the story of an african farm-第46章

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him；　half…way　across　the　plain　he　came　to　a　deep　gully　which　the　rain

torrents　had　washed　out；　but　which　was　now　dry。　　Gregory　sprung　down　into

its　red　bed。　　It　was　a　safe　place；　and　quiet。　　When　he　had　looked　about　him

he　sat　down　under　the　shade　of　an　overhanging　bank　and　fanned　himself　with

his　hat；　for　the　afternoon　was　hot；　and　he　had　walked　fast。　　At　his　feet

the　dusty　ants　ran　about；　and　the　high　red　bank　before　him　was　covered　by　a

network　of　roots　and　fibres　washed　bare　by　the　rains。　　Above　his　head　rose

the　clear　blue　African　sky；　at　his　side　were　the　saddlebags　full　of　women's

clothing。　　Gregory　looked　up　half　plaintively　into　the　blue　sky。



〃Am　I；　am　I　Gregory　Nazianzen　Rose？〃　he　said。



It　was　also　strange；　he　sitting　there　in　that　sloot　in　that　up…country

plain！strange　as　the　fantastic；　changing　shapes　in　a　summer　cloud。　　At

last；　tired　out；　he　fell　asleep；　with　his　head　against　the　bank。　　When　he

woke　the　shadow　had　stretched　across　the　sloot；　and　the　sun　was　on　the　edge

of　the　plain。　　Now　he　must　be　up　and　doing。　　He　drew　from　his　breast　pocket

a　little　sixpenny　looking…glass；　and　hung　it　on　one　of　the　roots　that　stuck

out　from　the　bank。　　Then　he　dressed　himself　in　one　of　the　old…fashioned

gowns　and　a　great　pinked…out　collar。　　Then　he　took　out　a　razor。　　Tuft　by

tuft　the　soft　brown　beard　fell　down　into　the　sand；　and　the　little　ants　took

it　to　line　their　nests　with。　　Then　the　glass　showed　a　face　surrounded　by　a

frilled　cap；　white　as　a　woman's；　with　a　little　mouth；　a　very　short　upper

lip；　and　a　receding　chin。



Presently　a　rather　tall　woman's　figure　was　making　its　way　across　the　veld。

As　it　passed　a　hollowed…out　antheap　it　knelt　down；　and　stuffed　in　the

saddlebags　with　the　man's　clothing；　closing　up　the　anthill　with　bits　of

ground　to　look　as　natural　as　possible。　　Like　a　sinner　hiding　his　deed　of

sin；　the　hider　started　once　and　looked　round；　but　yet　there　was　no　one　near

save　a　meerkat；　who　had　lifted　herself　out　of　her　hole　and　sat　on　her　hind

legs　watching。　　He　did　not　like　that　even　she　should　see；　and　when　he　rose

she　dived　away　into　her　hole。　　Then　he　walked　on　leisurely；　that　the　dusk

might　have　reached　the　village　streets　before　he　walked　there。　　The　first

house　was　the　smith's；　and　before　the　open　door　two　idle　urchins　lolled。　

As　he　hurried　up　the　street　in　the　gathering　gloom　he　heard　them　laugh　long

and　loudly　behind　him。　　He　glanced　round　fearingly；　and　would　almost　have

fled；　but　that　the　strange　skirts　clung　about　his　legs。　　And　after　all　it

was　only　a　spark　that　had　alighted　on　the　head　of　one；　and　not　the　strange

figure　they　laughed　at。



The　door　of　the　hotel　stood　wide　open；　and　the　light　fell　out　into　the

street。　　He　knocked；　and　the　landlady　came。　　She　peered　out　to　look　for　the

cart　that　had　brought　the　traveller；　but　Gregory's　heart　was　brave　now　he

was　so　near　the　quiet　room。　　He　told　her　he　had　come　with　the　transport

wagons　that　stood　outside　the　town。



He　had　walked　in；　and　wanted　lodgings　for　the　night。



It　was　a　deliberate　lie；　glibly　told；　he　would　have　told　fifty；　though　the

recording　angel　had　stood　in　the　next　room　with　his　pen　dipped　in　the　ink。　

What　was　it　to　him？　　He　remembered　that　she　lay　there　saying　always：　　〃I　am

better。〃



The　landlady　put　his　supper　in　the　little　parlour　where　he　had　sat　in　the

morning。　　When　it　was　on　the　table　she　sat　down　in　the　rocking…chair；　as

her　fashion　was　to　knit　and　talk；　that　she　might　gather　news　for　her

customers　in　the　taproom。　　In　the　white　face　under　the　queer；　deep…fringed

cap　she　saw　nothing　of　the　morning's　traveller。　　The　newcomer　was

communicative。　　She　was　a　nurse　by　profession；　she　said；　had　come　to　the

Transvaal；　hearing　that　good　nurses　were　needed　there。　　She　had　not　yet

found　work。　　The　landlady　did　not　perhaps　know　whether　there　would　be　any

for　her　in　that　town？



The　landlady　put　down　her　knitting　and　smote　her　fat　hands　together。



If　it　wasn't　the　very　finger　of　God's　providence；　as　though　you　saw　it

hanging　out　of　the　sky；　she　said。　　Here　was　a　lady　ill　and　needing　a　new

nurse　that　very　day；　and　not　able　to　get　one　to　her　mind；　and　nowwell；　if

it　wasn't　enough　to　convert　all　the　Atheists　and　Freethinkers　in　the

Transvaal；　she　didn't　know！



Then　the　landlady　proceeded　to　detail　facts。



〃I'm　sure　you　will　suit　her；〃　she　added；　〃you're　just　the　kind。　　She　has

heaps　of　money　to　pay　you　with；　has　everything　that　money　can　buy。　　And　I

got　a　letter　with　a　check　in　it　for　fifty　pounds　the　other　day　from　some

one；　who　says　I'm　to　spend　it　for　her；　and　not　to　let　her　know。　　She　is

asleep　now；　but　I'll　take　you　in　to　look　at　her。〃



The　landlady　opened　the　door　of　the　next　room；　and　Gregory　followed　her。　　A

table　stood　near　the　bed；　and　a　lamp　burning　low　stood　on　it；　the　bed　was　a

great　four…poster　with　white　curtains；　and　the　quilt　was　of　rich　crimson

satin。　　But　Gregory　stood　just　inside　the　door　with　his　head　bent　low；　and

saw　no　further。



〃Come　nearer！　　I'll　turn　the　lamp　up　a　bit；　that　you　can　have　a　look　at

her。　　A　pretty　thing；　isn't　it？〃　said　the　landlady。



Near　the　foot　of　the　bed　was　a　dent　in　the　crimson　quilt；　and　out　of　it

Doss'　small　head　and　bright　eyes　looked　knowingly。



Then　Gregory　looked　up　at　what　lay　on　the　cushion。　　A　little　white；　white

face；　transparent　as　an　angel's　with　a　cloth　bound　round　the　forehead；　and

with　soft　hair　tossed　about　on　the　pillow。



〃We　had　to　cut　it　off；〃　said　the　woman；　touching　it　with　her　forefinger。　

〃Soft　as　silk；　like　a　wax　doll's。〃



But　Gregory's　heart　was　bleeding。



〃Never　get　up　again；　the　doctor　says；〃　said　the　landlady。



Gregory　uttered　one　word。　　In　an　instant　the　beautiful　eyes　opened　widely；

looked　round　the　room　and　into　the　dark　corners。



〃Who　is　here？　　Whom　did　I　hear　speak？〃



Gregory　had　sunk　back　behind　the　curtain；　the　landlady　drew　it　aside；　and

pulled　him　forward。



〃Only　this　lady；　ma'ama　nurse　by　profession。　　She　is　willing　to　stay　and

take　care　of　you；　if　you　can　come　to　terms　with　her。〃



Lyndall　raised　herself　on　her　elbow；　and　cast　one　keen　scrutinizing　glance

over　him。



〃Have　I　never　seen　you　before？〃　she　asked。



〃No。〃



She　fell　back　wearily。



〃Perhaps　you　would　like　to　arrange　the　terms　between　yourselves；〃　said　the

landlady。　　〃Here　is　a　chair。　　I　will　be　back　presently。〃



Gregory　sat　down；　with　bent　head　and　quick　breath。　　She　did　not　speak；　and

lay　with　half…closed　eyes；　seeming　to　have　forgotten　him。



〃Will　you　turn　the　lamp　down　a　little？〃　she　said　at　last；　〃I　cannot　bear

the　light。〃



Then　his　heart　grew　braver　in　the　shadow；　and　he　spoke。　　Nursing　was　to

him；　he　said；　his　chosen　life's　work。　　He　wanted　no　money　if　　She　stopped

him。



〃I　take　no　service　for　which　I　do　not　pay；〃　she　said。　　〃What　I　gave　to　my

last　nurse　I　will　give　to　you；　if　you　do　not　like　it　you　may　go。〃



And　Gregory　muttered　humbly；　he　would　take　it。



Afterward　she　tried　to　turn　herself。　　He　lifted　her！　　Ah！　a　shrunken　little

body；　he　could　feel　its　weakness　as　he　touched　it。　　His　hands　were　to　him

glorified　for　what　they　had　done。



〃Thank　you！　that　is　so　nice。　　Other　people　hurt　me　when　they　touch　me；〃　she

said。　　〃Thank　you！〃　　Then　after　a　little　while　she　repeated　humbly；　〃Thank

you；　they　hurt　me　so。〃



Gregory　sat　down　trembling。　　His　little　ewe…lamb；　could　they　hurt　her？



The　doctor　said　of　Gregory　four　days　after；　〃She　is　the　most　experienced

nurse　I　ever　came　in　contact　with。〃



Gregory；　standing　in　the　passage；　heard　it　and　laughed　in　his　heart。　　What

need　had　he　of　experience？　　Experience　teaches　us　in　a　millennium　what

passion　teaches　us　in　an　hour。　　A　Kaffer　studies　all　his　life　the

discerning　of　distant　sounds；　but　he　will　never　hear　my　step；　when　my　love

hears　it；　coming　to　her　window　in　the　dark　over　the　short　grass。



At　first　Gregory's　heart　was　sore　when　day　by　day　the　body　grew　lighter；

and　the　mouth　he　fed　took　less；　but　afterward　he　grew　accustomed　to　it；　and

was　happy。　　For　passion　has　one　cry；　one　only〃Oh；　to　touch　thee；

Beloved！〃



In　that　quiet　room　Lyndall　lay　on　the　bed　with　the　dog　at　her　feet；　and

Gregory　sat　in　his　dark　corner　watching。



She　seldom　slept；　and　through　those　long；　long　days　she　would　lie　watching

the　round　streak　of　sunlight　that　came　through　the　knot　in　the　shutter；　or

the　massive　lion's　paw　on　which　the　wardrobe　rested。　　What　thoughts　were　in

those　eyes？　Gregory　wondered；　he　dared　not　ask。



Sometimes　Doss　where　he　lay　on　her　feet　would　dream　that　they　two　were　in

the　cart；　tearing　over　the　veld；　with　the　black　horses　snorting；　and　the

wind　in　their　faces；　and　he　would　start　up　in　his　sleep　and　bark　aloud。　

Then　awaking；　he　would　lick　his　mistress'　hand　almost　remorsefully；　and

slink　quietly　down　into　his　place。



Gregory　thought　she　had　no　pain；　she　never　groaned；　only　sometimes；　when

the　light　was　near　her；　he　thought　he　could　see　contractions　about　her　lips

and　eyebrows。



He　slept　on　the　sofa　outside　her　door。



One　night　he　thought　he　heard　a　sound；　and；　opening　it　softly；　he　looked

in。　　She　was　crying　out　aloud；　as　if　she　and　her　pain　were　alone　in　the

world。　　The　light　fell　on　the　red　quilt；　and　the　little　hands　that　were

clasped　over　the　head。　　The　wide…open　eyes　were　looking　up；　and　the　heavy

drops　fell　slowly　from　them。



〃I　cannot　bear　any　more；　not　any　more；〃　she　said　in　a　deep　voice。　　〃Oh；

God；　God！　have　I　not　borne　in　silence？　　Have　I　not　endured　these　long；　long

months？　　But　now；　now；　oh；　God；　I　cannot！〃



Gregory　knelt　in　the　doorway　listening。



〃I　do　not　ask　for　wisdom；　not　human　love；　not　work；　not　knowledge；　not　for

all　things　I　have　longed　for；〃　she　cried；　〃only　a　little　freedom　from　pain！

Only　one　little　hour　without　pain！　　Then　I　will　suffer　again。〃



She　sat　up；　and　bit　the　little　hand　Gregory　loved。



He　crept　away　to　the　front　door；　and　stood　looking　out　at　the　quiet

starlight。　　When　he　came　back　she　was　lying　in　her　usual　posture；　the　quiet

eyes　looking　at　the　lion's　claw。　　He　came　close　to　the　bed。



〃You　have　much　pain　tonight？〃　he　asked　her。



〃No；　not　much。〃



〃Can　I　do　anything　for　you？〃



〃No；　nothing。〃



She　still　drew　her　lips　together；　and　motioned　with　her　fingers　toward　the

dog　who　lay　sleeping　at　her　feet。　　Gregory　lifted　him　and　laid　him　at　her

side。　　She　made　Gregory　turn　open　the　bosom　of　her　nightdress；　that　the　dog

might　put　his　black　muzzle　between　her　breasts。　　She　crossed　her　arms　over

him。　　Gregory　left　them　lying　there　together。



Next　day；　when　they　asked　her　how　she　was；　she　answered　〃Better。〃



〃Some　one　ought　to　tell　her；〃　said　the　landlady；　〃we　can't　let　her　soul　go

out　into　eternity　not　knowing；　especially　when　I　don't　think　it　was　all

right　about　the　child。　　You　ought　to　go　and　tell　her；　doctor。〃



So；　the　little　doctor；　edged　on　and　on；　went　in　at　last。　　When　he　came