the red cross girl(红十字姑娘)-第40章
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thought he had found a victim； and that the loss of the few dollars he
might have won should so deeply disturb him showed his need was great。
Almost at once he abandoned me and I went on deck。 When I returned an
hour later to the smoking…room he was deep in a game of poker。
As I passed he hailed me gayly。
〃Don't scold； now；〃 he laughed； 〃you know I can't keep away from it。〃
From his manner those at the table might have supposed we were
friends of long and happy companionship。 I stopped behind his chair； but
he thought I had passed； and in reply to one of the players answered：
〃Known him for years； he's set me right many a time。 When I broke my
right femur 'chasin；' he got me back in the saddle in six weeks。 All my
people swear by him。〃
One of the players smiled up at me； and Talbot turned。 But his eyes
met mine with perfect serenity。 He even held up his cards for me to see。
〃What would you draw？〃 he asked。
His audacity so astonished me that in silence I could only stare at him
and walk on。
When on deck he met me he was not even apologetic。 Instead； as
though we were partners in crime； he chuckled delightedly。
〃Sorry；〃 he said。 〃Had to do it。 They weren't very keen at my taking a
hand； so I had to use your name。 But I'm all right now；〃 he assured me。
〃They think you vouched for me； and to…night they're going to raise the
limit。 I've convinced them I'm an easy mark。〃
〃And I take it you are not；〃 I said stiffly。
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He considered this unworthy of an answer and only smiled。 Then the
smile died； and again in his eyes I saw distress； infinite weariness； and
fear。
As though his thoughts drove him to seek protection； he came closer。
〃I'm 'in bad；' doctor；〃 he said。 His voice was frightened； bewildered；
like that of a child。 〃I can't sleep； nerves all on the loose。 I don't think
straight。 I hear voices； and no one around。 I hear knockings at the door；
and when I open it； no one there。 If I don't keep fit I can't work； and this
trip I got to make expenses。 You couldn't help me； could youcouldn't
give me something to keep my head straight？〃
The need of my keeping his head straight that he might the easier rob
our fellow…passengers raised a pretty question of ethics。 I meanly dodged
it。 I told him professional etiquette required I should leave him to the
ship's surgeon。
〃But I don't know HIM；〃 he protested。
Mindful of the use he had made of my name； I objected strenuously：
〃Well； you certainly don't know me。〃
My resentment obviously puzzled him。
〃I know who you ARE；〃 he returned。 〃You and I〃With a deprecatory
gesture； as though good taste forbade him saying who we were； he stopped。
〃But the ship's surgeon！〃 he protested； 〃he's an awful bounder！ Besides；〃
he added quite simply； 〃he's watching me。〃
〃As a doctor；〃 I asked； 〃or watching you play cards？〃
〃Play cards；〃 the young man answered。 〃I'm afraid he was ship's
surgeon on the P。 & O。 I came home on。 There was trouble that voyage；
and I fancy he remembers me。〃
His confidences were becoming a nuisance。
〃But you mustn't tell me that；〃 I protested。 〃I can't have you making
trouble on this ship； too。 How do you know I won't go straight from here
to the captain？〃
As though the suggestion greatly entertained him； he laughed。
He made a mock obeisance。 〃I claim the seal of your profession；〃 he
said。 〃Nonsense；〃 I retorted。 〃It's a professional secret that your nerves are
out of hand； but that you are a card…sharp is NOT。 Don't mix me up with a
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priest。〃
For a moment Talbot； as though fearing he had gone too far； looked at
me sharply； he bit his lower lip and frowned。
〃I got to make expenses；〃 he muttered。 〃And； besides； all card games
are games of chance； and a card…sharp is one of the chances。 Anyway；〃 he
repeated； as though disposing of all argument； 〃I got to make expenses。〃
After dinner； when I came to the smoking…room； the poker party sat
waiting； and one of them asked if I knew where they could find 〃my
friend。〃 I should have said then that Talbot was a steamer acquaintance
only； but I hate a row； and I let the chance pass。
〃We want to give him his revenge；〃 one of them volunteered。
〃He's losing； then？〃 I asked。
The man chuckled complacently。
〃The only loser；〃 he said。
〃I wouldn't worry；〃 I advised。 〃He'll come for his revenge。〃
That night after I had turned in he knocked at my door。 I switched on
the lights and saw him standing at the foot of my berth。 I saw also that
with difficulty he was holding himself in hand。
〃I'm scared；〃 he stammered； 〃scared！〃
I wrote out a requisition on the surgeon for a sleeping…potion and sent
it to him by the steward； giving the man to understand I wanted it for
myself。 Uninvited； Talbot had seated himself on the sofa。 His eyes were
closed； and as though he were cold he was shivering and hugging himself
in his arms。
〃Have you been drinking？〃 I asked。
In surprise he opened his eyes。
〃I can't drink；〃 he answered simply。 〃It's nerves and worry。 I'm tired。〃
He relaxed against the cushions； his arms fell heavily at his sides； the
fingers lay open。
〃God；〃 he whispered； 〃how tired I am！〃
In spite of his tanand certainly he had led the out…of…door lifehis
face showed white。 For the moment he looked old； worn； finished。
〃They're crowdin' me；〃 the boy whispered。 〃They're always crowdin'
me。〃 His voice was querulous； uncomprehending； like that of a child
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complaining of something beyond his experience。 〃I can't remember when
they haven't been crowdin' me。 Movin' me on； you understand？ Always
movin' me on。 Moved me out of India； then Cairo； then they closed Paris；
and now they've shut me out of London。 I opened a club there； very quiet；
very exclusive； smart neighborhood； tooa flat in Berkeley Streetroulette
and chemin de fer。 I think it was my valet sold me out； anyway； they came
in and took us all to Bow Street。 So I've plunged on this。 It's my last
chance！〃
〃This trip？〃
〃No； my family in New York。 Haven't seen 'em in ten years。 They paid
me to live abroad。 I'm gambling on THEM； gambling on their takin' me
back。 I'm coming home as the Prodigal Son； tired of filling my belly with
the husks that the swine do eat； reformed character； repentant and all that；
want to follow the straight and narrow； and they'll kill the fatted calf。〃 He
laughed sardonically。 〃Like hell they will！ They'd rather see ME killed。〃
It seemed to me； if he wished his family to believe he were returning
repentant； his course in the smoking…room would not help to reassure them。
I suggested as much。
〃If you get into 'trouble；' as you call it；〃 I said； 〃and they send a
wireless to the police to be at the wharf； your people would hardly〃
〃I know；〃 he interrupted； 〃but I got to chance that。 I GOT to make
enough to go on withuntil I see my family。〃
〃If they won't see you？〃 I asked。 〃What then？〃
He shrugged his shoulders and sighed lightly； almost with relief； as
though for him the prospect held no terror。
〃Then it's 'Good…night； nurse；'〃 he said。 〃And I won't be a bother to
anybody any more。〃
I told him his nerves were talking； and talking rot； and I gave him the
sleeping…draft and sent him to bed。
It was not until after luncheon the next day when he made his first
appearance on deck that I again saw my patient。 He was once more a
healthy picture of a young Englishman of leisure； keen； smart； and fit；
ready for any exercise or sport。 The particular sport at which he was so
expert I asked him to avoid。
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〃Can't be done！〃 he assured me。 〃I'm the loser； and we dock to…morrow
morning。 So tonight I've got to make my killing。〃
It was the others who made the killing。
I came into the smoking…room about nine o'clock。 Talbot alone was
seated。 The others were on their feet； and behind them in a wider
semicircle were passengers； the smoking…room stewards and the ship's
purser。
Talbot sat with his back against the bulkhead； his hands in the pockets
of his dinner coat； from the corner of his mouth his long cigarette…holder
was cocked at an impudent angle。 There was a tumult of angry voices； and
the eyes of all were turned upon him。 Outwardly at least he met them with
complete indifference。 The voice of one of my countrymen； a noisy pest
named Smedburg； was raised in excited accusation。
〃When the ship's surgeon first met you；〃 he cried； 〃you called
yourself Lord Ridley。〃
〃I'll call myself anything I jolly well like；〃 returned Talbot。 〃If I choose
to dodge reporters； that's my pidgin。 I don't have to give my name to every
meddling busybody that〃
〃You'll give it to the police； all right；〃 chortled Mr。 Smedburg。 In the
confident； bullying tones of the man who knows the crowd is with him； he
shouted： 〃And in the meantime you'll keep out of this smoking…room！〃
The chorus of assent was unanimous。 It could not be disregarded。
Talbot rose and with fastidious concern brushed the cigarette ashes from
his sleeve。 As he moved toward the door he called back： 〃Only too
delighted to keep out。 The crowd in this room makes a gentleman feel
lonely。〃
But he was not to escape with the last word。
His prosecutor pointed his finger at him。
〃And the next time you take the name of Adolph Meyer；〃 he shouted；
