the story of an african farm-第37章
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〃I think it would be better；〃 she answered； slowly。
〃Oh； well；〃 he said； drawing himself up； 〃if you won't enter into
explanations you won't； and I'm not the man to beg and praynot to any
woman； and you know that！ If you don't want to marry me I can't oblige you
to； of course。〃
She stood quite still before him。
〃You women never do know your own minds for two days together； and of
course you know the state of your own feelings best； but it's very strange。
Have you really made up your mind； Em？〃
〃Yes。〃
〃Well； I'm very sorry。 I'm sure I've not been in anything to blame。 A man
can't always be billing and cooing； but； as you say； if your feeling for me
has changed； it's much better you shouldn't marry me。 There's nothing so
foolish as to marry some one you don't love； and I only wish for your
happiness； I'm sure。 I daresay you'll find some one can make you much
happier than I could； the first person we love is seldom the right one。
You are very young； it's quite natural you should change。〃
She said nothing。
〃Things often seem hard at the time； but Providence makes them turn out for
the best in the end；〃 said Gregory。 〃You'll let me kiss you； Em； just for
old friendship's sake。〃 He stooped down。 〃You must look upon me as a dear
brother； as a cousin at least； as long as I am on the farm I shall always
be glad to help you； Em。〃
Soon after the brown pony was cantering along the footpath to the daub…and…
wattle house； and his master as he rode whistled John Speriwig and the
Thorn Kloof Schottische。
The sun had not yet touched the outstretched arms of the prickly pear upon
the kopje； and the early cocks and hens still strutted about stiffly after
the night's roost； when Waldo stood before the wagon…house saddling the
grey mare。 Every now and then he glanced up at the old familiar objects：
they had a new aspect that morning。 Even the cocks； seen in the light of
parting； had a peculiar interest； and he listened with conscious attention
while one crowed clear and loud as it stood on the pigsty wall。 He wished
good morning softly to the Kaffer woman who was coming up from the huts to
light the fire。 He was leaving them all to that old life； and from his
height he looked down on them pityingly。 So they would keep on crowing；
and coming to light fires； when for him that old colourless existence was
but a dream。
He went into the house to say good…bye to Em； and then he walked to the
door of Lyndall's room to wake her； but she was up； and standing in the
doorway。
〃So you are ready；〃 she said。
Waldo looked at her with sudden heaviness； the exhilaration died out of his
heart。 Her grey dressing…gown hung close about her； and below its edge the
little bare feet were resting on the threshold。
〃I wonder when we shall meet again； Waldo？ What you will be； and what I？〃
〃Will you write to me？〃 he asked of her。
〃Yes； and if I should not； you can still remember； wherever you are； that
you are not alone。〃
〃I have left Doss for you；〃 he said。
〃Will you not miss him？〃
〃No； I want you to have him。 He loves you better than he loves me。〃
〃Thank you。〃 They stood quiet。
〃Good…bye！〃 she said； putting her little hand in his； and he turned away；
but when he reached the door she called to him： 〃Come back； I want to kiss
you。〃 She drew his face down to hers； and held it with both hands； and
kissed it on the forehead and mouth。 〃Good…bye； dear！〃
When he looked back the little figure with its beautiful eyes was standing
in the doorway still。
Chapter 2。VIII。 The Kopje。
〃Good morning！〃
Em； who was in the storeroom measuring the Kaffer's rations； looked up and
saw her former lover standing betwixt her and the sunshine。 For some days
after that evening on which he had ridden home whistling he had shunned
her。 She might wish to enter into explanations； and he； Gregory Rose； was
not the man for that kind of thing。 If a woman had once thrown him
overboard she must take the consequences； and stand by them。 When；
however； she showed no inclination to revert to the past； and shunned him
more than he shunned her； Gregory softened。
〃You must let me call you Em still； and be like a brother to you till I
go；〃 he said； and Em thanked him so humbly that he wished she hadn't。 It
wasn't so easy after that to think himself an injured man。
On that morning he stood some time in the doorway switching his whip； and
moving rather restlessly from one leg to the other。
〃I think I'll just take a walk up to the camps and see how your birds are
getting on。 Now Waldo's gone you've no one to see after things。 Nice
morning； isn't it？〃 Then he added suddenly； 〃I'll just go round to the
house and get a drink of water first；〃 and somewhat awkwardly walked off。
He might have found water in the kitchen； but he never glanced toward the
buckets。 In the front room a monkey and two tumblers stood on the centre…
table； but he merely looked round； peeped into the parlour； looked round
again； and then walked out at the front door； and found himself again at
the storeroom without having satisfied his thirst。 〃Awfully nice morning
this；〃 he said； trying to pose himself in a graceful and indifferent
attitude against the door。 〃It isn't hot and it isn't cold。 It's awfully
nice。〃
〃Yes；〃 said Em。
〃Your cousin； now；〃 said Gregory in an aimless sort of way〃I suppose
she's shut up in her room writing letters。〃
〃No；〃 said Em。
〃Gone for a drive； I expect？ Nice morning for a drive。〃
〃No。〃
〃Gone to see the ostriches； I suppose？〃
〃No。〃 After a little silence Em added； 〃I saw her go by the kraals to the
kopje。〃
Gregory crossed and uncrossed his legs。
〃Well； I think I'll just go and have a look about；〃 he said； 〃and see how
things are getting on before I go to the camps。 Good…bye； so long。〃
Em left for a while the bags she was folding and went to the window； the
same through which； years before； Bonaparte had watched the slouching
figure cross the yard。 Gregory walked to the pigsty first； and
contemplated the pigs for a few seconds； then turned round； and stood
looking fixedly at the wall of the fuel…house as though he thought it
wanted repairing； then he started off suddenly with the evident intention
of going to the ostrich…camps； then paused； hesitated； and finally walked
off in the direction of the kopje。
Then Em went back to the corner and folded more sacks。
On the other side of the kopje Gregory caught sight of a white tail waving
among the stones； and a succession of short； frantic barks told where Doss
was engaged in howling imploringly to a lizard who had crept between two
stones； and who had not the slightest intention of re…sunning himself at
that particular moment。
The dog's mistress sat higher up； under the shelving rock； her face bent
over a volume of plays upon her knee。 As Gregory mounted the stones she
started violently and looked up； then resumed her book。
〃I hope I am not troubling you；〃 said Gregory as he reached her side。 〃If
I am I will go away。 I just〃
〃No； you may stay。〃
〃I fear I startled you。〃
〃Yes； your step was firmer than it generally is。 I thought it was that of
some one else。〃
〃Who could it be but me？〃 asked Gregory； seating himself on a stone at her
feet。
〃Do you suppose you are the only man who would find anything to attract him
to this kopje？〃
〃Oh； no；〃 said Gregory。
He was not going to argue that point with her； nor any other； but no old
Boer was likely to take the trouble of climbing the kopje； and who else was
there？
She continued the study of her book。
〃Miss Lyndall；〃 he said at last； 〃I don't know why it is you never talk to
me。〃
〃We had a long conversation yesterday；〃 she said without looking up。
〃Yes； but you ask me questions about sheep and oxen。 I don't call that
talking。 You used to talk to Waldo； now；〃 he said； in an aggrieved tone of
voice。 〃I've heard you when I came in； and then you've just left off。 You
treated me like that from the first day； and you couldn't tell from just
looking at me that I couldn't talk about the things you like。 I'm sure I
know as much about such things as Waldo does；〃 said Gregory； in exceeding
bitterness of spirit。
〃I do not know which things you refer to。 If you will enlighten me I am
quite prepared to speak of them；〃 she said； reading as she spoke。
〃Oh； you never used to ask Waldo like that；〃 said Gregory； in a more sorely
aggrieved tone than ever。 〃You used just to begin。〃
〃Well； let me see；〃 she said； closing her book and folding her hands on it。
〃There at the foot of the kopje goes a Kaffer； he has nothing on but a
blanket； he is a splendid fellowsix feet high； with a magnificent pair of
legs。 In his leather bag he is going to fetch his rations； and I suppose
to kick his wife with his beautiful legs when he gets home。 He has a right
to； he bought her for two oxen。 There is a lean dog going after him； to
whom I suppose he never gives more than a bone from which he has sucked the
marrow； but his dog loves him； as his wife does。 There is something of the
master about him in spite of his blackness and wool。 See how he brandishes
his stick and holds up his head！〃
〃Oh； but aren't you making fun？〃 said Gregory； looking doubtfully from her
to the Kaffer herd； who rounded the kopje。
〃No； I am very serious。 He is the most interesting and intelligent thing I
can see just now； except； perhaps； Doss。 He is profoundly suggestive。
Will his race melt away in the heat of a collision with a higher？ Are the
men of the future to see his bones only in museumsa vestige of one link
that spanned between the dog and the white man？ He wakes thoughts that run
far out into the future and back into the past。〃
Gregory was not quite sure how to take these remarks。 Being about a
Kaffer； they appeared to be of the nature of a joke； but； being seriously
spoken； they appeared earnest； so he half laughed and half not； to be on
the safe side。
〃I've often thought so myself。 It's funny we should both think the same； I
knew we should if once we talked。 But there are other thingslove； now；〃
he added。 〃I wonder if we would think alike about that。 I wrote an essay
on love once； the master said it was the best I ever wrote； and I can
remember the first sentence still'Love is something that you feel in your
heart。'〃
〃That was a trenchant remark。 Can't you remember any more？〃
〃No；〃 said Gregory； regretfully； 〃I've forgotten the rest。 But tell me
what do you think about love？〃
A look； half of abstraction； half amusement； played on her lips。
〃I don't know much about love；〃 she said； 〃and I do not like to talk of
things I do not understand； but I have heard two opinions。 So
