the sorrows of young werther-第10章

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wn。　　Albert　seated　himself　beside　her。　　I　did　the　same；　but　my　agitation　did　not　suffer　me　to　remain　long　seated。　　I　got　up；　and　stood　before　her；　then　walked　backward　and　forward；　and　sat　down　again。　　I　was　restless　and　miserable。　　Charlotte　drew　our　attention　to　the　beautiful　effect　of　the　moonlight；　which　threw　a　silver　hue　over　the　terrace　in　front　of　us；　beyond　the　beech　trees。　It　was　a　glorious　sight；　and　was　rendered　more　striking　by　the　darkness　which　surrounded　the　spot　where　we　were。　　We　remained　for　some　time　silent；　when　Charlotte　observed；　〃Whenever　I　walk　by　moonlight；　it　brings　to　my　remembrance　all　my　beloved　and　departed　friends；　and　I　am　filled　with　thoughts　of　death　and　futurity。　　We　shall　live　again；　Werther！〃　she　continued；　with　a　firm　but　feeling　voice；　〃but　shall　we　know　one　another　again　what　do　you　think？　what　do　you　say？〃

〃Charlotte；〃　I　said；　as　I　took　her　hand　in　mine；　and　my　eyes　filled　with　tears；　〃we　shall　see　each　other　again　　here　and　hereafter　we　shall　meet　again。〃　　I　could　say　no　more。　　Why；　Wilhelm；　should　she　put　this　question　to　me；　just　at　the　monent　when　the　fear　of　our　cruel　separation　filled　my　heart？

〃And　oh！　do　those　departed　ones　know　how　we　are　employed　here？　do　they　know　when　we　are　well　and　happy？　do　they　know　when　we　recall　their　memories　with　the　fondest　love？　　In　the　silent　hour　of　evening　the　shade　of　my　mother　hovers　around　me；　when　seated　in　the　midst　of　my　children；　I　see　them　assembled　near　me；　as　they　used　to　assemble　near　her；　and　then　I　raise　my　anxious　eyes　to　heaven；　and　wish　she　could　look　down　upon　us；　and　witness　how　I　fulfil　the　promise　I　made　to　her　in　her　last　moments；　to　be　a　mother　to　her　children。　　With　what　emotion　do　I　then　exclaim；　'Pardon；　dearest　of　mothers；　pardon　me；　if　I　do　not　adequately　supply　your　place！　　Alas！　　I　do　my　utmost。　　They　are　clothed　and　fed；　and；　still　better；　they　are　loved　and　educated。　　Could　you　but　see；　sweet　saint！　the　peace　and　harmony　that　dwells　amongst　us；　you　would　glorify　God　with　the　warmest　feelings　of　gratitude；　to　whom；　in　your　last　hour；　you　addressed　such　fervent　prayers　for　our　happiness。'〃　　Thus　did　she　express　herself；　but　O　Wilhelm！　who　can　do　justice　to　her　language？　how　can　cold　and　passionless　words　convey　the　heavenly　expressions　of　the　spirit？　　Albert　interrupted　her　gently。　　〃This　affects　you　too　deeply；　my　dear　Charlotte。　　I　know　your　soul　dwells　on　such　recollections　wlth　intense　delight；　but　I　implore　　〃　　〃O　Albert！〃　she　continued；　〃I　am　sure　you　do　not　forget　the　evenings　when　we　three　used　to　sit　at　the　little　round　table；　when　papa　was　absent；　and　the　little　ones　had　retired。　You　often　had　a　good　book　with　you；　but　seldom　read　it；　the　conversation　of　that　noble　being　was　preferable　to　everything；　　that　beautiful；　bright；　gentle；　and　yet　ever…toiling　woman。　　God　alone　knows　how　I　have　supplicated　with　tears　on　my　nightly　couch；　that　I　might　be　like　her。〃

I　threw　myself　at　her　feet；　and；　seizing　her　hand；　bedewed　it　with　a　thousand　tears。　　〃Charlotte！〃　I　exclaimed；　〃God's　blessing　and　your　mother's　spirit　are　upon　you。〃　　〃Oh！　that　you　had　known　her；〃　she　said；　with　a　warm　pressure　of　the　hand。　〃She　was　worthy　of　being　known　to　you。〃　　I　thought　I　should　have　fainted：　never　had　I　received　praise　so　flattering。　　She　continued；　〃And　yet　she　was　doomed　to　die　in　the　flower　of　her　youth；　when　her　youngest　child　was　scarcely　six　months　old。　　Her　illness　was　but　short；　but　she　was　calm　and　resigned；　and　it　was　only　for　her　children；　especially　the　youngest；　that　she　felt　unhappy。　　When　her　end　drew　nigh；　she　bade　me　bring　them　to　her。　　I　obeyed。　　The　younger　ones　knew　nothing　of　their　approaching　loss；　while　the　elder　ones　were　quite　overcome　with　grief。　　They　stood　around　the　bed；　and　she　raised　her　feeble　hands　to　heaven；　and　prayed　over　them；　then；　kissing　them　in　turn；　she　dismissed　them；　and　said　to　me；　'Be　you　a　mother　to　them。'　　I　gave　her　my　hand。　　'You　are　promising　much；　my　child；'　she　said：　'a　mother's　fondness　and　a　mother's　care！　　I　have　often　witnessed；　by　your　tears　of　gratitude；　that　you　know　what　is　a　mother's　tenderness：　show　it　to　your　brothers　and　sisters；　and　be　dutiful　and　faithful　to　your　father　as　a　wife；　you　will　be　his　comfort。'　She　inquired　for　him。　　He　had　retired　to　conceal　his　intolerable　anguish；　　he　was　heartbroken；　〃Albert；　you　were　in　the　room。　She　heard　some　one　moving：　she　inquired　who　it　was；　and　desired　you　to　approach。　　She　surveyed　us　both　with　a　look　of　composure　and　satisfaction；　expressive　of　her　conviction　that　we　should　be　happy；　　happy　with　one　another。〃　　Albert　fell　upon　her　neck；　and　kissed　her；　and　exclaimed；　〃We　are　so；　and　we　shall　be　so！〃　Even　Albert；　generally　so　tranquil；　had　quite　lost　his　composure；　and　I　was　excited　beyond　expression。

〃And　such　a　being；〃　She　continued；　〃was　to　leave　us；　Werther！　Great　God；　must　we　thus　part　with　everything　we　hold　dear　in　this　world？　　Nobody　felt　this　more　acutely　than　the　children：　they　cried　and　lamented　for　a　long　time　afterward；　complaining　that　men　had　carried　away　their　dear　mamma。〃

Charlotte　rose。　　It　aroused　me；　but　I　continued　sitting；　and　held　her　hand。　　〃Let　us　go；〃　she　said：　〃it　grows　late。〃　　She　attempted　to　withdraw　her　hand：　I　held　it　still。　　〃We　shall　see　each　other　again；〃　I　exclaimed：　〃we　shall　recognise　each　other　under　every　possible　change！　　I　am　going；〃　I　continued；　〃going　willingly；　but；　should　I　say　for　ever；　perhaps　I　may　not　keep　my　word。　　Adieu；　Charlotte；　adieu；　Albert。　　We　shall　meet　again。〃　　〃Yes：　tomorrow；　I　think；〃　she　answered　with　a　smile。　　Tomorrow！　how　I　felt　the　word！　Ah！　she　little　thought；　when　she　drew　her　hand　away　from　mine。　They　walked　down　the　avenue。　　I　stood　gazing　after　them　in　the　moonlight。　　I　threw　myself　upon　the　ground；　and　wept：　I　then　sprang　up；　and　ran　out　upon　the　terrace；　and　saw；　under　the　shade　of　the　linden…trees；　her　white　dress　disappearing　near　the　garden…gate。　I　stretched　out　my　arms；　and　she　vanished。

BOOK　II。

OCTOBER　2O。

We　arrived　here　yesterday。　　The　ambassador　is　indisposed；　and　will　not　go　out　for　some　days。　　If　he　were　less　peevish　and　morose；　all　would　be　well。　　I　see　but　too　plainly　that　Heaven　has　destined　me　to　severe　trials；　but　courage！　a　light　heart　may　bear　anything。　A　light　heart！　　I　smile　to　find　such　a　word　proceeding　from　my　pen。　A　little　more　lightheartedness　would　render　me　the　happiest　being　under　the　sun。　　But　must　I　despair　of　my　talents　and　faculties；　whilst　others　of　far　inferior　abilities　parade　before　me　with　the　utmost　self…satisfaction？　　Gracious　Providence；　to　whom　I　owe　all　my　powers；　why　didst　thou　not　withhold　some　of　those　blessings　I　possess；　and　substitute　in　their　place　a　feeling　of　self…confidence　and　contentment？

But　patience！　all　will　yet　be　well；　for　I　assure　you；　my　dear　friend；　you　were　right：　since　I　have　been　obliged　to　associate　continually　with　other　people；　and　observe　what　they　do；　and　how　they　employ　themselves；　I　have　become　far　better　satisfied　with　myself。　　For　we　are　so　constituted　by　nature；　that　we　are　ever　prone　to　compare　ourselves　with　others；　and　our　happiness　or　misery　depends　very　much　on　the　objects　and　persons　around　us。　　On　this　account；　nothing　is　more　dangerous　than　solitude：　there　our　imagination；　always　disposed　to　rise；　taking　a　new　flight　on　the　wings　of　fancy；　pictures　to　us　a　chain　of　beings　of　whom　we　seem　the　most　inferior。　　All　things　appear　greater　than　they　really　are；　and　all　seem　superior　to　us。　　This　operation　of　the　mind　is　quite　natural：　we　so　continually　feel　our　own　imperfections；　and　fancy　we　perceive　in　others　the　qualities　we　do　not　possess；　attributing　to　them　also　all　that　we　enjoy　ourselves；　that　by　this　process　we　form　the　idea　of　a　perfect；　happy　man；　　a　man；　however；　who　only　exists　in　our　own　imagination。　　　　But　when；　in　spite　of　weakness　and　disappointments；　we　set　to　work　in　earnest；　and　persevere　steadily；　we　often　find；　that；　though　obliged　continually　to　tack；　we　make　more　way　than　others　who　have　the　assistance　of　wind　and　tide；　and；　in　truth；　there　can　be　no　greater　satisfaction　than　to　keep　pace　with　others　or　outstrip　them　in　the　race。

November　26。

I　begin　to　find　my　situation　here　more　tolerable；　considering　all　circumstances。　　I　find　a　great　advantage　in　being　much　occupied；　and　the　number　of　persons　I　meet；　and　their　different　pursuits；　create　a　varied　entertainment　for　me。　　I　have　formed　the　acquaintance　of　the　Count　C　and　I　esteem　him　more　and　more　every　day。　　He　is　a　man　of　strong　understanding　and　great　discernment；　but；　though　he　sees　farther　than　other　people；　he　is　not　on　that　account　cold　in　his　manner；　but　capable　of　inspiring　and　returning　the　warmest　affection。　　He　appeared　interested　in　me　on　one　occasion；　when　I　had　to　transact　some　business　with　him。　　He　perceived；　at　the　first　word；　that　we　understood　each　other；　and　that　he　could　converse　with　me　in　a　different　tone　from　what　he　used　with　others。　　I　cannot　sufficiently　esteem　his　frank　and　open　kindness　to　me。　　It　is　the　greatest　and　most　genuine　of　pleasures　to　observe　a　great　mind　in　sympathy　with　our　own。

DECEMBER　24。

As　I　anticipated；　the　ambassador　occasions　me　infinite　annoyance。　He　is　the　most　punctilious　blockhead　under　heaven。　　He　does　everything　step　by　step；　with　the　trifling　minuteness　of　an　old　woman；　and　he　is　a　man　whom　it　is　impossible　to　please；　because　he　is　never　pleased　with　himself。　　I　like　to　do　business　regularly　and　cheerfully；　and；　when　it　is　finished；　to　leave　it。　　But　he　constantly　returns　my　papers　to　me；　saying；　〃They　will　do；〃　but　recommending　me　to　look　over　them　again；　as　〃one　may　always　improve　by　using　a　better　word　or　a　more　appropriate　particle。〃　　I　then　lose　all　patience；　and　wish　myself　at　the　devil's。　　Not　a　conjunction；　not　an　adverb；　must　be　omitted：　he　has　a　deadly　antipathy　to　all　those　transpositions　of　which　I　am　so　fond；　and；　if　the　music　of　our　periods　is　not　tuned　to　the　established；　official　key；　he　cannot　comprehend　our　meaning。　　It　is　deplorable　to　be　connected　with　such　a　fellow。

My　acquaintance　with　the　Count　C　is　the　only　compensation　for　such　an　evil。　　He　told　me　frankly；　the　other　day；　that　he　was　much　displeased　with　the　difficulties　and　delays　of　the　ambassador；　that　people　like　him　are　obstacles；　both　to　themselves　and　to　others。　　〃But；〃　added　he；　〃one　must　submit；　like　a　traveller　who　has　to　ascend　a　mountain：　if　the　mountain　was　not　there；　the　road　would　be　both　shorter　and　pleasanter；　but　there　it　is；　and　he　must　get　over　it。〃　　　The　old　man　perceives　the　count's　partiality　for　me：　this　annoys　him；　and；　he　seizes　every　opportunity　to　depreciate　the　count　in　my　hearing。　　I　naturally　defend　him；　and　that　only　makes　matters　worse。　　Yesterday　he　made　me　indignant；　for　he　also　alluded　to　me。　〃The　count；〃　he　said；　〃is　a　man　of　the　world；　and　a　good　man　of　business：　his　style　is　good；　and　he　writes　with　facility；　but；　like　other　geniuses；　he　has　no　solid　learning。〃　　He　looked　at　me　with　an　expression　that　seemed　to　ask　if　I　felt　the　blow。　　But　it　did　not　produce　the　desired　effect：　I　despise　a　man　who　can　think　and　act　in　such　a　manner。　　However；　I　made　a　stand；　and　answered　with　not　a　little　warmth。　　The　count；　I　said；　was　a　man　entitled　to　respect；　alike　for　his　character　and　his　acquirements。　　I　had　never　met　a