芦紬晩芝哂猟井_芦紬,献声針-及42嫗
梓囚徒貧圭鮗 ○ 賜 ★ 辛酔堀貧和鍬匈梓囚徒貧議 Enter 囚辛指欺云慕朕村匈梓囚徒貧圭鮗 ● 辛指欺云匈競何
!!!!隆堋響頼紗秘慕禰厮宴和肝写偬堋響
ere i dont need the support of mother or anyone else。 it didnt happen overnight。 ive struggled long and hard and shed many tears to bee as independent as i am now。 you can laugh and refuse to believe me察but i dont care。 i know im an independent person察and i dont feel i need to account to you for my actions。 im only telling you this because i dont want you to think im doing things behind your back。 but theres only one person im accountable to察and thats me。
when i was having problems察everyone and that includes you closed their eyes and ears and didnt help me。 on the contrary察all i ever got were admonitions not to be so noisy。 i was noisy only to keep myself from being miserable all the time。 i was overconfident to keep from having to listen to the voice inside me。 ive been putting on an act for the last year and a half察day in察day out。 ive never plained or dropped my mask察nothing of the kind察and now。 。 。 now the battle is over。 ive won im independent察in both body and mind。 i dont need a mother anymore察and ive emerged from the struggle a stronger person。
now that its over察now that i know the battle has been won察i want to go my own way察to follow the path that seems right to me。 dont think of me as a fourteen´year´old察since all these troubles have made me older察i wont regret my actions察ill behave the way i think i should
gentle persuasion wont keep me from going upstairs。 youll either have to forbid it察or trust me through thick and thin。 whatever you do察just leave me alone
yours察anne
m。 frank
saturday察may 6察1944
dearest kitty
last night before dinner i tucked the letter id written into fathers pocket。 according to margot察he read it and was upset for the rest of the evening。 i was upstairs doing the dishes。 poor pim察i might have known what the effect of such an epistle would
be。 hes so sensitive i immediately told peter not to ask any questions or say anything more。 pims said nothing else to me about the matter。 is he going to
everything here is more or less back to normal。 we can hardly believe what jan察mr。
kugler and mr。 kleiman tell us about the prices and the people on the outside察half a pound of tea costs 350。00 guilders察half a pound of coffee 80。00 guilders察a pound of butter 35。00 guilders察one egg 1。45 guilders。 people are paying 14。00 guilders an ounce for bulgarian tobacco everyones trading on the black market察every errand boy has something to offer。 the delivery boy from the bakery has supplied us with darning thread´90 cents for one measly skein´the milkman can get hold of ration books察an undertaker delivers cheese。 break´ins察murders and thefts are daily occurrences。 even the police and night watchmen are getting in on the act。 everyone wants to put food in their stomachs察and since salaries have been frozen察people have had to resort to swindling。 the police have their hands full trying to track down the many girls of fifteen察sixteen察seventeen and older who are reported missing every day。
i want to try to finish my story about ellen察the fairy。 just for fun察i can give it to father on his birthday察together with all the copyrights。
see you later 。actually察thats not the right phrase。 in the german program broadcast from england they always close with ;aufwiederhoren。; so i guess i should say察 until we write again。;
yours察anne
m。 frank
sunday morning察may 71944
dearest kitty
father and i had a long talk yesterday afternoon。 i cried my eyes out察and he cried too。 do you know what he said to me察kitty
;ive received many letters in my lifetime察but none as hurtful as this。 you察who have had so much love from your parents。 you察whose parents have always been ready to help you察who have always defended you察no matter what。 you talk of not having to account to us for your actions you feel youve been wronged and left to your own devices。 no察anne察youve done us a great injustice
;perhaps you didnt mean it that way察but thats what you wrote。 no察anne察we have done nothing to deserve such a reproach
oh察ive failed miserably。 this is the worst thing ive ever done in my entire life。 i used my tears to show off察to make myself seem important so hed respect me。 ive certainly had my share of unhappiness察and everything i said about mother is true。 but to accuse pim察whos so good and whos done everything for me´no察that was too cruel for words。
its good that somebody has finally cut me down to size察has broken my pride察because ive been far too smug。 not everything mistress anne does is good any´ one who deliberately causes such pain to someone they say they love is despicable察the lowest of the low
what im most ashamed of is the way father has forgiven me察he said hes going to throw the letter in the stove察and hes being so nice to me now察as if he were the one whod done something wrong。 well察anne察you still have a lot to learn。 its time you made a beginning察in´ stead of looking down at others and always giving them the blame
ive known a lot of sorrow察but who hasnt at my age拭ive been putting on an act察but was hardly even aware of it。 ive felt lonely察but never desperate not like father察who once ran out into the street with a knife so he could put an end to it all。 ive never gone that far。
i should be deeply ashamed of myself察and i am。 whats done cant be undone察but at least you can keep it from happening again。 id like to start all over察and that shouldnt be difficult察now that i have peter。 with him supporting me察i know i can do it im not alone anymore。 he loves me察i love him察i have my books察my writing and my diary。 im not all that ugly察or that stupid察i have a sunny disposition察and i want to develop a good character
yes察anne察you knew full well that your letter was unkind and untrue察but you were actually proud of it ill take father as my example once again察and i will improve myself。
yours察anne
m。 frank
monday察may 8察1944
dearest kitty
have i ever told you anything about our family拭i dont think i have察so let me begin。
father was born in frankfurt am main to very wealthy parents此michael frank owned
a bank and became a millionaire察and alice sterns parents were prominent and well´to´do。 michael frank didnt start out rich察he was a self´made man。 in his youth father led the life of a rich mans son。 parties every week察balls察banquets察beautiful girls察waltzing察dinners察a huge house察etc。 after grandpa died察most of the money was lost察and after the great war and inflation there was nothing left at all。 up until the war there were still quite a few rich relatives。 so father was extremely well´bred察and he had to laugh yesterday because for the first time in his fifty´five years察he scraped out the frying pan at the table。
mothers family wasnt as wealthy察but still fairly well´off察and weve listened openmouthed to stories of private balls察dinners and engagement parties with 250 guests。
were far from rich now察but ive pinned all my hopes on after the war。 i can assure you察im not so set on a bourgeois life as mother and margot。 id like to spend a year in paris and london learning the languages and studying art history。 pare that with margot察who wants to nurse newborns in palestine。 i still have visions of gorgeous dresses and fascinating people。 as ive told you many times before察i want to see the world and do all kinds of exciting things察and a little money wont hurt
this morning miep told us about her cousins engagement party察which she went to on saturday。 the cousins parents are rich察and the grooms are even richer。 miep made our mouths water telling us about the food that was served此vegetable soup with meatballs察cheese察rolls with sliced meat察hors doeuvres made with eggs and roast beef察rolls with cheese察genoise察wine and cigarettes察and you could eat as much as you wanted。
miep drank ten schnapps and smoked three cigarettes could this be our temperance advocate拭if miep drank all those察i wonder how many her spouse managed to toss down拭everyone at the party was a little tipsy察of course。 there were also two officers from the homicide squad察who took photographs of the wedding couple。 you can see were never far from mieps thoughts察since she promptly noted their names and addresses in case anything should happen and we needed contacts with good dutch people。
our mouths were watering so much。 we察whod had nothing but two spoonfuls of hot cereal for breakfast and were absolutely famished察we察who get nothing but half´cooked spinach for the vitamins。 and rotten pota´ toes day after day察we察who fill our empty stomachs with nothing but boiled lettuce察raw lettuce察spinach察spinach and more spinach。 maybe well end up being as strong as popeye察though up to now ive seen no sign of it
if miep had taken us along to the party察there wouldnt have been any rolls left over for the other guests。 if wed been there察wed have snatched up everything in sight察including the furniture。 i tell you察we were practically pulling the words right out of her mouth。 we were gathered around her as if wed never in all our lives heard of
delicious food or elegant people and these are the granddaughters of the distinguished millionaire。 the world is a crazy place
yours察anne
m。 frank
tuesday察may 9察1944
dearest kitty
ive finished my story about ellen察the fairy。 ive copied it out on nice notepaper察decorated it with red ink and sewn the pages together。 the whole thing looks quite pretty察but i dont know if its enough of a birthday present。 margot and mother have both written poems。
mr。 kugler came upstairs this afternoon with the news that starting monday察mrs。
broks would like to spend two hours in the office every afternoon。 just imagine the office staff wont be able to e upstairs察the potatoes cant be delivered察bep wont get her dinner察we cant go to the bathroom察we wont be able to move and all sorts of other inconveniences we proposed a variety of ways to get rid of her。 mr。 van daan thought a good laxative in her coffee might do the trick。 ;no察─mr。 kleiman answered察 please dont察or well never get her off the can。
a roar of laughter。 ;the can拭─mrs。 van d。 asked。 ;what does that mean拭─an explanation was given。 ;is it all right to use that word拭─she asked in perfect innocence。 ;just imagine察─bep giggled察 there you are shopping at the bijenkorf and you ask the way to the can。 they wouldnt even know what you were talking about≠
dussel now sits on the ;can察─to borrow the expression察every day at twelve´thirty on the dot。 this afternoon i boldly took a piece of pink paper and wrote
mr。 dussels toilet timetable mornings from 7此15 to 730 a。m。
afternoons after 1 p。m。
otherwise察only as needed
i tacked this to the green bathroom door while he was still inside。 i might well have added transgressors will be subject to confinement ─because our bathroom can be locked from both the inside and the outside。
mr。 van daans latest joke
after a bible lesson about adam and eve察a thirteen´year´old boy asked his father察 tell me察father察how did i get born垂
;well察─the father replied察 the stork plucked you out of the ocean察set you down in mothers bed and bit her in the leg察hard。 it bled so much she had to sta