the sorrows of young werther-第17章

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ch　warmth　to　the　judge。　　The　latter　shook；　his　head　doubtingly；　and　although　Werther　urged　his　case　with　the　utmost　zeal；　feeling；　and　determination　in　defence　of　his　client；　yet；　as　we　may　easily　suppose；　the　judge　was　not　much　influenced　by　his　appeal。　　On　the　contrary；　he　interrupted　him　in　his　address；　reasoned　with　him　seriously；　and　even　administered　a　rebuke　to　him　for　becoming　the　advocate　of　a　murderer。　　He　demonstrated；　that；　according　to　this　precedent；　every　law　might　be　violated；　and　the　public　security　utterly　destroyed。　　He　added；　moreover；　that　in　such　a　case　he　could　himself　do　nothing；　without　incurring　the　greatest　responsibility；　that　everything　must　follow　in　the　usual　course；　and　pursue　the　ordinary　channel。

Werther；　however；　did　not　abandon　his　enterprise；　and　even　besought　the　judge　to　connive　at　the　flight　of　the　prisoner。　　But　this　proposal　was　peremptorily　rejected。　　Albert；　who　had　taken　some　part　in　the　discussion；　coincided　in　opinion　with　the　judge。　　At　this　Werther　became　enraged；　and　took　his　leave　in　great　anger；　after　the　judge　had　more　than　once　assured　him　that　the　prisoner　could　not　be　saved。

The　excess　of　his　grief　at　this　assurance　may　be　inferred　from　a　note　we　have　found　amongst　his　papers；　and　which　was　doubtless　written　upon　this　very　occasion。

〃You　cannot　be　saved；　unfortunate　man！　　I　see　clearly　that　we　cannot　be　saved！〃

Werther　was　highly　incensed　at　the　observations　which　Albert　had　made　to　the　judge　in　this　matter　of　the　prisoner。　　He　thought　he　could　detect　therein　a　little　bitterness　toward　himself　personally；　and　although；　upon　reflection；　it　could　not　escape　his　sound　judgment　that　their　view　of　the　matter　was　correct；　he　felt　the　greatest　possible　reluctance　to　make　such　an　admission。

A　memorandum　of　Werther's　upon　this　point；　expressive　of　his　general　feelings　toward　Albert；　has　been　found　amongst　his　papers。

〃What　is　the　use　of　my　continually　repeating　that　he　is　a　good　and　estimable　man？　　He　is　an　inward　torment　to　me；　and　I　am　incapable　of　being　just　toward　him。〃

One　fine　evening　in　winter；　when　the　weather　seemed　inclined　to　thaw；　Charlotte　and　Albert　were　returning　home　together。　　The　former　looked　from　time　to　time　about　her；　as　if　she　missed　Werther's　company。　　Albert　began　to　speak　of　him；　and　censured　him　for　his　prejudices。　　He　alluded　to　his　unfortunate　attachment；　and　wished　it　were　possible　to　discontinue　his　acquaintance。　〃I　desire　it　on　our　own　account；〃　he　added；　〃and　I　request　you　will　compel　him　to　alter　his　deportment　toward　you；　and　to　visit　you　less　frequently。　The　world　is　censorious；　and　I　know　that　here　and　there　we　are　spoken　of。〃　　Charlotte　made　no　reply；　and　Albert　seemed　to　feel　her　silence。　　At　least；　from　that　time　he　never　again　spoke　of　Werther；　and；　when　she　introduced　the　subject；　he　allowed　the　conversation　to　die　away；　or　else　he　directed　the　discourse　into　another　channel。

The　vain　attempt　Werther　had　made　to　save　the　unhappy　murderer　was　the　last　feeble　glimmering　of　a　flame　about　to　be　extinguished。　He　sank　almost　immediately　afterward　into　a　state　of　gloom　and　inactivity；　until　he　was　at　length　brought　to　perfect　distraction　by　learning　that　he　was　to　be　summoned　as　a　witness　against　the　prisoner；　who　asserted　his　complete　innocence。

His　mind　now　became　oppressed　by　the　recollection　of　every　misfortune　of　his　past　life。　　The　mortification　he　had　suffered　at　the　ambassador's；　and　his　subsequent　troubles；　were　revived　in　his　memory。　　He　became　utterly　inactive。　　Destitute　of　energy；　he　was　cut　off　from　every　pursuit　and　occupation　which　compose　the　business　of　common　life；　and　he　became　a　victim　to　his　own　susceptibility；　and　to　his　restless　passion　for　the　most　amiable　and　beloved　of　women；　whose　peace　he　destroyed。　　In　this　unvarying　monotony　of　existence　his　days　were　consumed；　and　his　powers　became　exhausted　without　aim　or　design；　until　they　brought　him　to　a　sorrowful　end。

A　few　letters　which　he　left　behind；　and　which　we　here　subjoin；　afford　the　best　proofs　of　his　anxiety　of　mind　and　of　the　depth　of　his　passion；　as　well　as　of　his　doubts　and　struggles；　and　of　his　weariness　of　life。

DECEMBER　12。

Dear　Wilhelm；　I　am　reduced　to　the　condition　of　those　unfortunate　wretches　who　believe　they　are　pursued　by　an　evil　spirit。　　Sometimes　I　am　oppressed；　not　by　apprehension　or　fear；　but　by　an　inexpressible　internal　sensation；　which　weighs　upon　my　heart；　and　impedes　my　breath！　　Then　I　wander　forth　at　night；　even　in　this　tempestuous　season；　and　feel　pleasure　in　surveying　the　dreadful　scenes　around　me。

Yesterday　evening　I　went　forth。　　A　rapid　thaw　had　suddenly　set　in：　I　had　been　informed　that　the　river　had　risen；　that　the　brooks　had　all　overflowed　their　banks；　and　that　the　whole　vale　of　Walheim　was　under　water！　　Upon　the　stroke　of　twelve　I　hastened　forth。　　I　beheld　a　fearful　sight。　　The　foaming　torrents　rolled　from　the　mountains　in　the　moonlight；　　fields　and　meadows；　trees　and　hedges；　were　confounded　together；　and　the　entire　valley　was　converted　into　a　deep　lake；　which　was　agitated　by　the　roaring　wind！　　And　when　the　moon　shone　forth；　and　tinged　the　black　clouds　with　silver；　and　the　impetuous　torrent　at　my　feet　foamed　and　resounded　with　awful　and　grand　impetuosity；　I　was　overcome　by　a　mingled　sensation　of　apprehension　and　delight。　　With　extended　arms　I　looked　down　into　the　yawning　abyss；　and　cried；　〃Plunge！'〃　For　a　moment　my　senses　forsook　me；　in　the　intense　delight　of　ending　my　sorrows　and　my　sufferings　by　a　plunge　into　that　gulf！　　And　then　I　felt　as　if　I　were　rooted　to　the　earth；　and　incapable　of　seeking　an　end　to　my　woes！　　But　my　hour　is　not　yet　come：　I　feel　it　is　not。　　O　Wilhelm；　how　willingly　could　I　abandon　my　existence　to　ride　the　whirlwind；　or　to　embrace　the　torrent！　and　then　might　not　rapture　perchance　be　the　portion　of　this　liberated　soul？

I　turned　my　sorrowful　eyes　toward　a　favourite　spot；　where　I　was　accustomed　to　sit　with　Charlotte　beneath　a　willow　after　a　fatiguing　walk。　　Alas！　it　was　covered　with　water；　and　with　difficulty　I　found　even　the　meadow。　　And　the　fields　around　the　hunting…lodge；　thought　I。　　Has　our　dear　bower　been　destroyed　by　this　unpitying　storm？　And　a　beam　of　past　happiness　streamed　upon　me；　as　the　mind　of　a　captive　is　illumined　by　dreams　of　flocks　and　herds　and　bygone　joys　of　home！　　But　I　am　free　from　blame。　　I　have　courage　to　die！　　Perhaps　I　have；　　but　I　still　sit　here；　like　a　wretched　pauper；　who　collects　fagots；　and　begs　her　bread　from　door　to　door；　that　she　may　prolong　for　a　few　days　a　miserable　existence　which　she　is　unwilling　to　resign。

DECEMBER　15。

What　is　the　matter　with　me；　dear　Wilhelm？　　I　am　afraid　of　myself！　Is　not　my　love　for　her　of　the　purest；　most　holy；　and　most　brotherly　nature？　　Has　my　soul　ever　been　sullied　by　a　single　sensual　desire？　but　I　will　make　no　protestations。　　And　now；　ye　nightly　visions；　how　truly　have　those　mortals　understood　you；　who　ascribe　your　various　contradictory　effects　to　some　invincible　power！　　This　night　I　tremble　at　the　avowal　　I　held　her　in　my　arms；　locked　in　a　close　embrace：　I　pressed　her　to　my　bosom；　and　covered　with　countless　kisses　those　dear　lips　which　murmured　in　reply　soft　protestations　of　love。　　My　sight　became　confused　by　the　delicious　intoxication　of　her　eyes。　　Heavens！　is　it　sinful　to　revel　again　in　such　happiness；　to　recall　once　more　those　rapturous　moments　with　intense　delight？　Charlotte！　　Charlotte！　　I　am　lost！　　My　senses　are　bewildered；　my　recollection　is　confused；　mine　eyes　are　bathed　in　tears　　I　am　ill；　and　yet　I　am　well　　I　wish　for　nothing　　I　have　no　desires　　it　were　better　I　were　gone。

Under　the　circumstances　narrated　above；　a　determination　to　quit　this　world　had　now　taken　fixed　possession　of　Werther's　soul。　　Since　Charlotte's　return；　this　thought　had　been　the　final　object　of　all　his　hopes　and　wishes；　but　he　had　resolved　that　such　a　step　should　not　be　taken　with　precipitation；　but　with　calmness　and　tranquillity；　and　with　the　most　perfect　deliberation。

His　troubles　and　internal　struggles　may　be　understood　from　the　following　fragment；　which　was　found；　without　any　date；　amongst　his　papers；　and　appears　to　have　formed　the　beginning　of　a　letter　to　Wilhelm。

〃Her　presence；　her　fate；　her　sympathy　for　me；　have　power　still　to　extract　tears　from　my　withered　brain。

〃One　lifts　up　the　curtain；　and　passes　to　the　other　side；　　that　is　all！　　And　why　all　these　doubts　and　delays？　　Because　we　know　not　what　is　behind　　because　there　is　no　returning　　and　because　our　mind　infers　that　all　is　darkness　and　confusion；　where　we　have　nothing　but　uncertainty。〃

His　appearance　at　length　became　quite　altered　by　the　effect　of　his　melancholy　thoughts；　and　his　resolution　was　now　finally　and　irrevocably　taken；　of　which　the　following　ambiguous　letter；　which　he　addressed　to　his　friend；　may　appear　to　afford　some　proof。

DECEMBER　2O。

I　am　grateful　to　your　love；　Wilhelm；　for　having　repeated　your　advice　so　seasonably。　　Yes；　you　are　right：　it　is　undoubtedly　better　that　I　should　depart。　　But　I　do　not　entirely　approve　your　scheme　of　returning　at　once　to　your　neighbourhood；　at　least；　I　should　Iike　to　make　a　little　excursion　on　the　way；　particularly　as　we　may　now　expect　a　continued　frost；　and　consequently　good　roads。　　I　am　much　pleased　with　your　intention　of　coming　to　fetch　me；　only　delay　your　journey　for　a　fortnight；　and　wait　for　another　letter　from　me。　　One　should　gather　nothing　before　it　is　ripe；　and　a　fortnight　sooner　or　later　makes　a　great　difference。　　Entreat　my　mother　to　pray　for　her　son；　and　tell　her　I　beg　her　pardon　for　all　the　unhappiness　I　have　occasioned　her。　　It　has　ever　been　my　fate　to　give　pain　to　those　whose　happiness　I　should　have　promoted。　Adieu；　my　dearest　friend。　　May　every　blessing　of　Heaven　attend　you！　　Farewell。

We　find　it　difficult　to　express　the　emotions　with　which　Charlotte's　soul　was　agitated　during　the　whole　of　this　time；　whether　in　relation　to　her　husband　or　to　her　unfortunate　friend；　although　we　are　enabled；　by　our　knowledge　of　her　character；　to　understand　their　nature。

It　is　certain　that　she　had　formed　a　determination；　by　every　means　in　her　power　to　keep　Werther　at　a　distance；　and；　if　she　hesitated　in　her　decision；　it　was　from　a　sincere　feeling　of　friendly　pity；　knowing　how　much　it　would　cost　him；　indeed；　that　he　would　find　it　almost　impossible　to　comply　with　her　wishes。　　But　various　causes　now　urged　her　to　be　firm。　　Her　hushand　preserved　a　strict　silence　about　the　whole　matter；　and　she　never　made　it　a　subject　of　conversation；　feeling　bound　to　prove　to　him　by　her　conduct　that　her　sentiments　agreed　with　his。

The　same　day；　which　was　the　Sunday　before　Christmas；　after　Werther　had　written　the　last…mentioned　letter　to　his　friend；　he　came　in　the　evening　to　Charlotte's　house；　and　found　her　alone。　　She　was　busy　preparing　some　little　gifts　for　her　brothers　and　sisters；　which　were　to　be　distributed　to　them　on　Christmas　Day。　　He　began　talking　of　the　delight　of　the　children；　and　of　that　age　when　the　sudden　appearance　of　the　Christmas…tree；　decorated　with　fruit　and　sweetmeats；　and　lighted　up　with　wax　candles；　causes　such　transports　of　joy。　　〃You　shall　have　a　gift　too；　if　you　behave　well；〃　said　Charlotte；　hiding　her　embarrassment　under　sweet　smile。　　〃And　what　do　you　call　behaving　well？　　What　should　I　do；　what　can　I　do；　my　dear　Charlotte？〃　s