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第29章

the patchwork girl of oz-第29章

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〃All right;〃 said Scraps。 〃I'll wait; if Diksey



isn't too long。〃







〃No; he's short; he's shorter than I am。 Ha;



ha; ha! Say! that's a better joke than Diksey's。



He won't be too long; because he's short。 Hee;



hee; ho!〃







The other Horners who were standing by roared



with laughter and seemed to like their Chief's



joke as much as he did。 Scraps thought it was odd



that they could be so easily amused; but decided



there could be little harm in people who laughed



so merrily。



















Chapter Twenty…Three







Peace Is Declared











〃Come with me to my dwelling and I'll introduce



you to my daughters;〃 said the Chief。 〃We're



bringing them up according to a book of rules that



was written by one of our leading old bachelors;



and everyone says they're a remarkable lot of girls。〃







So Scraps accompanied him along the street to a



house that seemed on the outside exceptionally



grimy and dingy。 The streets of this city were not



paved nor had any attempt been made to beautify



the houses or their surroundings; and having



noticed this condition Scraps was astonished when



the Chief ushered her into his home。







Here was nothing grimy or faded; indeed。 On the



contrary; the room was of dazzling brilliance and



beauty; for it was lined throughout with an



exquisite metal that resembled translucent frosted



silver。 The surface of this metal was highly



ornamented in raised designs representing men;



animals; flowers and trees; and from the metal



itself was radiated the soft light which flooded



the room。 All the furniture was made of the same



glorious metal; and Scraps asked what it was。







〃That's radium;〃 answered the Chief。 〃We



Horners spend all our time digging radium from



the mines under this mountain; and we use it



to decorate our homes and make them pretty and



cosy。 It is a medicine; too; and no one can ever



be sick who lives near radium。〃







〃Have you plenty of it?〃 asked the Patchwork



Girl。







〃More than we can use。 All the houses in this



city are decorated with it; just the same as mine



is。〃







don't you use it on your streets; then;



and the outside of your houses; to make them as



pretty as they are within?〃 she inquired。







〃Outside? Who cares for the outside of



anything?〃 asked the Chief。 〃We Horners don't live



on the outside of our homes; we live inside。 Many



people are like those stupid Hoppers; who love to



make an outside show。 I suppose you strangers



thought their city more beautiful than ours;



because you judged from appearances and they have



handsome marble houses and marble streets; but if



you entered one of their stiff dwellings you would



find it bare and uncomfortable; as all their show



is on the outside。 They have an idea that what is



not seen by others is not important; but with us



the rooms we live in are our chief delight and



care; and we pay no attention to outside show。〃







〃Seems to me;〃 said Scraps; musingly; 〃it



would be better to make it all prettyinside



and out。〃







〃Seems? Why; you're all seams; my girl!〃 said



the Chief; and then he laughed heartily at his



latest joke and a chorus of small voices echoed



the chorus with 〃tee…hee…hee! ha; ha!〃







Scraps turned around and found a row of



girls seated in radium chairs ranged along one



wall of the room。 There were nineteen of them;



by actual count; and they were of all sizes from



a tiny child to one almost a grown woman。 All



were neatly dressed in spotless white robes and



had brown skins; horns on their foreheads and



threecolored hair。







〃These;〃 said the Chief; 〃are my sweet



daughters。 My dears; I introduce to you Miss



Scraps Patchwork; a lady who is traveling in



foreign parts to increase her store of wisdom。〃







The nineteen Horner girls all arose and made



a polite curtsey; after which they resumed their



seats and rearranged their robes properly。







〃Why do they sit so still; and all in a row?〃



asked Scraps。







〃Because it is ladylike and proper;〃 replied the



Chief。







〃But some are just children; poor things!



Don't they ever run around and play and laugh;



and have a good time?〃







〃No; indeed;〃 said the Chief。 〃That would he



improper in young ladies; as well as in those who



will sometime become young ladies。 My daughters



are being brought up according to the rules and



regulations laid down by a leading bachelor who



has given the subject much study and is himself a



man of taste and culture。 Politeness is his great



hobby; and he claims that if a child is allowed to



do an impolite thing one cannot expect the grown



person to do anything better。〃







〃Is it impolite to romp and shout and be jolly?〃



asked Scraps。







〃Well; sometimes it is; and sometimes it isn't;〃



replied the Horner; after considering the



question。 〃By curbing such inclinations in my



daughters we keep on the safe side。 Once in a



while I make a good joke; as you have heard; and



then I permit my daughters to laugh decorously;



but they are never allowed to make a joke



themselves。〃







〃That old bachelor who made the rules ought



to be skinned alive!〃 declared Scraps; and would



have said more on the subject had not the door



opened to admit a little Horner man whom the



Chief introduced as Diksey。







〃What's up; Chief?〃 asked Diksey; winking



nineteen times at the nineteen girls; who demurely



cast down their eyes because their father was



looking。







The Chief told the man that his joke had not



been understood by the dull Hoppers; who had



become so angry that they had declared war。 So the



only way to avoid a terrible battle was to explain



the joke so they could understand it。







〃All right;〃 replied Diksey; who seemed a good…



natured man; 〃I'll go at once to the fence and



explain。 I don't want any war with the Hoppers;



for wars between nations always cause hard



feelings。〃







So the Chief and Diksey and Scraps left the



house and went back to the marble picket fence。



The Scarecrow was still stuck on the top of his



picket but had now ceased to struggle。 On the



other side of the fence were Dorothy and Ojo;



looking between the pickets; and there; also;



were the Champion and many other Hoppers。







Diksey went close to the fence and said:







〃My good Hoppers; I wish to explain that



what I said about you was a joke。 You have but



one leg each; and we have two legs each。 Our



legs are under us; whether one or two; and we



stand on them。 So; when I said you had less



understanding than we; I did not mean that you



had less understanding; you understand; but



that you had less standundering; so to speak。



Do you understand that?〃







The Hoppers thought it over carefully。 Then one



said:







〃That is clear enough; but where does the joke



come in?'〃







Dorothy laughed; for she couldn't help it;



although all the others were solemn enough。







〃I'll tell you where the joke comes in;〃 she



said; and took the Hoppers away to a distance;



where the Horners could not hear them。 〃You know;〃



she then explained; 〃those neighbors of yours are



not very bright; poor things; and what they think



is a joke isn't a joke at allit's true; don't



you see?〃







〃True that we have less understanding?〃 asked



the Champion。







〃Yes; it's true because you don't understand



such a poor joke; if you did; you'd be no wiser



than they are。〃







〃Ah; yes; of course;〃 they answered; looking



very wise。







〃So I'll tell you what to do;〃 continued



Dorothy。 〃Laugh at their poor joke and tell 'em



it's pretty good for a Horner。 Then they won't



dare say you have less understanding; because you



understand as much as they do。〃







The Hoppers looked at one another questioningly



and blinked their eyes and tried to think what it



all meant; but they couldn't figure it out。







〃What do you think; Champion?〃 asked one of



them。







〃I think it is dangerous to think of this thing



any more than we can help;〃 he replied。 〃Let us do



as this girl says and laugh with the Horners; so



as to make them believe we see the joke。 Then



there will be peace again and no need to fight。〃







They readily agreed to this and returned to



the fence laughing as loud and as hard as they



could; although they didn't feel like laughing



a bit。 The Horners were much surprised。







〃That's a fine jokefor a Hornerand we are



much pleased with it;〃 said the Champion; speaking



between the pickets。 〃But please don't do it



again。〃







〃I won't;〃 promised Diksey。 〃If I think of



another such joke I'll try to forget it。〃







〃Good!〃 cried the Chief Horner。 〃The war is over



and peace is declared。〃







There was much joyful shouting on both sides of



the fence and the gate was unlocked and thrown



wide open; so that Scraps was able to rejoin her



friends。







〃What about the Scarecrow?〃 she asked Dorothy。







〃We must get him down; somehow or other;〃 was



the reply。







〃Perhaps the Horners can find a way;〃 suggested



Ojo。 So they all went through the gate and Dorothy



asked the Chief Horner how they could get the



Scarecrow off the fence。 The Chief didn't know



how; but Diksey said:







〃A ladder's the thing。〃







〃Have you one?〃 asked Dorothy。







〃To be sure。 We use ladders in our mines;〃



said he。 Then he ran away to get the ladder;



and while he was gone the Horners gathered



around and welcomed the strangers to their



country; for through them a great war had been



avoided。







In a little while Diksey came back with a



tall ladder which he placed against the fence。 Ojo



at once climbed to the top of the ladder and



Dorothy went about halfway up and Scraps stood at



the foot of it。 Toto ran around it and barked。



Then Ojo pulled the Scarecrow away from the picket



and passed him down to Dorothy; who in turn



lowered him to the Patchwork Girl。







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