安妮日记英文版_安妮·弗兰克-第40章

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yet　i　have　a　feeling；　kitty；　that　you　can　sense　my　doubt。　it　must　be　my　honesty　rising　in　revolt　against　all　this　sneaking　around。　do　you　think　its　my　duty　to　tell　father　what　im　up　to？　do　you　think　our　secret　should　be　shared　with　a　third　person？

much　of　the　beauty　would　be　lost；　but　would　it　make　me　feel　better　inside？　ill　bring　it　up　with　him。

oh；　yes；　i　still　have　so　much　i　want　to　discuss　with　him；　since　i　dont　see　the　point　of　just　cuddling。　sharing　our　thoughts　with　each　other　requires　a　great　deal　of　trust；　but　well　both　be　stronger　because　of　it！

yours；　anne　

m。　frank

p。s。　we　were　up　at　six　yesterday　morning；　because　the　whole　family　heard　the　sounds　of　a　break…in　again。　it　must　have　been　one　of　our　neighbors　who　was　the　victim　this

time。　when　we　checked　at　seven　oclock；　our　doors　were　still　shut　tight；　thank　goodness！

tuesday；　april　18；1944

dearest　kitty；

everythings　fine　here。　last　night　the　carpenter　came　again　to　put　some　sheets　of　iron　over　the　door　panels。　father　just　got　through　saying　he　definitely　expects　large…scale　operations　in　russia　and　italy；　as　well　as　in　the　west；　before　may　20；　the　longer　the　war　lasts；　the　harder　it　is　to　imagine　being　liberated　from　this　place。

yesterday　peter　and　i　finally　got　around　to　having　the　talk　weve　been　postponing　for　the　last　ten　days。　i　told　him　all　about　girls；　without　hesitating　to　discuss　the　most　intimate　matters。　i　found　it　rather　amusing　that　he　thought　the　opening　in　a　womans　body　was　simply　left　out　of　illustrations。　he　couldnt　imagine　that　it　was　actually　located　between　a　womans　legs。　the　evening　ended　with　a　mutual　kiss；　near　the　mouth。　its　really　a　lovely　feeling！

i　might　take　my　〃favorite　quotes　notebook〃　up　with　me　sometime　so　peter　and　i　can　go　more　deeply　into　matters。　i　dont　think　lying　in　each　others　arms　day　in　and　day　out　is　very　satisfying；　and　i　hope　he　feels　the　same。

after　our　mild　winter　weve　been　having　a　beautiful　spring。　april　is　glorious；　not　too　hot　and　not　too　cold；　with　occasional　light　showers。　our　chestnut　tree　is　in　leaf；　and　here　and　there　you　can　already　see　a　few　small　blossoms。

bep　presented　us　saturday　with　four　bouquets　of　flowers：　three　bouquets　of　daffodils；　and　one　bouquet　of　grape　hyacinths　for　me。　mr。　kugler　is　supplying　us　with　more　and　more　newspapers。

its　time　to　do　my　algebra；　kitty。　bye。

yours；　anne　

m。　frank

wednesday；　april　19；　1944

dearest　darling；　（thats　the　title　of　a　movie　with　dorit　kreysler；　ida　wust　and　harald　paulsen！）

what　could　be　nicer　than　sitting　before　an　open　window；　enjoying　nature；　listening　to　the　birds　sing；　feeling　the　sun　on　your　cheeks　and　holding　a　darling　boy　in　your　arms？

i　feel　so　peaceful　and　safe　with　his　arm　around　me；　knowing　hes　near　and　yet　not　having　to　speak；　how　can　this　be　bad　when　it　does　me　so　much　good？　oh；　if　only　we　were　never　disturbed　again；　not　even　by　mouschi。

yours；　anne　

m。　frank

friday；　april　21；1944

my　dearest　kitty；

i　stayed　in　bed　yesterday　with　a　sore　throat；　but　since　i　was　already　bored　the　very　first　afternoon　and　didnt　have　a　fever；　i　got　up　today。　my　sore　throat　has　nearly　〃verschwunden〃*　＇*　disappeared＇。

yesterday；　as　youve　probably　already　discovered；　was　our　fiihrers　fifty…fifth　birthday。　today　is　the　eighteenth　birthday　of　her　royal　highness　princess　elizabeth　of　york。　the　bbc　reported　that　she　hasnt　yet　been　declared　of　age；　though　royal　children　usually　are。　weve　been　wondering　which　prince　theyll　marry　this　beauty　off　to；　but　cant　think　of　a　suitable　candidate；　perhaps　her　sister；　princess　margaret　rose；　can　have　crown　prince　baudouin　of　belgium！

here　weve　been　going　from　one　disaster　to　the　next。　no　sooner　have　the　outside　doors　been　reinforced　than　van　maaren　rears　his　head　again。　in　all　likelihood　hes　the　one　who　stole　the　potato　flour；　and　now　hes　trying　to　pin　the　blame　on　bep。　not　surprisingly；　the　annex　is　once　again　in　an　uproar。　bep　is　beside　herself　with　rage。

perhaps　mr。　kugler　will　finally　have　this　shady　character　tailed。

the　appraiser　from　beethovenstraat　was　here　this　morning。　he　offered　us　400　guilders　for　our　chest；　in　our　opinion；　the　other　estimates　are　also　too　low。

i　want　to　ask　the　magazine　the　prince　if　theyll　take　one　of　my　fairy　tales；　under　a　pseudonym；　of　course。　but　up　to　now　all　my　fairy　tales　have　been　too　long；　so　i　dont　think　i　have　much　of　a　chance。

until　the　next　time；　darling。

yours；　anne　

m。　frank

tuesday；　april　25；　1944

dearest　kitty；

for　the　last　ten　days　dussel　hasnt　been　on　speaking　terms　with　mr。　van　daan；　and　all　because　of　the　new　security　measures　since　the　break…in。　one　of　these　was　that　hes　no　longer　allowed　to　go　downstairs　in　the　evenings。　peter　and　mr。　van　daan　make　the　last　round　every　night　at　nine…thirty；　and　after　that　no　one　may　go　downstairs。　we　cant　flush　the　toilet　anymore　after　eight　at　night　or　after　eight　in　the　morning。　the　windows　may　be　opened　only　in　the　morning　when　the　lights　go　on　in　mr。　kuglers　office；　and　they　can　no　longer　be　propped　open　with　a　stick　at　night。　this　last　measure　is　the　reason　for　dussels　sulking。　he　claims　that　mr。　van　daan　bawled　him　out；　but　he　has　only　himself　to　blame。　he　says　hed　rather　live　without　food　than　without　air；　and　that　they　simply　must　figure　out　a　way　to　keep　the　windows　open。

〃ill　have　to　speak　to　mr。　kugler　about　this；〃　he　said　to　me。

i　replied　that　we　never　discussed　matters　of　this　sort　with　mr。　kugler；　only　within　the　group。

〃everythings　always　happening　behind　my　back。　ill　have　to　talk　to　your　father　about　that。鈥�

hes　also　not　allowed　to　sit　in　mr。　kuglers　office　anymore　on　saturday　afternoons　or　sundays；　because　the　manager　of　kegs　might　hear　him　if　he　happens　to　be　next　door。

dussel　promptly　went　and　sat　there　anyway。　mr。　van　daan　was　furious；　and　father　went　downstairs　to　talk　to　dussel；　who　came　up　with　some　flimsy　excuse；　but　even　father　didnt　fall　for　it　this　time。　now　fathers　keep…　ing　his　dealings　with　dussel　to　a　minimum　because　dussel　insulted　him。　not　one　of　us　knows　what　he　said；　but　it　must　have　been　pretty　awful。

and　to　think　that　that　miserable　man　has　his　birthday　next　week。　how　can　you　celebrate　your　birthday　when　youve　got　the　sulks；　how　can　you　accept　gifts　from　people　you　wont　even　talk　to？

mr。　voskuijl　is　going　downhill　rapidly。　for　more　than　ten　days　hes　had　a　temperature　of　almost　a　hundred　and　four。　the　doctor　said　his　condition　is　hopeless；　they　think　the　cancer　has　spread　to　his　lungs。　the　poor　man；　wed　so　like　to　help　him；　but　only　god　can　help　him　now！

ive　written　an　amusing　story　called　〃blurry　the　explorer；〃　which　was　a　big　hit　with　my　three　listeners。

i　still　have　a　bad　cold　and　have　passed　it　on　to　margot；　as　well　as　mother　and　father。

if　only　peter　doesnt　get　it。　he　insisted　on　a　kiss；　and　called　me　his　el　dorado。　you　cant　call　a　person　that；　silly　boy！　but　hes　sweet　anyway！

yours；　anne　

m。　frank

thursday；　april　27；　1944

dearest　kitty；

mrs。　van　d。　was　in　a　bad　mood　this　morning。　all　she　did　was　plain；　first　about　her　cold；　not　being　able　to　get　cough　drops　and　the　agony　of　having　to　blow　her　nose　all　the　time。　next　she　grumbled　that　the　sun　wasnt　shining；　the　invasion　hadnt　started；　we　werent　allowed　to　look　out　the　windows；　etc。；　etc。　we　couldnt　help　but　laugh　at　her；　and　it　couldnt　have　been　that　bad；　since　she　soon　joined　in。

our　recipe　for　potato　kugel；　modified　due　to　lack　of　onions：

put　peeled　potatoes　through　a　food　mill　and　add　a　little　dry　government…issue　flour　and　salt。　grease　a　mold　or　ovenproof　dish　with　paraffin　or　stearin　and　bake　for　21/2　hours。　serve　with　rotten　strawberry　pote。　（onions　not　available。　nor　oil　for　mold　or　dough！）

at　the　moment　im　reading　emperor　charles　v；　written　by　a　professor　at　the　university　of　gottingen；　hes　spent　forty　years　working　on　this　book。　it　took　me　five　days　to　read　fifty　pages。　i　cant　do　any　more　than　that。　since　the　book　has　598　pages；　you　can　figure　out　just　how　long　its　going　to　take　me。　and　thats　not　even　counting　the　second　volume。　but。　。　。　very　interesting！

the　things　a　schoolgirl　has　to　do　in　the　course　of　a　single　day！　take　me；　for　example。　first；　i　translated　a　passage　on　nelsons　last　battle　from　dutch　into　english。

then；　i　read　more　about　the　northern　war　（1700…21）　involving　peter　the　great；　charles　xii；　augustus　the　strong；　stanislaus　leczinsky；　mazeppa；　von　gorz；　bran…　denburg；　western　pomerania；　eastern　pomerania　and　denmark；　plus　the　usual　dates。

next；　i　wound　up　in　brazil；　where　i　read　about　bahia　tobacco；　the　abundance　of　coffee；　the　one　and　a　half　million　inhabitants　of　rio　de　janeiro；　pernambuco　and　sao　paulo　and；　last　but　not　least；　the　amazon　river。　then　about　negroes；　mulattoes；　mestizos；　whites；　the　illiteracy　rate　　over　50　percent　　and　malaria。　since　i　had　some　time　left；　i　glanced　through　a　genealogical　chart：　john　the　old；　william　louis；　ernest　casimir　i；　henry　casimir　i；　right　up　to　little　margriet　franciska　（born　in　1943　in

ottawa）。

twelve　oclock：　i　resumed　my　studies　in　the　attic；　reading　about　deans；　priests；　ministers；　popes　and　。　。　。　whew；　it　was　one　oclock！

at　two　the　poor　child　（ho　hum）　was　back　at　work。　old　world　and　new　world　monkeys　were　next。　kitty；　tell　me　quickly；　how　many　toes　does　a　hippopotamus　have？

then　came　the　bible；　noahs　ark；　shem；　ham　and　japheth。　after　that；　charles　v。

then；　with　peter；　thack…　erays　book　about　the　colonel；　in　english。　a　french　test；　and　then　a　parison　between　the　mississippi　and　the　missouri！

enough　for　today。　adieu！

yours；　anne　

m。　frank

friday；　april　28；　1944

dearest　kitty；

ive　never　forgotten　my　dream　of　peter　schiff　（see　the　beginning　of　january）。　even　now　i　can　still　feel　his　cheek　against　mine；　and　that　wonderful　glow　that　made　up　for　all　the　rest。　once　in　a　while　id　had　the　same　feeling　with　this　peter；　but　never　so　intensely。　。　。　until　last　night。　we　were　sitting　on　the　divan；　as　usual；　in　each　others　arms。　suddenly　the　everyday　anne　slipped　away　and　the　second　anne　took　her　place。

the　second　anne；　whos　never　overconfident　or　amusing；　but　wants　only　to　love　and　be　gentle。

i　sat　pressed　against　him　and　felt　a　wave　of　emotion　e　over　me。　tears　rushed　to　my　eyes；　those　from　the　left　fell　on　his　overalls；　while　those　from　the　right　trickled　down　my　nose　and　into　the　air　and　landed　beside　the　first。　did　he　notice？　he　made　no　movement　to　show　that　he　had。　did　he　feel　the　same　way　i　did？　he　hardly　said　a　word。　did　he　realize　he　had　two　annes　at　his　side？　my　questions　went　unanswered。

at　eight…thirty　i　stood　up　and　went　to　the　window；　where　we　always　say　good…bye。　i　was　still　trembling；　i　was　still　anne　number　two。　he　came　over　to　me；　and　i　threw　my　arms　around　his　neck　and　kissed　him　on　his　left　cheek。　i　was　about　to　kiss　the　other　cheek　when　my　mouth　met　his；　and　we　pressed　our　lips　together。　in　a　daze；　we　embraced；　over　and　over　again；　never　to　stop；　oh！

peter　needs　tenderness。　for　the　first　time　in　his　life　hes　discovered　a　girl；　for　the

first　time　hes　seen　that　even　the　biggest　pests　also　have　an　inner　self　and　a　heart；　and　are　transformed　as　soon　as　theyre　alone　with　you。　for　the　first　time　in　his　life　hes　given　himself　and　his　friendship　to　another　person。　hes　never　had　a　friend　before；　boy　or　g