dead weight of heat; sudden puffs of air;
sudden starts from bird…calls in the contiguous forest … some
mimicking my name; some laughter; some the signal of a
whistle; and living over again at large the business of my
day。
Though I write so little; I pass all my hours of field…work
in continual converse and imaginary correspondence。 I scarce
pull up a weed; but I invent a sentence on the matter to
yourself; it does not get written; AUTANT EN EMPORTENT LES
VENTS; but the intent is there; and for me (in some sort) the
companionship。 To…day; for instance; we had a great talk。 I
was toiling; the sweat dripping from my nose; in the hot fit
after a squall of rain: methought you asked me … frankly; was
I happy。 Happy (said I); I was only happy once; that was at
Hyeres; it came to an end from a variety of reasons; decline
of health; change of place; increase of money; age with his
stealing steps; since then; as before then; I know not what
it means。 But I know pleasure still; pleasure with a
thousand faces; and none perfect; a thousand tongues all
broken; a thousand hands; and all of them with scratching
nails。 High among these I place this delight of weeding out
here alone by the garrulous water; under the silence of the
high wood; broken by incongruous sounds of birds。 And take
my life all through; look at it fore and back; and upside
down; … though I would very fain change myself … I would not
change my circumstances; unless it were to bring you here。
And yet God knows perhaps this intercourse of writing serves
as well; and I wonder; were you here indeed; would I commune
so continually with the thought of you。 I say 'I wonder' for
a form; I know; and I know I should not。
So far; and much further; the conversation went; while I
groped in slime after viscous roots; nursing and sparing
little spears of grass; and retreating (even with outcry)
from the prod of the wild lime。 I wonder if any one had ever
the same attitude to Nature as I hold; and have held for so
long? This business fascinates me like a tune or a passion;
yet all the while I thrill with a strong distaste。 The
horror of the thing; objective and subjective; is always
present to my mind; the horror of creeping things; a
superstitious horror of the void and the powers about me; the
horror of my own devastation and continual murders。 The life
of the plants comes through my fingertips; their struggles go
to my heart like supplications。 I feel myself blood…
boltered; then I look back on my cleared grass; and count
myself an ally in a fair quarrel; and make stout my heart。
It is but a little while since I lay sick in Sydney; beating
the fields about the navy and Dean Swift and Dryden's Latin
hymns; judge if I love this reinvigorating climate; where I
can already toil till my head swims and every string in the
poor jumping Jack (as he now lies in bed) aches with a kind
of yearning strain; difficult to suffer in quiescence。
As for my damned literature; God knows what a business it is;
grinding along without a scrap of inspiration or a note of
style。 But it has to be ground; and the mill grinds
exceeding slowly though not particularly small。 The last two
chapters have taken me considerably over a month; and they
are still beneath pity。 This I cannot continue; time not
sufficing; and the next will just have to be worse。 All the
good I can express is just this; some day; when style
revisits me; they will be excellent matter to rewrite。 Of
course; my old cure of a change of work would probably
answer; but I cannot take it now。 The treadmill turns; and;
with a kind of desperate cheerfulness; I mount the idle
stair。 I haven't the least anxiety about the book; unless I
die; I shall find the time to make it good; but the Lord
deliver me from the thought of the Letters! However; the
Lord has other things on hand; and about six to…morrow; I
shall resume the consideration practically; and face (as best
I may) the fact of my incompetence and disaffection to the
task。 Toil I do not spare; but fortune refuses me success。
We can do more; Whatever…his…name…was; we can deserve it。
But my misdesert began long since; by the acceptation of a
bargain quite unsuitable to all my methods。
To…day I have had a queer experience。 My carter has from the
first been using my horses for his own ends; when I left for
Sydney; I put him on his honour to cease; and my back was
scarce turned ere he was forfeit。 I have only been waiting
to discharge him; and to…day an occasion arose。 I am so much
THE OLD MAN VIRULENT; so readily stumble into anger; that I
gave a deal of consideration to my bearing; and decided at
last to imitate that of the late …。 Whatever he might have
to say; this eminently effective controversialist maintained
a frozen demeanour and a jeering smile。 The frozen demeanour
is beyond my reach; but I could try the jeering smile; did
so; perceived its efficacy; kept in consequence my temper;
and got rid of my friend; myself composed and smiling still;
he white and shaking l