3.harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban-第3章

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　　He　shot　a　nasty　look　sideways　at　Harry；　whose　untidy　hair　had　always　been　a　source　of　great　annoyance　to　Uncle　Vernon。　pared　to　the　man　on　the　television；　however；　whose　gaunt　face　was　surrounded　by　a　matted；　elbow…length　tangle；　Harry　felt　very　well　groomed　indeed。
　　The　reporter　had　reappeared。
　　〃The　Ministry　of　Agriculture　and　Fisheries　will　announce　today　〃
　　〃Hang　on！〃　barked　Uncle　Vernon；　staring　furiously　at　the　reporter。　〃You　didn't　tell　us　where　that　maniac's　escaped　from！　What　use　is　that？　Lunatic　could　be　ing　up　the　street　right　now！〃
　　Aunt　Petunia；　who　was　bony　and　horse…faced；　whipped　around　and　peered　intently　out　of　the　kitchen　window。　Harry　knew　Aunt　Petunia　would　simply　love　to　be　the　one　to　call　the　hot　line　number。　She　was　the　nosiest　woman　in　the　world　and　spent　most　of　her　life　spying　on　the　boring；　law…abiding　neighbors。
　　〃When　will　they　learn；〃　said　Uncle　Vernon；　pounding　the　table　with　his　large　purple　fist；　〃that　hanging's　the　only　way　to　deal　with　these　people？〃
　　〃Very　true；〃　said　Aunt　Petunia；　who　was　still　squinting　into　next　door's　runner　beans。
　　Uncle　Vernon　drained　his　teacup；　glanced　at　his　watch；　and　added；　〃I'd　better　be　off　in　a　minute；　Petunia。　Marge's　train　gets　in　at　ten。〃
　　Harry；　whose　thoughts　had　been　upstairs　with　the　Broomstick　Servicing　Kit；　was　brought　back　to　earth　with　an　unpleasant　bump。
　　〃Aunt　Marge？〃　he　blurted　out。　〃Sh　　she's　not　ing　here；　is　she？〃
　　Aunt　Marge　was　Uncle　Vernon's　sister。　Even　though　she　was　not　a　blood　relative　of　Harry's　（whose　mother　had　been　Aunt　Petunia's　sister）；　he　had　been　forced　to　call　her　〃Aunt〃　all　his　life。　Aunt　Marge　lived　in　the　country；　in　a　house　with　a　large　garden；　where　she　bred　bulldogs。　She　didn't　often　stay　at　Privet　Drive；　because　she　couldn't　bear　to　leave　her　precious　dogs；　but　each　of　her　visits　stood　out　horribly　vividly　in　Harry's　mind。
　　At　Dudley's　fifth　birthday　party；　Aunt　Margo　had　whacked　Harry　around　the　shins　with　her　walking　stick　to　stop　him　from　beating　Dudley　at　musical　statues。　A　few　years　later；　she　had　turned　up　at　Christmas　with　a　puterized　robot　for　Dudley　and　a　box　of　dog　biscuits　for　Harry。　On　her　last　visit；　the　year　before　Harry　started　at　Hogwarts；　Harry　had　accidentally　trodden　on　the　tail　of　her　favorite　dog。　Ripper　had　chased　Harry　out　into　the　garden　and　up　a　tree；　and　Aunt　Marge　had　refused　to　call　him　off　until　past　midnight。　The　memory　of　this　incident　still　brought　tears　of　laughter　to　Dudley's　eyes。
　　〃Marge'll　be　here　for　a　week；〃　Uncle　Vernon　snarled；　11　and　while　we're　on　the　subject〃　　he　pointed　a　fat　finger　threateningly　at　Harry　　〃we　need　to　get　a　few　things　straight　before　I　go　and　collect　her。〃
　　Dudley　smirked　and　withdrew　his　gaze　from　the　television。　Watching　Harry　being　bullied　by　Uncle　Vernon　was　Dudley's　favorite　form　of　entertainment。
　　〃Firstly；〃　growled　Uncle　Vernon；　〃you'll　keep　a　civil　tongue　in　your　head　when　you're　talking　to　Marge。〃
　　〃All　right；〃　said　Harry　bitterly；　〃if　she　does　when　she's　talking　to　me。
　　〃Secondly；〃　said　Uncle　Vernon；　acting　as　though　he　had　not　heard　Harry's　reply；　〃as　Marge　doesn't　know　anything　about　your　abnormality；　I　don't　want　any　　any　funny　stuff　while　she's　here。
　　You　behave　yourself；　got　me？〃
　　〃I　will　if　she　does；〃　said　Harry　through　gritted　teeth。
　　〃And　thirdly；〃　said　Uncle　Vernon；　his　mean　little　eyes　now　slits　in　his　great　purple　face；　〃we've　told　Marge　you　attend　St。　Brutus's　Secure　Center　for　Incurably　Criminal　Boys。〃
　　〃What？〃　Harry　yelled。
　　〃And　you'll　be　sticking　to　that　story；　boy；　or　there'll　be　trouble；　spat　Uncle　Vernon。
　　Harry　sat　there；　white…faced　and　furious；　staring　at　Uncle　Vernon；　hardly　able　to　believe　it。　Aunt　Marge　ing　for　a　weeklong　visit　　it　was　the　worst　birthday　present　the　Dursleys　had　ever　given　him；　including　that　pair　of　Uncle　Vernon's　old　socks。
　　〃Well；　Petunia；〃　said　Uncle　Vernon；　getting　heavily　to　his　feet；　〃I'll　be　off　to　the　station；　then。　Want　to　e　along　for　the　ride；　Dudders？〃
　　〃No；〃　said　Dudley；　whose　attention　had　returned　to　the　television　now　that　Uncle　Vernon　had　finished　threatening　Harry。
　　〃Duddy's　got　to　make　himself　smart　for　his　auntie；〃　said　Aunt　Petunia；　smoothing　Dudley's　thick　blond　hair。　〃Mummy's　bought　him　a　lovely　new　bow　tie。〃
　　Uncle　Vernon　clapped　Dudley　on　his　porky　shoulder。　〃See　you　in　a　bit；　then；〃　he　said；　and　he　left　the　kitchen。
　　Harry；　who　had　been　sitting　in　a　kind　of　horrified　trance；　had　a　sudden　idea。　Abandoning　his　toast；　he　got　quickly　to　his　feet　and　followed　Uncle　Vernon　to　the　front　door。
　　Uncle　Vernon　was　pulling　on　his　car　coat。
　　〃I'm　not　taking　you；〃　he　snarled　as　he　turned　to　see　Harry　watching　him。
　　〃Like　I　wanted　to　e；〃　said　Harry　coldly。　〃I　want　to　ask　you　something。〃
　　Uncle　Vernon　eyed　him　suspiciously。
　　〃Third　years　at　Hog　　at　my　school　are　allowed　to　visit　the　village　sometimes；〃　said　Harry。
　　〃So？〃　snapped　Uncle　Vernon；　taking　his　car　keys　from　a　hook　next　to　the　door。
　　〃I　need　you　to　sign　the　permission　form；〃　said　Harry　in　a　rush。
　　〃And　why　should　I　do　that？〃　sneered　Uncle　Vernon。
　　〃Well；〃　said　Harry；　choosing　his　words　carefully；　〃it'll　be　hard　work；　pretending　to　Aunt　Marge　I　go　to　that　St。　Whatsits　〃
　　〃St。　Brutus's　Secure　Center　for　Incurably　Criminal　Boys！〃　bellowed　Uncle　Vernon；　and　Harry　was　pleased　to　hear　a　definite　note　of　panic　in　Uncle　Vernon's　voice。
　　〃Exactly；〃　said　Harry；　looking　calmly　up　into　Uncle　Vernon's　large；　purple　face。　〃It's　a　lot　to　remember。　I'll　have　to　make　it　sound　convincing；　won't　I？　What　if　I　accidentally　let　something　slip？〃
　　〃You'll　get　the　stuffing　knocked　out　of　you；　won't　you？〃　roared　Uncle　Vernon；　advancing　on　Harry　with　his　fist　raised。　But　Harry　stood　his　ground。
　　〃Knocking　the　stuffing　out　of　me　won't　make　Aunt　Marge　forget　what　I　could　tell　her；〃　he　said　grimly。
　　Uncle　Vernon　stopped；　his　fist　still　raised；　his　face　an　ugly　puce。
　　〃But　if　you　sign　my　permission　form；〃　Harry　went　on　quickly；　〃I　swear　I'll　remember　where　I'm　supposed　to　go　to　school；　and　I'll　act　like　a　Mug　　like　I'm　normal　and　everything。〃
　　Harry　could　tell　that　Uncle　Vernon　was　thinking　it　over；　even　if　his　teeth　were　bared　and　a　vein　was　throbbing　in　his　temple。
　　〃Right；〃　he　snapped　finally。　〃I　shall　monitor　your　behavior　carefully　during　Marge's　visit。　If；　at　the　end　of　it；　you've　toed　the　line　and　kept　to　the　story；　I'll　sign　your　ruddy　form。〃
　　He　wheeled　around；　pulled　open　the　front　door；　and　slammed　it　so　hard　that　one　of　the　little　panes　of　glass　at　the　top　fell　out。
　　Harry　didn't　return　to　the　kitchen。　He　went　back　upstairs　to　his　bedroom。　If　he　was　going　to　act　like　a　real　Muggle；　he'd　better　start　now。　Slowly　and　sadly　he　gathered　up　all　his　presents　and　his　birthday　cards　and　hid　them　under　the　loose　floorboard　with　his　homework。　Then　he　went　to　Hedwig's　cage。　Errol　seemed　to　have　recovered；　he　and　Hedwig　were　both　asleep；　heads　under　their　wings。　Harry　sighed；　then　poked　them　both　awake。
　　〃Hedwig；〃　he　said　gloomily；　〃you're　going　to　have　to　clear　off　for　a　week。　Go　with　Errol。　Ron'll　look　after　you。　I'll　write　him　a　note；　explaining。　And　don't　look　at　me　like　that〃　　Hedwig's　large　amber　eyes　were　reproachful　　〃it's　not　my　fault。　It's　the　only　way　I'll　be　allowed　to　visit　Hogsmeade　with　Ron　and　Hermione。〃
　　Ten　minutes　later；　Errol　and　Hedwig　（who　had　a　note　to　Ron　bound　to　her　leg）　soared　out　of　the　window　and　out　of　sight。　Harry；　now　feeling　thoroughly　miserable；　put　the　empty　cage　away　inside　the　wardrobe。
　　But　Harry　didn't　have　long　to　brood。　In　next　to　no　time；　Aunt　Petunia　was　shrieking　up　the　stairs　for　Harry　to　e　down　and　get　ready　to　wele　their　guest。
　　〃Do　something　about　your　hair！〃　Aunt　Petunia　snapped　as　he　reached　the　hall。
　　Harry　couldn't　see　the　point　of　trying　to　make　his　hair　lie　flat。　Aunt　Marge　loved　criticizing　him；　so　the　untidier　he　looked；　the　happier　she　would　be。
　　All　too　soon；　there　was　a　crunch　of　gravel　outside　as　Uncle　Vernon's　car　pulled　back　into　the　driveway；　then　the　clunk　of　the　car　doors　and　footsteps　on　the　garden　path。
　　〃Get　the　door！〃　Aunt　Petunia　hissed　at　Harry。
　　A　feeling　of　great　gloom　in　his　stomach；　Harry　pulled　the　door　open。
　　On　the　threshold　stood　Aunt　Marge。　She　was　very　like　Uncle　Vernon：　large；　beefy；　and　purple…　faced；　she　even　had　a　mustache；　though　not　as　bushy　as　his。　In　one　hand　she　held　an　enormous　suitcase；　and　tucked　under　the　other　was　an　old　and　evil…tempered　bulldog。
　　〃Where's　my　Dudders？〃　roared　Aunt　Marge。　〃Where's　my　neffy…poo？〃
　　Dudley　came　waddling　down　the　hall；　his　blond　hair　plastered　flat　to　his　fat　head；　a　bow　tie　just　visible　under　his　many　chins。　Aunt　Marge　thrust　the　suitcase　into　Harry's　stomach；　knocking　the　wind　out　of　him；　seized　Dudley　in　a　tight　one…armed　hug；　and　planted　a　large　kiss　on　his　cheek。
　　Harry　knew　perfectly　well　that　Dudley　only　put　up　with　Aunt　Marge's　hugs　because　he　was　well　paid　for　it；　and　sure　enough；　when　they　broke　apart；　Dudley　had　a　crisp　twenty…pound　note　clutched　in　his　fat　fist。
　　〃Petunia！〃　shouted　Aunt　Marge；　striding　past　Harry　as　though　he　was　a　hat　stand。　Aunt　Marge　and　Aunt　Petunia　kissed；　or　rather；　Aunt　Marge　bumped　her　large　jaw　against　Aunt　Petunia's　bony　cheekbone。
　　Uncle　Vernon　now　came　in；　smiling　jovially　as　he　shut　the　door。
　　〃Tea；　Marge？〃　he　said。　〃And　what　will　Ripper　take？〃
　　〃Ripper　can　have　some　tea　out　of　my　saucer；〃　said　Aunt　Marge　as　they　all　proceeded　into　the　kitchen；　leaving　Harry　alone　in　the　hall　with　the　suitcase。　But　Harry　wasn't　plaining；　any　excuse　not　to　be　with　Aunt　Marge　was　fine　by　him；　so　he　began　to　heave　the　case　upstairs　into　the　spare　bedroom；　taking　as　long　as　he　could。
　　By　the　time　he　got　back　to　the　kitchen；　Aunt　Marge　had　been　supplied　with　tea　and　fruitcake；　and　Ripper　was　lapping　noisily　in　the　corner。　Harry　saw　Aunt　Petunia　wince　slightly　as　specks　of　tea　and　drool　flecked　her　clean　floor。　Aunt　Petunia　hated　animals。
　　〃Who's　looking　after　the　other　dogs；　Marge？〃　Uncle　Vernon　asked。
　　〃Oh；　I've　got　Colonel　Fubster　managing　them；〃　boomed　Aunt　Marge。　〃He's　retired　now；　good　for　him　to　have　something　to　do。　But　I　couldn't　leave　poor　old　Ripper。　He　pines　if　he's　away　from　me。〃
　　Ripper　began　to　growl　again　as　Harry　sat　down。　This　directed　Aunt　Marge's　attention　to　Harry　for　the　first　time。
　　〃So！〃　she　barked。　〃Still　here；　are　you？〃
　　〃Yes；〃　said　Harry。
　　〃Don't　you　say　yes'　in　that　ungrateful　tone；〃　Aunt　Marge　growled。　〃It's　damn　good　of　Vernon　and　Petunia　to　keep　you。　Wouldn't　have　done　it　myself。　You'd　have　gone　straight　to　an　orphanage　if　you'd　been　dumped　on　my　doorstep。〃
　　Harry　was　bursting　to　say　that　he'd　rather　live　in　an　orphanage　than　with　the　Dursleys；　but　the　thought　of　the　Hogsmeade　form　stopped　him。　He　forced　his　face　into　a　painful　smile。
　　〃Don't　you　smirk　at　me！〃　boomed　Aunt　Marge。　〃I　can　see　you　haven't　improved　since　I　last　saw　you。　I　hoped　school　would　knock　some　manners　into　you。〃　She　took　a　large　gulp　of　tea；　wiped　her　mustache；　and　said；　〃Where　is　it　that　you　send　him；　again；　Vernon？〃
　　〃St。　Brutus's；〃　said　Uncle　Vernon　promptly。　〃It's　a　first…rate　institution　for　hopeless　cases。〃
　　〃I　see；〃　said　Aunt　Marge。　〃Do　they　use　the