the life of charlotte bronte-1-第45章

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f…seeking；　vain；　empty　race。　　At　this　blessed　moment；　we　have　no　less　than　three　of　them　in　Haworth　parishand　there　is　not　one　to　mend　another。　　The　other　day；　they　all　three；　accompanied　by　Mr。　S。；　dropped；　or　rather　rushed；　in　unexpectedly　to　tea。　　It　was　Monday　（baking　day）；　and　I　was　hot　and　tired；　still；　if　they　had　behaved　quietly　and　decently；　I　would　have　served　them　out　their　tea　in　peace；　but　they　began　glorifying　themselves；　and　abusing　Dissenters　in　such　a　manner；　that　my　temper　lost　its　balance；　and　I　pronounced　a　few　sentences　sharply　and　rapidly；　which　struck　them　all　dumb。　　Papa　was　greatly　horrified　also；　but　I　don't　regret　it。〃


On　her　return　from　this　short　visit　to　her　friend；　she　travelled　with　a　gentleman　in　the　railway　carriage；　whose　features　and　bearing　betrayed　him；　in　a　moment；　to　be　a　Frenchman。　　She　ventured　to　ask　him　if　such　was　not　the　case；　and；　on　his　admitting　it；　she　further　inquired　if　he　had　not　passed　a　considerable　time　in　Germany；　and　was　answered　that　he　had；　her　quick　ear　detected　something　of　the　thick　guttural　pronunciation；　which；　Frenchmen　say；　they　are　able　to　discover　even　in　the　grandchildren　of　their　countrymen　who　have　lived　any　time　beyond　the　Rhine。　　Charlotte　had　retained　her　skill　in　the　language　by　the　habit　of　which　she　thus　speaks　to　M。　Heger：…


〃Je　crains　beaucoup　d'oublier　le　francaisj'apprends　tous　les　jours　une　demie　page　de　francais　par　coeur；　et　j'ai　grand　plaisir　e　apprendre　cette　lecon；　Veuillez　presenter　e　Madame　l'assurance　de　mon　estime；　je　crains　que　Maria…Louise　et　Claire　ne　m'aient　deje　oubliees；　mais　je　vous　reverrai　un　jour；　aussitot　que　j'aurais　gagne　assez　d'argent　pour　alter　e　Bruxelles；　j'y　irai。〃


And　so　her　journey　back　to　Haworth；　after　the　rare　pleasure　of　this　visit　to　her　friend；　was　pleasantly　beguiled　by　conversation　with　the　French　gentleman；　and　she　arrived　at　home　refreshed　and　happy。　　What　to　find　there？

It　was　ten　o'clock　when　she　reached　the　parsonage。　　Branwell　was　there；　unexpectedly；　very　ill。　　He　had　come　home　a　day　or　two　before；　apparently　for　a　holiday；　in　reality；　I　imagine；　because　some　discovery　had　been　made　which　rendered　his　absence　imperatively　desirable。　　The　day　of　Charlotte's　return；　he　had　received　a　letter　from　Mr。　…；　sternly　dismissing　him；　intimating　that　his　proceedings　were　discovered；　characterising　them　as　bad　beyond　expression；　and　charging　him；　on　pain　of　exposure；　to　break　off　immediately；　and　for　ever；　all　communication　with　every　member　of　the　family。

Whatever　may　have　been　the　nature　and　depth　of　Branwell's　sins；　whatever　may　have　been　his　temptation；　whatever　his　guilt；there　is　no　doubt　of　the　suffering　which　his　conduct　entailed　upon　his　poor　father　and　his　innocent　sisters。　　The　hopes　and　plans　they　had　cherished　long；　and　laboured　hard　to　fulfil；　were　cruelly　frustrated；　henceforward　their　days　were　embittered　and　the　natural　rest　of　their　nights　destroyed　by　his　paroxysms　of　remorse。　　Let　us　read　of　the　misery　caused　to　his　poor　sisters　in　Charlotte's　own　affecting　words：…


〃We　have　had　sad　work　with　Branwell。　　He　thought　of　nothing　but　stunning　or　drowning　his　agony　of　mind。　　No　one　in　this　house　could　have　rest；　and；　at　last；　we　have　been　obliged　to　send　him　from　home　for　a　week；　with　some　one　to　look　after　him。　　He　has　written　to　me　this　morning；　expressing　some　sense　of　contrition　。　。　。　but　as　long　as　he　remains　at　home；　I　scarce　dare　hope　for　peace　in　the　house。　　We　must　all；　I　fear；　prepare　for　a　season　of　distress　and　disquietude。　　When　I　left　you；　I　was　strongly　impressed　with　the　feeling　that　I　was　going　back　to　sorrow。〃

〃August；　1845。

〃Things　here　at　home　are　much　as　usual；　not　very　bright　as　it　regards　Branwell；　though　his　health；　and　consequently　his　temper；　have　been　somewhat　better　this　last　day　or　two；　because　he　is　now　FORCED　TO　abstain。〃

〃August　18th；　1845。

〃I　have　delayed　writing；　because　I　have　no　good　news　to　communicate。　　My　hopes　ebb　low　indeed　about　Branwell。　　I　sometimes　fear　he　will　never　be　fit　for　much。　　The　late　blow　to　his　prospects　and　feelings　has　quite　made　him　reckless。　　It　is　only　absolute　want　of　means　that　acts　as　any　check　to　him。　　One　ought；　indeed；　to　hope　to　the　very　last；　and　I　try　to　do　so；　but　occasionally　hope　in　his　case　seems　so　fallacious。〃

〃Nov。　4th；　1845。

〃I　hoped　to　be　able　to　ask　you　to　come　to　Haworth。　　It　almost　seemed　as　if　Branwell　had　a　chance　of　getting　employment；　and　I　waited　to　know　the　result　of　his　efforts　in　order　to　say；　dear　…；　come　and　see　us。　　But　the　place　（a　secretaryship　to　a　railway　committee）　is　given　to　another　person。　　Branwell　still　remains　at　home；　and　while　HE　is　here；　YOU　shall　not　come。　　I　am　more　confirmed　in　that　resolution　the　more　I　see　of　him。　　I　wish　I　could　say　one　word　to　you　in　his　favour；　but　I　cannot。　　I　will　hold　my　tongue。　　We　are　all　obliged　to　you　for　your　kind　suggestion　about　Leeds；　but　I　think　our　school　schemes　are；　for　the　present；　at　rest。〃

〃Dec。　31st；　1845。

〃You　say　well；　in　speaking　of　…；　that　no　sufferings　are　so　awful　as　those　brought　on　by　dissipation；　alas！　I　see　the　truth　of　this　observation　daily　proved。　andmust　have　as　weary　and　burdensome　a　life　of　it　in　waiting　upon　their　unhappy　brother。　　It　seems　grievous；　indeed；　that　those　who　have　not　sinned　should　suffer　so　largely。〃

In　fact；　all　their　latter　days　blighted　with　the　presence　of　cruel；　shameful　suffering；the　premature　deaths　of　two　at　least　of　the　sisters；all　the　great　possibilities　of　their　earthly　lives　snapped　short；may　be　dated　from　Midsummer　1845。

For　the　last　three　years　of　Branwell's　life；　he　took　opium　habitually；　by　way　of　stunning　conscience；　he　drank　moreover；　whenever　he　could　get　the　opportunity。　　The　reader　may　say　that　I　have　mentioned　his　tendency　to　intemperance　long　before。　　It　is　true；　but　it　did　not　become　habitual；　as　far　as　I　can　learn；　until　after　he　was　dismissed　from　his　tutorship。　　He　took　opium；　because　it　made　him　forget　for　a　time　more　effectually　than　drink；　and；　besides；　it　was　more　portable。　　In　procuring　it　he　showed　all　the　cunning　of　the　opium…eater。　　He　would　steal　out　while　the　family　were　at　churchto　which　he　had　professed　himself　too　ill　to　go　and　manage　to　cajole　the　village　druggist　out　of　a　lump；　or；　it　might　be；　the　carrier　had　unsuspiciously　brought　him　some　in　a　packet　from　a　distance。　　For　some　time　before　his　death　he　had　attacks　of　delirium　tremens　of　the　most　frightful　character；　he　slept　in　his　father's　room；　and　he　would　sometimes　declare　that　either　he　or　his　father　should　be　dead　before　the　morning。　　The　trembling　sisters；　sick　with　fright；　would　implore　their　father　not　to　expose　himself　to　this　danger；　but　Mr。　Bronte　is　no　timid　man；　and　perhaps　he　felt　that　he　could　possibly　influence　his　son　to　some　self…restraint；　more　by　showing　trust　in　him　than　by　showing　fear。　　The　sisters　often　listened　for　the　report　of　a　pistol　in　the　dead　of　the　night；　till　watchful　eye　and　hearkening　ear　grew　heavy　and　dull　with　the　perpetual　strain　upon　their　nerves。　　In　the　mornings　young　Bronte　would　saunter　out；　saying；　with　a　drunkard's　incontinence　of　speech；　〃The　poor　old　man　and　I　have　had　a　terrible　night　of　it；　he　does　his　bestthe　poor　old　man！　but　it's　all　over　with　me。〃



CHAPTER　XIV



In　the　course　of　this　sad　autumn　of　1845；　a　new　interest　came　up；　faint；　indeed；　and　often　lost　sight　of　in　the　vivid　pain　and　constant　pressure　of　anxiety　respecting　their　brother。　　In　the　biographical　notice　of　her　sisters；　which　Charlotte　prefixed　to　the　edition　of　〃Wuthering　Heights〃　and　〃Agnes　Grey；〃　published　in　1850a　piece　of　writing　unique；　as　far　as　I　know；　in　its　pathos　and　its　powershe　says：…


〃One　day　in　the　autumn　of　1845；　I　accidentally　lighted　on　a　MS。　volume　of　verse；　in　my　sister　Emily's　hand…writing。　　Of　course；　I　was　not　surprised；　knowing　that　she　could　and　did　write　verse：　　I　looked　it　over；　and　something　more　than　surprise　seized　mea　deep　conviction　that　these　were　not　common　effusions；　nor　at　all　like　the　poetry　women　generally　write。　　I　thought　them　condensed　and　terse；　vigorous　and　genuine。　　To　my　ear　they　had　also　a　peculiar　music；　wild；　melancholy；　and　elevating。　　My　sister　Emily　was　not　a　person　of　demonstrative　character；　nor　one　on　the　recesses　of　whose　mind　and　feelings　even　those　nearest　and　dearest　to　her　could；　with　impunity；　intrude　unlicensed：　　it　took　hours　to　reconcile　her　to　the　discovery　I　had　made；　and　days　to　persuade　her　that　such　poems　merited　publication　。　。　。　Meantime；　my　younger　sister　quietly　produced　some　of　her　own　compositions；　intimating　that　since　Emily's　had　given　me　pleasure；　I　might　like　to　look　at　hers。　　I　could　not　but　be　a　partial　judge；　yet　I　thought　that　these　verses　too　had　a　sweet　sincere　pathos　of　their　own。　　We　had　very　early　cherished　the　dream　of　one　day　being　authors。　　We　agreed　to　arrange　a　small　selection　of　our　poems；　and；　if　possible；　get　them　printed。　　Averse　to　personal　publicity；　we　veiled　our　own　names　under　those　of　Currer；　Ellis；　and　Acton　Bell；　the　ambiguous　choice　being　dictated　by　a　sort　of　conscientious　scruple　at　assuming　Christian　names；　positively　masculine；　while　we　did　not　like　to　declare　ourselves　women；　becausewithout　at　the　time　suspecting　that　our　mode　of　writing　and　thinking　was　not　what　is　called　'feminine；'　we　had　a　vague　impression　that　authoresses　are　liable　to　be　looked　on　with　prejudice；　we　noticed　how　critics　sometimes　use　for　their　chastisement　the　weapon　of　personality；　and　for　their　reward；　a　flattery；　which　is　not　true　praise。　　The　bringing　out　of　our　little　book　was　hard　work。　　As　was　to　be　expected；　neither　we　nor　our　poems　were　at　all　wanted；　but　for　this　we　had　been　prepared　at　the　outset；　though　inexperienced　ourselves；　we　had　read　the　experience　of　others。　The　great　puzzle　lay　in　the　difficulty　of　getting　answers　of　any　kind　from　the　publishers　to　whom　we　applied。　　Being　greatly　harassed　by　this　obstacle；　I　ventured　to　apply　to　the　Messrs。　Chambers；　of　Edinburgh；　for　a　word　of　advice；　THEY　may　have　forgotten　the　circumstance；　but　I　have　not；　for　from　them　I　received　a　brief　and　business…like；　but　civil　and　sensible　reply；　on　which　we　acted；　and　at　last　made　way。〃

I　inquired　from　Mr。　Robert　Chambers；　and　found；　as　Miss　Bronte　conjectured；　that　he　had　entirely　forgotten　the　application　which　had　been　made　to　him　and　his　brother　for　advice；　nor　had　they　any　copy　or　memorandum　of　the　correspondence。

There　is　an　intelligent　man　living　in　Haworth；　who　has　given　me　some　interesting　particulars　relating　to　the　sisters　about　this　period。　　He　says：…

〃I　have　known　Miss　Bronte；　as　Miss　Bronte；　a　long　time；　indeed；　ever　since　they　came　to　Haworth　in　1819。　　But　I　had　not　much　acquaintance　with　the　family　till　about　1843；　when　I　began　to　do　a　little　in　the　stationery　line。　　Nothing　of　that　kind　could　be　had　nearer　than　Keighley　before　I　began。　　They　used　to　buy　a　great　deal　of　writing　paper；　and　I　used　to　wonder　whatever　they　did　with　so　much。　　I　sometimes　thought　they　contributed　to　the　Magazines。　When　I　was　out　of　stock；　I　was　always　afraid　of　their　coming；　they　seemed　so　distressed　about　it；　if　I　had　none。　　I　have　walked　to　Halifax　（a　distance　of　ten　miles）　many　a　time；　for　half　a　ream　of　paper；　for　fear　of　being　without　it　when　they　came。　　I　could　not　buy　more　a