worldly ways and byways-第13章

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evidently　been　〃banting；〃　and　a　few　towels　a　foot　long　with　a　

surface　like　sand…paper；　completed　the　fittings　of　the　room。　　Baths　

were　unknown；　and　hot　water　was　a　luxury　distributed　sparingly　by　a　

capricious　handmaiden。　　It　is　only　fair　to　add　that　everything　in　

the　room　was　perfectly　clean；　as　was　the　coarse　table　linen　in　the　

dining　room。



The　meals　were　in　harmony　with　the　rooms　and　furniture；　consisting　

only　of　the　strict　necessities；　cooked　with　a　Spartan　disregard　for　

such　sybarite　foibles　as　seasoning　or　dressing。　　I　believe　there　

was　a　substantial　meal　somewhere　in　the　early　morning　hours；　but　I　

never　succeeded　in　getting　down　in　time　to　inspect　it。　　By　

successful　bribery；　I　induced　one　of　the　village　belles；　who　served　

at　table；　to　bring　a　cup　of　coffee　to　my　room。　　The　first　morning　

it　appeared　already　poured　out　in　the　cup；　with　sugar　and　cold　milk　

added　at　her　discretion。　　At　one　o'clock　a　dinner　was　served；　

consisting　of　soup　（occasionally）；　one　meat　dish　and　attendant　

vegetables；　a　meagre　dessert；　and　nothing　else。　　At　half…past　six　

there　was　an　equally　rudimentary　meal；　called　〃tea；〃　after　which　no　

further　food　was　distributed　to　the　inmates；　who　all；　however；　

seemed　perfectly　contented　with　this　arrangement。　　In　fact　they　

apparently　looked　on　the　act　of　eating　as　a　disagreeable　task；　to　

be　hurried　through　as　soon　as　possible　that　they　might　return　to　

their　aimless　rocking　and　chattering。



Instead　of　dinner　hour　being　the　feature　of　the　day；　uniting　people　

around　an　attractive　table；　and　attended　by　conversation；　and　the　

meal　lasting　long　enough　for　one's　food　to　be　properly　eaten；　it　

was　rushed　through　as　though　we　were　all　trying　to　catch　a　train。　　

Then；　when　the　meal　was　over；　the　boarders　relapsed　into　apathy　

again。



No　one　ever　called　this　hospitable　home　a　boarding…house；　for　the　

proprietor　was　furious　if　it　was　given　that　name。　　He　also　scorned　

the　idea　of　keeping　a　hotel。　　So　that　I　never　quite　understood　in　

what　relation　he　stood　toward　us。　　He　certainly　considered　himself　

our　host；　and　ignored　the　financial　side　of　the　question　severely。　　

In　order　not　to　hurt　his　feelings　by　speaking　to　him　of　money；　we　

were　obliged　to　get　our　bills　by　strategy　from　a　male　subordinate。　　

Mine　host　and　his　family　were　apparently　unaware　that　there　were　

people　under　their　roof　who　paid　them　for　board　and　lodging。　　We　

were　all　looked　upon　as　guests　and　〃entertained；〃　and　our　rights　

impartially　ignored。



Nothing；　I　find；　is　so　distinctive　of　New　England　as　this　graceful　

veiling　of　the　practical　side　of　life。　　The　landlady　always　

reminded　me；　by　her　manner；　of　Barrie's　description　of　the　bill…

sticker's　wife　who　〃cut〃　her　husband　when　she　chanced　to　meet　him　

〃professionally〃　engaged。　　As　a　result　of　this　extreme　detachment　

from　things　material；　the　house　ran　itself；　or　was　run　by　

incompetent　Irish　and　negro　〃help。〃　　There　were　no　bells　in　the　

rooms；　which　simplified　the　service；　and　nothing　could　be　ordered　

out　of　meal　hours。



The　material　defects　in　board　and　lodging　sink；　however；　into　

insignificance　before　the　moral　and　social　unpleasantness　of　an　

establishment　such　as　this。　　All　ages；　all　conditions；　and　all　

creeds　are　promiscuously　huddled　together。　　It　is　impossible　to　

choose　whom　one　shall　know　or　whom　avoid。　　A　horrible　burlesque　of　

family　life　is　enabled；　with　all　its　inconveniences　and　none　of　its　

sanctity。　　People　from　different　cities；　with　different　interests　

and　standards；　are　expected　to　〃chum〃　together　in　an　intimacy　that　

begins　with　the　eight　o'clock　breakfast　and　ends　only　when　all　

retire　for　the　night。　　No　privacy；　no　isolation　is　allowed。　　If　you　

take　a　book　and　begin　to　read　in　a　remote　corner　of　a　parlor　or　

piazza；　some　idle　matron　or　idiotic　girl　will　tranquilly　invade　

your　poor　little　bit　of　privacy　and　gabble　of　her　affairs　and　the　

day's　gossip。　　There　is　no　escape　unless　you　mount　to　your　ten…by…

twelve　cell　and　sit　（like　the　Premiers　of　England　when　they　visit　

Balmoral）　on　the　bed；　to　do　your　writing；　for　want　of　any　other　

conveniences。　　Even　such　retirement　is　resented　by　the　boarders。　　

You　are　thought　to　be　haughty　and　to　give　yourself　airs　if　you　do　

not　sit　for　twelve　consecutive　hours　each　day　in　unending　

conversation　with　them。



When　one　reflects　that　thousands　of　our　countrymen　pass　at　least　

one…half　of　their　lives　in　these　asylums；　and　that　thousands　more　

in　America　know　no　other　homes；　but　move　from　one　hotel　to　another；　

while　the　same　outlay　would　procure　them　cosy；　cheerful　dwellings；　

it　does　seem　as　if　these　modern　Arabs；　Holmes's　〃Folding　Bed…

ouins；〃　were　gradually　returning　to　prehistoric　habits　and　would　

end　by　eating　roots　promiscuously　in　caves。



The　contradiction　appears　more　marked　the　longer　one　reflects　on　

the　love　of　independence　and　impatience　of　all　restraint　that　

characterize　our　race。　　If　such　an　institution　had　been　conceived　

by　people　of　the　Old　World；　accustomed　to　moral　slavery　and　to　a　

thousand　petty　tyrannies；　it　would　not　be　so　remarkable；　but　that　

we；　of　all　the　races　of　the　earth；　should　have　created　a　form　of　

torture　unknown　to　Louis　XI。　or　to　the　Spanish　Inquisitors；　is　

indeed　inexplicable！　　Outside　of　this　happy　land　the　institution　is　

unknown。　　The　PENSION　when　it　exists　abroad；　is　only　an　exotic　

growth　for　an　American　market。　　Among　European　nations　it　is　

undreamed　of；　the　poorest　when　they　travel　take　furnished　rooms；　

where　they　are　served　in　private；　or　go　to　restaurants　or　TABLE　

D'HOTES　for　their　meals。　　In　a　strictly　continental　hotel　the　

public　parlor　does　not　exist。　　People　do　not　travel　to　make　

acquaintances；　but　for　health　or　recreation；　or　to　improve　their　

minds。　　The　enforced　intimacy　of　our　American　family　house；　with　

its　attendant　quarrelling　and　back…biting；　is　an　infliction　of　

which　Europeans　are　in　happy　ignorance。



One　explanation；　only；　occurs　to　me；　which　is　that　among　New　

England　people；　largely　descended　from　Puritan　stock；　there　still　

lingers　some　blind　impulse　at　self…mortification；　an　hereditary　

inclination　to　make　this　life　as　disagreeable　as　possible　by　self…

immolation。　　Their　ancestors；　we　are　told　by　Macaulay；　suppressed　

bull　baiting；　not　because　it　hurt　the　bull；　but　because　it　gave　

pleasure　to　the　people。　　Here　in　New　England　they　refused　the　Roman　

dogma　of　Purgatory　and　then　with　complete　inconsistency；　invented　

the　boarding…house；　in　order；　doubtless；　to　take　as　much　of　the　joy　

as　possible　out　of　this　life；　as　a　preparation　for　endless　bliss　in　

the　next。









CHAPTER　15　…　A　False　Start





HAVING　had；　during　a　wandering　existence；　many　opportunities　of　

observing　my　compatriots　away　from　home　and　familiar　surroundings　

in　various　circles　of　cosmopolitan　society；　at　foreign　courts；　in　

diplomatic　life；　or　unofficial　capacities；　I　am　forced　to　

acknowledge　that　whereas　my　countrywoman　invariably　assumed　her　new　

position　with　grace　and　dignity；　my　countryman；　in　the　majority　of　

cases；　appeared　at　a　disadvantage。



I　take　particular　pleasure　in　making　this　tribute　to　my　〃sisters〃　

tact　and　wit；　as　I　have　been　accused　of　being　〃hard〃　on　American　

women；　and　some　half…humorous　criticisms　have　been　taken　seriously　

by　over…susceptible　women　…　doubtless　troubled　with　guilty　

consciences　for　nothing　is　more　exact　than　the　old　French　proverb；　

〃It　is　only　the　truth　that　wounds。〃



The　fact　remains　clear；　however；　that　American　men；　as　regards　

polish；　facility　in　expressing　themselves　in　foreign　languages；　the　

arts　of　pleasing　and　entertaining；　in　short；　the　thousand　and　one　

nothings　composing　that　agreeable　whole；　a　cultivated　member　of　

society；　are　inferior　to　their　womankind。　　I　feel　sure　that　all　

Americans　who　have　travelled　and　have　seen　their　compatriot　in　his　

social　relations　with　foreigners；　will　agree　with　this；　reluctant　

as　I　am　to　acknowledge　it。



That　a　sister　and　brother　brought　up　together；　under　the　same　

influences；　should　later　differ　to　this　extent　seems　incredible。　　

It　is　just　this　that　convinces　me　we　have　made　a　false　start　as　

regards　the　education　and　ambitions　of　our　young　men。



To　find　the　reasons　one　has　only　to　glance　back　at　our　past。　　After　

the　struggle　that　insured　our　existence　as　a　united　nation；　came　a　

period　of　great　prosperity。　　When　both　seemed　secure；　we　did　not　

pause　and　take　breath；　as　it　were；　before　entering　a　new　epoch　of　

development；　but　dashed　ahead　on　the　old　lines。　　It　is　here　that　we　

got　on　the　wrong　road。　　Naturally　enough　too；　for　our　peculiar　

position　on　this　continent；　far　away　from　the　centres　of　

cultivation　and　art；　surrounded　only　by　less　successful　states　with　

which　to　compare　ourselves；　has　led　us　into　forming　erroneous　ideas　

as　to　the　proportions　of　things；　causing　us　to　exaggerate　the　value　

of　material　prosperity　and　undervalue　matters　of　infinitely　greater　

importance；　which　have　been　neglected　in　consequence。



A　man　who；　after　fighting　through　our　late　war；　had　succeeded　in　

amassing　a　fortune；　naturally　wished　his　son　to　follow　him　on　the　

only　road　in　which　it　had　ever　occurred　to　him　that　success　was　of　

any　importance。　　So　beyond　giving　the　boy　a　college　education；　

which　he　had　not　enjoyed；　his　ambition　rarely　went；　his　idea　being　

to　make　a　practical　business　man　of　him；　or　a　lawyer；　that　he　could　

keep　the　estate　together　more　intelligently。　　In　thousands　of　

cases；　of　course；　individual　taste　and　bent　over…ruled　this　

influence；　and　a　career　of　science　or　art　was　chosen；　but　in　the　

mass　of　the　American　people；　it　was　firmly　implanted　that　the　

pursuit　of　wealth　was　the　only　occupation　to　which　a　reasonable　

human　being　could　devote　himself。　　A　young　man　who　was　not　in　some　

way　engaged　in　increasing　his　income　was　looked　upon　as　a　very　

undesirable　member　of　society；　and　sure；　sooner　or　later；　to　come　

to　harm。



Millionaires　declined　to　send　their　sons　to　college；　saying　they　

would　get　ideas　there　that　would　unfit　them　for　business；　to　

Paterfamilias　the　one　object　of　life。　　Under　such　fostering　

influences；　the　ambitions　in　our　country　have　gradually　given　way　

to　money　standards　and　the　false　start　has　been　made！　　Leaving　

aside　at　once　the　question　of　money　in　its　relation　to　our　politics　

（although　it　would　be　a　fruitful　subject　for　moralizing）；　and　

confining　ourselves　strictly　to　the　social　side　of　life；　we　soon　

see　the　results　of　this　mammon　worship。



In　England　（although　Englishmen　have　been　contemptuously　called　the　

shop…keepers　of　the　world）　the　extension　and　maintenance　of　their　

vast　empire　is　the　mainspring　which　keeps　the　great　machine　in　

movement。　　And　one　sees　tens　of　thousands　of　well…born　and　

delicately…bred　men　cheerfully　entering　the　many　branches　of　public　

service　where　the　hope　of　wealth