the works of edgar allan poe-3-第19章

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their　expressions；　with　idiotic　smiles；　and　uttering　the　most　absurd
platitudes。　At　intervals；　however；　they　would　appear　to　revive
suddenly；　as　if　inspired　all　at　once　with　a　consciousness　of　their
condition；　when　they　would　spring　upon　their　feet　in　a　momentary
flash　of　vigour；　and　speak；　for　a　short　period；　of　their　prospects；
in　a　manner　altogether　rational；　although　full　of　the　most　intense
despair。　It　is　possible；　however；　that　my　companions　may　have
entertained　the　same　opinion　of　their　own　condition　as　I　did　of　mine；
and　that　I　may　have　unwittingly　been　guilty　of　the　same　extravagances
and　imbecilities　as　themselves　　this　is　a　matter　which　cannot　be
determined。

　　　　About　noon　Parker　declared　that　he　saw　land　off　the　larboard
quarter；　and　it　was　with　the　utmost　difficulty　I　could　restrain　him
from　plunging　into　the　sea　with　the　view　of　swimming　toward　it。
Peters　and　Augustus　took　little　notice　of　what　he　said；　being
apparently　wrapped　up　in　moody　contemplation。　Upon　looking　in　the
direction　pointed　out；　I　could　not　perceive　the　faintest　appearance
of　the　shore　　indeed；　I　was　too　well　aware　that　we　were　far　from
any　land　to　indulge　in　a　hope　of　that　nature。　It　was　a　long　time；
nevertheless；　before　I　could　convince　Parker　of　his　mistake。　He　then
burst　into　a　flood　of　tears；　weeping　like　a　child；　with　loud　cries
and　sobs；　for　two　or　three　hours；　when　becoming　exhausted；　he　fell
asleep。

　　　　Peters　and　Augustus　now　made　several　ineffectual　efforts　to
swallow　portions　of　the　leather。　I　advised　them　to　chew　it　and　spit
it　out；　but　they　were　too　excessively　debilitated　to　be　able　to
follow　my　advice。　I　continued　to　chew　pieces　of　it　at　intervals；　and
found　some　relief　from　so　doing；　my　chief　distress　was　for　water；　and
I　was　only　prevented　from　taking　a　draught　from　the　sea　by
remembering　the　horrible　consequences　which　thus　have　resulted　to
others　who　were　similarly　situated　with　ourselves。

　　　　The　day　wore　on　in　this　manner；　when　I　suddenly　discovered　a　sail
to　the　eastward；　and　on　our　larboard　bow。　She　appeared　to　be　a　large
ship；　and　was　coming　nearly　athwart　us；　being　probably　twelve　or
fifteen　miles　distant。　None　of　my　companions　had　as　yet　discovered
her；　and　I　forbore　to　tell　them　of　her　for　the　present；　lest　we　might
again　be　disappointed　of　relief。　At　length　upon　her　getting　nearer；　I
saw　distinctly　that　she　was　heading　immediately　for　us；　with　her
light　sails　filled。　I　could　now　contain　myself　no　longer；　and　pointed
her　out　to　my　fellow…sufferers。　They　immediately　sprang　to　their
feet；　again　indulging　in　the　most　extravagant　demonstrations　of　joy；
weeping；　laughing　in　an　idiotic　manner；　jumping；　stamping　upon　the
deck；　tearing　their　hair；　and　praying　and　cursing　by　turns。　I　was　so
affected　by　their　conduct；　as　well　as　by　what　I　considered　a　sure
prospect　of　deliverance；　that　I　could　not　refrain　from　joining　in
with　their　madness；　and　gave　way　to　the　impulses　of　my　gratitude　and
ecstasy　by　lying　and　rolling　on　the　deck；　clapping　my　hands；
shouting；　and　other　similar　acts；　until　I　was　suddenly　called　to　my
recollection；　and　once　more　to　the　extreme　human　misery　and　despair；
by　perceiving　the　ship　all　at　once　with　her　stern　fully　presented
toward　us；　and　steering　in　a　direction　nearly　opposite　to　that　in
which　I　had　at　first　perceived　her。

　　　　It　was　some　time　before　I　could　induce　my　poor　companions　to
believe　that　this　sad　reverse　in　our　prospects　had　actually　taken
place。　They　replied　to　all　my　assertions　with　a　stare　and　a　gesture
implying　that　they　were　not　to　be　deceived　by　such
misrepresentations。　The　conduct　of　Augustus　most　sensibly　affected
me。　In　spite　of　all　I　could　say　or　do　to　the　contrary；　he　persisted
in　saying　that　the　ship　was　rapidly　nearing　us；　and　in　making
preparations　to　go　on　board　of　her。　Some　seaweed　floating　by　the
brig；　he　maintained　that　it　was　the　ship's　boat；　and　endeavoured　to
throw　himself　upon　it；　howling　and　shrieking　in　the　most　heartrending
manner；　when　I　forcibly　restrained　him　from　thus　casting　himself　into
the　sea。

　　　　Having　become　in　some　degree　pacified；　we　continued　to　watch　the
ship　until　we　finally　lost　sight　of　her；　the　weather　becoming　hazy；
with　a　light　breeze　springing　up。　As　soon　as　she　was　entirely　gone；
Parker　turned　suddenly　toward　me　with　an　expression　of　countenance
which　made　me　shudder。　There　was　about　him　an　air　of　self…possession
which　I　had　not　noticed　in　him　until　now；　and　before　he　opened　his
lips　my　heart　told　me　what　he　would　say。　He　proposed；　in　a　few　words；
that　one　of　us　should　die　to　preserve　the　existence　of　the　others。

~~~　End　of　Text　of　Chapter　11　~~~

CHAPTER　12



　　　　I　had　for　some　time　past；　dwelt　upon　the　prospect　of　our　being
reduced　to　this　last　horrible　extremity；　and　had　secretly　made　up　my
mind　to　suffer　death　in　any　shape　or　under　any　circumstances　rather
than　resort　to　such　a　course。　Nor　was　this　resolution　in　any　degree
weakened　by　the　present　intensity　of　hunger　under　which　I　laboured。
The　proposition　had　not　been　heard　by　either　Peters　or　Augustus。　I
therefore　took　Parker　aside；　and　mentally　praying　to　God　for　power　to
dissuade　him　from　the　horrible　purpose　he　entertained；　I　expostulated
with　him　for　a　long　time；　and　in　the　most　supplicating　manner；
begging　him　in　the　name　of　every　thing　which　he　held　sacred；　and
urging　him　by　every　species　of　argument　which　the　extremity　of　the
case　suggested；　to　abandon　the　idea；　and　not　to　mention　it　to　either
of　the　other　two。

　　　　He　heard　all　I　said　without　attempting　to　controvert　any　of　my
arguments；　and　I　had　begun　to　hope　that　he　would　be　prevailed　upon　to
do　as　I　desired。　But　when　I　had　ceased　speaking；　he　said　that　he　knew
very　well　all　I　had　said　was　true；　and　that　to　resort　to　such　a
course　was　the　most　horrible　alternative　which　could　enter　into　the
mind　of　man；　but　that　he　had　now　held　out　as　long　as　human　nature
could　be　sustained；　that　it　was　unnecessary　for　all　to　perish；　when；
by　the　death　of　one；　it　was　possible；　and　even　probable；　that　the
rest　might　be　finally　preserved；　adding　that　I　might　save　myself　the
trouble　of　trying　to　turn　him　from　his　purpose；　his　mind　having　been
thoroughly　made　up　on　the　subject　even　before　the　appearance　of　the
ship；　and　that　only　her　heaving　in　sight　had　prevented　him　from
mentioning　his　intention　at　an　earlier　period。

　　　　I　now　begged　him；　if　he　would　not　be　prevailed　upon　to　abandon
his　design；　at　least　to　defer　it　for　another　day；　when　some　vessel
might　come　to　our　relief；　again　reiterating　every　argument　I　could
devise；　and　which　I　thought　likely　to　have　influence　with　one　of　his
rough　nature。　He　said；　in　reply；　that　he　had　not　spoken　until　the
very　last　possible　moment；　that　he　could　exist　no　longer　without
sustenance　of　some　kind；　and　that　therefore　in　another　day　his
suggestion　would　be　too　late；　as　regarded　himself　at　least。

　　　　Finding　that　he　was　not　to　be　moved　by　anything　I　could　say　in　a
mild　tone；　I　now　assumed　a　different　demeanor；　and　told　him　that　he
must　be　aware　I　had　suffered　less　than　any　of　us　from　our　calamities；
that　my　health　and　strength；　consequently；　were　at　that　moment　far
better　than　his　own；　or　than　that　either　of　Peters　or　Augustus；　in
short；　that　I　was　in　a　condition　to　have　my　own　way　by　force　if　I
found　it　necessary；　and　that　if　he　attempted　in　any　manner　to
acquaint　the　others　with　his　bloody　and　cannibal　designs；　I　would　not
hesitate　to　throw　him　into　the　sea。　Upon　this　he　immediately　seized
me　by　the　throat；　and　drawing　a　knife；　made　several　ineffectual
efforts　to　stab　me　in　the　stomach；　an　atrocity　which　his　excessive
debility　alone　prevented　him　from　accomplishing。　In　the　meantime；
being　roused　to　a　high　pitch　of　anger；　I　forced　him　to　the　vessel's
side；　with　the　full　intention　of　throwing　him　overboard。　He　was　saved
from　his　fate；　however；　by　the　interference　of　Peters；　who　now
approached　and　separated　us；　asking　the　cause　of　the　disturbance。
This　Parker　told　before　I　could　find　means　in　any　manner　to　prevent
him。

　　　　The　effect　of　his　words　was　even　more　terrible　than　what　I　had
anticipated。　Both　Augustus　and　Peters；　who；　it　seems；　had　long
secretly　entertained　the　same　fearful　idea　which　Parker　had　been
merely　the　first　to　broach；　joined　with　him　in　his　design　and
insisted　upon　its　immediately　being　carried　into　effect。　I　had
calculated　that　one　at　least　of　the　two　former　would　be　found　still
possessed　of　sufficient　strength　of　mind　to　side　with　myself　in
resisting　any　attempt　to　execute　so　dreadful　a　purpose；　and；　with　the
aid　of　either　one　of　them；　I　had　no　fear　of　being　able　to　prevent　its
accomplishment。　Being　disappointed　in　this　expectation；　it　became
absolutely　necessary　that　I　should　attend　to　my　own　safety；　as　a
further　resistance　on　my　part　might　possibly　be　considered　by　men　in
their　frightful　condition　a　sufficient　excuse　for　refusing　me　fair
play　in　the　tragedy　that　I　knew　would　speedily　be　enacted。

　　　　I　now　told　them　I　was　willing　to　submit　to　the　proposal；　merely
requesting　a　delay　of　about　one　hour；　in　order　that　the　fog　which　had
gathered　around　us　might　have　an　opportunity　of　lifting；　when　it　was
possible　that　the　ship　we　had　seen　might　be　again　in　sight。　After
great　difficulty　I　obtained　from　them　a　promise　to　wait　thus　long；
and；　as　I　had　anticipated　（a　breeze　rapidly　coming　in）；　the　fog
lifted　before　the　hour　had　expired；　when；　no　vessel　appearing　in
sight；　we　prepared　to　draw　lots。

　　　　It　is　with　extreme　reluctance　that　I　dwell　upon　the　appalling
scene　which　ensued；　a　scene　which；　with　its　minutest　details；　no
after　events　have　been　able　to　efface　in　the　slightest　degree　from　my
memory；　and　whose　stern　recollection　will　embitter　every　future
moment　of　my　existence。　Let　me　run　over　this　portion　of　my　narrative
with　as　much　haste　as　the　nature　of　the　events　to　be　spoken　of　will
permit。　The　only　method　we　could　devise　for　the　terrific　lottery；　in
which　we　were　to　take　each　a　chance；　was　that　of　drawing　straws。
Small　splinters　of　wood　were　made　to　answer　our　purpose；　and　it　was
agreed　that　I　should　be　the　holder。　I　retired　to　one　end　of　the　hulk；
while　my　poor　companions　silently　took　up　their　station　in　the　other
with　their　backs　turned　toward　me。　The　bitterest　anxiety　which　I
endured　at　any　period　of　this　fearful　drama　was　while　I　occupied
myself　in　the　arrangement　of　the　lots。　There　are　few　conditions　into
which　man　can　possibly　fall　where　he　will　not　feel　a　deep　interest　in
the　preservation　of　his　existence；　an　interest　momentarily　increasing
with　the　frailness　of　the　tenure　by　which　that　existence　may　be　held。
But　now　that　the　silent；　definite；　and　stern　nature　of　the　business
in　which　I　was　engaged　（so　different　from　the　tumultuous　dangers　of
the　storm　or　the　gradually　approaching　horrors　of　famine）　allowed　me
to　reflect　on　the　few　chances　I　had　of　escaping　the　most　appalling　of
deaths…　a　death　for　the　most　appalling　of　purposes…　every　particle　of
that　energy　which　had　so　long　buoyed　me　up　departed　like　feathers
before　the　wind；　leaving　me　a　helpless　prey　to　the　most　abject　and
pitiable　terror。　I　could　not；　at　first；　even　summon　up　sufficient
strength　to　tear　and　fit　together　the　small　splinters　of　wood；