the red cross girl(红十字姑娘)-第25章
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suddenly that she did not intend to marry for several years。
This brought Latimer to his feet and called forth from him remarks so
eloquent that Helen found it very difficult to keep her own。 She as though
she had been caught in an undertow and was being whirled out to sea。
When； at last； she had regained her breath； only because Latimer had
paused to catch his； she shook her head miserably。
〃The trouble is；〃 she complained； 〃there are so many think the same
thing！〃
〃What do they think？〃 demanded Latimer。
〃That they want to marry me。〃
Checked but not discouraged； Latimer attacked in force。
〃I can quite believe that；〃 he agreed； 〃but there's this important
difference： no matter how much a man wants to marry you； he can't LOVE
you as I do！〃
〃That's ANOTHER thing they think；〃 sighed Helen。
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〃I'm sorry to be so unoriginal；〃 snapped Latimer。
〃PLEASE don't！〃 pleaded Helen。 〃I don't mean to be unfeeling。 I'm not
unfeeling。 I'm only trying to be fair。 If I don't seem to take it to heart； it's
because I know it does no good。 I can see how miserable a girl must be if
she is loved by one man and can't make up her mind whether or not she
wants to marry him。 But when there's so many she just stops worrying； for
she can't possibly marry them all。〃
〃ALL！〃 exclaimed Latimer。 〃It is incredible that I have undervalued
you； but may I ask how many there are？〃
〃I don't know；〃 sighed Helen miserably。 〃There seems to be something
about me that〃
〃There is！〃 interrupted Latimer。 〃I've noticed it。 You don't have to tell
me about it。 I know that the Helen Page habit is a damned difficult habit to
break！〃
It cannot be said that he made any violent effort to break it。 At least；
not one that was obvious to Fair Harbor or to Helen。
One of their favorite drives was through the pine woods to the point on
which stood the lighthouse； and on one of these excursions they explored a
forgotten wood road and came out upon a cliff。 The cliff overlooked the
sea； and below it was a jumble of rocks with which the waves played hide
and seek。 On many afternoons and mornings they returned to this place；
and； while Latimer read to her； Helen would sit with her back to a tree and
toss pine…cones into the water。 Sometimes the poets whose works he read
made love so charmingly that Latimer was most grateful to them for
rendering such excellent first aid to the wounded； and into his voice he
would throw all that feeling and music that from juries and mass meetings
had dragged tears and cheers and votes。
But when his voice became so appealing that it no longer was possible
for any woman to resist it； Helen would exclaim excitedly： 〃Please excuse
me for interrupting； but there is a large spider〃 and the spell was gone。
One day she exclaimed： 〃Oh！〃 and Latimer patiently lowered the
〃Oxford Book of Verse；〃 and asked： 〃What is it； NOW？〃
〃I'm so sorry；〃 Helen said； 〃but I can't help watching that Chapman
boy； he's only got one reef in； and the next time he jibs he'll capsize； and
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he can't swim； and he'll drown。 I told his mother only yesterday〃
〃I haven't the least interest in the Chapman boy；〃 said Latimer； 〃or in
what you told his mother； or whether he drowns or not！ I'm a drowning
man myself！〃
Helen shook her head firmly and reprovingly。 〃Men get over THAT
kind of drowning；〃 she said。
〃Not THIS kind of man doesn't！〃 said Latimer。 〃And don't tell me；〃 he
cried indignantly； 〃that that's ANOTHER thing they all say。〃
〃If one could only be sure！〃 sighed Helen。 〃If one could only be sure
that youthat the right man would keep on caring after you marry him the
way he says he cares before you marry him。 If you could know that； it
would help you a lot in making up your mind。〃
〃There is only one way to find that out；〃 said Latimer； 〃that is to marry
him。 I mean； of course；〃 he corrected hastily； 〃to marry me。〃
One day； when on their way to the cliff at the end of the wood road；
the man who makes the Nantucket sailor and peddles him passed through
the village； and Latimer bought the sailorman and carried him to their
hiding…place。 There he fastened him to the lowest limb of one of the
ancient pine…trees that helped to screen their hiding…place from the world。
The limb reached out free of the other branches； and the wind caught the
sailorman fairly and spun him like a dancing dervish。 Then it tired of him；
and went off to try to drown the Chapman boy； leaving the sailorman
motionless with his arms outstretched； balancing in each hand a tiny oar
and smiling happily。
〃He has a friendly smile；〃 said Helen； 〃I think he likes us。〃
〃He is on guard；〃 Latimer explained。 〃I put him there to warn us if any
one approaches； and when we are not here； he is to frighten away
trespassers。 Do you understand？〃 he demanded of the sailorman。 〃Your
duty is to protect this beautiful lady。 So long as I love her you must guard
this place。 It is a life sentence。 You are always on watch。 You never sleep。
You are her slave。 She says you have a friendly smile。 She wrongs you。 It
is a beseeching； abject； worshipping smile。 I am sure when I look at her
mine is equally idiotic。 In fact； we are in many ways alike。 I also am her
slave。 I also am devoted only to her service。 And I never sleep； at least not
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since I met her。〃
From her throne among the pine needles Helen looked up at the
sailorman and frowned。
〃It is not a happy simile；〃 she objected。 〃For one thing； a sailorman has
a sweetheart in every port。〃
〃Wait and see；〃 said Latimer。
〃And；〃 continued the girl with some asperity； 〃if there is anything on
earth that changes its mind as often as a weather…vane； that is less
CERTAIN； less CONSTANT〃
〃Constant？〃 Latimer laughed at her in open scorn。 〃You come back
here；〃 he challenged； 〃months from now； years from now； when the winds
have beaten him； and the sun blistered him； and the snow frozen him； and
you will find him smiling at you just as he is now； just as confidently；
proudly； joyously； devotedly。 Because those who are your slaves； those
who love YOU； cannot come to any harm； only if you disown them； only
if you drive them away！
The sailorman； delighted at such beautiful language； threw himself
about in a delirium of joy。 His arms spun in their sockets like Indian clubs；
his oars flashed in the sun； and his eyes and lips were fixed in one blissful；
long…drawn…out； unalterable smile。
When the golden…rod turned gray； and the leaves red and yellow； and it
was time for Latimer to return to his work in the West； he came to say
good…by。 But the best Helen could do to keep hope alive in him was to say
that she was glad he cared。 She added it was very helpful to think that a
man such as he believed you were so fine a person； and during the coming
winter she would try to be like the fine person he believed her to be； but
which； she assured him； she was not。
Then he told her again she was the most wonderful being in the world；
to which she said： 〃Oh； indeed no！〃 and then； as though he were giving her
a cue； he said： 〃Good…by！〃 But she did not take up his cue； and they shook
hands。 He waited； hardly daring to breathe。
〃Surely； now that the parting has come；〃 he assured himself； 〃she will
make some sign； she will give me a word； a look that will write 'total'
under the hours we have spent together； that will help to carry me through
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the long winter。〃
But he held her hand so long and looked at her so hungrily that he
really forced her to say： 〃Don't miss your train；〃 which kind consideration
for his comfort did not delight him as it should。 Nor； indeed； later did she
herself recall the remark with satisfaction。
With Latimer out of the way the other two hundred and forty…nine
suitor attacked with renewed hope。 Among other advantages they had over
Latimer was that they were on the ground。 They saw Helen daily； at
dinners； dances； at the country clubs； in her own drawing…room。 Like any
sailor from the Charlestown Navy Yard and his sweetheart； they could
walk beside her in the park and throw peanuts to the pigeons； and scratch
dates and initials on the green benches； they could walk with her up one
side of Commonwealth Avenue and down the south bank of the Charles；
when the sun was gilding the dome of the State House； when the bridges
were beginning to deck themselves with necklaces of lights。 They had
known her since they wore knickerbockers； and they shared many interests
and friends in common； they talked the same language。 Latimer could talk
to her only in letters； for with her he shared no friends or interests； and he
was forced to choose between telling her of his lawsuits and his efforts in
politics or of his love。 To write to her of his affairs seemed wasteful and
impertinent； and of his love for her； after she had received what he told of
it in silence； he was too proud to speak。 So he wrote but seldom； and then
only to say： 〃You know what I send you。〃 Had he known it； his best letters
were those he did not send。 When in the morning mail Helen found his
familiar handwriting； that seemed to stand out like the face of a friend in a
crowd； she would pounce upon the letter； read it； and； assured of his love；
would go on her way rejoicing。 But when in the morning there was no
letter； she wondered why； and all day she wondered why。 And the next
morning when again she was disappointed； her thoughts of Latimer and
her doubts and speculations concerning hi
