安妮日记英文版_安妮·弗兰克-第31章
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n。
whenever youre feeling lonely or sad； try going to the loft on a beautiful day and looking outside。 not at the houses and the rooftops； but at the sky。 as long as you can look fearlessly at the sky； youll know that youre pure within and will find happiness once more。
sunday； february 27； 1944
my dearest kitty；
from early in the morning to late at night； all i do is think about peter。 i fall asleep with his image before my eyes； dream about him and wake up with him still looking at me。
i have the strong feeling that peter and i arent really as different as we may seem on the surface； and ill explain why： neither peter nor i have a mother。 his is too superficial； likes to flirt and doesnt concern herself much with what goes on in his head。 mine takes an active interest in my life； but has no tact； sensitivity or motherly understanding。
both peter and i are struggling with our innermost feelings。 were still unsure of ourselves and are too vulnerable； emotionally； to be dealt with so roughly。 whenever that happens； i want to run outside or hide my feelings。 instead； i bang the pots and pans； splash the water and am generally noisy； so that everyone wishes i were miles away。 peters reaction is to shut himself up； say little； sit quietly and daydream； all the while carefully hiding his true self。
but how and when will we finally reach each other？
i dont know how much longer i can continue to keep this yearning under control。
yours； anne
m。 frank
monday； february 28； 1944
my dearest kitty；
its like a nightmare； one that goes on long after im awake。 i see him nearly every hour of the day and yet i cant be with him； i cant let the others notice； and i have to pretend to be cheerful； though my heart is aching。
peter schiff and peter van daan have melted into one peter； whos good and kind and whom i long for desperately。 mothers horrible； fathers nice； which makes him even more exasperating； and margots the worst； since she takes advantage of my smiling face to claim me for herself； when all i want is to be left alone。
peter didnt join me in the attic； but went up to the loft to do some carpentry work。
at every rasp and bang； another chunk of my courage broke off and i was even more unhappy。 in the distance a clock was tolling be pure in heart； be pure in mind！鈥�
im sentimental； i know。 im despondent and foolish； i know that too。
oh； help me！
yours； anne
m。 frank
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MARCH； 1944
澶В诲鐢煟诲皬；璇矗弧ǎ荤綉
wednesday； march 1； 1944
dearest kitty；
my own affairs have been pushed to the background by 。 。 。 a break…in。 im boring you with all my break…ins； but what can i do when burglars take such pleasure in honoring gies & go。 with their presence？ this incident is much more plicated than the last one； in july 1943。
last night at seven…thirty mr。 van daan was heading； as usual； for mr。 kuglers office when he saw that both the glass door and the office door were open。 he was surprised； but he went on through and was even more astonished to see that the alcove doors were open as well and that there was a terrible mess in the front office。
〃theres been a burglary〃 flashed through his mind。 but just to make sure； he went downstairs to the front door； checked the lock and found everything closed。 〃bep and peter must just have been very careless this evening；〃 mr。 van。 d。 concluded。 he remained for a while in mr。 kuglers office； switched off the lamp and went upstairs without worrying much about the open doors or the messy office。
early this morning peter knocked at our door to tell us that the front door was wide
open and that the projector and mr。 kuglers new briefcase had disappeared from the closet。 peter was instructed to lock the door。 mr。 van daan told us his discoveries of the night before； and we were extremely worried。
the only explanation is that the burglar must have had a duplicate key； since there were no signs of a forced entry。 he must have sneaked in early in the evening； shut the door behind him； hidden himself when he heard mr。 van daan； fled with the loot after mr。 van daan went upstairs and； in his hurry； not bothered to shut the door。
who could have our key？ why didnt the burglar go to the warehouse？ was it one of our own warehouse employees； and will he turn us in； now that hes heard mr。 van daan and maybe even seen him？
its really scary； since we dont know whether the burglar will take it into his head to try and get in again。 or was he so startled when he heard someone else in the building that hell stay away？
yours； anne
p。s。 wed be delighted if you could hunt up a good detective for us。 obviously； theres one condotion： he must be relied upon not to mform on people in hiding。
thursday； march 2； 1944
dearest kitty；
margot and i were in the attic together today。 i cant enjoy being there with her the way i imagine itd be with peter （or someone else）。 i know she feels the same about most things as i do！
while doing the dishes； bep began talking to mother and mrs。 van daan about how discouraged she gets。 what help did those two offer her？ our tactless mother； especially； only made things go from bad to worse。 do you know what her advice was？ that she should think about all the other people in the world who are suffering！
how can thinking about the misery of others help if youre miserable yourself？ i said as much。 their response； of course； was that i should stay out of conversations of this sort。
the grown…ups are such idiots！ as if peter； margot； bep and i didnt all have the same feelings。 the only thing that helps is a mothers love； or that of a very； very close friend。 but these two mothers dont understand the first thing about us！ perhaps
mrs。 van daan does； a bit more than mother。 oh； i wish i could have said something to poor bep； something that i know from my own experience would have helped。 but father came between us； pushing me roughly aside。 theyre all so stupid！
i also talked to margot about father and mother； about how nice it could be here if they werent so aggravating。 wed be able to organize evenings in which everyone could take turns discussing a given subject。 but weve already been through all that。
its impossible for me to talk here！ mr。 van daan goes on the offensive； mother i gets sarcastic and cant say anythina in a normal voice； father doesnt feel like taking part； nor does mr。 dussel； and mrs。 van d。 is attacked so often that she just sits there with a red face； hardly able to put up a fight anymore。 and what about us？ we arent allowed to have an opinion！ my； my； arent they progressive！ not have an opinion！
people can tell you to shut up； but they cant keep you from having an opinion。 you cant forbid someone to have an opinion； no matter how young they are！ the only thing that would help bep； margot； peter and me would be great love and devotion； which we dont get here。 and no one； especially not the idiotic sages around here； is capable of understanding us； since were more sensitive and much more advanced in our thinking than any of them ever suspect！
love； what is love？ i dont think you can really put it into words。 love is understanding someone； caring for him； sharing his joys and sorrows。 this eventually includes physical love。 youve shared something； given something away and received something in return； whether or not youre married； whether or not you have a baby。
losing your virtue doesnt matter； as long as you know that for as long as you live youll have someone at your side who understands you； and who doesnt have to be shared with anyone else！
yours； anne
m。 frank
at the moment； mothers grouching at me again； shes clearly jealous because i talk to mrs。 van daan more than to her。 what do i care！
i managed to get hold of peter this afternoon； and we talked for at least forty…five minutes。 he wanted to tell me something about himself； but didnt find it easy。 he finally got it out； though it took a long time。 i honestly didnt know whether it was better for me to stay or to go。 but i wanted so much to help him！ i told him about bep and how tactless our mothers are。 he told me that his parents fight constantly； about politics and cigarettes and all kinds of things。 as ive told you before； peters very shy； but not too shy to admit that hed be perfectly happy not to see his parents for a year or two。 〃my father isnt as nice as he looks；〃 he said。 〃but in the matter of the cigarettes； mothers absolutely right。〃
i also told him about my mother。 but he came to fathers defense。 he thought he was a 〃terrific guy。鈥�
tonight when i was hanging up my apron after doing the dishes； he called me over and asked me not to say anything downstairs about his parents having had another argument and not being on speaking terms。 i promised； though id already told margot。
but im sure margot wont pass it on。
〃oh no； peter；〃 i said； you dont have to worry about me。 ive learned not to blab everything i hear。 i never repeat what you tell me。鈥�
he was glad to hear that。 i also told him what terrible gossips we are； and said； 〃margots quite right； of course； when she says im not being honest； because as much as i want to stop gossiping； theres nothing i like better than discussing mr。 dussel。鈥�
〃its good that you admit it；〃 he said。 he blushed； and his sincere pliment almost embarrassed me too。
then we talked about 〃upstairs〃 and 〃downstairs〃 some more。 peter was really rather surprised to hear that dont like his parents。 〃peter；〃 i said； 〃you know im always honest； so why shouldnt i tell you this as well？ we can see their faults too。鈥�
i added； 〃peter； id really like to help you。 will you let me？ youre caught in an awkward position； and i know； even though you dont say anything； that it upsets you。鈥�
〃oh； your help is always wele！鈥�
〃maybe itd be better for you to talk to father。 you can tell him anything； he wont pass it on。鈥�
〃i know； hes a real pal。鈥�
〃you like him a lot； dont you？鈥�
peter nodded； and i continued； 〃well； he likes you too； you know！鈥�
he looked up quickly and blushed。 it was really touching to see how happy these few words made him。
〃you think so？〃 he asked。
〃yes；〃 i said。 〃you can tell from the little things he lets slip now and then。鈥�
then mr。 van daan came in to do some dictating。
peters a 〃terrific guy；〃 just like father！
yours； anne
m。 frank
friday； march 3；1944
my dearest kitty；
when i looked into the candle tonight； i felt calm and happy again。 it seems grandma is in that candle； and its grandma who watches over and protects me and makes me feel happy again。 but。 。 。 theres someone else who governs all my moods and thats。 。
。 peter。 i went to get the potatoes today； and while i was standing on the stairway with my pan full； he asked； 〃what did you do during the lunch break？鈥�
i sat down on the stairs； and we began to talk。 the potatoes didnt make it to the kitchen until five…fifteen （an hour after id gone to get them）。 peter didnt say anything more about his parents； we just talked about books and about the past。 oh； he gazes at me with such warmth in his eyes； i dont think it will take much for me to fall in love with him。
he brought the subject up th
