worldly ways and byways-第2章

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I　sometimes　look　about　me　and　wonder　what　the　word　〃mother〃　will　

mean　later；　to　modern　little　boys。　　It　will　evoke；　I　fear；　a　

confused　remembrance　of　some　centaur…like　being；　half　woman；　half　

wheel；　or　as　it　did　to　neglected　little　Rawdon　Crawley；　the　vision　

of　a　radiant　creature　in　gauze　and　jewels；　driving　away　to　endless　

FETES　…　FETES　followed　by　long　mornings；　when　he　was　told　not　to　

make　any　noise；　or　play　too　loudly；　〃as　poor　mamma　is　resting。〃　　

What　other　memories　can　the　〃successful〃　woman　of　to…day　hope　to　

leave　in　the　minds　of　her　children？　　If　the　child　remembers　his　

mother　in　this　way；　will　not　the　man　who　has　known　and　perhaps　

loved　her；　feel　the　same　sensation　of　empty　futility　when　her　name　

is　mentioned？



The　woman　who　proposes　a　game　of　cards　to　a　youth　who　comes　to　pass　

an　hour　in　her　society；　can　hardly　expect　him　to　carry　away　a　

particularly　tender　memory　of　her　as　he　leaves　the　house。　　The　girl　

who　has　rowed；　ridden；　or　raced　at　a　man's　side　for　days；　with　the　

object　of　getting　the　better　of　him　at　some　sport　or　pastime；　

cannot　reasonably　hope　to　be　connected　in　his　thoughts　with　ideas　

more　tender　or　more　elevated　than　〃odds〃　or　〃handicaps；〃　with　an　

undercurrent　of　pique　if　his　unsexed　companion　has　〃downed〃　him　

successfully。



What　man；　unless　he　be　singularly　dissolute　or　unfortunate；　but　

turns　his　steps；　when　he　can；　towards　some　dainty　parlor　where　he　

is　sure　of　finding　a　smiling；　soft…voiced　woman；　whose　welcome　he　

knows　will　soothe　his　irritated　nerves　and　restore　the　even　balance　

of　his　temper；　whose　charm　will　work　its　subtle　way　into　his　

troubled　spirit？　　The　wife　he　loves；　or　the　friend　he　admires　and　

respects；　will　do　more　for　him　in　one　such　quiet　hour　when　two　

minds　commune；　coming　closer　to　the　real　man；　and　moving　him　to　

braver　efforts；　and　nobler　aims；　than　all　the　beauties　and　〃sporty〃　

acquaintances　of　a　lifetime。　　No　matter　what　a　man's　education　or　

taste　is；　none　are　insensible　to　such　an　atmosphere　or　to　the　grace　

and　witchery　a　woman　can　lend　to　the　simplest　surroundings。　　She　

need　not　be　beautiful　or　brilliant　to　hold　him　in　lifelong　

allegiance；　if　she　but　possess　this　magnetism。



Madame　Recamier　was　a　beautiful；　but　not　a　brilliant　woman；　yet　she　

held　men　her　slaves　for　years。　　To　know　her　was　to　fall　under　her　

charm；　and　to　feel　it　once　was　to　remain　her　adorer　for　life。　　She　

will　go　down　to　history　as　the　type　of　a　fascinating　woman。　　Being　

asked　once　by　an　acquaintance　what　spell　she　worked　on　mankind　that　

enabled　her　to　hold　them　for　ever　at　her　feet；　she　laughingly　

answered：



〃I　have　always　found　two　words　sufficient。　　When　a　visitor　comes　

into　my　salon；　I　say；　'ENFIN！'　and　when　he　gets　up　to　go　away；　I　

say；　'DEJA！'　〃



〃What　is　this　wonderful　'charm'　he　is　writing　about？〃　　I　hear　some　

sprightly　maiden　inquire　as　she　reads　these　lines。　　My　dear　young　

lady；　if　you　ask　the　question；　you　have　judged　yourself　and　been　

found　wanting。　　But　to　satisfy　you　as　far　as　I　can；　I　will　try　and　

define　it　…　not　by　telling　you　what　it　is；　that　is　beyond　my　power　

…　but　by　negatives；　the　only　way　in　which　subtle　subjects　can　be　

approached。



A　woman　of　charm　is　never　flustered　and　never　DISTRAITE。　　She　talks　

little；　and　rarely　of　herself；　remembering　that　bores　are　persons　

who　insist　on　talking　about　themselves。　　She　does　not　break　the　

thread　of　a　conversation　by　irrelevant　questions　or　confabulate　in　

an　undertone　with　the　servants。　　No　one　of　her　guests　receives　more　

of　her　attention　than　another　and　none　are　neglected。　　She　offers　

to　each　one　who　speaks　the　homage　of　her　entire　attention。　　She　

never　makes　an　effort　to　be　brilliant　or　entertain　with　her　wit。　　

She　is　far　too　clever　for　that。　　Neither　does　she　volunteer　

information　nor　converse　about　her　troubles　or　her　ailments；　nor　

wander　off　into　details　about　people　you　do　not　know。



She　is　all　things　…　to　each　man　she　likes；　in　the　best　sense　of　

that　phrase；　appreciating　his　qualities；　stimulating　him　to　better　

things。





…　for　his　gayer　hours

She　has　a　voice　of　gladness　and　a　smile　and　eloquence　of　beauty；　

and　she　glides

Into　his　darker　musings　with　a　mild　and　healing　sympathy　that　

steals　away

Their　sharpness　ere　he　is　aware。









CHAPTER　2　…　The　Moth　and　the　Star





THE　truth　of　the　saying　that　〃it　is　always　the　unexpected　that　

happens；〃　receives　in　this　country　a　confirmation　from　an　unlooked…

for　quarter；　as　does　the　fact　of　human　nature　being　always；　

discouragingly；　the　same　in　spite　of　varied　surroundings。　　This　

sounds　like　a　paradox；　but　is　an　exceedingly　simple　statement　

easily　proved。



That　the　great　mass　of　Americans；　drawn　as　they　are　from　such　

varied　sources；　should　take　any　interest　in　the　comings　and　goings　

or　social　doings　of　a　small　set　of　wealthy　and　fashionable　people；　

is　certainly　an　unexpected　development。　　That　to　read　of　the　

amusements　and　home　life　of　a　clique　of　people　with　whom　they　have　

little　in　common；　whose　whole　education　and　point　of　view　are　

different　from　their　own；　and　whom　they　have　rarely　seen　and　never　

expect　to　meet；　should　afford　the　average　citizen　any　amusement　

seems　little　short　of　impossible。



One　accepts　as　a　natural　sequence　that　abroad　（where　an　hereditary　

nobility　have　ruled　for　centuries；　and　accustomed　the　people　to　

look　up　to　them　as　the　visible　embodiment　of　all　that　is　splendid　

and　unattainable　in　life）　such　interest　should　exist。　　That　the　

home…coming　of　an　English　or　French　nobleman　to　his　estates　should　

excite　the　enthusiasm　of　hundreds　more　or　less　dependent　upon　him　

for　their　amusement　or　more　material　advantages；　that　his　marriage　

to　an　heiress　…　meaning　to　them　the　re…opening　of　a　long…closed　

CHATEAU　and　the　beginning　of　a　period　of　prosperity　for　the　

district　…　should　excite　his　neighbors　is　not　to　be　wondered　at。



It　is　well　known　that　whole　regions　have　been　made　prosperous　by　

the　residence　of　a　court；　witness　the　wealth　and　trade　brought　into　

Scotland　by　the　Queen's　preference　for　〃the　Land　of　Cakes；〃　and　the　

discontent　and　poverty　in　Ireland　from　absenteeism　and　persistent　

avoidance　of　that　country　by　the　court。　　But　in　this　land；　where　

every　reason　for　interesting　one　class　in　another　seems　lacking；　

that　thousands　of　well…to…do　people　（half　the　time　not　born　in　this　

hemisphere）；　should　delightedly　devour　columns　of　incorrect　

information　about　New　York　dances　and　Lenox　house…parties；　winter　

cruises；　or　Newport　coaching　parades；　strikes　the　observer　as　the　

〃unexpected〃　in　its　purest　form。



That　this　interest　exists　is　absolutely　certain。　　During　a　trip　in　

the　West；　some　seasons　ago；　I　was　dumbfounded　to　find　that　the　

members　of　a　certain　New　York　set　were　familiarly　spoken　of　by　

their　first　names；　and　was　assailed　with　all　sorts　of　eager　

questions　when　it　was　discovered　that　I　knew　them。　　A　certain　young　

lady；　at　that　time　a　belle　in　New　York；　was　currently　called　SALLY；　

and　a　well…known　sportsman　FRED；　by　thousands　of　people　who　had　

never　seen　either　of　them。　　It　seems　impossible；　does　it　not？　　Let　

us　look　a　little　closer　into　the　reason　of　this　interest；　and　we　

shall　find　how　simple　is　the　apparent　paradox。



Perhaps　in　no　country；　in　all　the　world；　do　the　immense　middle　

classes　lead　such　uninteresting　lives；　and　have　such　limited　

resources　at　their　disposal　for　amusement　or　the　passing　of　leisure　

hours。



Abroad　the　military　bands　play　constantly　in　the　public　parks；　the　

museums　and　palaces　are　always　open　wherein　to　pass　rainy　Sunday　

afternoons；　every　village　has　its　religious　FETES　and　local　fair；　

attended　with　dancing　and　games。　　All　these　mental　relaxations　are　

lacking　in　our　newer　civilization；　life　is　stripped　of　everything　

that　is　not　distinctly　practical；　the　dull　round　of　weekly　toil　is　

only　broken　by　the　duller　idleness　of　an　American　Sunday。　　

Naturally；　these　people　long　for　something　outside　of　themselves　

and　their　narrow　sphere。



Suddenly　there　arises　a　class　whose　wealth　permits　them　to　break　

through　the　iron　circle　of　work　and　boredom；　who　do　picturesque　and　

delightful　things；　which　appeal　directly　to　the　imagination；　they　

build　a　summer　residence　complete；　in　six　weeks；　with　furniture　and　

bric…a…brac；　on　the　top　of　a　roadless　mountain；　they　sail　in　

fairylike　yachts　to　summer　seas；　and　marry　their　daughters　to　the　

heirs　of　ducal　houses；　they　float　up　the　Nile　in　dahabeeyah；　or　

pass　the　〃month　of　flowers〃　in　far　Japan。



It　is　but　human　nature　to　delight　in　reading　of　these　things。　　Here　

the　great　mass　of　the　people　find　（and　eagerly　seize　on）；　the　

element　of　romance　lacking　in　their　lives；　infinitely　more　

enthralling　than　the　doings　of　any　novel's　heroine。　　It　is　real！　　

It　is　taking　place！　and　…　still　deeper　reason　…　in　every　ambitious　

American　heart　lingers　the　secret　hope　that　with　luck　and　good　

management　they　too　may　do　those　very　things；　or　at　least　that　

their　children　will　enjoy　the　fortunes　they　have　gained；　in　just　

those　ways。　　The　gloom　of　the　monotonous　present　is　brightened；　the　

patient　toiler　returns　to　his　desk　with　something　definite　before　

him　…　an　objective　point　…　towards　which　he　can　struggle；　he　knows　

that　this　is　no　impossible　dream。　　Dozens　have　succeeded　and　prove　

to　him　what　energy　and　enterprise　can　accomplish。



Do　not　laugh　at　this　suggestion；　it　is　far　truer　than　you　imagine。　　

Many　a　weary　woman　has　turned　from　such　reading　to　her　narrow　

duties；　feeling　that　life　is　not　all　work；　and　with　renewed　hope　in　

the　possibilities　of　the　future。



Doubtless　a　certain　amount　of　purely　idle　curiosity　is　mingled　with　

the　other　feelings。　　I　remember　quite　well　showing　our　city　sights　

to　a　bored　party　of　Western　friends；　and　failing　entirely　to　amuse　

them；　when；　happening　to　mention　as　we　drove　up　town；　〃there　goes　

Mr。　Blank；〃　（naming　a　prominent　leader　of　cotillions）；　my　guests　

nearly　fell　over　each　other　and　out　of　the　carriage　in　their　

eagerness　to　see　the　gentleman　of　whom　they　had　read　so　much；　and　

who　was；　in　those　days；　a　power　in　his　way；　and　several　times　after　

they　expressed　the　greatest　satisfaction　at　having　seen　him。



I　have　found；　with　rare　exceptions；　and　the　experience　has　been　

rather　widely　gathered　all　over　the　country；　that　this　interest　…　

or　call　it　what　you　will　…　has　been　entirely　without　spite　or　

bitterness；　rather　the　delight　of　a　child　in　a　fairy　story。　　For　

people　are　rarely　envious　of　things　far　removed　from　their　grasp。　　

You　will　find　that　a　woman　who　is　bitter　because　her　neighbor　has　a　

girl　〃help〃　or　a　more　comfortable　cottage；　rarely　feels　envy　

towards　the　owners　of　opera…boxes　or　yachts。　　Such　heart…burnings　

（let　us　hope　they　are　few）　are　among　a　class　born　in　the　shadow　of　

great　wealth；　and　bred　up　with　tastes　t