the jacket (the star-rover)-第25章

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ammunition　is　gone。〃



Some　of　our　men　were　unchaining　one　of　our　wagons　and　rolling　it　out

of　the　way。　　I　ran　across　to　see　what　was　happening。　　In　came　Lee

himself；　followed　by　two　empty　wagons；　each　driven　by　one　man。

Everybody　crowded　around　Lee。　　He　said　that　they　had　had　a　hard　time

with　the　Indians　keeping　them　off　of　us；　and　that　Major　Higbee；　with

fifty　of　the　Mormon　militia；　were　ready　to　take　us　under　their

charge。



But　what　made　father　and　Laban　and　some　of　the　men　suspicious　was

when　Lee　said　that　we　must　put　all　our　rifles　into　one　of　the　wagons

so　as　not　to　arouse　the　animosity　of　the　Indians。　　By　so　doing　we

would　appear　to　be　the　prisoners　of　the　Mormon　militia。



Father　straightened　up　and　was　about　to　refuse　when　he　glanced　to

Laban；　who　replied　in　an　undertone。　　〃They　ain't　no　more　use　in　our

hands　than　in　the　wagon；　seein'　as　the　powder's　gone。〃



Two　of　our　wounded　men　who　could　not　walk　were　put　into　the　wagons；

and　along　with　them　were　put　all　the　little　children。　　Lee　seemed　to

be　picking　them　out　over　eight　and　under　eight。　　Jed　and　I　were

large　for　our　age；　and　we　were　nine　besides；　so　Lee　put　us　with　the

older　bunch　and　told　us　we　were　to　march　with　the　women　on　foot。



When　he　took　our　baby　from　mother　and　put　it　in　a　wagon　she　started

to　object。　　Then　I　saw　her　lips　draw　tightly　together；　and　she　gave

in。　　She　was　a　gray…eyed；　strong…featured；　middle…aged　woman；　large…

boned　and　fairly　stout。　　But　the　long　journey　and　hardship　had　told

on　her；　so　that　she　was　hollow…cheeked　and　gaunt；　and　like　all　the

women　in　the　company　she　wore　an　expression　of　brooding；　never…

ceasing　anxiety。



It　was　when　Lee　described　the　order　of　march　that　Laban　came　to　me。

Lee　said　that　the　women　and　the　children　that　walked　should　go　first

in　the　line；　following　behind　the　two　wagons。　　Then　the　men；　in

single　file；　should　follow　the　women。　　When　Laban　heard　this　he　came

to　me；　untied　the　scalps　from　his　belt；　and　fastened　them　to　my

waist。



〃But　you　ain't　killed　yet；〃　I　protested。



〃You　bet　your　life　I　ain't；〃　he　answered　lightly。



〃I've　just　reformed；　that's　all。　　This　scalp…wearin'　is　a　vain　thing

and　heathen。〃　　He　stopped　a　moment　as　if　he　had　forgotten　something；

then；　as　he　turned　abruptly　on　his　heel　to　regain　the　men　of　our

company；　he　called　over　his　shoulder；　〃Well；　so　long；　Jesse。〃



I　was　wondering　why　he　should　say　good…bye　when　a　white　man　came

riding　into　the　corral。　　He　said　Major　Higbee　had　sent　him　to　tell

us　to　hurry　up；　because　the　Indians　might　attack　at　any　moment。



So　the　march　began；　the　two　wagons　first。　　Lee　kept　along　with　the

women　and　walking　children。　　Behind　us；　after　waiting　until　we　were

a　couple　of　hundred　feet　in　advance；　came　our　men。　　As　we　emerged

from　the　corral　we　could　see　the　militia　just　a　short　distance　away。

They　were　leaning　on　their　rifles　and　standing　in　a　long　line　about

six　feet　apart。　　As　we　passed　them　I　could　not　help　noticing　how

solemn…faced　they　were。　　They　looked　like　men　at　a　funeral。　　So　did

the　women　notice　this；　and　some　of　them　began　to　cry。



I　walked　right　behind　my　mother。　　I　had　chosen　this　position　so　that

she　would　not　catch…sight　of　my　scalps。　　Behind　me　came　the　three

Demdike　sisters；　two　of　them　helping　the　old　mother。　　I　could　hear

Lee　calling　all　the　time　to　the　men　who　drove　the　wagons　not　to　go

so　fast。　　A　man　that　one　of　the　Demdike　girls　said　must　be　Major

Higbee　sat　on　a　horse　watching　us　go　by。　　Not　an　Indian　was　in

sight。



By　the　time　our　men　were　just　abreast　of　the　militiaI　had　just

looked　back　to　try　to　see　where　Jed　Dunham　wasthe　thing　happened。

I　heard　Major　Higbee　cry　out　in　a　loud　voice；　〃Do　your　duty！〃　　All

the　rifles　of　the　militia　seemed　to　go　off　at　once；　and　our　men　were

falling　over　and　sinking　down。　　All　the　Demdike　women　went　down　at

one　time。　　I　turned　quickly　to　see　how　mother　was；　and　she　was　down。

Right　alongside　of　us；　out　of　the　bushes；　came　hundreds　of　Indians；

all　shooting。　　I　saw　the　two　Dunlap　sisters　start　on　the　run　across

the　sand；　and　took　after　them；　for　whites　and　Indians　were　all

killing　us。　　And　as　I　ran　I　saw　the　driver　of　one　of　the　wagons

shooting　the　two　wounded　men。　　The　horses　of　the　other　wagon　were

plunging　and　rearing　and　their　driver　was　trying　to　hold　them。





It　was　when　the　little　boy　that　was　I　was　running　after　the　Dunlap

girls　that　blackness　came　upon　him。　　All　memory　there　ceases；　for

Jesse　Fancher　there　ceased；　and；　as　Jesse　Fancher；　ceased　for　ever。

The　form　that　was　Jesse　Fancher；　the　body　that　was　his；　being　matter

and　apparitional；　like　an　apparition　passed　and　was　not。　　But　the

imperishable　spirit　did　not　cease。　　It　continued　to　exist；　and；　in

its　next　incarnation；　became　the　residing　spirit　of　that

apparitional　body　known　as　Darrell　Standing's　which　soon　is　to　be

taken　out　and　hanged　and　sent　into　the　nothingness　whither　all

apparitions　go。



There　is　a　lifer　here　in　Folsom；　Matthew　Davies；　of　old　pioneer

stock；　who　is　trusty　of　the　scaffold　and　execution　chamber。　　He　is

an　old　man；　and　his　folks　crossed　the　plains　in　the　early　days。　　I

have　talked　with　him；　and　he　has　verified　the　massacre　in　which

Jesse　Fancher　was　killed。　　When　this　old　lifer　was　a　child　there　was

much　talk　in　his　family　of　the　Mountain　Meadows　Massacre。　　The

children　in　the　wagons；　he　said；　were　saved；　because　they　were　too

young　to　tell　tales。



All　of　which　I　submit。　　Never；　in　my　life　of　Darrell　Standing；　have

I　read　a　line　or　heard　a　word　spoken　of　the　Fancher　Company　that

perished　at　Mountain　Meadows。　　Yet；　in　the　jacket　in　San　Quentin

prison；　all　this　knowledge　came　to　me。　　I　could　not　create　this

knowledge　out　of　nothing；　any　more　than　could　I　create　dynamite　out

of　nothing。　　This　knowledge　and　these　facts　I　have　related　have　but

one　explanation。　　They　are　out　of　the　spirit　content　of　methe

spirit　that；　unlike　matter；　does　not　perish。



In　closing　this　chapter　I　must　state　that　Matthew　Davies　also　told

me　that　some　years　after　the　massacre　Lee　was　taken　by　United　States

Government　officials　to　the　Mountain　Meadows　and　there　executed　on

the　site　of　our　old　corral。







CHAPTER　XIV







When；　at　the　conclusion　of　my　first　ten　days'　term　in　the　jacket；　I

was　brought　back　to　consciousness　by　Doctor　Jackson's　thumb　pressing

open　an　eyelid；　I　opened　both　eyes　and　smiled　up　into　the　face　of

Warden　Atherton。



〃Too　cussed　to　live　and　too　mean　to　die；〃　was　his　comment。



〃The　ten　days　are　up；　Warden；〃　I　whispered。



〃Well；　we're　going　to　unlace　you；〃　he　growled。



〃It　is　not　that；〃　I　said。　　〃You　observed　my　smile。　　You　remember　we

had　a　little　wager。　　Don't　bother　to　unlace　me　first。　　Just　give　the

Bull　Durham　and　cigarette　papers　to　Morrell　and　Oppenheimer。　　And

for　full　measure　here's　another　smile。〃



〃Oh；　I　know　your　kind；　Standing；〃　the　Warden　lectured。　　〃But　it

won't　get　you　anything。　　If　I　don't　break　you；　you'll　break　all

strait…jacket　records。〃



〃He's　broken　them　already；〃　Doctor　Jackson　said。　　〃Who　ever　heard　of

a　man　smiling　after　ten　days　of　it？〃



〃Well　and　bluff；〃　Warden　Atherton　answered。　　〃Unlace　him；　Hutchins。〃



〃Why　such　haste？〃　I　queried；　in　a　whisper；　of　course；　for　so　low　had

life　ebbed　in　me　that　it　required　all　the　little　strength　I

possessed　and　all　the　will　of　me　to　be　able　to　whisper　even。　　〃Why

such　haste？　　I　don't　have　to　catch　a　train；　and　I　am　so　confounded

comfortable　as　I　am　that　I　prefer　not　to　be　disturbed。〃



But　unlace　me　they　did；　rolling　me　out　of　the　fetid　jacket　and　upon

the　floor；　an　inert；　helpless　thing。



〃No　wonder　he　was　comfortable；〃　said　Captain　Jamie。　　〃He　didn't　feel

anything。　　He's　paralysed。〃



〃Paralysed　your　grandmother；〃　sneered　the　Warden。　　〃Get　him　up　on

his　feat　and　you'll　see　him　stand。〃



Hutchins　and　the　doctor　dragged　me　to　my　feet。



〃Now　let　go！〃　the　Warden　commanded。



Not　all　at　once　could　life　return　into　the　body　that　had　been

practically　dead　for　ten　days；　and　as　a　result；　with　no　power　as　yet

over　my　flesh；　I　gave　at　the　knees；　crumpled；　pitched　sidewise；　and

gashed　my　forehead　against　the　wall。



〃You　see；〃　said　Captain　Jamie。



〃Good　acting；〃　retorted　the　Warden。　　〃That　man's　got　nerve　to　do

anything。〃



〃You're　right；　Warden；〃　I　whispered　from　the　floor。　　〃I　did　it　on

purpose。　　It　was　a　stage　fall。　　Lift　me　up　again；　and　I'll　repeat

it。　　I　promise　you　lots　of　fun。〃



I　shall　not　dwell　upon　the　agony　of　returning　circulation。　　It　was

to　become　an　old　story　with　me；　and　it　bore　its　share　in　cutting　the

lines　in　my　face　that　I　shall　carry　to　the　scaffold。



When　they　finally　left　me　I　lay　for　the　rest　of　the　day　stupid　and

half…comatose。　　There　is　such　a　thing　as　anaesthesia　of　pain；

engendered　by　pain　too　exquisite　to　be　borne。　　And　I　have　known　that

anaesthesia。



By　evening　I　was　able　to　crawl　about　my　cell；　but　not　yet　could　I

stand　up。　　I　drank　much　water；　and　cleansed　myself　as　well　as　I

could；　but　not　until　next　day　could　I　bring　myself　to　eat；　and　then

only　by　deliberate　force　of　my　will。



The　program　me；　as　given　me　by　Warden　Atherton；　was　that　I　was　to

rest　up　and　recuperate　for　a　few　days；　and　then；　if　in　the　meantime

I　had　not　confessed　to　the　hiding…place　of　the　dynamite；　I　should　be

given　another　ten　days　in　the　jacket。



〃Sorry　to　cause　you　so　much　trouble；　Warden；〃　I　had　said　in　reply。

〃It's　a　pity　I　don't　die　in　the　jacket　and　so　put　you　out　of　your

misery。〃



At　this　time　I　doubt　that　I　weighed　an　ounce　over　ninety　pounds。

Yet；　two　years　before；　when　the　doors　of　San　Quentin　first　closed　on

me；　I　had　weighed　one　hundred　and　sixty…five　pounds。　　It　seems

incredible　that　there　was　another　ounce　I　could　part　with　and　still

live。　　Yet　in　the　months　that　followed；　ounce　by　ounce　I　was　reduced

until　I　know　I　must　have　weighed　nearer　eighty　than　ninety　pounds。

I　do　know；　after　I　managed　my　escape　from　solitary　and　struck　the

guard　Thurston　on　the　nose；　that　before　they　took　me　to　San　Rafael

for　trial；　while　I　was　being　cleaned　and　shaved　I　weighed　eighty…

nine　pounds。



There　are　those　who　wonder　how　men　grow　hard。　　Warden　Atherton　was　a

hard　man。　　He　made　me　hard；　and　my　very　hardness　reacted　on　him　and

made　him　harder。　　And　yet　he　never　succeeded　in　killing　me。　　It

required　the　state　law　of　California；　a　hanging　judge；　and　an

unpardoning　governor　to　send　me　to　the　scaffold　for　striking　a

prison　guard　with　my　fist。　　I　shall　always　contend　that　that　guard

had　a　nose　most　easily　bleedable。　　I　was　a　bat…eyed；　tottery

skeleton　at　the　time。　　I　sometimes　wonder　if　his　nose　really　did

bleed。　　Of　course　he　swore　it　did；　on　the　witness　stand。　　But　I　have

known　prison　guards　take　oath　to　worse　perjuries　than　that。



Ed　Morrell　was　eager　to　know　if　I　had　succeeded　with　the　experiment；

but　when　he　attempted　to　talk　with　me　he　was　shu