the story of an african farm-第34章

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her　she　said；　'No　thank　you：　　I　can　manage　them　myself。　　I've　got　a　pair　of

bits　that　would　break　their　jaws　if　I　used　them　well；'　and　she　laughed　and

drove　away。　　It's　so　unwomanly。



〃Tell　father　my　hire　of　the　ground　will　not　be　out　for　six　months；　and

before　that　Em　and　I　will　be　married。　　My　pair　of　birds　is　breeding　now；

but　I　haven't　been　down　to　see　them　for　three　days。　　I　don't　seem　to　care

about　anything　any　more。　　I　don't　know　what　it　is；　I'm　not　well。　　If　I　go

into　town　on　Saturday　I　will　let　the　doctor　examine　me；　but　perhaps　she'll

go　in　herself。　　It's　a　very　strange　thing；　Jemima；　but　she　never　will　send

her　letters　to　post　by　me。　　If　I　ask　her　she　has　none；　and　the　very　next

day　she　goes　in　and　posts　them　herself。　　You　mustn't　say　anything　about　it；

Jemima；　but　twice　I've　brought　her　letters　from　the　post　in　a　gentleman's

hand；　and　I'm　sure　they　were　both　from　the　same　person；　because　I　noticed

every　little　mark；　even　the　dotting　of　the　i's。



〃Of　course　it's　nothing　to　me；　but　for　Em's　sake　I　can't　help　feeling　an

interest　in　her；　however　much　I　may　dislike　her　myself；　and　I　hope　she's　up

to　nothing。　　I　pity　the　man　who　marries　her；　I　wouldn't　be　him　for

anything。　　If　I　had　a　wife　with　pride　I'd　make　her　give　it　up；　sharp。　　I

don't　believe　in　a　man　who　can't　make　a　woman　obey　him。　　Now　EmI'm　very

fond　of　her；　as　you　knowbut　if　I　tell　her　to　put　on　a　certain　dress；　that

dress　she　puts　on；　and　if　I　tell　her　to　sit　on　a　certain　seat；　on　that　seat

she　sits；　and　if　I　tell　her　not　to　speak　to　a　certain　individual；　she　does

not　speak　to　them。　　If　a　man　lets　a　woman　do　what　he　doesn't　like　he's　a

muff。



〃Give　my　love　to　mother　and　the　children。　　The　veld　here　is　looking　pretty

good；　and　the　sheep　are　better　since　we　washed　them。　　Tell　father　the　dip

he　recommended　is　very　good。



〃Em　sends　her　love　to　you。　　She　is　making　me　some　woollen　shirts；　but　they

don't　fit　me　so　nicely　as　those　mother　made　me。



〃Write　soon　to



〃Your　loving　brother；　　Gregory。



〃P。S。She　drove　past　just　now；　I　was　sitting　on　the　kraal　wall　right

before　her　eyes；　and　she　never　even　bowed。　　G。N。R。〃





Chapter　2。VI。　　A　Boer…wedding。



〃I　didn't　know　before　you　were　so　fond　of　riding　hard；〃　said　Gregory　to　his

little　betrothed。



They　were　cantering　slowly　on　the　road　to　Oom　Muller's　on　the　morning　of

the　wedding。



〃Do　you　call　this　riding　hard？〃　asked　Em　in　some　astonishment。



〃Of　course　I　do！　　It's　enough　to　break　the　horses'　necks；　and　knock　one　up

for　the　whole　day　besides；〃　he　added　testily；　then　twisted　his　head　to　look

at　the　buggy　that　came　on　behind。　　〃I　thought　Waldo　was　such　a　mad　driver；

they　are　taking　it　easily　enough　today；〃　said　Gregory。　　〃One　would　think

the　black　stallions　were　lame。〃



〃I　suppose　they　want　to　keep　out　of　our　dust；〃　said　Em。　　〃See；　they　stand

still　as　soon　as　we　do。〃



Perceiving　this　to　be　the　case；　Gregory　rode　on。



〃It's　all　that　horse　of　yours：　　she　kicks　up　such　a　confounded　dust；　I

can't　stand　it　myself；〃　he　said。



Meanwhile　the　cart　came　on　slowly　enough。



〃Take　the　reins；〃　said　Lyndall；　and　〃and　make　them　walk。　　I　want　to　rest

and　watch　their　hoofs　todaynot　to　be　exhilarated；　I　am　so　tired。〃



She　leaned　back　in　her　corner；　and　Waldo　drove　on　slowly　in　the　grey　dawn

light　along　the　level　road。　　They　passed　the　very　milk…bush　behind　which　so

many　years　before　the　old　German　had　found　the　Kaffer　woman。　　But　their

thoughts　were　not　with　him　that　morning：　　they　were　the　thoughts　of　the

young；　that　run　out　to　meet　the　future；　and　labour　in　the　present。　　At　last

he　touched　her　arm。



〃What　is　it？〃



〃I　feared　you　had　gone　to　sleep　and　might　be　jolted　out；〃　he　said；　〃you　sat

so　quietly。〃



〃No；　do　not　talk　to　me；　I　am　not　asleep；〃　but　after　a　time　she　said

suddenly：　　〃It　must　be　a　terrible　thing　to　bring　a　human　being　into　the

world。〃



Waldo　looked　round；　she　sat　drawn　into　the　corner；　her　blue　cloud　wound

tightly　about　her；　and　she　still　watched　the　horses'　feet。　　Having　no

comment　to　offer　on　her　somewhat　unexpected　remark；　he　merely　touched　up

his　horses。



〃I　have　no　conscience；　none；〃　she　added；　〃but　I　would　not　like　to　bring　a

soul　into　this　world。　　When　it　sinned　and　when　it　suffered　something　like　a

dead　hand　would　fall　on　me'You　did　it；　you；　for　your　own　pleasure　you

created　this　thing！　　See　your　work！'　　If　it　lived　to　be　eighty　it　would

always　hang　like　a　millstone　round　my　neck；　have　the　right　to　demand　good

from　me；　and　curse　me　for　its　sorrow。　　A　parent　is　only　like　to　Godif　his

work　turns　out　bad；　so　much　the　worse　for　him；　he　dare　not　wash　his　hands

of　it。　　Time　and　years　can　never　bring　the　day　when　you　can　say　to　your

child：　　'Soul；　what　have　I　to　do　with　you？'〃



Waldo　said　dreamingly：



〃It　is　a　marvellous　thing　that　one　soul　should　have　power　to　cause

another。〃



She　heard　the　words　as　she　heard　the　beating　of　the　horses'　hoofs；　her

thoughts　ran　on　in　their　own　line。



〃They　say；　'God　sends　the　little　babies。'　　Of　all　the　dastardly　revolting

lies　men　tell　to　suit　themselves；　I　hate　that　most。　　I　suppose　my　father

said　so　when　he　knew　he　was　dying　of　consumption；　and　my　mother　when　she

knew　she　had　nothing　to　support　me　on；　and　they　created　me　to　feed　like　a

dog　from　stranger　hands。　　Men　do　not　say　God　sends　the　books；　or　the

newspaper　articles；　or　the　machines　they　make；　and　then　sigh；　and　shrug

their　shoulders　and　say　they　can't　help　it。　　Why　do　they　say　so　about　other

things？　　Liars！　　'God　sends　the　little　babies！'〃　　She　struck　her　foot

fretfully　against　the　splashboard。　　〃The　small　children　say　so　earnestly。　

They　touch　the　little　stranger　reverently　who　has　just　come　from　God's　far

country；　and　they　peep　about　the　room　to　see　if　not　one　white　feather　has

dropped　from　the　wing　of　the　angel　that　brought　him。　　On　their　lips　the

phrase　means　much；　on　all　others　it　is　a　deliberate　lie。　　Noticeable；　too；〃

she　said；　dropping　in　an　instant　from　the　passionate　into　a　low；　mocking

tone；　〃when　people　are　married；　though　they　should　have　sixty　children；

they　throw　the　whole　onus　on　God。　　When　they　are　not；　we　hear　nothing　about

God's　having　sent　them。　　When　there　has　been　no　legal　contract　between　the

parents；　who　sends　the　little　children　then？　　The　devil　perhaps！〃　　She

laughed　her　little　silvery；　mocking　laugh。　　〃Odd　that　some　men　should　come

from　hell　and　some　from　heaven；　and　yet　all　look　so　much　alike　when　they

get　here。〃



Waldo　wondered　at　her。　　He　had　not　the　key　to　her　thoughts；　and　did　not　see

the　string　on　which　they　were　strung。　　She　drew　her　cloud　tighter　about

her。



〃It　must　be　very　nice　to　believe　in　the　devil；〃　she　said；　〃I　wish　I　did。　

If　it　would　be　of　any　use　I　would　pray　three　hours　night　and　morning　on　my

bare　knees；　'God；　let　me　believe　in　Satan。'　　He　is　so　useful　to　those

people　who　do。　　They　may　be　as　selfish　and　as　sensual　as　they　please；　and；

between　God's　will　and　the　devil's　action；　always　have　some　one　to　throw

their　sin　on。　　But　we；　wretched　unbelievers；　we　bear　our　own　burdens：　　we

must　say；　'I　myself　did　it；　I。　　Not　God；　not　Satan；　I　myself！'　　That　is　the

sting　that　strikes　deep。　　Waldo；〃　she　said　gently；　with　a　sudden　and

complete　change　of　manner；　〃I　like　you　so　much；　I　love　you。〃　　She　rested

her　cheek　softly　against　his　shoulder。　　〃When　I　am　with　you　I　never　know

that　I　am　a　woman　and　you　are　a　man；　I　only　know　that　we　are　both　things

that　think。　　Other　men　when　I　am　with　them；　whether　I　love　them　or　not；

they　are　mere　bodies　to　me；　but　you　are　a　spirit；　I　like　you。　　Look；〃　she

said　quickly；　sinking　back　into　her　corner；　〃what　a　pretty　pinkness　there

is　on　all　the　hilltops！　　The　sun　will　rise　in　a　moment。〃



Waldo　lifted　his　eyes　to　look　round　over　the　circle　of　golden　hills；　and

the　horses；　as　the　first　sunbeams　touched　them；　shook　their　heads　and

champed　their　bright　bits；　till　the　brass　settings　in　their　harness

glittered　again。



It　was　eight　o'clock　when　they　neared　the　farmhouse：　　a　red…brick　building；

with　kraals　to　the　right　and　a　small　orchard　to　the　left。　　Already　there

were　signs　of　unusual　life　and　bustle：　　one　cart；　a　wagon；　and　a　couple　of

saddles　against　the　wall　betokened　the　arrival　of　a　few　early　guests；　whose

numbers　would　soon　be　largely　increased。　　To　a　Dutch　country　wedding　guests

start　up　in　numbers　astonishing　to　one　who　has　merely　ridden　through　the

plains　of　sparsely…inhabited　karoo。



As　the　morning　advances；　riders　on　many　shades　of　steeds　appear　from　all

directions；　and　add　their　saddles　to　the　long　rows　against　the　walls；　shake

hands；　drink　coffee；　and　stand　about　outside　in　groups　to　watch　the

arriving　carts　and　ox…wagons；　as　they　are　unburdened　of　their　heavy　freight

of　massive　Tantes　and　comely　daughters；　followed　by　swarms　of　children　of

all　sizes；　dressed　in　all　manner　of　print　and　moleskin；　who　are　taken　care

of　by　Hottentot；　Kaffer；　and　half…caste　nurses；　whose　many…shaded

complexions；　ranging　from　light　yellow　up　to　ebony　black；　add　variety　to

the　animated　scene。



Everywhere　is　excitement　and　bustle；　which　gradually　increases　as　the　time

for　the　return　of　the　wedding…party　approaches。　　Preparations　for　the　feast

are　actively　advancing　in　the　kitchen；　coffee　is　liberally　handed　round；

and　amid　a　profound　sensation；　and　the　firing　of　guns；　the　horse…wagon

draws　up；　and　the　wedding…party　alight。　　Bride　and　bridegroom；　with　their

attendants；　march　solemnly　to　the　marriage…chamber；　where　bed　and　box　are

decked　out　in　white；　with　ends　of　ribbon　and　artificial　flowers；　and　where

on　a　row　of　chairs　the　party　solemnly　seat　themselves。　　After　a　time

bridesmaid　and　best　man　rise；　and　conduct　in　with　ceremony　each　individual

guest；　to　wish　success　and　to　kiss　bride　and　bridegroom。



Then　the　feast　is　set　on　the　table；　and　it　is　almost　sunset　before　the

dishes　are　cleared　away；　and　the　pleasure　of　the　day　begins。　　Everything　is

removed　from　the　great　front　room；　and　the　mud　floor；　well　rubbed　with

bullock's　blood；　glistens　like　polished　mahogany。　　The　female　portion　of

the　assembly　flock　into　the　side…rooms　to　attire　themselves　for　the

evening；　and　re…issue　clad　in　white　muslin；　and　gay　with　bright　ribbons　and

brass　jewelry。　　The　dancing　begins　as　the　first　tallow　candles　are　stuck　up

about　the　walls；　the　music　coming　from　a　couple　of　fiddlers　in　a　corner　of

the　room。　　Bride　and　bridegroom　open　the　ball；　and　the　floor　is　soon

covered　with　whirling　couples；　and　every　one's　spirits　rise。　　The　bridal

pair　mingle　freely　in　the　throng；　and　here　and　there　a　musical　man　sings

vigorously　as　he　drags　his　partner　through　the　Blue　Water　or　John　Speriwig；

boys　shout　and　applaud；　and　the　enjoyment　and　confusion　are　intense；　till

eleven　o'clock　comes。　　By　this　time　the　children　who　swarm　in　the　side…

rooms　are　not　to　be　kept　quiet　longer；　even　by　hunches　of　bread　and　cake；

there　is　a　general　howl　and　wail；