bleak house(凄凉的房子)-第113章
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very happy。”
“That is a good fortune；” said I。 “But； why is it to be mine？”
“My dear；” she returned； “there’s suitability in it—you are so
busy； and so neat； and so peculiarly situated altogether； that
there’s suitability in it； and it will come to pass。 And nobody； my
love； will congratulate you more sincerely on such a marriage than
I shall。”
It was curious that this should make me uncomfortable； but I
think it did。 I know it did。 It made me for some part of that night
quite uncomfortable。 I was so ashamed of my folly； that I did not
like to confess it even to Ada； and that made me more
uncomfortable still。 I would have given anything not to have been
so much in the bright old lady’s confidence； if I could have
possibly declined it。 It gave me the most inconsistent opinions of
her。 At one time I thought she was a storyteller； and at another
time that she was the pink of truth。 Now； I suspected that she was
very cunning； next moment； I believed her honest Welsh heart to
be perfectly innocent and simple。 And； after all； what did it matter
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to me； and why did it matter to me？ Why could not I； going up to
bed with my basket of keys； stop to sit down by her fire； and
accommodate myself for a little while to her； at least as well as to
anybody else； and not trouble myself about the harmless things
she said to me？ Impelled towards her； as I certainly was； for I was
very anxious that she should like me； and was very glad indeed
that she did； why should I harp afterwards； with actual distress
and pain； on every word she said； and weigh it over and over again
in twenty scales？ Why was it so worrying to me to have her in our
house； and confidential to me every night； when I yet felt that it
was better and safer； somehow； that she should be there than
anywhere else？ These were perplexities and contradictions that I
could not account for。 At least； if I could—but I shall come to all
that by…and…bye； and it is a mere idleness to go on about it now。
So； when Mrs Woodcourt went away； I was sorry to lose her；
but was relieved too。 And then Caddy Jellyby came down； and
Caddy brought such a packet of domestic news； that it gave us
abundant occupation。
First； Caddy declared （and would at first declare nothing else）
that I was the best adviser that ever was known。 This； my pet said；
was no news at all； and this； I said； of course； was nonsense。 Then
Caddy told us that she was going to be married in a month； and
that if Ada and I would be her bridesmaids； she was the happiest
girl in the world。 To be sure； this was news indeed； and I thought
we never should have done talking about it； we had so much to say
to Caddy； and Caddy had to much to say to us。
It seemed that Caddy’s unfortunate papa had got over his
bankruptcy—“gone through the Gazette；” was the expression
Caddy used； as if it were a tunnel；—with the general clemency and
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commiseration of his creditors； and had got rid of his affairs in
some blessed manner； without succeeding in understanding them；
and had given up everything he possessed （which was not worth
much I should think； to judge from the state of the furniture）； and
had satisfied every one concerned that he could do no more； poor
man。 So； he had been honourably dismissed to “the office；” to
begin the world again。 What he did at the office； I never knew：
Caddy said he was a “Custom…House and General Agent；” and the
only thing I ever understood about that business was； that when
he wanted money more than usual he went to the Docks to look
for it； and hardly ever found it。
As soon as her papa had tranquillised his mind by becoming
this shorn lamb； and they had removed to a furnished lodging in
Hatton Garden （where I found the children； when I afterwards
went there； cutting the horsehair out of the seats of the chairs； and
choking themselves with it）； Caddy had brought about a meeting
between him and old Mr Turveydrop； and poor Mr Jellyby； being
very humble and meek； had deferred to Mr Turveydrop’s
Deportment so submissively； that they had become excellent
friends。 By degrees； old Mr Turveydrop； thus familiarised with the
idea of his son’s marriage； had worked up his parental feelings to
the height of contemplating that event as being near at hand； and
had given his gracious consent to the young couple commencing
housekeeping at the Academy in Newman Street； when they
would。
“And your papa； Caddy。 What did he say？”
“O！ poor Pa；” said Caddy； “only cried； and said he hoped we
might get on better than he and Ma had got on。 He didn’t say so
before Prince； he only said so to me。 And he said； ‘My poor girl；
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you have not been very well taught how to make a home for your
husband； but unless you mean with all your heart to strive to do it；
you had better murder him than marry him—if you really love
him。’”
“And how did you reassure him； Caddy？”
“Why； it was very distressing； you know； to see poor Pa so low；
and hear him say such terrible things； and I couldn’t help crying
myself。 But I told him that I did mean it with all my heart； and that
I hoped our house would be a place for him to come and find some
comfort in； of an evening； and that I hoped and thought I could be
a better daughter to him there； than at home。 Then I mentioned
Peepy’s coming to stay with me； and then Pa began to cry again；
and said the children were Indians。”
“Indians； Caddy？”
“Yes；” said Caddy。 “Wild Indians。 And Pa said；”—（here she
began to sob； poor girl； not at all like the happiest girl in the
world）—“that he was sensible the best thing that could happen to
them was； their being all Tomahawked together。”
Ada suggested that it was comfortable to know that Mr Jellyby
did not mean these destructive sentiments。
“No； of course I know Pa wouldn’t like his family to be
weltering in their blood；” said Caddy； “but he means that they are
very unfortunate in being Ma’s children； and that he is very
unfortunate in being Ma’s husband； I am sure that’s true； though
it seems unnatural to say so。”
I asked Caddy if Mrs Jellyby knew that her wedding…day was
fixed。
“O！ you know what Ma is； Esther；” she returned。 “It’s
impossible to say whether she knows it or not。 She has been told it
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often enough： and when she is told it； she only gives me a placid
look； as if I was I don’t know what—a steeple in the distance；” said
Caddy； with a sudden idea； “and then she shakes her head； and
says ‘O Caddy； Caddy； what a teaze you are！’ and goes on with the
Borrioboola letters。”
“And about your wardrobe； Caddy？” said I。 For she was under
no restraint with us。
“Well； my dear Esther；” she returned； drying her eyes； “I must
do the best I can； and trust to my dear Prince never to have an
unkind remembrance of my coming so shabbily to him。 If the
question concerned an outfit for Borrioboola； Ma would know all
about it； and would be quite excited。 Being what it is； she neither
knows nor cares。”
Caddy was not at all deficient in natural affection for her
mother； but mentioned this with tears； as an undeniable fact：
which I am afraid it was。 We were so sorry for the poor dear girl；
and found so much to admire in the good disposition which had
survived under such discouragement； that we both at once （I mean
Ada and I） proposed a little scheme； that made her perfectly joyful。
This was； her staying with us for three weeks； my staying with her
for one； and our all three contriving and cutting out； and
repairing； and sewing； and saving； and doing the very best we
could think of； to make the most of her stock。 My Guardian being
as pleased with the idea as Caddy was； we took her home next day
to arrange the matter； and brought her out again in triumph； with
her boxes； and all the purchases that could be squeezed out of a
ten…pound note； which Mr Jellyby had found in the Docks I
suppose； but which he at all events gave her。 What my Guardian
would not have given her； if we had encouraged him； it would be
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difficult to say； but we thought it right to compound for no more
than her wedding…dress and bonnet。 He agreed to this
compromise； and if Caddy had ever been happy in her life； she
was happy when we sat down to work。
She was clumsy enough with her needle； poor girl； and pricked
her fingers as much as she had been used to ink them。 She could
not help reddening a little； now and then； partly with the smart；
and partly with vexation at being able to do no better： but she soon
got over that； and began to improve rapidly。 So； day after day； she；
and my darling； and my little maid Charley； and a milliner ou
