count bunker-第20章

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〃If　you　had　been　kind　I　did　hope　zat　you　vould　allow　me　to　give　in　your　honor　an　entertainment　at　my　castle。〃

〃An　entertainment！〃　she　cried；　with　a　marked　increase　of　interest。

〃Jost　a　leetle　EXPOSITION　of　ze　Highland　sport；　mit　bagpipes　and　caber　and　so　forth；　unvorthy　of　your　notice　perhaps；　bot　ze　best　I　can　do。〃

Eleanor　clapped　her　hands　enthusiastically。

〃I　should　just　love　it！〃

The　triumphant　diplomatist　smiled　complacently。

〃Bonker　vill　arrange　it　all　nicely；〃　he　said　to　himself。

And　there　rose　in　his　fancy　such　a　pleasing　and　gorgeous　picture　of　himself　in　the　panoply　of　the　North；　hurling　a　hammer　skywards　amidst　the　plaudits　of　his　clan　and　the　ravished　murmurs　of　the　ladies；　that　he　could　not　but　congratulate　himself　upon　this　last　master…stroke　of　policy。　　For　if　instead　of　ladies　there　were　only　one　lady；　exactly　half　the　pleasure　would　be　lacking。　　So　generous　were　this　nobleman's　instincts！

During　their　drive　to　Lincoln　Lodge　the　Baron　had　hesitated　to　broach　his　new　project　to　his　friend　for　the　very　reason　that；　after　the　glow　of　his　first　enthusiastic　proposal　to　Eva　was　over；　it　seemed　to　him　a　vast　undertaking　for　a　limited　object；　but　driving　home　he　lost　no　time　in　confiding　his　scheme　to　the　Count。

〃The　deuce！〃　cried　Bunker。　　〃That　will　mean　three　more　days　here　at　least！〃

〃Vat　is　tree　days；　mine　Bonker？〃

〃My　dear　Baron；　I　am　the　last　man　in　the　world　to　drop　an　unpleasant　hint；　yet　I　can't　help　thinking　we　have　been　so　unconscionably　lucky　up　till　now　that　it　would　be　wise　to　retire　before　an　accident　befalls　us。〃

〃Vat　kind　of　accident？〃

〃The　kind　that　may　happen　to　the　best　regulated　adventurer。〃

The　Baron　pondered。　　When　Bunker　suggested　caution　it　indeed　seemed　time　to　beat　a　retreat；　yet　those　two　charming　ladies；　and　that　alluring　tartan　tableau！

〃Ach；　let　ze　devil　take　ze　man　zat　is　afraid！〃　he　exclaimed　at　last。　　〃Bonker；　it　vill　be　soch　fun！〃

〃Watching　you　complete　two　conquests？〃

〃Be　not　impatient；　good　Bonker！〃

〃My　dear　fellow；　if　you　could　find　me　one　girl　even　one　would　content　mewho　would　condescend　to　turn　her　eyes　from　the　dazzling　spectacle　of　Baron　Tulliwuddle；　and　cast　them　for　so　much　as　half　an　hour　a　day　upon　his　obscure　companion；　I　might　see　some　fun　in　it　too。〃

The　Baron；　with　an　air　of　patronizing　kindness　that　made　his　fellow…adventurer's　lot　none　the　easier　to　bear；　answered　reassuringly

〃Bot　I　shall　leave　all　ze　preparations　to　be　made　by　you；　you　vill　not　have　time　zen　to　feel　lonely。〃

〃Thank　you；　Baron；　you　have　the　knack　of　conferring　the　most　princely　favors。〃

〃Ach；　I　am　used　to　do　so；〃　said　the　Baron　simply；　and　then　burst　out　eagerly；　〃Some　feat　you　must　design　for　me　at　ze　sports　so　zat　I　can　show　zem　my　strength；　eh？〃

〃With　the　caber；　for　instance？〃

The　Baron　had　seen　the　caber　tossed；　and　he　shook　his　head。

〃He　is　too　big。〃

〃I　might　fit　a　strong　spring　in　one　end。〃

But　the　Baron　still　seemed　disinclined。　　His　friend　reflected；　and　then　suddenly　exclaimed

〃The　village　doctor　keeps　some　chemical　apparatus；　I　believe！　　You'll　throw　the　hammer；　Baron。　　I　can　manage　it。〃

The　Baron　appeared　mystified　by　the　juxtaposition　of　ideas；　but　serenely　expressed　himself　as　ready　to　entrust　this　and　all　other　arrangements　for　the　Hechnahoul　Gathering　to　the　ingenious　Count；　as　some　small　compensation　for　so　conspicuously　outshining　him。



CHAPTER　XXIV

The　day　of　the　Gathering　broke　gray　and　still；　and　the　Baron；　who　was　no　weather　prophet；　declared　gloomily

〃It　vill　rain。　　Donnerwetter！〃

A　couple　of　hours　later　the　sun　was　out；　and　the　distant　hills　shimmering　in　the　heat　haze。

〃Himmel！　　Ve　are　alvays　lucky；　Bonker！〃　he　cried；　and　with　gleeful　energy　brandished　his　dumb…bells　in　final　preparation　for　his　muscular　exploits。

〃We　certainly　have　escaped　hanging　so　far；〃　said　the　Count；　as　he　drew　on　the　trews　which　became　his　well…turned　leg　so　happily。

His　arrangements　were　admirable　and　complete；　and　by　twelve　o'clock　the　castle　lawn　looked　as　barbarically　gay　as　the　colored　supplement　to　an　illustrated　paper。　　Pipes　were　skirling；　skirts　fluttering；　flags　flapping；　and　as　invitations　had　been　issued　to　various　magnates　in　the　district；　whether　acquainted　with　the　present　peer　or　not；　there　were　to　be　seen　quite　a　number　of　dignified　personages　in　divers　shades　of　tartan；　and　parasols　of　all　the　hues　in　the　rainbow。　　The　Baron　was　in　his　element。　　He　judged　the　bagpipe　competition　himself；　and　held　one　end　of　the　tape　that　measured　the　jumps；　besides　delighting　the　whole　assembled　company　by　his　affability　and　good　spirits。

〃Your　performance　comes　next；　I　see；〃　said　Eleanor　Maddison；　throwing　him　her　brightest　smile。　　〃I　can't　tell　you　how　I　am　looking　forward　to　seeing　you　do　it！〃

The　Baron　started　and　looked　at　the　programme　in　her　hand。　　He　had　been　too　excited　to　study　it　carefully　before；　and　now　for　the　first　time　he　saw　the　announcement　（in　large　type）

〃7。　Lord　Tulliwuddle　throws　the　85…lb。　hammer。〃

The　sixth　event　was　nearly　through；　and　there　there　evidently　was　the　hammer　in　question　being　carried　into　the　ring　by　no　fewer　than　three　stalwart　Highlanders！　　The　Baron　had　learned　enough　of　the　pastimes　of　his　adopted　country　to　be　aware　that　this　gigantic　weapon　was　something　like　four　times　as　heavy　as　any　hammer　hitherto　thrown　by　the　hardiest　Caledonian。

〃Teufel！　　Bonker　vill　make　a　fool　of　me；〃　he　muttered；　and　hastily　bursting　from　the　circle　of　spectators；　hurried　towards　the　Count；　who　appeared　to　be　busied　in　keeping　the　curious　away　from　the　Chieftain's　hammer。

〃Bonker；　vat　means　zis？〃　he　demanded。

〃Your　hammer；〃　smiled　the　Count。

〃A　hammer　zat　takes　tree　men〃

〃Hush！〃　whispered　the　Count。　　〃They　are　only　holding　it　down！〃

The　Baron　laid　his　hand　upon　the　round　enormous　head；　and　started。

〃It　is　not　iron！〃　he　gasped。　　〃It　is　of　rubber。〃

〃Filled　with　hydrogen；〃　breathed　the　Count　in　his　ear。　　〃Just　swing　it　once　and　let　goand；　I　say；　mind　it　doesn't　carry　you　away　with　it。〃

The　chief　bared　his　arms　and　seized　the　handle；　his　three　clansmen　let　go；　and　then；　with　what　seemed　to　the　breathless　spectators　to　be　a　merely　trifling　effort　of　strength；　he　dismissed　the　projectile　upon　the　most　astounding　journey　ever　seen　even　in　that　land　of　brawny　hammer…hurlers。　　Up；　up；　up　it　soared；　over　the　trees；　high　above　the　topmost　turret　of　the　castle；　and　still　on　and　on　and　ever　upwards　till　it　became　a　mere　speck　in　the　zenith；　and　at　last　faded　utterly　from　sight。

Then；　and　not　till　then；　did　the　pent…up　applause　break　out　into　such　a　roar　of　cheering　as　Hechnahoul　had　never　heard　before　in　all　its　long　history。

〃Eighty…five　pounds　of　pig…iron　gone　straight　to　heaven！〃　gasped　the　Silver　King。　　〃Guess　that　beats　all　records！〃

〃America　must　wake　up！〃　frowned　Ri。

Meanwhile　the　Baron；　after　bowing　in　turn　towards　all　points　of　the　compass；　turned　confidentially　to　his　friend。

〃Vill　not　ze　men　that　carried　it？〃

〃I've　told　'em　you'd　give　'em　a　couple　of　sovereigns　apiece。〃

The　Baron　came　from　an　economical　nation。

〃Two　to　each！〃

〃My　dear　fellow；　wasn't　it　worth　it？〃

The　Baron　grasped　his　hand。

〃Ja；　mine　Bonker；　it　vas！　　I　vill　pay　zem。〃

Radiant　and　smiling；　he　returned　to　receive　the　congratulations　of　his　guests；　dreaming　that　his　triumph　was　complete；　and　that　nothing　more　arduous　remained　than　pleasant　dalliance　alternately　with　his　Eleanor　and　his　Eva。　　But　he　speedily　discovered　that　hurling　an　inflated　hammer　heavenwards　was　child's　play　as　compared　with　the　simultaneous　negotiation　of　a　double　wooing。　　The　first　person　to　address　him　was　the　millionaire；　and　he　could　not　but　feel　a　shiver　of　apprehension　to　note　that　he　was　evidently　in　the　midst　of　a　conversation　with　Mr。　Gallosh。

〃I　must　congratulate　you；　Lord　Tulliwuddle；〃　said　Mr。　Maddison；　〃and　I　must　further　congratulate　my　daughter　upon　the　almost　miraculous　feat　you　have　performed　for　her　benefit。　　You　know；　I　dare　say〃　here　he　turned　to　Mr。　Gallosh〃that　this　very　delightful　entertainment　was　given　primarily　in　my　Eleanor's　honor？〃

〃Whut！〃　exclaimed　the　merchant。　　〃That'seh　that's　scarcely　the　fac's　as　we've　learned　them。　　But　his　lordship　will　be　able　to　tell　you　best　himself。〃

His　lordship　smiled　affably　upon　both；　murmured　something　incoherent；　and　passed　on　hastily　towards　the　scarlet　parasol　of　Eleanor。　　But　he　had　no　sooner　reached　it　than　he　paused　and　would　have　turned　had　she　not　seen　him；　for　under　a　blue　parasol　beside　her　he　espied；　too　late；　the　fair　face　of　Eva；　and　too　clearly　perceived　that　the　happy　maidens　had　been　comparing　notes；　with　the　result　that　neither　looked　very　happy　now。

〃I　hope　you　do　enjoy　ze　sports；〃　he　began；　endeavoring　to　distribute　this　wish　as　equally　as　possible。

〃Miss　Gallosh　has　been　remarkably　fortunate　in　her　weather；〃　said　Eleanor；　and　therewith　gave　him　an　uninterrupted　view　of　her　sunshade。

〃Miss　Maddison　has　seen　you　to　great　advantage；　Lord　Tulliwuddle；〃　said　Eva；　affording　him　the　next　instant　a　similar　prospect　of　silk。

The　unfortunate　chief　recoiled　from　this　ungrateful　reception　of　his　kindness。　　Only　one　refuge；　one　mediator；　he　instinctively　looked　for；　but　where　could　the　Count　have　gone？

〃Himmel！　　Has　he　deserted　me？〃　he　muttered；　frantically　elbowing　his　way　in　search　of　him。

But　this　once　it　happened　that　the　Count　was　engaged　upon　business　of　his　own。　　Strolling　outside　the　ring　of　spectators；　with　a　view　to　enjoying　a　cigar　and　a　little　relaxation　from　the　anxieties　of　stage…management；　his　attention　had　been　arrested　in　a　singular　and　flattering　way。　　At　that　place　where　he　happened　to　be　passing　stood　an　open　carriage　containing　a　girl　and　an　older　lady；　evidently　guests　from　the　neighborhood　personally　unknown　to　his　lordship；　and　just　as　he　went　by　he　heard　pronounced　in　a　thrilling　whisper〃THAT　must　be　Count　Bunker！〃

The　Count　was　too　well…bred　to　turn　at　once；　but　it　is　hardly　necessary　to　say　that　a　few　moments　later　he　casually　repassed　the　carriage；　nor　will　it　astonish　any　who　have　been　kind　enough　to　follow　his　previous　career　with　some　degree　of　attention　to　learn　that　when　opposite　the　ladies　he　paused；　looked　from　them　to　the　enclosure　and　back　again；　and　presently　raising　his　feathered　bonnet；　said　in　the　most　ingratiating　tones

〃Pardon　me；　but　I　am　requested　by　Lord　Tulliwuddle　to　show　any　attention　I　can　to　the　comfort　of　his　guests。　　Can　you　see　well　from　where　you　are？〃

The　younger　lady　with　an　eager　air　assured　him　that　they　saw　perfectly；　and　even　in　the　course　of　the　three　or　four　sentences　she　spoke　he　was　able　to　come　to　several　conclusions　regarding　her：　that　her　companion　was　in　a　subsidiary　and　doubtless　salaried　position；　that　she　herself　was　decidedly　attractive　to　look　upon；　that　her　voice　had　spoken　the　whispered　words；　and　that　her　present　animated　air　might　safely　be　attributed　rather　to　the　fact　that　she　addressed　Count　Bunker　than　to　the　subject…matter　of　her　reply。

No　one　possessed　in　a　higher　degree　than　the　Count　the　nice　art　of　erecting　a　whole　conversation　upon　the　foundation　of　the　lightest　phrase。　　He　contrived　a　reply　to　the　lady's　answer；　was　able　to　put　the　most　natural　question　next；　to　follow　that　with　a　happy　s