the sorrows of young werther-第5章

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I　but　wander　and　lose　myself　amongst　them！　　I　went；　and　returned　without　finding　what　I　wished。　　Distance；　my　friend；　is　like　futurity。　　A　dim　vastness　is　spread　before　our　souls：　the　perceptions　of　our　mind　are　as　obscure　as　those　of　our　vision；　and　we　desire　earnestly　to　surrender　up　our　whole　being；　that　it　may　be　filled　with　the　complete　and　perfect　bliss　of　one　glorious　emotion。　　But　alas！　when　we　have　attained　our　object；　when　the　distant　there　becomes　the　present　here；　all　is　changed：　we　are　as　poor　and　circumscribed　as　ever；　and　our　souls　still　languish　for　unattainable　happiness。

So　does　the　restless　traveller　pant　for　his　native　soil；　and　find　in　his　own　cottage；　in　the　arms　of　his　wife；　in　the　affections　of　his　children；　and　in　the　labour　necessary　for　their　support；　that　happiness　which　he　had　sought　in　vain　through　the　wide　world。

When；　in　the　morning　at　sunrise；　I　go　out　to　Walheim；　and　with　my　own　hands　gather　in　the　garden　the　pease　which　are　to　serve　for　my　dinner；　when　I　sit　down　to　shell　them；　and　read　my　Homer　during　the　intervals；　and　then；　selecting　a　saucepan　from　the　kitchen；　fetch　my　own　butter；　put　my　mess　on　the　fire；　cover　it　up；　and　sit　down　to　stir　it　as　occasion　requires；　I　figure　to　myself　the　illustrious　suitors　of　Penelope；　killing；　dressing；　and　preparing　their　own　oxen　and　swine。　　Nothing　fills　me　with　a　more　pure　and　genuine　sense　of　happiness　than　those　traits　of　patriarchal　life　which；　thank　Heaven！　I　can　imitate　without　affectation。　　Happy　is　it；　indeed；　for　me　that　my　heart　is　capable　of　feeling　the　same　simple　and　innocent　pleasure　as　the　peasant　whose　table　is　covered　with　food　of　his　own　rearing；　and　who　not　only　enjoys　his　meal；　but　remembers　with　delight　the　happy　days　and　sunny　mornings　when　he　planted　it；　the　soft　evenings　when　he　watered　it；　and　the　pleasure　he　experienced　in　watching　its　daily　growth。

JUNE　29。

The　day　before　yesterday；　the　physician　came　from　the　town　to　pay　a　visit　to　the　judge。　　He　found　me　on　the　floor　playing　with　Charlotte's　children。　　Some　of　them　were　scrambling　over　me；　and　others　romped　with　me；　and；　as　I　caught　and　tickled　them；　they　made　a　great　noise。　　The　doctor　is　a　formal　sort　of　personage：　he　adjusts　the　plaits　of　his　ruffles；　and　continually　settles　his　frill　whilst　he　is　talking　to　you；　and　he　thought　my　conduct　beneath　the　dignity　of　a　sensible　man。　　I　could　perceive　this　by　his　countenance。　　But　I　did　not　suffer　myself　to　be　disturbed。　　I　allowed　him　to　continue　his　wise　conversation；　whilst　I　rebuilt　the　children's　card　houses　for　them　as　fast　as　they　threw　them　down。　　He　went　about　the　town　afterward；　complaining　that　the　judge's　children　were　spoiled　enough　before；　but　that　now　Werther　was　completely　ruining　them。　　　　Yes；　my　dear　Wilhelm；　nothing　on　this　earth　affects　my　heart　so　much　as　children。　　When　I　look　on　at　their　doings；　when　I　mark　in　the　little　creatures　the　seeds　of　all　those　virtues　and　qualities　which　they　will　one　day　find　so　indispensable；　when　I　behold　in　the　obstinate　all　the　future　firmness　and　constancy　of　a　noble　character；　in　the　capricious；　that　levity　and　gaiety　of　temper　which　will　carry　them　lightly　over　the　dangers　and　troubles　of　life；　their　whole　nature　simple　and　unpolluted；　　then　I　call　to　mind　the　golden　words　of　the　Great　Teacher　of　mankind；　〃Unless　ye　become　like　one　of　these！〃　　And　now；　my　friend；　these　children；　who　are　our　equals；　whom　we　ought　to　consider　as　our　models；　we　treat　them　as　though　they　were　our　subjects。　　They　are　allowed　no　will　of　their　own。　　And　have　we；　then；　none　ourselves？　Whence　comes　our　exclusive　right？　　Is　it　because　we　are　older　and　more　experienced？　Great　God！　from　the　height　of　thy　heaven　thou　beholdest　great　children　and　little　children；　and　no　others；　and　thy　Son　has　long　since　declared　which　afford　thee　greatest　pleasure。　　But　they　believe　in　him；　and　hear　him　not；　that；　too；　is　an　old　story；　and　they　train　their　children　after　their　own　image；　etc。　　　　Adieu；　Wilhelm：　I　will　not　further　bewilder　myself　with　this　subject。

JULY　1。

The　consolation　Charlotte　can　bring　to　an　invalid　I　experience　from　my　own　heart；　which　suffers　more　from　her　absence　than　many　a　poor　creature　lingering　on　a　bed　of　sickness。　　She　is　gone　to　spend　a　few　days　in　the　town　with　a　very　worthy　woman；　who　is　given　over　by　the　physicians；　and　wishes　to　have　Charlotte　near　her　in　her　last　moments。　　I　accompanied　her　last　week　on　a　visit　to　the　Vicar　of　S；　a　small　village　in　the　mountains；　about　a　league　hence。　　We　arrived　about　four　o'clock：　Charlotte　had　taken　her　little　sister　with　her。　　When　we　entered　the　vicarage　court；　we　found　the　good　old　man　sitting　on　a　bench　before　the　door；　under　the　shade　of　two　large　walnut…trees。　　At　the　　sight　of　Charlotte　he　seemed　to　gain　new　life；　rose；　forgot　his　stick；　and　ventured　to　walk　toward　her。　　She　ran　to　him；　and　made　him　sit　down　again；　then；　placing　herself　by　his　side；　she　gave　him　a　number　of　messages　from　her　father；　and　then　caught　up　his　youngest　child；　a　dirty；　ugly　little　thing；　the　joy　of　his　old　age；　and　kissed　it。　　I　wish　you　could　have　witnessed　her　attention　to　this　old　man；　how　she　raised　her　voice　on　account　of　his　deafness；　how　she　told　him　of　healthy　young　people；　who　had　been　carried　off　when　it　was　least　expected；　praised　the　virtues　of　Carlsbad；　and　commended　his　determination　to　spend　the　ensuing　summer　there；　and　assured　him　that　he　looked　better　and　stronger　than　he　did　when　she　saw　him　last。　　I；　in　the　meantime；　paid　attention　to　his　good　lady。　　The　old　man　seemed　quite　in　spirits；　and　as　I　could　not　help　admiring　the　beauty　of　the　walnut…trees；　which　formed　such　an　agreeable　shade　over　our　heads；　he　began；　though　with　some　little　difficulty；　to　tell　us　their　history。　　〃As　to　the　oldest；〃　said　he；　〃we　do　not　know　who　planted　it；　　some　say　one　clergyman；　and　some　another：　but　the　younger　one；　there　behind　us；　is　exactly　the　age　of　my　wife；　fifty　years　old　next　October；　her　father　planted　it　in　the　morning；　and　in　the　evening　she　came　into　the　world。　　My　wife's　father　was　my　predecessor　here；　and　I　cannot　tell　you　how　fond　he　was　of　that　tree；　and　it　is　fully　as　dear　to　me。　　Under　the　shade　of　that　very　tree；　upon　a　log　of　wood；　my　wife　was　seated　knitting；　when　I；　a　poor　student；　came　into　this　court　for　the　first　time；　just　seven　and　twenty　years　ago。〃　Charlotte　inquired　for　his　daughter。　　He　said　she　was　gone　with　Herr　Schmidt　to　the　meadows；　and　was　with　the　haymakers。　　The　old　man　then　resumed　his　story；　and　told　us　how　his　predecessor　had　taken　a　fancy　to　him；　as　had　his　daughter　likewise；　and　how　he　had　become　first　his　curate；　and　subsequently　his　successor。　　He　had　scarcely　finished　his　story　when　his　daughter　returned　through　the　garden；　accompanied　by　the　above…mentioned　Herr　Schmidt。　　She　welcomed　Charlotte　affectionately；　and　I　confess　I　was　much　taken　with　her　appearance。　　She　was　a　lively…looking；　good…humoured　brunette；　quite　competent　to　amuse　one　for　a　short　time　in　the　country。　　Her　lover　（for　such　Herr　Schmidt　evidently　appeared　to　be）　was　a　polite；　reserved　personage；　and　would　not　join　our　conversation；　notwithstanding　all　Charlotte's　endeavours　to　draw　him　out。　　I　was　much　annoyed　at　observing；　by　his　countenance；　that　his　silence　did　not　arise　from　want　of　talent；　but　from　caprice　and　ill…humour。　　This　subsequently　became　very　evident；　when　we　set　out　to　take　a　walk；　and　Frederica　joining　Charlotte；　with　whom　I　was　talking；　the　worthy　gentleman's　face；　which　was　naturally　rather　sombre；　became　so　dark　and　angry　that　Charlotte　was　obliged　to　touch　my　arm；　and　remind　me　that　I　was　talking　too　much　to　Frederica。　　Nothing　distresses　me　more　than　to　see　men　torment　each　other；　particularly　when　in　the　flower　of　their　age；　in　the　very　season　of　pleasure；　they　waste　their　few　short　days　of　sunshine　in　quarrels　and　disputes；　and　only　perceive　their　error　when　it　is　too　late　to　repair　it。　　This　thought　dwelt　upon　my　mind；　and　in　the　evening；　when　we　returned　to　the　vicar's；　and　were　sitting　round　the　table　with　our　bread　end　milk；　the　conversation　turned　on　the　joys　and　sorrows　of　the　world；　I　could　not　resist　the　temptation　to　inveigh　bitterly　against　ill…humour。　　〃We　are　apt；〃　said　I；　〃to　complain；　but　…　with　very　little　cause；　that　our　happy　days　are　few；　and　our　evil　days　many。　　If　our　hearts　were　always　disposed　to　receive　the　benefits　Heaven　sends　us；　we　should　acquire　strength　to　support　evil　when　it　comes。〃　〃But；〃　observed　the　vicar's　wife；　〃we　cannot　always　command　our　tempers；　so　much　depends　upon　the　constitution：　when　the　body　suffers；　the　mind　is　ill　at　ease。〃　〃I　acknowledge　that；〃　I　continued；　〃but　we　must　consider　such　a　disposition　in　the　light　of　a　disease；　and　inquire　whether　there　is　no　remedy　for　it。〃　　　〃I　should　be　glad　to　hear　one；〃　said　Charlotte：　〃at　least；　I　think　very　much　depends　upon　ourselves；　I　know　it　is　so　with　me。　When　anything　annoys　me；　and　disturbs　my　temper；　I　hasten　into　the　garden；　hum　a　couple　of　country　dances；　and　it　is　all　right　with　me　directly。〃　　〃That　is　what　I　meant；〃　I　replied；　〃ill…humour　resembles　indolence：　it　is　natural　to　us；　but　if　once　we　have　courage　to　exert　ourselves；　we　find　our　work　run　fresh　from　our　hands；　and　we　experience　in　the　activity　from　which　we　shrank　a　real　enjoyment。〃　　Frederica　listened　very　attentively：　and　the　young　man　objected；　that　we　were　not　masters　of　ourselves；　and　still　less　so　of　our　feelings。　　〃The　question　is　about　a　disagreeable　feeling；〃　I　added；　〃from　which　every　one　would　willingly　escape；　but　none　know　their　own　power　without　trial。　　Invalids　are　glad　to　consult　physicians；　and　submit　to　the　most　scrupulous　regimen；　the　most　nauseous　medicines；　in　order　to　recover　their　health。〃　I　observed　that　the　good　old　man　inclined　his　head；　and　exerted　himself　to　hear　our　discourse；　so　I　raised　my　voice；　and　addressed　myself　directly　to　him。　　We　preach　against　a　great　many　crimes；〃　I　observed；　〃but　I　never　remember　a　sermon　delivered　against　ill…humour。〃　　〃That　may　do　very　well　for　your　town　clergymen；〃　said　he：　〃country　people　are　never　ill…humoured；　though；　indeed；　it　might　be　useful；　occasionally；　to　my　wife　for　instance；　and　the　judge。〃　　We　all　laughed；　as　did　he　likewise　very　cordially；　till　he　fell　into　a　fit　of　coughing；　which　interrupted　our　conversation　for　a　time。　　Herr　Schmidt　resumed　the　subject。　　〃You　call　ill　humour　a　crime；〃　he　remarked；　〃but　I　think　you　use　too　strong　a　term。〃　　〃Not　at　all；〃　I　replied；　〃if　that　deserves　the　name　which　is　so　pernicious　to　ourselves　and　our　neighbours。　　Is　it　not　enough　that　we　want　the　power　to　make　one　another　happy；　must　we　deprive　each　other　of　the　pleasure　which　we　can　all　make　for　ourselves？　Show　me　the　man　who　has　the　courage　to　hide　his　ill…humour；　who　bears　the　whole　burden　himself；　without　disturbing　the　peace　of　those　around　him。　　No：　ill…humour　arises　from　an　inward　consciousness　of　our　own　want　of　merit；　from　a　discontent　which　ever　accompanies　that　envy　which　foolish　vanity　engenders。　　We　see　people　happy；　whom　we　have　not　made　so；　and　cannot　endure　the　sight。〃　　Charlotte　looked　at　me　with　a　smile；　she　observed　the　emotion　with　which　I　spoke：　and　a　tear　in　the　eyes　of　Frederica　stimulated　me　to　proceed。　〃Woe　unto　those；〃　I　said；　〃who　use　their　power　over　a　human　heart　to　destroy　the