the decameron(十日谈)-第123章

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opinion）　that　ever　he　had　seene　before。　Namely；　a　paultry　paire　of
Breeches；　wickedly　made；　and　worse　worne；　hanging　downe　lowe　as
halfe　his　legge；　even　as　he　sate　upon　the　Bench；　yet　cut　so
sparingly　of　the　Cloath；　that　they　gaped　wide　open　before；　as　a
wheele…barrow　might　have　full　entrance　allowed　it。　This　strange
sight　was　so　pleasing　to　him；　as　leaving　off　further　search　of　his
friend；　and　scorning　to　have　such　a　spectacle　alone　by　himselfe：　hee
went　upon　another　Inquisition；　Namely；　for　two　other　merry　Lads　like
hirnselfe；　the　one　being　called　Ribi；　and　the　other　Matteuzzo；　men
of　the　same　mirth…full　disposition　as　he　was；　and　therefore　the　fitter
for　his　Company。
　　After　he　had　met　with　them；　these　were　his　salutations：　My　honest
Boyes；　if　ever　you　did　me　any　kindnesse；　declare　it　more　effectually
now；　in　accompanying　me　to　the　Court…house；　where　you　shall　behold
such　a　singular　spectacle；　as　（I　am　sure）　you　never　yet　saw　the
like。　Forthwith　they　went　along　altogether；　and　being　come　to　the
Courthouse；　he　shewed　them　the　Judges　hansome　paire　of　Breeches；
hanging　down　in　such　base　and　beastly　manner；　that　（being　as　yet　farre
off　from　the　Bench）　their　hearts　did　ake　with　extreamity　of
laughter。　But　when　they　came　neere　to　the　seat　whereon　Messer　Niccolao
sate；　they　plainely　perceived；　that　it　was　very　easie　to　be　crept
under；　and　withall；　that　the　board　whereon　he　set　his　feet；　was　rotten
and　broken；　so　that　it　was　no　difficult　matter；　to　reach　it；　and
pull　it　downe　as　a　man　pleased；　and　let　him　fall　bare　Breecht　to　the
ground。　Cheare　up　your　spirits　（my　hearts）　quoth　Maso；　and　if　your
longing　be　like　to　mine；　we　will　have　yonder　Breeches　a　good　deale
lower；　for　I　see　how　it　may　be　easily　done。
　Laying　their　heads　together；　plotting　and　contriving　severall
wayes；　which　might　be　the　likelyest　to；　compasse　their　intent：　each　of
them　had　his　peculiar　appointment；　to　undertake　the　businesse
without　fayling　and　it　was　to　be　performed　the　next　morning。　At　the
houre　assigned；　they　met　there　againe；　and　finding　the　Court　well
filled　with　people；　the　Plaintiffes　and　Defendants　earnestly　pleading：
Matteuzzo　（before　any　body　could　descry　him）　was　cunningly　crept　under
the　Bench；　and　lay　close　by　the　board　whereon　the　Judge　placed　his
feete。　Then　stept　in　Maso　on　the　right　hand　of　Messer　Niccolao；　and
tooke　fast　hold　on　his　Gowne　before；　the　like　did　Ribi　on　the　left
hand；　in　all　respects　answerable　to　the　other。　Oh　my　Lord　Judge　（cryed
Maso　out　aloud）　I　humbly　intreat　you　for　charities　sake；　before　this
pilfering　knave　escape　away　from　hence；　that　I　may　have　justice
against　him；　for　stealing　my　drawing…over　stockeings；　which　he　stoutly
denyeth；　yet　mine　owne　eyes　beheld　the　deed；　it　being　now　not　above
fifteene　dayes　since；　when　first　I　bought　them　for　mine　owne　use。
　　Worthy　Lord　Judge　（cryed　Ribi；　on　the　other　side）　doe　not　beleeve
what　he　saith；　for　he　is　a　paltry　lying　fellow；　and　because　hee　knew　I
came　hither　to　make　my　complaint　for　a　Male　or　Cloakebag　which　he
stole　from　me：　hee　urgeth　this　occasion　for　a　paire　of　drawing
Stockeings；　which　he　delivered　me　with　his　owne　hands。　If　your
Lordship　will　not　credit　me；　I　can　produce　as　witnesses；　Trecco　the
Shoemaker；　with　Monna　Grassa　the　Souse…seller；　and　he　that　sweepes　the
Church　of　Santa　Maria　a　Verzaia；　who　saw　him　when　he　came　posting
hither。　Maso　haling　and　tugging　the　Judge　by　the　sleeve；　would　not
suffer　him　to　heare　Ribi；　but　cryed　out　still　for　justice　against　him；
as　he　did　the　like　on　the　contrary　side。
　　During　the　time　of　this　their　clamourous　contending；　the　Judge　being
very　willy　willing　to　heare　either　party：　Matteuzzo；　upon　a　signe
received　from　the　other；　which　was　a　word　in　Masoes　pleading；　laide
holde　on　the　broken　boord；　as　also　on　the　Judges　low…hanging　Breech；
plucking　at　them　both　so　strongly；　that　they　fell　downe　immediately；
the　Breeches　being　onely　tyed　but　with　one　Poynt　before。　He　hearing
the　boards　breaking　underneath　him；　and　such　maine　pulling　at　his
Breeches；　strove　（as　he　sate）　to　make　them　fast　before；　but　the
Poynt　being　broken；　and　Maso　crying　in　his　eare　on　the　one　side；　as
Ribi　did　the　like　in　the　other；　hee　was　at　his　wits　end　to　defend
himselfe。　My　Lord　（quoth　Maso）　you　may　bee　ashamed　that　you　doe　me　not
justice；　why　will　you　not　heare　mee；　but　wholly　lend　your　eare　to　mine
Adversary？　My　Lord　（said　Ribi）　never　was　Libell　preferd　into　this
Court；　of　such　a　paltry　trifling　matter；　and　therefore　I　must；　and
will　have　Justice。
　　By　this　time　the　Judge　was　dismounted　from　the　Bench；　and　stood　on
the　ground；　with　his　slovenly　Breeches　hanging　about　his　heeles：
Matteuzzo　being　cunningly　stolne　away；　and　undiscovered　by　any　body。
Ribi；　thinking　he　had　shamed　the　Judge　sufficiently；　went　away；
protesting；　that　he　would　declare　his　cause　in　the　hearing　of　a
wiser　Judge。　And　Maso　forbearing　to　tugge　his　Gowne　any　longer；　in　his
departing；　said。　Fare　you　well　Sir；　you　are　not　worthy　to　be　a
Magistrate；　if　you　have　no　more　regard　of　your　honour　and　honesty；　but
will　put　off　poore　mens　suites　at　your　pleasure。　So　both　went　severall
wayes；　and　soone　were　gone　out　of　publike　view。
　　The　worshipfull　Judge　Messer　Niccolao　stood　all　this　while　on　the
ground；　and；　in　presence　of　all　the　beholders；　trussed　up　his
Breeches；　as　if…hee　were　new　risen　out　of　his　bed：　when　better
bethinking　himselfe　on　the　matters　indifference；　he　called　for　the　two
men；　who　contended　for　the　drawing　stockings　and　the　Cloake…bag；　but
no　one　could　tell　what　was　become　of　them。　Whereupon；　he　rapt　out　a
kinde　of　Judges　oath；　saying：　I　will　know　whether　it　be　Law　or　no
heere　in　Florence；　to　make　a　Judge　sit　bare　Breecht　on　the　Bench　of
Justice；　and　in　the　hearing　of　criminall　Causes；　whereat　the　chiefe
Potestate；　and　all　the　standers　by　laughed　heartily。
　　Within　fewe　dayes　after；　he　was　informed　by　some　of　his　especiall
Friends；　that　this　had　never　happened　to　him；　but　onely　to　testifie；
how　understanding　the　Florentines　are；　in　their　ancient
constitutions　and　customes；　to　embrace；　love　and　honour；　honest；
discreet　worthy　Judges　and　Magistrates；　Whereas　on　the　contrary；
they　as　much　condemne　miserable　knaves；　fooles；　and　dolts；　who　never
merit　to　have　any　better　entertainment。　Wherefore；　it　would　be　best
for　him；　to　make　no　more　enquiry　after　the　parties；　lest　a　worse
inconvenience　should　happen　to　him。




　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　THE　EIGHT　DAY；　THE　SIXT　NOVELL

　　　　WHEREIN　IS　DECLARED；　HOW　EASILY　A　PLAINE　AND　SIMPLE　MAN　MAY　BE
　　　　　　　　　MADE　A　FOOLE；　WHEN　HE　DEALETH　WITH　CRAFTY　COMPANIONS。

　　Bruno　and　Buffalmaco；　did　steale　a　young　Brawne　from　Calandrino；　and
for　his　recovery　thereof；　they　used　a　kinde　of　pretended
conjuration；　with　Pilles　made　of　Ginger　and　strong　Malmesey。　But
instead　of　this　application；　they　on；　they　gave　him　two　Pilles　of　a
Dogges　Dates；　or　Dowsets；　confected　in　Alloes；　which　he　received
each　after　the　other　by　meanes　whereof　they　made　him　beleeve；　that　hee
had　robde　himselfe。　And　for　feare　they　should　report　this　theft　to　his
Wife；　they　made　him　to　goe　buy　another　Brawne。

　　Philostratus　had　no　sooner　concluded　his　Novell；　and　the　whole
Assembly　laughed　Madame　thereat：　but　the　Queen　gave　command　to
Madame　Philomena；　that　shee　should　follow　next　in　order；　whereupon
thus　shee　began。　Worthy　Ladies；　as　Philostratus；　by　calling　to　memorie
the　name　of　Maso　del　Saggio；　hath　contented　you　with　another　merry
Novell　concerning　him：　In　the　same　manner　must　I　intreat　you；　to
remember　once　againe　Calandrino　and　his　subtle　by　a　pretty　tale
which　I　meane　to　tell　ow；　and　in　what　manner　they　were　revenged　on
him；　for　going　to　seeke　the　invisible　Stone。
　　Needlesse　were　any　fresh　relation　to　you；　what　manner　of　people
those　three　men　were；　Calandrino；　Bruno；　and　Buffalmaco；　because
already　you　have　had　sufficient　understanding　of　them。　And
therefore；　as　an　induction　to　my　discourse；　I　must　tell　you；　that
Calandrino　had　a　small　Country…house；　in　a　Village　some…what　neere
to　Florence；　which　came　to　him　by　the　marriage　of　his　Wife。　Amon　other
Cattle　and　Poultry；　which　he　kept　there　in　store；　hee　had　a　young
Boare　readie　fatted　for　Brawne；　whereof　yearly　he　used　to　kill　one　for
his　owne　provision；　and　alwaies　in　the　month　of　December；　he　and　his
wife　resorted　to　their　village　house；　to　have　a　Brawne　both　killed　and
salted。
　　It　came　to　passe　at　this　time　concerning　my　Tale；　that　the　Woman
being　somewhat　crazie　and　sickly；　by　her　Husbands　unkinde　usage；
whereof　you　heard　so　lately；　Calandrino　went　alone　to　the　killing　of
his　Boare；　which　comming　to　the　hearing　of　Bruno　and　Buffalmaco　and
that　the　Woman　could　by　no　meanes　be　there：　to　passe　away　the　time　a
little　in　merriment；　they　went　to　a　friendlie　Companion　of　theirs；
an　honest　joviall　Priest；　dwelling　not　farre　off　from　Calandrinoes
Countrey　house。
　　The　same　morning　as　the　Boare　was　kilde；　they　all　three　went
thither；　and　Calandrino　seeing　them　in　the　Priests　companie：　bad
them　all　heartily　welcome；　and　to　acquaint　them　with　his　good
Husbandry；　hee　shewed　them　his　house；　and　the　Boare　where　it　hung。
They　perceyving　it　to　be　faire　and　fat；　knowing　also；　that
Calandrino　intended　to　salt　it　for　his　owne　store；　Bruno　saide　unto
him：　Thou　art　an　Asse　Calandrino；　sell　thy　Brawne；　and　let　us　make
merrie　with　the　money：　then　let　thy　wife　know　no　otherwise；　but　that
it　was　stolne　from　thee；　by　those　theeves　which　continually　haunt
country　houses；　especially　in　such　scattering　Villages。
　　Oh　mine　honest　friends；　answered　Calandrino；　your　counsell　is　not　to
be　followed；　neither　is　my　wife　so　easie　to　be　perswaded：　this　wer　the
readiest　way　to　make　your　house　a　hell；　and　she　to　become　the　Master
Divell：　therefore　talke　no　further；　for　flatly　I　will　not　doe　it。
Albeit　they　laboured　him　very　earnestly；　yet　all　proved　not　to　anie
purpose：　onely　he　desired　them　to　suppe　with　him；　but　in　so　colde　a
manner；　as　they　denyed　him；　and　parted　thence　from　him。　As　they　walked
on　the　way；　Bruno　saide　to　Buffalmaco。　Shall　we　three　（this　night）　rob
him　of　his　Brawne？　Yea　marry　（quoth　Buffalmaco）　how　is　it　to　be
done？　I　have　（saide　Bruno）　alreadie　found　the　meanes　to　effect　it；
if　he　take　it　not　from　the　place　where　last　we　saw　it。　Let　us　doe　it
then　（answered　Buffalmaco）　why　should　we　not　do　it？　Sir　Domine　heere
and　we；　will　make　good　cheare　with　it　among　our　selves。　The　nimble
Priest　was　as　forward　as　the　best；　and　the　match　being　fully　agreed
on；　Bruno　thus　spake。　My　delicate　Sir　Domine；　Art　and　cunning　must
be　our　maine　helps：　for　thou　knowest　Buffalmaco；　what　a　covetous
wretch　Calandrino　is；　glad　and　readie　to　drink　alwaies　on　other　mens
expences：　let　us　go　take　him　with　us　to　the　Tavern；　where　the　Priest
（for　his　owne　honour　and　reputation）　shall　offer　to　make　paiment　of
the　whole　reckoning；　without　receiving　a　farthing　of　his；　whereof　he
will　not　be　a　little　joyfull；　so　shall　we　bring　to　passe　the　rest　of
the　businesse；　because　there　is　no　body　in　the　house；　but　onely
himselfe：　for　he　is　best　at　ease　without　company。
　　As　Bruno　had　propounded；　so　was　it　accordingly　performed；　and　when
Calandrino　perceyved；　that　the　Priest　would　suffer　none　to　pay；　but
himselfe；　he　dranke　the　more　freely；　and　whe