bleak house(凄凉的房子)-第184章
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from Caddy Jellyby （as we always continued to call her）；
I
informing me that her health； which had been for some time
very delicate； was worse； and that she would be more glad than
she could tell me if I would go to see her。 It was a note of a few
lines； written from the couch on which she lay； and inclosed to me
in another from her husband； in which he seconded her entreaty
with much solicitude。 Caddy was now the mother； and I the
godmother； of such a poor little baby—such a tiny old…faced mite；
with a countenance that seemed to be scarcely anything but cap…
border； and a little lean； long…fingered hand； always clenched
under its chin。 It would lie in this attitude all day； with its bright
specks of eyes open； wondering （as I used to imagine） how it came
to be so small and weak。 Whenever it was moved it cried； but at all
other times it was so patient； that the sole desire of its life
appeared to be； to lie quiet and think。 It had curious little dark
veins in its face； and curious little dark marks under its eyes； like
faint remembrances of poor Caddy’s inky days； and altogether； to
those who were not used to it； it was quite a piteous little sight。
But it was enough for Caddy that she was used to it。 The
projects with which she beguiled her illness； for little Esther’s
education； and little Esther’s marriage； and even for her own old
age； as the grandmother of little Esther’s little Esthers； were so
prettily expressive of devotion to this pride of her life； that I should
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be tempted to recall some of them； but for the timely
remembrance that I am getting on irregularly as it is。
To return to the letter。 Caddy had a superstition about me；
which had been strengthening in her mind ever since that night
long ago； when she had lain asleep with her head in my lap。 She
almost—I think I must say quite—believed that I did her good
whenever I was near her。 Now； although this was such a fancy of
the affectionate girl’s that I am almost ashamed to mention it； still
it might have all the force of a fact when she was really ill。
Therefore I set off to Caddy； with my Guardian’s consent； post…
haste； and she and Prince made so much of me； that there never
was anything like it。
Next day I went again to sit with her； and next day I went again。
It was a very easy journey； for I had only to rise a little earlier in
the morning； and keep my accounts； and attend to housekeeping
matters before leaving home。 But when I had made these three
visits； my Guardian said to me； on my return at night：
“Now； little woman； little woman； this will never do。 Constant
dropping will wear away a stone； and constant coaching will wear
out a Dame Durden。 We will go to London for a while； and take
possession of our old lodgings。”
“Not for me； dear Guardian；” said I； “for I never feel tired；”
which was strictly true。 I was only too happy to be in such request。
“For me then；” returned my Guardian； “or for Ada； or for both
of us。 It is somebody’s birthday tomorrow； I think。”
“Truly I think it is；” said I； kissing my darling； who would be
twenty…one tomorrow。
“Well；” observed my Guardian； half pleasantly； half seriously；
“that’s a great occasion； and will give my fair cousin some
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necessary business to transact in assertion of her independence；
and will make London a more convenient place for all of us。 So to
London we will go。 That being settled； there is another thing—
how have you left Caddy？”
“Very unwell； Guardian。 I fear it will be some time before she
regains her health and strength。”
“What do you call some time； now？” asked my Guardian；
thoughtfully。
“Some weeks； I am afraid。”
“Ah！” He began to walk about the room with his hands in his
pockets； showing that he had been thinking as much。 “Now what
do you say about her doctor？ Is he a good doctor； my love？”
I felt obliged to confess that I knew nothing to the contrary； but
that Prince and I had agreed only that evening that we would like
his opinion to be confirmed by some one。
“Well； you know；” returned my Guardian quickly； “there’s
Woodcourt。”
I had not meant that； and was rather taken by surprise。 For a
moment； all that I had had in my mind in connection with Mr
Woodcourt seemed to come back and confuse me。
“You don’t object to him； little woman？”
“Object to him； Guardian？ Oh no！”
“And you don’t think the patient would object to him？”
So far from that； I had no doubt of her being prepared to have a
great reliance on him； and to like him very much。 I said that he
was no stranger to her personally； for she had seen him often in
his kind attendance on Miss Flite。
“Very good；” said my Guardian。 “He has been here today； my
dear； and I will see him about it tomorrow。”
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I felt； in this short conversation—though I did not know how；
for she was quiet； and we interchanged no look—that my dear girl
well remembered how merrily she had clasped me round the
waist； when no other hands than Caddy’s had brought me the little
parting token。 This caused me to feel that I ought to tell her； and
Caddy too； that I was going to be the mistress of Bleak House； and
that if I avoided that disclosure any longer； I might become less
worthy in my own eyes of its master’s love。 Therefore； when we
went upstairs and had waited listening until the clock struck
twelve； in order that only I might be the first to wish my darling all
good wishes on her birthday； and to take her to my heart； I set
before her； just as I had set before myself； the goodness and
honour of her cousin John； and the happy life that was in store for
me。 If ever my darling were fonder of me at one time than at
another in all our intercourse； she was surely fondest of me that
night。 And I was so rejoiced to know it； and so comforted by the
sense of having done right； in casting this last idle reservation
away； that I was ten times happier than I had been before。 I had
scarcely thought it a reservation a few hours ago； but now that it
was gone； I felt as if I understood its nature better。
Next day we went to London。 We found our old lodging vacant；
and in half an hour were quietly established there； as if we had
never gone away。 Mr Woodcourt dined with us； to celebrate my
darling’s birthday； and we were as pleasant as we could be with
the great blank among us that Richard’s absence naturally made
on such an occasion。 After that day I was for some weeks—eight or
nine as I remember—very much with Caddy； and thus it fell out
that I saw less of Ada at this time than any other since we had first
come together； except the time of my own illness。 She often came
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to Caddy’s； but our function there was to amuse and cheer her；
and we did not talk in our usual confidential manner。 Whenever I
went home at night； we were together； but Caddy’s rest was
broken by pain； and I often remained to nurse her。
With her husband and her poor little mite of a baby to love； and
her home to strive for； what a good creature Caddy was！ So self…
denying； so uncomplaining； so anxious to get well on their
account； so afraid of giving trouble； and so thoughtful of the
unassisted labours of her husband and the comforts of old Mr
Turveydrop； I had never known the best of her until now。 And it
seemed so curious that her pale face and helpless figure should be
lying there day after day； where dancing was the business of life；
where the kit and the apprentices began early every morning in
the ball…room； and where the untidy little boy waltzed by himself
in the kitchen all the afternoon。
At Caddy’s request； I took the supreme direction of her
apartment； trimmed it up； and pushed her； couch and all； into a
lighter and more airy and more cheerful corner than she had yet
occupied； then； every day； when we were in our neatest array； I
used to lay my small small namesake in her arms； and sit down to
chat or work； or read to her。 It was at one of the first of these quiet
times that I told Caddy about Bleak House。
We had other visitors besides Ada。 First of all； we had Prince；
who in his hurried intervals of teaching used to come softly in and
sit softly down； with a face of loving anxiety for Caddy and the
very little child。 Whatever Caddy’s condition really was； she never
failed to declare to Prince that she was all but well—which I；
Heaven forgive me； never failed to confirm。 This would put Prince
in such good spirits； that he would sometimes take the kit from his
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pocket and play a chord or two to
