worldly ways and byways-第16章

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their　civil　lists；　these　great　ones　have　little　but　their　

amusements　to　occupy　them。　　Do　they　ever　reflect；　as　they　rush　

about　visiting　each　other　and　squabbling　over　precedence　when　they　

meet；　that　some　fine　morning　the　tax…payers　may　wake　up；　and　ask　

each　other　why　they　are　being　crushed　under　such　heavy　loads；　that　

eight　hundred　or　more　quite　useless　people　may　pass　their　lives　in　

foreign　watering…places；　away　from　their　homes　and　their　duties？　　

It　will　be　a　bad　day　for　them　when　the　long…suffering　subjects　say　

to　them；　〃Since　we　get　on　so　exceedingly　well　during　your　many　

visits　abroad；　we　think　we　will　try　how　it　will　work　without　you　at　

all！〃



The　Prince　of　little　Monaco　seems　to　be　about　the　only　one　up　to　

the　situation；　for　he　at　least　stays　at　home；　and　in　connection　

with　two　other　gentlemen　runs　an　exceedingly　good　hotel　and　several　

restaurants　on　his　estates；　doing　all　he　can　to　attract　money　into　

the　place；　while　making　the　strictest　laws　to　prevent　his　subjects　

gambling　at　the　famous　tables。　　Now　if　other　royalties　instead　of　

amusing　themselves　all　the　year　round　would　go　in　for　something　

practical　like　this；　they　might　become　useful　members　of　the　

community。　　This　idea　of　Monaco's　Prince　strikes　one　as　most　

timely；　and　as　opening　a　career　for　other　indigent　crowned　heads。　　

Hotels　are　getting　so　good　and　so　numerous；　that　without　some　

especial　〃attraction〃　a　new　one　can　hardly　succeed；　but　a　

〃Hohenzollern　House〃　well　situated　in　Berlin；　with　William　II。　to　

receive　the　tourists　at　the　door；　and　his　fat　wife　at　the　desk；　

would　be　sure　to　prosper。　　It　certainly　would　be　pleasanter　for　him　

to　spend　money　so　honestly　earned　than　the　millions　wrested　from　

half…starving　peasants　which　form　his　present　income。　　Besides　

there　is　almost　as　much　gold　lace　on　a　hotel　employee's　livery　as　

on　a　court　costume！



The　numerous　crowned　heads　one　meets　wandering　about；　can　hardly　

lull　themselves　over　their　〃games〃　with　the　flattering　unction　that　

they　are　of　use；　for；　have　they　not　France　before　them　（which　they　

find　so　much　to　their　taste）　stronger；　richer；　more　respected　than　

ever　since　she　shook　herself　free　of　such　incumbrances？　　Not　to　

mention　our　own　democratic　country；　which　has　managed　to　hold　its　

own；　in　spite　of　their　many　gleeful　predictions　to　the　contrary。









CHAPTER　18　…　A　Rock　Ahead





HAVING　had　occasion　several　times　during　this　past　season；　to　pass　

by　the　larger　stores　in　the　vicinity　of　Twenty…third　Street；　I　have　

been　struck　more　than　ever；　by　the　endless　flow　of　womankind　that　

beats　against　the　doors　of　those　establishments。　　If　they　were　

temples　where　a　beneficent　deity　was　distributing　health；　learning；　

and　all　the　good　things　of　existence；　the　rush　could　hardly　have　

been　greater。　　It　saddened　me　to　realize　that　each　of　the　eager　

women　I　saw　was；　on　the　contrary；　dispensing　something　of　her　

strength　and　brain；　as　well　as　the　wearily　earned　stipend　of　the　

men　of　her　family　（if　not　her　own）；　for　what　could　be　of　little　

profit　to　her。



It　occurred　to　me　that；　if　the　people　who　are　so　quick　to　talk　

about　the　elevating　and　refining　influences　of　women；　could　take　an　

hour　or　two　and　inspect　the　centres　in　question；　they　might　not　be　

so　firm　in　their　beliefs。　　For；　reluctant　as　I　am　to　acknowledge　

it；　the　one　great　misfortune　in　this　country；　is　the　unnatural　

position　which　has　been　（from　some　mistaken　idea　of　chivalry）　

accorded　to　women　here。　　The　result　of　placing　them　on　this　

pedestal；　and　treating　them　as　things　apart；　has　been　to　make　women　

in　America　poorer　helpmeets　to　their　husbands　than　in　any　other　

country　on　the　face　of　the　globe；　civilized　or　uncivilized。



Strange　as　it　may　appear；　this　is　not　confined　to　the　rich；　but　

permeates　all　classes；　becoming　more　harmful　in　descending　the　

social　scale；　and　it　will　bring　about　a　disintegration　of　our　

society；　sooner　than　could　be　believed。　　The　saying　on　which　we　

have　all　been　brought　up；　viz。；　that　you　can　gauge　the　point　of　

civilization　attained　in　a　nation　by　the　position　it　accords　to　

woman；　was　quite　true　as　long　as　woman　was　considered　man's　

inferior。　　To　make　her　his　equal　was　perfectly　just；　all　the　

trouble　begins　when　you　attempt　to　make　her　man's　superior；　a　

something　apart　from　his　working　life；　and　not　the　companion　of　his　

troubles　and　cares；　as　she　was　intended　to　be。



When　a　small　shopkeeper　in　Europe　marries；　the　next　day　you　will　

see　his　young　wife　taking　her　place　at　the　desk　in　his　shop。　　While　

he　serves　his　customers；　his　smiling　spouse　keeps　the　books；　makes　

change；　and　has　an　eye　on　the　employees。　　At　noon　they　dine　

together；　in　the　evening；　after　the　shop　is　closed；　are　pleased　or　

saddened　together　over　the　results　of　the　day。　　The　wife's　DOT　

almost　always　goes　into　the　business；　so　that　there　is　a　community　

of　interest　to　unite　them；　and　their　lives　are　passed　together。　　In　

this　country；　what　happens？　　The　husband　places　his　new　wife　in　a　

small　house；　or　in　two　or　three　furnished　rooms；　generally　so　far　

away　that　all　idea　of　dining　with　her　is　impossible。　　In　

consequence；　he　has　a　〃quick　lunch〃　down　town；　and　does　not　see　his　

wife　between　eight　o'clock　in　the　morning　and　seven　in　the　evening。　　

His　business　is　a　closed　book　to　her；　in　which　she　can　have　no　

interest；　for　her　weary　husband　naturally　revolts　from　talking　

〃shop；〃　even　if　she　is　in　a　position　to　understand　him。



His　false　sense　of　shielding　her　from　the　rude　world　makes　him　keep　

his　troubles　to　himself；　so　she　rarely　knows　his　financial　position　

and　sulks　over　his　〃meanness〃　to　her；　in　regard　to　pin…money；　and　

being　a　perfectly　idle　person；　her　days　are　apt　to　be　passed　in　a　

way　especially　devised　by　Satan　for　unoccupied　hands。　　She　has　

learned　no　cooking　from　her　mother；　〃going　to　market〃　has　become　a　

thing　of　the　past。　　So　she　falls　a　victim　to　the　allurements　of　the　

bargain…counter；　returning　home　after　hours　of　aimless　wandering；　

irritable　and　aggrieved　because　she　cannot　own　the　beautiful　things　

she　has　seen。　　She　passes　the　evening　in　trying　to　win　her　

husband's　consent　to　some　purchase　he　knows　he　cannot　afford；　while　

it　breaks　his　heart　to　refuse　her　…　some　object；　which；　were　she　

really　his　companion；　she　would　not　have　had　the　time　to　see　or　the　

folly　to　ask　for。



The　janitor　in　our　building　is　truly　a　toiler。　　He　rarely　leaves　

his　dismal　quarters　under　the　sidewalk；　but　〃Madam〃　walks　the　

streets　clad　in　sealskin　and　silk；　a　〃Gainsborough〃　crowning　her　

false　〃bang。〃　　I　always　think　of　Max　O'Rell's　clever　saying；　when　I　

see　her：　〃The　sweat　of　the　American　husband　crystallizes　into　

diamond　ear…rings　for　the　American　woman。〃　　My　janitress　sports　a　

diminutive　pair　of　those　jewels　and　has　hopes　of　larger　ones！　　

Instead　of　〃doing〃　the　bachelor's　rooms　in　the　building　as　her　

husband's　helpmeet；　she　〃does〃　her　spouse；　and　a　char…woman　works　

for　her。　　She　is　one　of　the　drops　in　the　tide　that　ebbs　and　flows　

on　Twenty…third　Street　…　a　discontented　woman　placed　in　a　false　

position　by　our　absurd　customs。



Go　a　little　further　up　in　the　social　scale　and　you　will　find　the　

same　〃detached〃　feeling。　　In　a　household　I　know　of　only　one　horse　

and　a　COUPE　can　be　afforded。　　Do　you　suppose　it　is　for　the　use　of　

the　weary　breadwinner？　　Not　at　all。　　He　walks　from　his　home　to　the　

〃elevated。〃　　The　carriage　is　to　take　his　wife　to　teas　or　the　park。　　

In　a　year　or　two　she　will　go　abroad；　leaving　him　alone　to　turn　the　

crank　that　produces　the　income。　　As　it　is；　she　always　leaves　him　

for　six　months　each　year　in　a　half…closed　house；　to　the　tender　

mercies　of　a　caretaker。　　Two　additional　words　could　be　

advantageously　added　to　the　wedding　service。　　After　〃for　richer　for　

poorer；〃　I　should　like　to　hear　a　bride　promise　to　cling　to　her　

husband　〃for　winter　for　summer！〃



Make　another　step　up　and　stand　in　the　entrance　of　a　house　at　two　

A。M。；　just　as　the　cotillion　is　commencing；　and　watch　the　couples　

leaving。　　The　husband；　who　has　been　in　Wall　Street　all　day；　knows　

that　he　must　be　there　again　at　nine　next　morning。　　He　is　furious　at　

the　lateness　of　the　hour；　and　dropping　with　fatigue。　　His　wife；　who　

has　done　nothing　to　weary　her；　is　equally　enraged　to　be　taken　away　

just　as　the　ball　was　becoming　amusing。　　What　a　happy；　united　pair　

they　are　as　the　footman　closes　the　door　and　the　carriage　rolls　off　

home！　　Who　is　to　blame？　　The　husband　is　vainly　trying　to　lead　the　

most　exacting　of　double　lives；　that　of　a　business　man　all　day　and　a　

society　man　all　night。　　You　can　pick　him　out　at　a　glance　in　a　

ballroom。　　His　eye　shows　you　that　there　is　no　rest　for　him；　for　he　

has　placed　his　wife　at　the　head　of　an　establishment　whose　working　

crushes　him　into　the　mud　of　care　and　anxiety。　　Has　he　any　one　to　

blame　but　himself？



In　England；　I　am　told；　the　man　of　a　family　goes　up　to　London　in　the　

spring　and　gets　his　complete　outfit；　down　to　the　smallest　details　

of　hat…box　and　umbrella。　　If　there　happens　to　be　money　left；　the　

wife　gets　a　new　gown　or　two：　if　not；　she　〃turns〃　the　old　ones　and　

rejoices　vicariously　in　the　splendor　of　her　〃lord。〃　　I　know　one　

charming　little　home　over　there；　where　the　ladies　cannot　afford　a　

pony…carriage；　because　the　three　indispensable　hunters　eat　up　the　

where…withal。



Thackeray　was　delighted　to　find　one　household　（Major　Ponto's）　where　

the　governess　ruled　supreme；　and　I　feel　a　fiendish　pleasure　in　

these　accounts　of　a　country　where　men　have　been　able　to　maintain　

some　rights；　and　am　moved　to　preach　a　crusade　for　the　liberation　of　

the　American　husband；　that　the　poor；　down…trodden　creature　may　

revolt　from　the　slavery　where　he　is　held　and　once　more　claim　his　

birthright。　　If　he　be　prompt　to　act　（and　is　successful）　he　may　work　

such　a　reform　that　our　girls；　on　marrying；　may　feel　that　some　

duties　and　responsibilities　go　with　their　new　positions；　and　a　

state　of　things　be　changed；　where　it　is　possible　for　a　woman　to　be　

pitied　by　her　friends　as　a　model　of　abnegation；　because　she　has　

decided　to　remain　in　town　during　the　summer　to　keep　her　husband　

company　and　make　his　weary　home…coming　brighter。　　Or　where　（as　in　a　

story　recently　heard）　a　foreigner　on　being　presented　to　an　American　

bride　abroad　and　asking　for　her　husband；　could　hear　in　answer：　〃Oh；　

he　could　not　come；　he　was　too　busy。　　I　am　making　my　wedding…trip　

without　him。〃









CHAPTER　19　…　The　Grand　Prix





IN　most　cities；　it　is　impossible　to　say　when　the　〃season〃　ends。　　In　

London　and　with　us　in　New　York　it　dwindles　off　without　any　special　

finish；　but　in　Paris　it　closes　like　a　trap…door；　or　the　curtain　on　

the　last　scene　of　a　pantomime；　while　the　lights　are　blazing　and　the　

orchestra　is　banging　its　loudest。　　The　GRAND　PRIX；　which　takes　

place　on　the　second　Sunday　in　June；　is　the　climax