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第9章

the patchwork girl of oz-第9章

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Ojo。







〃Wait a minute;〃 cried Scraps。 〃This music



thing interests me。 I remember to have heard



music when I first came to life; and I would like



to hear it again。 What is your name; my poor



abused phonograph?〃







〃Victor Columbia Edison;〃 it answered。







〃Well; I shall call you 'Vic' for short;〃 said



the Patchwork Girl。 〃Go ahead and play something。〃







〃It'll drive you crazy;〃 warned the cat。







〃I'm crazy now; according to your statement。



Loosen up and reel out the music; Vic。〃







〃The only record I have with me;〃 explained



the phonograph; 〃is one the Magician attached



just before we had our quarrel。 It's a highly



classical composition。〃







〃A what?〃 inquired Scraps。







〃It is classical music; and is considered the



best and most puzzling ever manufactured。



You're supposed to like it; whether you do or



not; and if you don't; the proper thing is to look



as if you did。 Understand?〃







〃Not in the least;〃 said Scraps。







〃Then; listen!〃







At once the machine began to play and in a



few minutes Ojo put his hands to his ears to



shut out the sounds and the cat snarled and



Scraps began to Jaugh。







〃Cut it out; Vic;〃 she said。 〃That's enough。〃







But the phonograph continued playing the dreary



tune; so Ojo seized the crank; jerked it free and



threw it into the road。 However; the moment the



crank struck the ground it hounded back to the



machine again and began winding it up。 And still



the music played。







〃Let's run!〃 cried Scraps; and they all started



and ran down the path as fast as they could go。



But the phonograph was right behind them



and could run and play at the same time。 It



called out; reproachfully:







〃What's the matter? Don't you love classical



music?〃







〃No; Vic;〃 said Scraps; halting。 〃We will



passical the classical and preserve what joy we



have left。 I haven't any nerves; thank goodness;



but your music makes my cotton shrink。〃







〃Then turn over my record。 There's a rag…time



tune on the other side;〃 said the machine。







〃What's rag…time?〃







〃The opposite of classical。〃







〃All right;〃 said Scraps; and turned over the



record。







The phonograph now began to play a jerky jumble



of sounds which proved so bewildering that after a



moment Scraps stuffed her patchwork apron into the



gold horn and cried: 〃Stopstop! That's the other



extreme。 It's extremely bad!〃







Muffled as it was; the phonograph played on。







〃If you don't shut off that music I'll smash



your record;〃 threatened Ojo。







The music stopped; at that; and the machine



turned its horn from one to another and said



with great indignation:  〃What's the matter



now? Is it possible you can't appreciate rag…



time?〃







〃Scraps ought to; being rags herself;〃 said



the cat; 〃but I simply can't stand it; it makes



my whiskers curl。〃







〃It is; indeed; dreadful!〃 exclaimed Ojo; with



a shudder。







〃It's enough to drive a crazy lady mad;〃



murmured the Patchwork Girl。 〃I'll tell you what;



Vic;〃 she added as she smoothed out her apron and



put it on again; 〃for some reason or other you've



missed your guess。 You're not a concert; you're a



nuisance。 〃







〃Music hath charms to soothe the savage



breast;〃 asserted the phonograph sadly。







〃Then we're not savages。 I advise you to go



home and beg the Magician's pardon。〃







〃Never! He'd smash me。〃







〃That's what we shall do; if you stay here;〃



Ojo declared。







〃Run along; Vic; and bother some one else;〃



advised Scraps。 〃Find some one who is real



wicked; and stay with him till he repents。 In



that way you can do some good in the world。〃







The music thing turned silently away and



trotted down a side path; toward a distant



Munchkin village。







〃Is that the way we go?〃 asked Bungle anxiously。







〃No;〃 said Ojo; 〃I think we shall keep straight



ahead; for this path is the widest and best。



When we come to some house we will inquire



the way to the Emerald City。〃



















Chapter Eight







The foolish Owl and the Wise Donkey











On they went; and half an hour's steady walking



brought them to a house somewhat better than the



two they had already passed。 It stood close to the



roadside and over the door was a sign that read:



〃Miss Foolish Owl and Mr。 Wise Donkey:  Public



Advisers。〃







When Ojo read this sign aloud Scraps said



laughingly: 〃Well; here is a place to get all the



advice we want; maybe more than we need。 Let's go



in。〃







The boy knocked at the door。







〃Come in!〃 called a deep bass voice。







So they opened the door and entered the house;



where a little light…brown donkey; dressed in a



blue apron and a blue cap; was engaged in dusting



the furniture with a blue cloth。 On a shelf over



the window sat a great blue owl with a blue



sunbonnet on her head; blinking her big round



eyes at the visitors。







〃Good morning;〃 said the donkey; in his deep



voice; which seemed bigger than he was。 〃Did



you come to us for advice?〃







〃Why; we came; anyhow;〃 replied Scraps; 〃and now



we are here we may as well have some advice。 It's



free; isn't it?〃







〃Certainly;〃 said the donkey。 〃Advice doesn't



cost anythingunless you follow it。 Permit me to



say; by the way; that you are the queerest lot of



travelers that ever came to my shop。 Judging you



merely by appearances; I think you'd better talk



to the Foolish Owl yonder。〃







They turned to look at the bird; which fluttered



its wings and stared back at them with its big



eyes。







〃Hoot…ti…toot…ti…toot!〃 cried the owl。











〃Fiddle…cum…foo;



Howdy…do?



Riddle…cum; tiddle…cum;



Too…ra…la…loo!〃











〃That beats your poetry; Scraps;〃 said Ojo。







〃It's just nonsense!〃 declared the Glass Cat。







〃But it's good advice for the foolish;〃 said



the donkey; admiringly。 〃Listen to my partner;



and you can't go wrong。







Said the owl in a grumbling voice:











〃Patchwork Girl has come to life;



No one's sweetheart; no one's wife;



Lacking sense and loving fun;



She'll be snubbed by everyone。〃











〃Quite a compliment! Quite a compliment; I



declare;〃 exclaimed the donkey; turning to look at



Scraps。 〃You are certainly a wonder; my dear; and



I fancy you'd make a splendid pincushion。 If you



belonged to me; I'd wear smoked glasses when I



looked at you。〃







〃Why?〃 asked the Patchwork Girl。







〃Because you are so gay and gaudy。〃







〃It is my beauty that dazzles you;〃 she



asserted。 〃You Munchkin people all strut around in



your stupid blue color; while I〃







〃You are wrong in calling me a Munchkin;〃



interrupted the donkey; 〃for I was born in the



Land of Mo and came to visit the Land of Oz



on the day it was shut off from all the rest of



the world。 So here I am obliged to stay; and I



confess it is a very pleasant country to live in。〃







〃Hoot…ti…toot!〃 cried the owl;







〃Ojo's searching for a charm;



'Cause Unc Nunkie's come to harm。



Charms are scarce; they're hard to get;



Ojo's got a job; you bet!〃











〃Is the owl so very foolish?〃 asked the boy。







〃Extremely so;〃 replied the donkey。 〃Notice what



vulgar expressions she uses。 But I admire the owl



for the reason that she is positively foolish。



Owls are supposed to be so very wise; generally;



that a foolish one is unusual; and you perhaps



know that anything or anyone unusual is sure to be



interesting to the wise。〃







The owl flapped its wings again; muttering



these words:











〃It's hard to be a glassy cat



No cat can be more hard than that;



She's so transparent; every act



Is clear to us; and that's a fact。〃











〃Have you noticed my pink brains?〃 inquired



Bungle; proudly。 〃You can see 'em work。〃







〃Not in the daytime;〃 said the donkey。 〃She



can't see very well by day; poor thing。 But her



advice is excellent。 I advise you all to follow it。〃







〃The owl hasn't given us any advice; as yet;〃



the boy declared。







〃No? Then what do you call all those sweet



poems?〃







〃Just foolishness;〃 replied Ojo。 〃Scraps does



the same thing。〃







〃Foolishness! Of course! To be sure! The Foolish



Owl must be foolish or she wouldn't be the Foolish



Owl。 You are very complimentary to my partner;



indeed;〃 asserted the donkey; rubbing his front



hoofs together as if highly pleased。







〃The sign says that you are wise;〃 remarked



Scraps to the donkey。 〃I wish you would prove it。〃







〃With great pleasure;〃 returned the beast。



〃Put me to the test; my dear Patches; and I'll



prove my wisdom in the wink of an eye。







〃What is the best way to get to the Emerald



City?〃 asked Ojo。







〃Walk;〃 said the donkey。







〃I know; but what road shall I take?〃 was the



boy's next question。







〃The road of yellow bricks; of course。 It leads



directly to the Emerald City。〃







〃And how shall we find the road of yellow



bricks?〃







〃By keeping along the path you have been



following。 You'll come to the yellow bricks pretty



soon; and you'll know them when you see them



because they're the only yellow things in the



blue country。〃







〃Thank you;〃 said the boy。 〃At last you have



told me something。〃







〃Is that the extent of your wisdom?〃 asked



Scraps。







〃No;〃 replied the donkey; 〃I know many



other things; but they wouldn't interest you。



So I'll give you a last word of advice: move on;



for the sooner you do that the sooner you'll



get to the Emerald City of Oz。〃







〃Hoot…ti…toot…ti…toot…ti…too!〃 screeched the owl;











〃Off you go! fast or slow;



Where you're going you don't know。



Patches; Bungle; Muchkin lad;



Facing fortunes good and bad;



Meeting dangers grave and sad;



Sometimes worried; sometimes glad



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