bleak house(凄凉的房子)-第186章
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for Woodcourt； a high esteem for him； and I have been sounding
him delicately about his plans。 It is difficult to offer aid to an
independent man； with that just kind of pride which he possesses。
And yet I would be glad to do it if I might； or if I knew how。 He
seems half inclined for another voyage。 But that appears like
casting such a man away。”
“It might open a new world to him；” said I。
“So it might little woman；” my Guardian assented。 “I doubt if
he expects much of the old world。 Do you know I have fancied that
he sometimes feels some particular disappointment； or
misfortune； encountered in it。 You never heard of anything of that
sort？”
I shook my head。
“Humph；” said my Guardian。 “I am mistaken； I dare say。”
As there was a little pause here； which I thought； for my dear
girl’s satisfaction； had better be filled up； I hummed an air as I
worked which was a favourite with my Guardian。
“And do you think Mr Woodcourt will make another voyage？” I
asked him； when I had hummed it quietly all through。
“I don’t quite know what to think； my dear； but I should say it
was likely at present that he will give a long trial to another
country。”
“I am sure he will take the best wishes of all our hearts with
him wherever he goes；” said I； “and though they are not riches； he
will never be the poorer for them； Guardian； at least。”
“Never； little woman；” he replied。
I was sitting in my usual place； which was now beside my
Guardian’s chair。 That had not been my usual place before the
letter； but it was now。 I looked up at Ada； who was sitting opposite；
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and I saw； as she looked at me； that her eyes were filled with tears；
and that tears were falling down her face。 I felt that I had only to
be placid and merry once for all to undeceive my dear； and set her
loving heart at rest。 I really was so； and I had nothing to do but to
be myself。
So I made my sweet girl lean upon my shoulder—how little
thinking what was heavy on her mind！—and I said she was not
quite well； and put my arm about her； and took her upstairs。 When
we were in our own room； and when she might perhaps have told
me what I was so unprepared to hear； I gave her no
encouragement to confide in me； I never thought she stood in
need of it。
“O my dear good Esther；” said Ada； “if I could only make up my
mind to speak to you and my cousin John； when you are
together！”
“Why； my love！” I remonstrated。 “Ada？ why should you not
speak to us！”
Ada only dropped her head and pressed me closer to her heart。
“You surely don’t forget； my beauty；” said I； smiling； “what
quiet old…fashioned people we are； and how I have settled down to
be the discreetest of dames？ You don’t forget how happily and
peacefully my life is all marked out for me； and by whom？ I am
certain that you don’t forget by what a noble character； Ada。 That
can never be。”
“No； never； Esther。”
“Why； then； my dear；” said I； “there can be nothing amiss—and
why should you not speak to us！”
“Nothing amiss； Esther？” returned Ada。 “O when I think of all
these years； and of his fatherly care and kindness； and of the old
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relations among us； and of you； what shall I do； what shall I do！”
I looked at my child in some wonder； but I thought it better not
to answer； otherwise than by cheering her； and so I turned off into
many little recollections of our life together； and prevented her
from saying more。 When she lay down to sleep； and not before； I
returned to my Guardian to say good night； and then I came back
to Ada； and sat near her for a little while。
She was asleep； and I thought as I looked at her that she was a
little changed。 I had thought so； more than once lately。 I could not
decide； even looking at her while she was unconscious； how she
was changed； but something in the familiar beauty of her face
looked different to me。 My Guardian’s old hopes of her and
Richard arose sorrowfully in my mind； and I said to myself； “she
has been anxious about him；” and I wondered how that love would
end。
When I had come home from Caddy’s while she was ill； I had
often found Ada at work； and she had always put her work away；
and I had never known what it was。 Some of it now lay in a drawer
near her； which was not quite closed。 I did not open the drawer；
but I still rather wondered what the work could be； for it was
evidently nothing for herself。
And I noticed as I kissed my dear； that she lay with one hand
under her pillow so that it was hidden。
How much less amiable I must have been than they thought
me。 How much less amiable than I thought myself； to be so
preoccupied with my own cheerfulness and contentment； as to
think that it only rested with me to put my dear girl right； and set
her mind at peace！
But I lay down； self…deceived； in that belief。 And I awoke in it
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next day； to find that there was still the same shade between me
and my darling。
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Chapter 51
Enlightened
hen Mr Woodcourt arrived in London； he went； that
Wvery same day； to Mr Vholes’s in Symond’s Inn。 For he
never once； from the moment when I entreated him to
be a friend to Richard； neglected or forgot his promise。 He had
told me that he accepted the charge as a sacred trust； and he was
ever true to it in that spirit。
He found Mr Vholes in his office； and informed Mr Vholes of his
agreement with Richard； that he should call there to learn his
address。
“Just so； sir；” said Mr Vholes。 “Mr C’s address is not a hundred
miles from here； sir； Mr C’s address is not a hundred miles from
here。 Would you take a seat； sir。”
Mr Woodcourt thanked Mr Vholes； but he had no business with
him beyond what he had mentioned。
“Just so； sir。 I believe； sir；” said Mr Vholes； still quietly insisting
on the seat by not giving the address； “that you have influence
with Mr C。 Indeed I am aware that you have。”
“I was not aware of it myself；” returned Mr Woodcourt； “but I
suppose you know best。”
“Sir；” rejoined Mr Vholes； self…contained； as usual； voice and
all； “it is a part of my professional duty to know best。 It is a part of
my professional duty； to study and to understand a gentleman who
confides his interests to me。 In my professional duty I shall not be
wanting； sir； if I know it。 I may； with the best intentions； be
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wanting in it without knowing it； but not if I know it； sir。”
Mr Woodcourt again mentioned the address。
“Give me leave； sir；” said Mr Vholes。 “Bear with me for a
moment。 Sir； Mr C is playing for a considerable stake； and cannot
play without—need I say what？”
“Money； I presume？”
“Sir；” said Mr Vholes； “to be honest with you （honesty being my
golden rule； whether I gain by it or lose； and I find that I generally
lose）； money is the word。 Now； sir； upon the chances of Mr C’s
game I express to you no opinion； no opinion。 It might be highly
impolitic in Mr C； after playing so long and so high； to leave off； it
might be the reverse。 I say nothing。 No； sir；” said Mr Vholes；
bringing his hand flat down upon his desk； in a positive manner；
“nothing。”
“You seem to forget；” returned Mr Woodcourt； “that I ask you
to say nothing； and have no interest in anything you say。”
“Pardon me； sir？” retorted Mr Vholes； “you do yourself an
injustice。 No； sir！ Pardon me！ You shall not—shall not in my office；
if I know it—do yourself an injustice。 You are interested in
anything； and in everything； that relates to your friend。 I know
human nature much better； sir； than to admit for an instant that a
gentleman of your appearance is not interested in whatever
concerns his friend。”
“Well；” replied Mr Woodcourt； “that may be。 I am particularly
interested in his address。”
（“The number； sir；”） said Mr Vholes； parenthetically； “（I believe
I have already mentioned。） If Mr C is to continue to play for this
considerable stake； sir； he must have funds。 Understand me！
There are funds in hand at present。 I ask for nothing； there are
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funds in hand。 But； for the onward play； more funds must be
provided； unless Mr C is to throw away what he has already
ventured—which is wholly and solely a point for his cons
