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inscription£º
IN¡¡AFFECTIONATE¡¡MEMORY
OF
B¡¡I¡¡N¡¡G¡¡O£»
SECRETLY¡¡AND¡¡CRUELLY¡¡PUT¡¡TO¡¡DEATH£»
IN¡¡COLD¡¡BLOOD£»
BY¡¡A
NEIGHBOUR¡¡AND¡¡FRIEND¡£
JUNE£»¡¡1881¡£
If¡¡this¡¡explanation¡¡of¡¡mine¡¡ever¡¡reaches¡¡my¡¡neighbours'¡¡eyes£»¡¡I¡¡humbly
hope¡¡they¡¡will¡¡have¡¡the¡¡humanity¡¡either¡¡to¡¡take¡¡away¡¡or¡¡tone¡¡down¡¡that
tablet¡£¡¡They¡¡cannot¡¡conceive¡¡what¡¡I¡¡suffer¡¡when¡¡curious¡¡visitors
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windows£»¡¡and¡¡asking¡¡me¡¡countless¡¡questions¡¡about¡¡them£¡
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with¡¡averted¡¡heads¡¡I¡¡feel¡¡myself¡¡growing¡¡crimson¡£¡¡Travers¡¡is¡¡almost
always¡¡with¡¡Lilian¡¡now¡£¡¡He¡¡has¡¡given¡¡her¡¡a¡¡dog£»a¡¡fox¡terrier£»and
they¡¡take¡¡ostentatiously¡¡elaborate¡¡precautions¡¡to¡¡keep¡¡it¡¡out¡¡of¡¡my
garden¡£
I¡¡should¡¡like¡¡to¡¡assure¡¡them¡¡here¡¡that¡¡they¡¡need¡¡not¡¡be¡¡under¡¡any
alarm¡£¡¡I¡¡have¡¡shot¡¡one¡¡dog¡£
THAT¡¡BRUTE¡¡SIMMONS
BY
ARTHUR¡¡MORRISON
Simmons's¡¡infamous¡¡behaviour¡¡toward¡¡his¡¡wife¡¡is¡¡still¡¡matter¡¡for
profound¡¡wonderment¡¡among¡¡the¡¡neighbours¡£¡¡The¡¡other¡¡women¡¡had¡¡all
along¡¡regarded¡¡him¡¡as¡¡a¡¡model¡¡husband£»¡¡and¡¡certainly¡¡Mrs¡£¡¡Simmons¡¡was
a¡¡most¡¡conscientious¡¡wife¡£¡¡She¡¡toiled¡¡and¡¡slaved¡¡for¡¡that¡¡man£»¡¡as¡¡any
woman¡¡in¡¡the¡¡whole¡¡street¡¡would¡¡have¡¡maintained£»¡¡far¡¡more¡¡than¡¡any
husband¡¡had¡¡a¡¡right¡¡to¡¡expect¡£¡¡And¡¡now¡¡this¡¡was¡¡what¡¡she¡¡got¡¡for¡¡it¡£
Perhaps¡¡he¡¡had¡¡suddenly¡¡gone¡¡mad¡£
Before¡¡she¡¡married¡¡Simmons£»¡¡Mrs¡£¡¡Simmons¡¡had¡¡been¡¡the¡¡widowed¡¡Mrs¡£
Ford¡£¡¡Ford¡¡had¡¡got¡¡a¡¡berth¡¡as¡¡donkeyman¡¡on¡¡a¡¡tramp¡¡steamer£»¡¡and¡¡that
steamer¡¡had¡¡gone¡¡down¡¡with¡¡all¡¡hands¡¡off¡¡the¡¡Cape£º¡¡a¡¡judgment£»¡¡the
widow¡¡woman¡¡feared£»¡¡for¡¡long¡¡years¡¡of¡¡contumacy£»¡¡which¡¡had¡¡culminated
in¡¡the¡¡wickedness¡¡of¡¡taking¡¡to¡¡the¡¡sea£»¡¡and¡¡taking¡¡to¡¡it¡¡as¡¡a
donkeymanan¡¡immeasurable¡¡fall¡¡for¡¡a¡¡capable¡¡engine¡fitter¡£¡¡Twelve
years¡¡as¡¡Mrs¡£¡¡Ford¡¡had¡¡left¡¡her¡¡still¡¡childless£»¡¡and¡¡childless¡¡she
remained¡¡as¡¡Mrs¡£¡¡Simmons¡£
As¡¡for¡¡Simmons£»¡¡he£»¡¡it¡¡was¡¡held£»¡¡was¡¡fortunate¡¡in¡¡that¡¡capable¡¡wife¡£
He¡¡was¡¡a¡¡moderately¡¡good¡¡carpenter¡¡and¡¡joiner£»¡¡but¡¡no¡¡man¡¡of¡¡the
world£»¡¡and¡¡he¡¡wanted¡¡one¡£¡¡Nobody¡¡could¡¡tell¡¡what¡¡might¡¡not¡¡have
happened¡¡to¡¡Tommy¡¡Simmons¡¡if¡¡there¡¡had¡¡been¡¡no¡¡Mrs¡£¡¡Simmons¡¡to¡¡take
care¡¡of¡¡him¡£¡¡He¡¡was¡¡a¡¡meek¡¡and¡¡quiet¡¡man£»¡¡with¡¡a¡¡boyish¡¡face¡¡and
sparse£»¡¡limp¡¡whiskers¡£¡¡He¡¡had¡¡no¡¡vices¡¡£¨even¡¡his¡¡pipe¡¡departed¡¡him
after¡¡his¡¡marriage£©£»¡¡and¡¡Mrs¡£¡¡Simmons¡¡had¡¡ingrafted¡¡on¡¡him¡¡divers
exotic¡¡virtues¡£¡¡He¡¡went¡¡solemnly¡¡to¡¡chapel¡¡every¡¡Sunday£»¡¡under¡¡a¡¡tall
hat£»¡¡and¡¡put¡¡a¡¡pennyone¡¡returned¡¡to¡¡him¡¡for¡¡the¡¡purpose¡¡out¡¡of¡¡his
week's¡¡wagesin¡¡the¡¡plate¡£¡¡Then£»¡¡Mrs¡£¡¡Simmons¡¡overseeing£»¡¡he¡¡took¡¡off
his¡¡best¡¡clothes£»¡¡and¡¡brushed¡¡them¡¡with¡¡solicitude¡¡and¡¡pains¡£¡¡On
Saturday¡¡afternoons¡¡he¡¡cleaned¡¡the¡¡knives£»¡¡the¡¡forks£»¡¡the¡¡boots£»¡¡the
kettles£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡windows£»¡¡patiently¡¡and¡¡conscientiously£»¡¡on¡¡Tuesday
evenings¡¡he¡¡took¡¡the¡¡clothes¡¡to¡¡the¡¡mangling£»¡¡and¡¡on¡¡Saturday¡¡nights
he¡¡attended¡¡Mrs¡£¡¡Simmons¡¡in¡¡her¡¡marketing£»¡¡to¡¡carry¡¡the¡¡parcels¡£
Mrs¡£¡¡Simmons's¡¡own¡¡virtues¡¡were¡¡native¡¡and¡¡numerous¡£¡¡She¡¡was¡¡a
wonderful¡¡manager¡£¡¡Every¡¡penny¡¡of¡¡Tommy's¡¡thirty¡six¡¡or¡¡thirty¡eight
shillings¡¡a¡¡week¡¡was¡¡bestowed¡¡to¡¡the¡¡greatest¡¡advantage£»¡¡and¡¡Tommy
never¡¡ventured¡¡to¡¡guess¡¡how¡¡much¡¡of¡¡it¡¡she¡¡saved¡£¡¡Her¡¡cleanliness¡¡in
housewifery¡¡was¡¡distracting¡¡to¡¡behold¡£¡¡She¡¡met¡¡Simmons¡¡at¡¡the¡¡front
door¡¡whenever¡¡he¡¡came¡¡home£»¡¡and¡¡then¡¡and¡¡there¡¡he¡¡changed¡¡his¡¡boots
for¡¡slippers£»¡¡balancing¡¡himself¡¡painfully¡¡on¡¡alternate¡¡feet¡¡on¡¡the
cold¡¡flags¡£¡¡This¡¡was¡¡because¡¡she¡¡scrubbed¡¡the¡¡passage¡¡and¡¡door¡step
turn¡¡about¡¡with¡¡the¡¡wife¡¡of¡¡the¡¡downstairs¡¡family£»¡¡and¡¡because¡¡the
stair¡carpet¡¡was¡¡her¡¡own¡£¡¡She¡¡vigilantly¡¡supervised¡¡her¡¡husband¡¡all
through¡¡the¡¡process¡¡of¡¡¡¨cleaning¡¡himself¡¨¡¡after¡¡work£»¡¡so¡¡as¡¡to¡¡come
between¡¡her¡¡walls¡¡and¡¡the¡¡possibility¡¡of¡¡random¡¡splashes£»¡¡and¡¡if£»¡¡in
spite¡¡of¡¡her¡¡diligence£»¡¡a¡¡spot¡¡remained¡¡to¡¡tell¡¡the¡¡tale£»¡¡she¡¡was¡¡at
pains¡¡to¡¡impress¡¡the¡¡fact¡¡on¡¡Simmons's¡¡memory£»¡¡and¡¡to¡¡set¡¡forth¡¡at
length¡¡all¡¡the¡¡circumstances¡¡of¡¡his¡¡ungrateful¡¡selfishness¡£¡¡In¡¡the
beginning¡¡she¡¡had¡¡always¡¡escorted¡¡him¡¡to¡¡the¡¡ready¡made¡¡clothes¡¡shop£»
and¡¡had¡¡selected¡¡and¡¡paid¡¡for¡¡his¡¡clothes£»¡¡for¡¡the¡¡reason¡¡that¡¡men¡¡are
such¡¡perfect¡¡fools£»¡¡and¡¡shopkeepers¡¡do¡¡as¡¡they¡¡like¡¡with¡¡them¡£¡¡But¡¡she
presently¡¡improved¡¡on¡¡that¡£¡¡She¡¡found¡¡a¡¡man¡¡selling¡¡cheap¡¡remnants¡¡at
a¡¡street¡corner£»¡¡and¡¡straightway¡¡she¡¡conceived¡¡the¡¡idea¡¡of¡¡making
Simmons's¡¡clothes¡¡herself¡£¡¡Decision¡¡was¡¡one¡¡of¡¡her¡¡virtues£»¡¡and¡¡a¡¡suit
of¡¡uproarious¡¡check¡¡tweeds¡¡was¡¡begun¡¡that¡¡afternoon¡¡from¡¡the¡¡pattern
furnished¡¡by¡¡an¡¡old¡¡one¡£¡¡More£º¡¡it¡¡was¡¡finished¡¡by¡¡Sunday£»¡¡when
Simmons£»¡¡overcome¡¡by¡¡astonishment¡¡at¡¡the¡¡feat£»¡¡was¡¡endued¡¡in¡¡it£»¡¡and
pushed¡¡off¡¡to¡¡chapel¡¡ere¡¡he¡¡could¡¡recover¡¡his¡¡senses¡£¡¡The¡¡things¡¡were
not¡¡altogether¡¡comfortable£»¡¡he¡¡found£º¡¡the¡¡trousers¡¡hung¡¡tight¡¡against
his¡¡shins£»¡¡but¡¡hung¡¡loose¡¡behind¡¡his¡¡heels£»¡¡and¡¡when¡¡he¡¡sat£»¡¡it¡¡was¡¡on
a¡¡wilderness¡¡of¡¡hard¡¡folds¡¡and¡¡seams¡£¡¡Also£»¡¡his¡¡waistcoat¡¡collar
tickled¡¡his¡¡nape£»¡¡but¡¡his¡¡coat¡¡collar¡¡went¡¡straining¡¡across¡¡from
shoulder¡¡to¡¡shoulder£»¡¡while¡¡the¡¡main¡¡garment¡¡bagged¡¡generously¡¡below
his¡¡waist¡£¡¡Use¡¡made¡¡a¡¡habit¡¡of¡¡his¡¡discomfort£»¡¡but¡¡it¡¡never¡¡reconciled
him¡¡to¡¡the¡¡chaff¡¡of¡¡his¡¡shopmates£»¡¡for£»¡¡as¡¡Mrs¡£¡¡Simmons¡¡elaborated
successive¡¡suits£»¡¡each¡¡one¡¡modelled¡¡on¡¡the¡¡last£»¡¡the¡¡primal¡¡accidents
of¡¡her¡¡design¡¡developed¡¡into¡¡principles£»¡¡and¡¡grew¡¡even¡¡bolder¡¡and¡¡more
hideously¡¡pronounced¡£¡¡It¡¡was¡¡vain¡¡for¡¡Simmons¡¡to¡¡hintas¡¡hint¡¡he¡¡did
that¡¡he¡¡shouldn't¡¡like¡¡her¡¡to¡¡overwork¡¡herself£»¡¡tailoring¡¡being¡¡bad
for¡¡the¡¡eyes£»¡¡and¡¡there¡¡was¡¡a¡¡new¡¡tailor's¡¡in¡¡the¡¡Mile¡¡End¡¡Road£»¡¡very
cheap£»¡¡where¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡¨Ho¡¡yus£»¡¨¡¡she¡¡retorted£»¡¡¡¨you're¡¡very¡¡consid'rit¡¡I
dessay¡¡sittin'¡¡there¡¡actin'¡¡a¡¡livin'¡¡lie¡¡before¡¡your¡¡own¡¡wife¡¡Thomas
Simmons¡¡as¡¡though¡¡I¡¡couldn't¡¡see¡¡through¡¡you¡¡like¡¡a¡¡book¡¡a¡¡lot¡¡you
care¡¡about¡¡overworkin'¡¡me¡¡as¡¡long¡¡as¡¡/your/¡¡turn's¡¡served¡¡throwin'
away¡¡money¡¡like¡¡dirt¡¡in¡¡the¡¡street¡¡on¡¡a¡¡lot¡¡o'¡¡swindlin'¡¡tailors¡¡an'
me¡¡workin'¡¡and'¡¡slavin'¡¡'ere¡¡to¡¡save¡¡a¡¡'a'penny¡¡an'¡¡this¡¡is¡¡my¡¡return
for¡¡it¡¡any¡¡one¡¡'ud¡¡think¡¡you¡¡could¡¡pick¡¡up¡¡money¡¡in¡¡the¡¡'orse¡road¡¡an'
I¡¡b'lieve¡¡I'd¡¡be¡¡thought¡¡better¡¡of¡¡if¡¡I¡¡laid¡¡in¡¡bed¡¡all¡¡day¡¡like¡¡some
would¡¡that¡¡I¡¡do¡£¡¨¡¡So¡¡that¡¡Thomas¡¡Simmons¡¡avoided¡¡the¡¡subject£»¡¡nor¡¡even
murmured¡¡when¡¡she¡¡resolved¡¡to¡¡cut¡¡his¡¡hair¡£
So¡¡his¡¡placid¡¡fortune¡¡endured¡¡for¡¡years¡£¡¡Then¡¡there¡¡came¡¡a¡¡golden
summer¡¡evening¡¡when¡¡Mrs¡£¡¡Simmons¡¡betook¡¡herself¡¡with¡¡a¡¡basket¡¡to¡¡do
some¡¡small¡¡shopping£»¡¡and¡¡Simmons¡¡was¡¡left¡¡at¡¡home¡£¡¡He¡¡washed¡¡and¡¡put
away¡¡the¡¡tea¡things£»¡¡and¡¡then¡¡he¡¡fell¡¡to¡¡meditating¡¡on¡¡a¡¡new¡¡pair¡¡of
trousers£»¡¡finished¡¡that¡¡day£»¡¡and¡¡hanging¡¡behind¡¡the¡¡parlour¡¡door¡£
There¡¡they¡¡hung£»¡¡in¡¡all¡¡their¡¡decent¡¡innocence¡¡of¡¡shape¡¡in¡¡the¡¡seat£»
and¡¡they¡¡were¡¡shorter¡¡of¡¡leg£»¡¡longer¡¡of¡¡waist£»¡¡and¡¡wilder¡¡of¡¡pattern
than¡¡he¡¡had¡¡ever¡¡worn¡¡before¡£¡¡And¡¡as¡¡he¡¡looked¡¡on¡¡them¡¡the¡¡small¡¡devil
of¡¡Original¡¡Sin¡¡awoke¡¡and¡¡clamoured¡¡in¡¡his¡¡breast¡£¡¡He¡¡was¡¡ashamed¡¡of
it£»¡¡of¡¡course£»¡¡for¡¡well¡¡he¡¡knew¡¡the¡¡gratitude¡¡he¡¡owed¡¡his¡¡wife¡¡for
those¡¡same¡¡trousers£»¡¡among¡¡other¡¡blessings¡£¡¡Still£»¡¡there¡¡the¡¡small
devil¡¡was£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡small¡¡devil¡¡was¡¡fertile¡¡in¡¡base¡¡suggestions£»¡¡and
could¡¡not¡¡be¡¡kept¡¡from¡¡hinting¡¡at¡¡the¡¡new¡¡crop¡¡of¡¡workshop¡¡gibes¡¡that
would¡¡spring¡¡at¡¡Tommy's¡¡first¡¡public¡¡appearance¡¡in¡¡such¡¡things¡£
¡¨Pitch¡¡'em¡¡in¡¡the¡¡dust¡bin£¡¡¨¡¡said¡¡the¡¡small¡¡devil¡¡at¡¡last¡£¡¡¡¨It's¡¡all
they're¡¡fit¡¡for¡£¡¨
Simmons¡¡turned¡¡away¡¡in¡¡sheer¡¡horror¡¡of¡¡his¡¡wicked¡¡self£»¡¡and¡¡for¡¡a
moment¡¡thought¡¡of¡¡washing¡¡the¡¡tea¡things¡¡over¡¡again¡¡by¡¡way¡¡of
discipline¡£¡¡Then¡¡he¡¡made¡¡for¡¡the¡¡back¡¡room£»¡¡but¡¡saw¡¡from¡¡the¡¡landing
that¡¡the¡¡front¡¡door¡¡was¡¡standing¡¡open£»¡¡probably¡¡the¡¡fault¡¡of¡¡the¡¡child
downstairs¡£¡¡Now¡¡a¡¡front¡¡door¡¡standing¡¡open¡¡was¡¡a¡¡thing¡¡that¡¡Mrs¡£
Simmons¡¡would¡¡/not/¡¡abide£º¡¡it¡¡looked¡¡low¡£¡¡So¡¡Simmons¡¡went¡¡down£»¡¡that
she¡¡might¡¡not¡¡be¡¡wroth¡¡with¡¡him¡¡for¡¡the¡¡thing¡¡when¡¡she¡¡came¡¡back£»¡¡and£»
as¡¡he¡¡shut¡¡the¡¡door£»¡¡he¡¡looked¡¡forth¡¡into¡¡the¡¡street¡£
A¡¡man¡¡was¡¡loitering¡¡on¡¡the¡¡pavement£»¡¡and¡¡prying¡¡curiously¡¡about¡¡the
door¡£¡¡His¡¡face¡¡was¡¡tanned£»¡¡his¡¡hands¡¡were¡¡deep¡¡in¡¡the¡¡pockets¡¡of¡¡his
unbraced¡¡blue¡¡trousers£»¡¡and¡¡well¡¡back¡¡on¡¡his¡¡head¡¡he¡¡wore¡¡the
high¡crowned¡¡peaked¡¡cap£»¡¡topped¡¡with¡¡a¡¡knob¡¡of¡¡wool£»¡¡which¡¡is¡¡affected
by¡¡Jack¡¡ashore¡¡about¡¡the¡¡docks¡£¡¡He¡¡lurched¡¡a¡¡step¡¡nearer¡¡to¡¡the¡¡door£»
and¡¡¡¨Mrs¡£¡¡Ford¡¡ain't¡¡in£»¡¡is¡¡she£¿¡¨¡¡he¡¡said¡£
Simmons¡¡stared¡¡at¡¡him¡¡for¡¡a¡¡matter¡¡of¡¡five¡¡seconds£»¡¡and¡¡then¡¡said£»
¡¨Eh£¿¡¨
¡¨Mrs¡£¡¡Ford¡¡as¡¡was£»¡¡thenSimmons¡¡now£»¡¡ain't¡¡it£¿¡¨
He¡¡said¡¡this¡¡with¡¡a¡¡furtive¡¡leer¡¡that¡¡Simmons¡¡neither¡¡liked¡¡nor
understood¡£
¡¨No£»¡¨¡¡said¡¡Simmons£»¡¡¡¨she¡¡ain't¡¡in¡¡now¡£¡¨
¡¨You¡¡ain't¡¡her¡¡'usband£»¡¡are¡¡ye£¿¡¨
¡¨Yus¡£¡¨
The¡¡man¡¡took¡¡his¡¡pipe¡¡from¡¡his¡¡mouth¡¡and¡¡grinned¡¡silently¡¡and¡¡long¡£
¡¨Blimy£»¡¨¡¡he¡¡said¡¡at¡¡length£»¡¡¡¨you¡¡look¡¡like¡¡the¡¡sort¡¡o'¡¡bloke¡¡she'd
like£»¡¨¡¡and¡¡with¡¡that¡¡he¡¡grinned¡¡again¡£¡¡Then£»¡¡seeing¡¡that¡¡Simmons¡¡made
ready¡¡to¡¡shut¡¡the¡¡door£»¡¡he¡¡put¡¡a¡¡foot¡¡on¡¡the¡¡sill¡¡and¡¡a¡¡hand¡¡against
the¡¡panel¡£¡¡¡¨Don't¡¡be¡¡in¡¡a¡¡'hurry£»¡¡matey£»¡¨¡¡he¡¡said£»¡¡¡¨I¡¡come¡¡'ere¡¡t'
'ave¡¡a¡¡little¡¡talk¡¡with¡¡you£»¡¡man¡¡to¡¡man£»¡¡d'¡¡ye¡¡see£¿¡¨¡¡And¡¡he¡¡frowned
fiercely¡£
Tommy¡¡Simmons¡¡felt¡¡uncomfortable£»¡¡but¡¡the¡¡door¡¡would¡¡not¡¡shut£»¡¡so¡¡he
parleyed¡£¡¡¡¨Wotjer¡¡want£¿¡¨¡¡he¡¡asked£»¡¡¡¨I¡¡dunno¡¡you¡£¡¨
¡¨Then£»¡¡if¡¡you'll¡¡excuse¡¡the¡¡liberty£»¡¡I'll¡¡interdooce¡¡meself£»¡¡in¡¡a
manner¡¡of¡¡speaking¡£¡¨¡¡He¡¡touched¡¡his¡¡cap¡¡with¡¡a¡¡bob¡¡of¡¡mock¡¡humility¡£
¡¨I'm¡¡Bob¡¡Ford£»¡¨¡¡he¡¡said£»¡¡¡¨come¡¡back¡¡out¡¡o'¡¡kingdom¡¡come¡¡so¡¡to¡¡say¡£¡¡Me
as¡¡went¡¡down¡¡with¡¡the¡¡/Mooltan/safe¡¡dead¡¡five¡¡year¡¡gone¡£¡¡I¡¡come¡¡to
see¡¡my¡¡wife¡£¡¨
During¡¡this¡¡speech¡¡Thomas¡¡Simmons's¡¡jaw¡¡was¡¡dropping¡¡lower¡¡and¡¡lower¡£
At¡¡the¡¡end¡¡of¡¡it¡¡he¡¡poked¡¡his¡¡fingers¡¡up¡¡through¡¡his¡¡hair£»¡¡looked¡¡down
at¡¡the¡¡mat£»¡¡then¡¡up¡¡at¡¡the¡¡fanlight£»¡¡then¡¡out¡¡into¡¡the¡¡street£»¡¡then
hard¡¡at¡¡his¡¡visitor¡£¡¡But¡¡he¡¡found¡¡nothing¡¡to¡¡say¡£
¡¨Come¡¡to¡¡see¡¡my¡¡wife£»¡¨¡¡the¡¡man¡¡repeated¡£¡¡¡¨So¡¡now¡¡we¡¡can¡¡talk¡¡it¡¡over